How Long Can A Gay Relationship Last?

[Guest guest]

so how long is yr gay relationship? any one celebrating 20th anniversary?

[Guest wozzit]

It can last as long as both parties wish it to last and are prepared to work to make it last. Two of my friends have just celebrated 30 years together. Another couple recently celebrated their 25th.

[Guest Guest]

As long as both want it to be. Either one stops shaking hand rubbing his butt, the other just drop dead too.

[Guest Guest]

most people don't want to give just want to take, a small thing like to make it big,

expect perfect but never look in the mirror, this is why most can't have long lasting love

[Guest Jaded]

most people don't want to give just want to take, a small thing like to make it big,

expect perfect but never look in the mirror, this is why most can't have long lasting love

 

Agree with you. In this modern world it is mostly just ME ME & ME. Obsession with getting rich/super-successful spouse, grand weddings, fancy vacations a few times a year, be wined/dined, just give me give me give me. The spouse must provide material well being, super hot sex, etc etc.  No more about spiritual togetherness, emotional/intellectual growth. 

[Guest wozzit]

It's an old saying but useful to remember. In any relationship there are three parties - you, your partner and the relationship itself. And the relationship is more important than the other two!

[Guest Guest]

As long or as short as hetero relationships, all things being equal.

 

Considering all the help that hetero relationships are getting, and all the shit thrown in the path of homo relationships, really the latter is doing very well.

[Guest Guest]

Hetero have kids to consider so even if unhappy they still try to stay together for the sake of their children. Gays don't and they can leave as and when pleased!

Frankly it is a miracle for any gay relationship to last 5 years!

[Guest Guest]

As long or as short as hetero relationships, all things being equal.

 

Considering all the help that hetero relationships are getting, and all the shit thrown in the path of homo relationships, really the latter is doing very well.

Doing well? You living in a fantasy land is it? A lot of gays use excuse like oh government society discrimination in indulge in rampant sex. 

 

Just open an app or know any "couple" you will hear nonsense like 'open relationship', couples going to sauna, you fuck there i fuck here. 

[Guest GooGooDolls]

Mine just turning 15 soon nxt year...What a glorious yrs we both had..lots of ups n down...disagreement n yeah mouth fighting...but all turn up to b our bits n pieces of life...haha..

[Guest Guest]

It can last as long as you want it to. Homosexual relationships are hardly different from hetrosexual relationships. Both are based on the same pillars (eg. Trust, intimacy, honesty, etc.). Sexual orientation is whether you like guy, girls, or somewhere in between. It does not neccessarily determine the quality of relationships.

It's sad, looking at the state of our community today, how screwed up we are. People screwing around like horny rabbits, acting purely on animal instinct. This is the state our community has been reduced to.

For the straights, in a way, societal structure contributes/helps to their relationships. Factors like family pressure and children force people to 'wise up' and they are more serious in they way they conduct themselves and their relationships.

With us gays, there is no pre-established societal structure aka norm to follow or to refer to. So they misuse this newfound freedom to use as an excuse for their selfish, lustful and destructive behaviour. Open relationships, polygamy, are terms commonly misused as an excuse for cheating and unfaithfulness. (Both partners should wholeheartedly agree to an open relationship before starting anything, instead of automatically assuming). This has led to a vicious cycle.

One thing I try to do is to simply just avoid things like Grindr. Always ask yourself: For them to be there in the first place, what kind of person does it make them?

Good people don't willingly go to Geylang to "just looking around" with the prostitutes, do they?

[Guest wozzit]

I think it's interesting that those loving relationships which have lasted 20, 25 and more years (I even know one couple in Canada who met in college and have been together for nearly 40 years), began before the internet age. To meet almost anyone meant going out to bars, clubs, parties and starting off by meeting face to face, chatting, getting to know about that person, dating, going out for meals, attending concerts and so on - and not relying merely on a cute face, great body and quick one-night stand in bed. Sure, those happened as well, but most of the more serious relationships started after you had got to know someone quite well.

 

Yeah, it sounds very old fashioned now when, as the Guest above points out, most younger guys screw around like rabbits. Sex almost always comes first. After all it's exciting! But the "getting to know you" part comes a great deal later - and in that time how many other cuties have you met and fucked with? It's not really a very healthy environment in which to nurture a relationship. I guess life just moves too fast.

[justin1982]

No. of year(s) of relationship= commitment + effort + faithful

[robin]

I once told my siblings off: Don't you undermine gay relationships. You all may hang on to your relationship due to kids, housing, social pressure. My partner & I, no such thing to hang on but yet, we do so. Don't tell me our love is less real than yours!

Edited October 20, 2014 by robin

[raind]

.

Edited December 25, 2014 by raind

[Guest typ]

I once told my siblings off: Don't you undermine gay relationships. You all may hang on to your relationship due to kids, housing, social pressure. My partner & I, no such thing to hang on but yet, we do so. Don't tell me our love is less real than yours!

A million likes for this. I have wondered about this before. This is just too true.

Makes all the long-lasting gay couples even more amazing to me. Respect to them.

[Guest typ]

How many gay couples get married though? (Go get married in the US or any other legal country)

This question has been on my mind for quite some time. I know I would want to settle down with my future husband;my One in the future.

Like Tony and his husband. Stuck together all those years even though same-sex marriage wasn't legal in the UK. And got married the second it became legal. Total envy and respect.

[Guest Raymond]

My bf and I have been together for 15 years. The best part is .. we're still head over heels in love with each other

[Guest Guest]

My bf and I have been together for 15 years. The best part is .. we're still head over heels in love with each other

How often do you have sex? Has sex been been always good or deteriorating overtime?

What would you say are the binding factors?

[Guest Guest]

Gay relationships can last - it all depends how much the two partners want it. I know of a couple who met in their JC days. Even went to an overseas uni together and just revently they celebrated their 30th anniversary. Really blessed couple.

The thing is all the good guys stay away from apps, saunas or whatever. That's the last thing on their minds.

[Guest Frank]

Gay relationships can last - it all depends how much the two partners want it. I know of a couple who met in their JC days. Even went to an overseas uni together and just revently they celebrated their 30th anniversary. Really blessed couple.

The thing is all the good guys stay away from apps, saunas or whatever. That's the last thing on their minds.

 

I cannot agree more with the last sentence. You dun find apples on durian trees.

 

The "good" family guys stay home with their loving partners, busy building a home and a life together. Sometimes even raising kids together. They dun come to forums to look for sleazy hookups.

 

But that's where the problem lies.

 

The majority of guys on gay forums, especially those with profiles and values vastly different from the so called "good guys', are often what the younger guys are first exposed to.

 

Then the younger guys come off thinking "true love doesn't exist in the gay circle" or "gay relationships dun last".

 

It's like a young straight guy being exposed only to prostitutes and thinking that hetero relationships are all about paid sex.

 

If we want a new generation of gays with a different mindset, we need the older guys to act as positive role models.

 

We need to move away from ghetto culture into broad daylight.

 

Then there is no need to ask how long gay relationships last.

[Guest Guest]

I cannot agree more with the last sentence. You dun find apples on durian trees.

The "good" family guys stay home with their loving partners, busy building a home and a life together. Sometimes even raising kids together. They dun come to forums to look for sleazy hookups.

But that's where the problem lies.

The majority of guys on gay forums, especially those with profiles and values vastly different from the so called "good guys', are often what the younger guys are first exposed to.

Then the younger guys come off thinking "true love doesn't exist in the gay circle" or "gay relationships dun last".

It's like a young straight guy being exposed only to prostitutes and thinking that hetero relationships are all about paid sex.

If we want a new generation of gays with a different mindset, we need the older guys to act as positive role models.

We need to move away from ghetto culture into broad daylight.

Then there is no need to ask how long gay relationships last.

You are right, my friend. But alas, I fear it may already be too late - just look at those Tumblr blogs and apps. All filled with sex-crazed, egoistic lustful youths who can only see skin-deep. (They are just like the sterotypical dumb-blondes) The "sex-n-go" concept has already become a prevailing culture, and the slightest attempt to advise these people results in lashback. Change is not going to be easy...

The state of our community. A reason why I worry 'bout my future.

[Guest Frank]

You are right, my friend. But alas, I fear it may already be too late - just look at those Tumblr blogs and apps. All filled with sex-crazed, egoistic lustful youths who can only see skin-deep. (They are just like the sterotypical dumb-blondes) The "sex-n-go" concept has already become a prevailing culture, and the slightest attempt to advise these people results in lashback. Change is not going to be easy...

The state of our community. A reason why I worry 'bout my future.

 

Let the youngsters meet our old gay guys who spent their youth chasing one cock and butt hole after another ... where are those old gays now?

 

There's only so long your youth can last. 

 

Only you alone can decide if you want a stable family life or a life of loneliness and regrets in your old age. 

 

Dun follow in my footsteps. I speak from personal experience. The pangs of regret excruciatingly painful. Especially in the dark of night when I lie alone in bed.

 

If only time will turn back ... my days of youth forever lost and I'm still lonely and alone. All the ONS but a fading memory ...

 

Community groups such as Ooga Chaga can reach out more to our younger ones. 

 

There's never too late. But it will take time.

[Friendly]

Thanks to all who have wrote here, i have learned somethings that i did not know and reading here have also enlighten me. I do take note on what i agreed upon the contribution made here.My bf and me has been living togather for almost 5 years now and i have to say we are happy and always work things out by talking and understanding what when wrong. We supports each other in time of needs. I would like to say those who are looking for a bf or already have one should read here to understand and learn how to keep a relationship. Good Luck

 

L. Lots

O. Of

V. Voluntary

E. Efforts

[Guest Guest]

I think the topic should be better worded as 'how long do romantic relationships last?".

 

What does it matter if it's gay or straight?  It's the people in it that matter.

 

So ask yourself ... are u the type to make a relationship last?

[Guest 72%dark]

The thing is all the good guys stay away from apps, saunas or whatever. That's the last thing on their minds.

With us gays, there is no pre-established societal structure aka norm to follow or to refer to. So they misuse this newfound freedom to use as an excuse for their selfish, lustful and destructive behaviour. Open relationships, polygamy, are terms commonly misused as an excuse for cheating and unfaithfulness. (Both partners should wholeheartedly agree to an open relationship before starting anything, instead of automatically assuming). This has led to a vicious cycle.

One thing I try to do is to simply just avoid things like Grindr. Always ask yourself: For them to be there in the first place, what kind of person does it make them?

Good people don't willingly go to Geylang to "just looking around" with the prostitutes, do they?

Wow, talk about casting the first stone. When we start labeling some as "good people" and imputing that others aren't is when we show ourselves to be moralistic, self-righteous and having an overly simplistic view of the world.

It is possible to value responsible conduct and stable, lasting and emotionally centred relationships without going to extremes and casting everything else that doesn't fit a narrow mould as depraved.

Longevity is not inherently beneficial, it's only as good as the purposes it serves. I've elsewhere opined that love requires a certain degree of sacrifice, so I certainly believe in the value of couples working through difficulties for the sake of a lasting relationship. But we cannot avoid the reality that sometimes things don't work out, or that such arrangements don't work best for everyone. In such cases there's no constructive purpose in stigmatizing the alternatives; all you're doing is feeding your own sense of righteousness at the expense of others.

Life-long monogamy has its advantages, but so do other forms of socio-sexual bonding. It's not inherently/objectively 'the best'; that's a judgment that arises from a specific value system, in this case one that has arisen only very recently in recorded human history (let alone in the longer history of our species) in certain cultures. [study some anthropology to find out about the alternatives.] As thinking beings, it's possible for us to subscribe to this value system and its preference for life-long monogamy without also condemning other arrangements. If it were a perfect system, perhaps there wouldn't be so many couples out there (straight or gay) struggling so hard.

Sex is not inherently evil. The hysteria evident in posts such as these seems to betray a fear or mistrust of any sex conducted outside of very strict parameters, and this is honestly a hallmark of a certain type of value system again. To look for sex is not necessarily a selfish, destructive or unfaithful act; there are conditions and circumstances to consider before we can make such a moral judgment. This doesn't mean we need to be cavalier about sex, particularly as it pertains to physical and mental health, but we can certainly do without the irrational hang-ups.

I used to wonder why some gay activists habored reservations about the gay marriage movement until I encountered views like these, then I realized that some people aren't interested in liberating gay people so they can live their lives as they best see fit; instead they're intent on importing a specific model of pair-bonding from heterosexuals and imposing it on everyone else, if not outright then by moral sanctimony.

If embracing a more inclusive (permissive?) and nuanced vision of what is possible or practical for a person's happiness makes me a "bad" person, then by all means pass me the pitchfork!

[teatree]

Just like a marathon, different people finished at different timings.  If you went passed 20, there is high chance you will reach 30; and if you can make it to 30, you will want to endure to complete the race.  Don't give up when things turned nasty along the way, especially when the relationship had come that far.

[loneglobe]

Gay relationships can last - it all depends how much the two partners want it. I know of a couple who met in their JC days. Even went to an overseas uni together and just revently they celebrated their 30th anniversary. Really blessed couple.

The thing is all the good guys stay away from apps, saunas or whatever. That's the last thing on their minds.

So where to find these good guys?

[leo yok loo]

How long can it last? My opinion is, gay or str8, it can last as long as you want it to be. Work towards it.

[Guest Guest]

We two players have never tried to be a fake str8 couple, lots of fun promiscuous sex for 35 yrs. Every day is an experience with each other and new friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[innocense]

It really depends on the individual, can be as short as a few days to as long as 20 years long and more.

 

I'm wondering whether the feeling of attraction and sex desire is still there when they are together for that long.

Edited June 10, 2015 by innocense

[IkuTube]

I'm wondering whether the feeling of attraction and sex desire is still there when they are together for that long.

 

"The feeling of attraction" will always stay.  It is "this feeling" that keeps the relationship going.  The feeling to make it better; the feeling to iron out differences; the feeling to care, to love and to accept idiosyncrasies.  It is a strong feeling of attraction to forget, forgive.  Above all, it is a feeling to attract understanding and acceptance.  J K Rowling said "understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery".

 

Sex, in all long term relationship, goes hand in hand with age.  As we grow old and our physical is no longer that robust (as compared to when we are younger), so is sex.  To expect the physical sex to stay energetic and constant all throughout the relationship is catastrophic.  Couples in the long term relationship are much orgasmic not in hot sex but in simple hugs, kisses and holding hands.  It is in the act of such simple 'sex acts' that livens the soul.

 

 

[Guest]

Not that long when sex turns sour

[teatree]

On ‎10‎/‎6‎/‎2015 at 0:55 AM, innocense said:

It really depends on the individual, can be as short as a few days to as long as 20 years long and more.

 

I'm wondering whether the feeling of attraction and sex desire is still there when they are together for that long.

 

The feeling should still be there if you try to maintain the physical attractiveness and not having too much sex that it become a chore.

[Guest]

It won't last the day without you LOL

[Guest]

16 hours ago, Guest said:

Not that long when sex turns sour

 

Yes if the relationship is based on sex alone.

[Guest Steven87]

20 hours ago, Guest said:

It won't last the day without you LOL

 

 So cheesy hehehe

[fab]

Length of relationship is regardless of orientations.

[Guest]

Gay relationship doesn't usually last long as it is based on physical attractions. Gays always look for someone younger and stronger. Cheating and crusing is very common.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Guest said:

Gay relationship doesn't usually last long as it is based on physical attractions. Gays always look for someone younger and stronger. Cheating and crusing is very common.

Sour grapes

[gummibear]

On 5/28/2015 at 4:40 AM, loneglobe said:

So where to find these good guys?

On their mother's laps?

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Guest said:

Gay relationship doesn't usually last long as it is based on physical attractions. Gays always look for someone younger and stronger. Cheating and crusing is very common.

 

It's a self fulfilling prophesy. If you think it is so, it will be so. So if you want a long relationship, run far far away from guys who think this way.

[Guest]

I am in a 12 years relationship now and though sex is only once or twice a week, it is the emotional and spiritual connections that sustain our relationship. We are about 15 years gap in age. He is younger than me and a lovely well mannered chub and myself an "old man" . I still keep fit by exercising often , careful with my diet ( though at times i just binge in a buffet spread). So it entails lots of give and take for no relationship is perfect.Ultimately it all depends on the maturity and visions of the individual couple to make it works. Anyway i am celebrating my 13th year anniversary in April soon. It will be a simple affair by having an intimate dinner somewhere and then sitting in the park to reflect about our lives. We dont ask for more.

[Guest Bern]

On 28/02/2016 at 1:12 AM, Guest said:

Gay relationship doesn't usually last long as it is based on physical attractions. Gays always look for someone younger and stronger. Cheating and crusing is very common.

 

Agree to this based on experience

[Guest Fatty]

It will last for 10 fucks 

[Guest Guest]

Some couples I  know who have been together for more than 15 years and above are sexless .

They have no more attractions for each other sexually but just for the companionship that's all.

They would seek sex outside of their ltr to compensate for that physical intimacy since both can't satisfy each other . 

[Ben S]

12 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

Some couples I  know who have been together for more than 15 years and above are sexless .

They have no more attractions for each other sexually but just for the companionship that's all.

They would seek sex outside of their ltr to compensate for that physical intimacy since both can't satisfy each other . 

I observe the same thing as mentioned above.

the couples still have emotional feelings with each other, but not sexually

 

I myself never been in relationship that long ... so, I don't know what will happen, but it's definitely a possibility

life isn't ideal ... so, I'm being realistic and open minded.

 

I've also seen a relationship which involve 3 guys in it ... most people think that's strange , I find that interesting.

It's hard enough to find 1 whom suitable/accept/tolerate and want to spend the rest of life with  ... and then 2 ?!

I would probably be ecstatic if that happens to me.

[qsefthu78]

It lasts as long as you want.

 

After many years, although many people deny it or don't want to talk about it, sex really becomes secondary compared to the emotional bond and affinity which both of you have built over the years. 

[Guest Gee]

Maybe a year if sex is constant.

[ArchDragon]

As long as there is commitment, it will last long