Social Anxiety

[ShadowCat]

So hello there. It's been awhile since i've logged on, so i have no idea what topic this falls in.. Anyway, what i'm about to share is about my social life and how I am "classified" as with my group of friends/ people. So basically im that dude there who's the outcast amongst the rest. Whenever there's a gathering or anything that's got to do with socialising with other humans, i'll always be "Oh right, he's judging me. Yeah, she is too.." and so on and so fourth. Yes, you might say I have low-self esteem but why do i take it to the extreme that whenever I step outside, i feel like the whole world is looking at me like im a retarded garbage. Not only that, I certainly do not like going to shopping malls, ordering food from the cashier, going to parties, hanging out with friends and bla bla. And now, you guys think im an unfriendly asshole who doesnt give a fuck about others and love being alone. No i dont. To be honest, i hate myself. I hate myself for what im doing with my social life; by destroying it. Everyday, im losing a friend just because im not socialising enough. A week more till my hols ending and how did i spent it? Hah, staying at home doing absolute nothing. I just can't farking socialise with anyone. When someone starts a convo with me, i'll be very nervous. But if they dont, there wont be any conversation to start with. 

 

I've talked my problems with only one dude, but he just dont understand the complexity, the challenge i have to face through every day just by stepping outside my house without feeling the world is judging me. He's a very socialised guy and i certainly envy his personality and his social life; having so many buddies where you can have fun with. I dont. I feel like social life is a living hell. 

 

So guys, do i have social anxiety disorder? I really, really need to know. )=

[Guest Guest]

So hello there. It's been awhile since i've logged on, so i have no idea what topic this falls in.. Anyway, what i'm about to share is about my social life and how I am "classified" as with my group of friends/ people. So basically im that dude there who's the outcast amongst the rest. Whenever there's a gathering or anything that's got to do with socialising with other humans, i'll always be "Oh right, he's judging me. Yeah, she is too.." and so on and so fourth. Yes, you might say I have low-self esteem but why do i take it to the extreme that whenever I step outside, i feel like the whole world is looking at me like im a retarded garbage. Not only that, I certainly do not like going to shopping malls, ordering food from the cashier, going to parties, hanging out with friends and bla bla. And now, you guys think im an unfriendly asshole who doesnt give a fuck about others and love being alone. No i dont. To be honest, i hate myself. I hate myself for what im doing with my social life; by destroying it. Everyday, im losing a friend just because im not socialising enough. A week more till my hols ending and how did i spent it? Hah, staying at home doing absolute nothing. I just can't farking socialise with anyone. When someone starts a convo with me, i'll be very nervous. But if they dont, there wont be any conversation to start with.

I've talked my problems with only one dude, but he just dont understand the complexity, the challenge i have to face through every day just by stepping outside my house without feeling the world is judging me. He's a very socialised guy and i certainly envy his personality and his social life; having so many buddies where you can have fun with. I dont. I feel like social life is a living hell.

So guys, do i have social anxiety disorder? I really, really need to know. )=

I would strongly suggest you to get a iPhone 6 , take many selfie and lock yourself in the room , rot and die there before you scare the shit out of me !

[Guest Guest]

http://m.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/social-anxiety-social-phobia

[RatedG2]

Sounds like you do have social anxiety disorder, but the best way to find out is to see a psychiatrist. It really helps

[Guest gongtang]

We are all humans just like you are. What is there to be afraid about? why care so much about what others think?

U need to see a doctor!

[knight]

if you are able to make assumptions that others are judging you and let that affect you so much. Why can't you tell yourself these ppl love and adore me instead and allow that to empower you?

[Guest Guest]

need to love yourself more.

even good looking guys have esteem issues.

put on your earphones and listen to some beautiful music while you are out there.

People like to bitch and put others down because they are not enlightened.

People who are kind, loving would not do that to another human being.

Some of the nicest and wonderful human beings I have met are plain and simple.

But they have a heart of gold.

[Guest wozzit]

As the previous poster suggests, the first thing you have to do is learn to love yourself. Only then can you gradually build up your self-esteem and start to rebuild your life - which includes a social life. None of us here can know why you feel as you do. It could be just one problem or there could be a whole range of issues. I agree with Rated G2 - you need to seek some professional psychiatric help. Don't wait! Just go and do it! You certainly won't find the answer here, no matter how well meaning most posters will be.

Edited October 14, 2014 by wozzit

[SoSonni]

I would strongly suggest you to get a iPhone 6 , take many selfie and lock yourself in the room , rot and die there before you scare the shit out of me !

 

you can go fuck yourself.

[Guest Guest]

you can go fuck yourself.

u can join them for 3some, u look like btm

[The.Intrv.]

So guys, do i have social anxiety disorder? I really, really need to know. )=

 

You aren't expecting to get professional answers from a gay forum, are you?

 

Have an actual psychiatrist assess your mental health.

 

 

you can go fuck yourself.

u can join them for 3some, u look like btm

 

:lol:

[Rhatefia]

Hi,

I've read about your post on social anxiety, and maybe I thought I could be another person you can share your problems with.

Regarding social anxiety, I'm sure many people do experience it, just to varying degrees. For me sometimes I shun social gatherings because I don't really want to talk and express myself and I don't feel all that comfortable with certain groups of people. However I would still feel lonely without anyone to say anything to. Some close friends might think me as anti-social, while others may find me very outgoing. I sometimes think I'm bipolar, but that's how life is; no one is truly at either ends of a spectrum, but rather somewhere in between.

 

I do not think you are a retarded piece of garbage, neither do I think you have low self esteem. You for one are very articulate in writing, and possess clarity of thought. These are things you should be proud of, as these glimpses of your personality are a part of you are and will remain with you for some time. I've looked at your blog, and it is absolutely amazing. I enjoyed reading your thoughts and appreciated your selection of emotionally moving music.

 

Of course being nervous and uncomfortable around people is certainly frustrating; especially if you not wish to be so. I don't know if you identity as being AJ or not, but if you do, I can imagine it does not get any easier for you. What I suggest is to start with your likes and interests. You sound like you have stuff that you are passionate about, and you can always try to use it as a conversational starter, or drop references to like-minded friends. I personally also love Legend of Korra too, because I was a fan of the previous Avatar series. Maybe you just need to associate with someone whom you are comfortable with and regain your confidence from there.

 

Try to change your mindset slowly but surely. Try to do things that oppose the mental stereotype of yourself, like saying 'Hey' to a stranger on the street. Do not doubt yourself, and certainly do not think that you fit into the shell that is the your imagined projection of yourself. You still have your life ahead of you which is full of promise, so why let it be shackled by the shadows of your psyche?

 

I know it is always easier said than done, and I am no psychologist. But I believe that a little personal effort and some tenacity would go a long way in helping you move along. I don't think you need professional help; you aren't mentally or physically handicapped. You could always talk to me if you need some time to open up, or when you feel things get too overwhelming for you to bear.

 

Cheers.

[FirsTimer]

you are only social phobic as much as you believe yourself to be. although I would say that your nervousness is only instinctual, a norm response to predators inherently. it is intrinsic in, everyone. don't worry. don't believe in those nonsense. take a try at doing the complement of what you would have done

with love

[abang]

Why so paranoid?

Just go with the flow of things... too much planning may spoil your enjoyment.

Don't give a damn what others may say ... they are just hurting you... dampening your self-confidence.

 

Just when someone utters that I am old ... I just say, yeah, I am old and forgetful/old and senile...

When someone compliments me of my not so-old looks, I would say, "not too bad for a 53, right?"

 

Boost your confidence through the image you project ...try your best to look "current"...

I don't know your age range but I reckon you are below 30...

Look at the displays at Uniqlo, H& M for some current trends.. 

Have a clean haircut and perhaps, change your hairstyle too!

 

Most importantly, let the positive vibes shines through your pores..

Never show that you are disinterested or dejected.. who wants to befriend a loser?

[Guest wozzit]

Sorry I absolutely do not agree with Rhatefia. I have read your blog. Seems like you are just 17 but you are a talented writer and write in a much more mature way.

 

What really concerns me about your writings in the OP and on your blog, though, are the constant hugely negative references – wars, destruction, nature dying, humans are a killing machine, violence. Here’s an excerpt –

personally, I don't like making friends. Because the more friends you make/ the more people you know, the higher the amount of enemies you'll make and the more back stabbers there'll be. So to be in the safe side, I just refrain from making friends. It just isnt my thing, and I've said previously, this is my perspective.

 

The fact is nothing in your blog is positive. If, as it suggests, you are only 17, you have to change your views on life. Your teen years are the time you should be learning about and adapting to the society in which you live. That incudes interacting with society and making friends.  You cannot live out your life on your own especially holding such negative views.

 

It may be that you are merely going through a phase – as we all did as teenagers. If you are serious about your views on friendship and the world, though, then you cannot be certain of getting through this phase without the help of family and friends.

 

Other posters are correct. Getting advice from a gay, sometimes bitchy, forum is not where you should be seeking advice. Go to a psychiatrist. That does not imply you are sick or mentally ill. It merely acknowledges that you have some issues that need to be talked through at length and some guidance provided.

Edited October 15, 2014 by wozzit

[G_M]

Dear Little Cat,
 

Saturday, 20 September 2014  <- from  http://thedarkawaits.blogspot.sg/
So firstly, the title itself explains or summarise what I'm actually about to discuss. As you guys know, I've live in this material world for 17 long years and had been introduced to social life when i was 5.

You do know that this is a forum for those 18 and above right?
 
And since you are NOT of the age requirement we stipulated, I am sorry that I will have to be the party poop-per to lock up your account until you are of our stipulated age.
 
Come back 1 year and 30 days later when you are 18.  <-- Account will be suspended for 395 days.
 
This post will be locked until the above said time.

 

Do come back again when you are 18.  
 
Bye.

 

P/s: Since you can internalise about your own problems, perhaps you can put some thoughts on how you can make little changes to your life by taking small steps. Hopefully, by then, your social anxiety issues would be behind you.