Discovered Family Member e.g Bro / Father or Relatives e.g. Nephew is Gay (compiled)

[Guest Guest]

Recently I got a rude shock when some friends told me that someone i personally knew who was exceptional successful CEO ,married with lovely kids etc was discovered by his own son to be GAY.

As to how on earth that came about, i didn't bother to ask! -but everyone who knew them were talking at a table in relation to this new openness and liberation these days.

The guy was like model husband and other than his vanity and obession about looking young and good(which seemed normal these days in an age of wellness spas and botox treatments etc) you wouldn't think he was gay after having more than three kids! He had even teased and made disparaging remarks regarding gays before ! Even appeared as model family in the media etc

Now how could he have turned GAY overnite after having married and having kids???

Apparently the poor son had such a rude shock it affected his studies that he failed his first year exams at Uni and had to do re.

Now this is one instance that IMO, he could have been influenced into experimenting gay activities, that he simply abandon his responsibilities and consicence as a father to his children in their late teens and 20s!.

Imagine the kids now thinking :"Do I have my father's gay genes?" It could affect them psychologically and even affect their attitude towards family ,procreation and marriage!

The poor wife -bad enough to be deceived, worse to discover your competitors were men!

How does one reassure such kids of gay parents, that they are ok???

http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod...ges/?msg=149035

---

I corrected guest's URL link above which originally pointed to the incorrect article in SammyBoy forum. Anyway for first time readers of SammyBoy, chorut (the author who posted that original story in SammyBoy) is an anti-gay guy.

Hendry Tan

Moderator

[like wind]

Poor kid...

Just hope he will forget his father and accept his father as he is. I just hope he will recover from this shock asap.

I also hope this kid's father will be more careful and focus more on his family. The same go to those who are married... Not offend you all. but, try not to hurt others for your own lust. It's not worth it...

Lastly, I pray the family will forget this father mistake and accept he back if he truely remorse for his action.

Feel like wind, roaming free

[Baloo]

haha...

cannot be BI har?

so you 100% gay people of the wind think lowly of the even smaller subsection of the men who have sex with other men, and women ...

HOW TYPICAL of the failed people as a race.

hetros look down on homos... and homos have high moral ground to look down on bi...

and then homo have this need to be recognised, accepted, and allowed to do what they do wif other consenting men...

go look in the mirror dudes... and do wake up to smell the shit you are shovelling.

it's a shame that the bi CEO was out - dunno by choice or by malice of others. it had been perfect for so long... and finally the brough breaks...

he need understanding from PLU most yet all TOK KOK to say he should reform and surpress his bi tendencies and forget and all that other crap...

more interestingly, PLU even offer the word 'influenced to experiment' or words to that effect...

if homosexuality is inborn, so is bisexuality dudes... WTF are you trying to say by suggesting the CEO was influenced????? it would then mean by extension that homosexuality is also influenced??

you wanna highlight this case, just be sure why you do it. if you not gonna support the guy, pls go to the homophobic camp to wave your flag there.

you really wanna say reform for your family??? how about homosexual's parents, siblings etc?? the parents will be especially hurt most of the time... and if you are the only son, so much the worse... the branch of the family tree where you are, stops. at least, the CEO has 3 offsprings to carry on his family name, and grow his family tree. pure homo do not. think about the crime in a bigger scale, if you wanna point fingers.

it's not that i wish to make a stand about homo vs bi. but please, be considerate, be understanding to the bi who has a family. his secret other life has been publicly exposed. nothing can be sadder... and i can only wish him well, and hope his family can come to terms. and look at his past contribution to the family and the quality time that he spent with them.

dun just becos he is bi, wipe clean all his past contributions...

[GachiMuchi]

Before the argument gets too hot with steam.

Guest merely repost the above posting from Sammyboy and he is NOT the originator of the posts.

If you guys want to re-butt. Why not follow the links to the original website and post your comment.

[Guest Guest]

Before the argument gets too hot with steam.

Guest merely repost the above posting from Sammyboy and he is NOT the originator of the posts.

If you guys want to re-butt. Why not follow the links to the original website and post your comment.

Guys. Dont get so worked up everytime somebody brought up a topic for sharing or merely for discussion sake. Any one of you can do it too. Like me...having brought up the "Crusing in mortuary, Hospital, HarParVilla" threads all just for fun and tickling some asses. Engaged each other but need no rebutting. No body needed it like you or me.

[Guest Guest]

GM, I am sure Baloo knows the topic is a re-post. I think he is telling 'like wind' off, and deservedly too. 'lw's' comment and attitude from that higher moral ground almost gave me altitude sickness. Read puke.

[Guest Guest]

Well! nobody is borned with a dick up his ass or rather gay. If he ended up gay, so be it. If i found out that my father is a gay, thats his business as long as he is responsible father. I would console my mom not to worry about what he is as long as he is a responsible husband.

Should my son found out that i'm a gay. I'll tell me to mind his own business since i dont owe him anything. Just needed his understanding.

Should i found out that my son is a gay, i'll tell him to beware of STDs.

Can you change a person? If not, so?

[Guest Guest Lazyone]

Say what you like, but bi's probably hv the best of both worlds... that they can perform and enjoy both sexes and that they can be attractive to both sexes is something so many can only envy.. what I am saying is don't be ever so ready to dispense your "holier than thou" take and 'frog in the pond' views .. I know quite a few bi's who actually enjoy their lifestyle and it aint nobody's business but theirs.

[like wind]

Hi, Baloo and other guest.

I said the "those who are married". I think this included hetro, homo, bi, trans, and etc. I didn't mention only gay, right?

By the way, I just feel sorry for the kid as we are in the same age group. I'm not married nor will I because I, myself, am from a broken family. So, I'm a bit sensitive on family issue. I just post my view as hope no hurting any more. Listen or not is your guys only decision as I don't have the power to force you to follow my view, right? And you guys also mature enough to decide on your own for your life.

Feel like wind, roaming free

[Guest Guest_guest]

i know this guy.... very nice

[Guest Guest]

Hi, Baloo and other guest.

I said the "those who are married". I think this included hetro, homo, bi, trans, and etc. I didn't mention only gay, right?

By the way, I just feel sorry for the kid as we are in the same age group. I'm not married nor will I because I, myself, am from a broken family. So, I'm a bit sensitive on family issue. I just post my view as hope no hurting any more. Listen or not is your guys only decision as I don't have the power to force you to follow my view, right? And you guys also mature enough to decide on your own for your life.

Feel like wind, roaming free

Broken family maybe better if both parent cant get along. Enjoy it while some of us cant bcos our parents maybe giving us nightmare staying together. It is good that you have an opinion. It is a pity some dont. It is nice to be a bi cos he got the best of both world.

[Baloo]

since this topic was brought up in this forum, it shall be 'debated' or 'discussed' at this forum.

the views i post are directed at the unrealistic views that some proposed.

and this should be a heated debate. but not a personal attack - i do not do personal attacks unless so provoked... but most of the arguements i put forth is against the view. not the person. it's separate issues.

heated because the views put forth are skewing towards a phobic type of behaviour and attitude. bi-phobic now... from people who were 'marginalised' by the homo-phobics no less... the bullied now found an even smaller group than themselves to bully... what? this is the food chain??

families - intact, dysfunctional, broken, happy, sad, whatever... there are a million valid reasons for them being the way they are. it's not solely because one key member (father in this case) is discovered to be bi-sexual instead of hetrosexual.

personally, i'm a little amazed that the generation Y, with all their 'openness' about sexual orienation of their peers would be so distraut over the discovery that their parents need their 'acceptance' as well...

haha... only can accept people they dun care about or peers as having alternate sexual preferences to hetro, but can't accept that of their parents... hmmm... really make you wonder doesn't it? do the generation Y people think that alternate sexual preference only happen in their generation??

the view that i cannot take is that the bi parent must now surpress their natural tendencies to be 'more' with their families and stay celebate ...

and by extension gay sons must get married and overcome their homosexuality to breed and continue their family line with a female. and becos now that they are married and have offsprings, shud give up their gay tendencies to raise their family.

huh???

like dat oso can har?? becos this is what is being suggested... and this is what i am argueing against.

so the rebuttal is not to get married in the first place... but that's being unfilial in a serious way and hurt your parents too, and you stop your family line as well... so how?

it's a very long and hot debate... the dilema is faced by all who have and lead alternate sexual oriented lives.

as long as the father has done his bit - and he has... all children grown up, in this case, youngest son in university... education, ns, etc all done.. i'd say the father who is bi has indeed done his fair share. and will continue to do his fair share. it's the son who needed adjustment, and because the father is now out, a lot more adjustments need to be made...

the real culprit is whoever allowed the secret to be out... could also be carelessness... and this is the one to address... not just what father alone should do.

like i said... this is the saddest case indeed...

[Guest Guest]

babloo,it is not so much father done his duty so is alright for him to be open about his gayness.He still has responsibility towards his children posterity what happen if his straight sons and daughters want to get marry can you imagine how shameful that the future in-laws found out that the father is a screaming queen :swear:

[Baloo]

Guest of 1:52pm

posterity? shameful? screaming queen?

they are not gonna be advertising the father's bisexual preferences la... which IDIOT would do that??

out to the immediate family dun mean out to the world.

hmmm... it seems that some have pretty set ideas that men who have alternate and multiple sexual preferences shud not breed...

homosexuality and bisexuality is not genetically inherited or is it? so if it is, and now the offsprings are straight and have nesting/procreating tendencies, they should lay off in case the bi-sexual tendencies surface over time?

no win situation leh...

so... back to the first case then... all sexual devients, inclusive homosexuals and bisexuals and animalsexuals shud all be put to death to preserve the purity of the race!! or at least castrated so they cannot breed... either by accident or by choice.

bring on back the Spanish Inquisition! No Witch hunt for long time leow...

hell yeah!

[Massagee]

that he simply abandon his responsibilities and consicence as a father to his children in their late teens and 20s!.

Imagine the kids now thinking :"Do I have my father's gay genes?" It could affect them psychologically and even affect their attitude towards family ,procreation and marriage!

The poor wife -bad enough to be deceived, worse to discover your competitors were men!

He has been providing for the family over years and now that is he 'suddenly gay' he is a bad father? What gives? Beside the Mrs, no one should be bothered with how he likes his sex done.

That brings me to the wife. Maybe she knows about his sexuality all along, even before marriage, and accepts it. Maybe she didn't know, and now that she does, perhaps she doesn't care? I've known married couples merely going through the motions. Maybe she didn't know then and she does care. Well in that case, my heart goes to her.

Like Baloo's said, this story is indeed sad.

[Guest Guest]

So to all fathers, stop fooling around in public or expose yourself. You will not know where to hide your face even at home let alone in public/neighbours. The opportunity cost is too high. Your children or wife or relatives will not claim you from the mortuary if you die simply bcos you are gay (an outcast just like leper).

Am i getting too serious or am i right?

[TopChinese]

You're neither?

I know plenty of gay men who has come to terms with their sexuality during their marriage. And continue to have good relationships with their bfs, ex-wifes and children who support their father's honesty and courage. You can still be a good father and be honest to yourself.

[Guest Guest]

So to all fathers, stop fooling around in public or expose yourself. You will not know where to hide your face even at home let alone in public/neighbours. The opportunity cost is too high. Your children or wife or relatives will not claim you from the mortuary if you die simply bcos you are gay (an outcast just like leper).

Am i getting too serious or am i right?

Dear Guest of 13 August at 03:46pm,

How about if I apply this reply to you:

"So to all SONS, stop fooling around in public or expose yourself. You will not know where to hide your face even at home let alone in public/neighbours. The opportunity cost is too high. Your FATHER or MOTHER or relatives will not claim you from the mortuary if you die simply bcos you are gay (an outcast just like leper)"

So how different are you from the fathers?

[doncoin]

I think as long as he has been a good father to his kids, his children should not feel any difference to this man who is their father. I think a person does not turn gay over-night. Who knows how long he has been struggling inside. So many gay men have married women with hopes that by doing the "right" thing, it will make their homosexual desires go away.

Look at the former governor of New Jersey here in the US- James McGrevey, who came out publicly 2 or 3 years back amidst a scandal. Rather than continuing to hide under the facade of a straight man and be blackmailed, he decided to come clean and open with his sexuality. I think coming out offers a freedom that you know you have nothing to hide. Perhaps this fathe ris doing the same thing- being honest about it.

Unfortunately his son did not handle it too well which I think is understandable- and it takes time to absorbed. So what if he did not do well in his exams? it is not the end of the world.

[Guest Guest]

The way I see it the father is very selfish only thinking of his inner feeling, he dosen't care who he hurts esp. the wife (his childrens can understand modern generation what with internet education) but may not accept that his father is gay.The wife being older generation may not understand how come the husband like to have sex with another man how can you expect her to accept him and share the same bed with him.This selfishness is the same as the son telling his mother that he is gay poor mother all her dreams shattered- wanting her son to become a doctor and marry a nice girl so that she can enjoy all the grandchildrens running around.Isn't both the gay father & gay son revelations are devastating to the wife & mother. :oops:

[Guest Guest]

Woman who is married to a gay husband will be denied of her right for sex. many married gay man just can't get their tool erect infront of a woman.

THey should understand man or woman are equally in need of sex. Why not consider buy their wife a artificial penis from the many sex shop around.

i recommended my friend to buy one for his wife. His wife actually very pleased and now they have sex together? helping his wife lor. I don't ask whether his wife will help him in return.

[Alexandre]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

[oralb]

If you need professional help on talking to him, why not try OC hotline? they are manned by professional folks who is train in handling PLU related issues

[Guest Guest]

What isn't right? Watching gay pxxn or wanking to it?

[Guest curtis]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

It's ok for him to be gay but you'd better stop him watching pxxn at this age( under 18 ).

[suckmenao]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

You should guide this boy. Teach him some very cool techniques you have tried and enjoyed so far. Good luck.

[Guest Guest]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

Alex, asking for help is right but I think you need the help too as it sounds like the idea of your nephew being gay is freaking you out.

We all know that we cannot help but be gay - no medicine, no mental, no surgical procedure can change who we are. So, there is nothing that will change your orientation, nothing that will change your nephews orientation. If you want to help him, you can do so by being the best example of a gay person you can be. You need to be happy as you are, you need to be responsible. In time and when you are comfortable with the idea, how let him know that he can confide in you, if he has problems. BUT only do so if you feel yourself able to help him - it will be disastrous if he confides in you and not only one but both of you end up troubled!

As OralB said, you might want to look elsewhere for help, see out others as you have here.

Hope all goes well for you and your nephew.

[SuperSentai]

Why do you think that you should "help" him? If he is wanking to gay pxxn, that means he had accepted that he is gay (or at least bi), and have come to terms with it, and is enjoying that lifestyle. I did what he's doing when I'm 15, I'm sure many others do too, and we didn't need any "help". When you see him seem troubled over his sexual orientation, only then you help him.

Honestly, would you be "freaking out" if he had been wanking off to straight pxxn?

Edited January 22, 2011 by sentai

[robbie]

There is no point in trying to stop him, if he is like I was at 15 he'll just ignore you. After all there is nothing wrong with watching pxxn and jerking off. I think the best thing you can do is let him know that you are gay and that if he ever needs someone to talk to or has questions that you are there for him.

[Eddy]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

You tried sitting him down and talking to him about the matter.

He's 15 (Sec 3) and he's probably having some difficulty handling his sexuality at school.

He is going to need guidance or at least someone to turn to for answers.

Better he learn from someone he can talk to than from the internet.

Man up and be the uncle you're suppose to be.

[evianguy]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

ignore it. don't embarasse him. he'll come out to you when he's ready. until then, just be the cool openminded uncle.

[recklessbootlegger]

ignore it. don't embarasse him. he'll come out to you when he's ready. until then, just be the cool openminded uncle.

Cannot agree more with this suggestion. Why take the moralistic stand? Is this what we'd appreciate if we were in his place? Leave him to explore his sexuality. Did we all not venture into pxxn when we were young and wank off to it too?

[GachiMuchi]

Here is my take on the above matter.

1. Watching pxxn (gay or str8 is still pxxn). No harm in that. I think many kids that age does that too.

2. Masturbation is not a bad thing. It beats acting it out on his friends in real life.

2. Youngster at that age is curious and are exploring their sexuality. Just so long as it is just jo, you should not be too alarmed.

3. Underage sex is of some concern, but so long as he does not look for sex outside, what harm is there?

He might be gay, or he might not be gay. Only time will tell.

If you have doubts, you can contact OC to ask them for help in how to deal with teenage sexual issues. They may be able to give you a better solution.

[tic-toc]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, ....

So ?

[darkflame]

I don't really think there's a problem now. Anyway, I don't see any problem unless he decides to tell you.

When I was 15, I didn't really care whether I was gay or straight, though I did know I was leaning towards gay already. I just wanked because my body wanted to do so. Didn't really bother about matters of sexuality.

[imchaser]

So r u spying on your nephew or did he purposely left the door ajar when wanking into a gay pxxn?

Either way, since he is not your son, i think u should tell his mum and freak her out.

[maxim21]

Sounds like a kinky situation to me. Maybe in another 3 years, you might be jerking off with (or for) him while watching gay pxxn

[fab]

ignore it. don't embarasse him. he'll come out to you when he's ready. until then, just be the cool openminded uncle.

one up.

[trevorcantona]

LEAVE HIM ALONE...

he has the right to be gay and watch gay pxxn and wank off to them!!!

[XiaoYuEr]

So r u spying on your nephew or did he purposely left the door ajar when wanking into a gay pxxn?

Either way, since he is not your son, i think u should tell his mum and freak her out.

Why are you so malicious as to wanting to freak out his mum? Dont be so flippant at dishing out 'advices' please?

[Anderson]

Since you're only the uncle, it will be your responsibility to let his parents know about this as the kid is still schooling.

Maybe you don't want to be too direct and want to test water first, you can try by hinting with questions like if they know their son is .......what are they going to do about it.

Leave the problem (if you consider that it is) to his parents to handle, afterall its their responsibility on the kids upbringing.

Edited January 22, 2011 by Anderson

[jarboy]

Since you're only the uncle, it will be your responsibility to let his parents know about this as the kid is still schooling.

Maybe you don't want to be too direct and want to test water first, you can try by hinting with questions like if they know their son is .......what are they going to do about it.

Leave the problem (if you consider that it is) to his parents to handle, afterall its their responsibility on the kids upbringing.

Wah u should seriously NOT go n blurt it out to his parents, this is seriously one sucky way to be outed man...

U should just casually talk to him abt pxxn, like maybe buy some pxxno dvds pass to him then discuss diff positions used LOL

IMHO anything (other than raping/molesting him) would be better than outing him to his friends and family...

[imchaser]

Why are you so malicious as to wanting to freak out his mum? Dont be so flippant at dishing out 'advices' please?

Im sorry but im not good at giving advise, i thought perhaps i could humor him with a sarcastic comments.

[XiaoYuEr]

Im sorry but im not good at giving advise, i thought perhaps i could humor him with a sarcastic comments.

Your apology should be directed towards Alexandre (and his nephew should Alexandre really did what you've suggested). Neither am I good at it, hence I chose not to dish out any.

Alexandre's thread was a plea for help; distasteful black humour (especially pertaining to freaking mums/outing people) isn't gonna help him much isn't it?

Edited January 22, 2011 by XiaoYuEr

[Guest whatever]

So r u spying on your nephew or did he purposely left the door ajar when wanking into a gay pxxn?

Either way, since he is not your son, i think u should tell his mum and freak her out.

Why is that on this forum, I'd say about 99.9% of your comments are attacks on other people, rude, stupid and of no help to anyone

If you have nothing nice to say (and yes I'm breaking my own rule) just say nothing

[briax]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

Dear Alexandre,

although you describe what you saw and list your questions, I am not too sure what could be your concerns. Perhaps you can drop me a private message here, call our hotline on 626 86 626 or email us at www.oogachaga.com/care. so that we can see how to work on your concerns.

cheers...Bryan

Edited January 22, 2011 by briax

[Alexandre]

Hey, thanks for all the comments and replies of advices that u guys gave, well, yesterday i went over to him ( after he's done), and talked to him about how does he feel towards gay, well he told me that he's quite open about it, and yeah, he confessed to me that he's been watching gay pxxn with his friends aft sch and they are all open about it as well. So, i'll just wait till the time is right and well, just leave it like this for now i guess

-Cheers,

Alexandre (:

[Guest haha]

Uncle: Ah boy, its not right to surf gay pxxn site.

Nephew: Uncle, but you yourself surf these pxxn sites

Uncle: How you know?

Nephew: ... I got the links from the "History" in this laptop.

Uncle: ok ok I admit, but uncle me is an adult and it is normal for adult to surf these pages. And, you should concentrate on your study first.

Nephew: But hor, uncle, you're using my laptop .

Uncle: ..........

[Guest Guest]

All right, i just found out that my newphew who is 6 years younger than me just now was gay, he's not 18 yet, only 15, i caught him watching gay pxxn and was wanking to it, what should i do as a uncle?, should i let him continue watching it, or stop him and tell him that it's not right?

Pls help

Alexandra, you should lead by example as an uncle. So, please stop watching gay pxxn and wanking; and find a woman to get married. Your nephew will then do as the uncle did then

[MisterPotter]

Uncle: Ah boy, its not right to surf gay pxxn site.

Nephew: Uncle, but you yourself surf these pxxn sites

Uncle: How you know?

Nephew: ... I got the links from the "History" in this laptop.

Uncle: ok ok I admit, but uncle me is an adult and it is normal for adult to surf these pages. And, you should concentrate on your study first.

Nephew: But hor, uncle, you're using my laptop .

Uncle: ..........