Will You Have A R/ship With A Married Man? + In Love With / Liked A Married Man (Compiled)

[Guest Guest]

It is definitely a fear of that experienced by Pater Tenebrarum that I made it my principle not to be involved with anyone who is attached.  It is not relevant whether they are (unhappily) married, in a relationship or in the verge of a separation.  So long they are attached, I keep my distance.

We married men are even more afraid of being blackmailed by ex-bf because we have more to lose. Things work both ways. All these anti-married statements equally apply to all gays too

[doncoin]

The single guy:

You choose to be involved with a family and you need to manage your expectations of the relationship. As an accomplice to his straight facade, you need to content yourself with being the 3rd or 4th or lower priority in his life. The only satisfaction you can have does not go beyond the confines of the tryst. Enjoy the limitations and everything will be well. If you are looking for more, it is not going to happen. Your needs will be met only the brief time you spend together. The rest of it will be spent alone yourself while he works on his other priorities. In other words, you are a little more than a fxxk buddy, and less than a bf.

If this is the best you think you can get out of life, so be it.

To the married/family man:

Come out of the closet already. Then there is no fear of being blackmailed or worse. Seriously I am empathetic but I also know that it is worse to carry on living a lie and maintaining that facade than to come out into the open and give the world your middle finger.

[Guest Guest]

To the married/family man:

Come out of the closet already. Then there is no fear of being blackmailed or worse. Seriously I am empathetic but I also know that it is worse to carry on living a lie and maintaining that facade than to come out into the open and give the world your middle finger.

How many gays here are out of the closet? Again, this "living a lie and maintaining that facade than to come out into the open and give the world your middle finger." again applies equally to most gays here. If they can do it, we can all do it together, one happy family. Pots and kettles all together.

[shockwave]

I do not wish to comment whether is it right or wrong to have a relationship with a married man; I only want to share my experience here.

A few years back, I met a guy. We had lots of topics to talk about and things went well until about a month later on one very night, in his vehicle, he revealed to me that he was married. He asked me if I was shocked and I pretended to be nonchalant but I was devastated. In our conversation, he revealed indirectly that his wife did not know that he was a gay (or maybe bi) until he got married for sometime. I was attached to him and told him that I like him but he told me a few times that I should not like him as gay to him is "hi and bye". "So why am I different?" I asked and he told me that he liked being with me because I am straight acting enough and being sincere (he said it, not me) .

We continued meeting each other on most of the weekdays and even up to 6 times a week. I would usually meet him after work and I paid for most of our dinner and entertainments.

Approximately 2 and a half month later, he being to take me for granted by hitting my head (he is taller than me) with his pouch when he felt like. I was into him so that I just took it naturally. We had sex sometimes and I still expressed my fond feeling for him; he told me not to like him but on the other hand, the actions he did to me was like giving me "chances".

He would called me through the phone on weekdays, even near midnight timing; he told me that he felt lonely because his wife did not want to be home early as she knew her husband was a gay. He also expressed to me that he did not like his job and stress was building up due to it. I tried to comfort him. At the later stage of our "one-sided relationship", he yelled to me over the phone due to the stress resulted from his work. He even said why should he call me everyday (but the fact is that he was the one who initiate the phone calls most of the time) and I was really annoying. My heart was shattered into pieces and the phone was hung up in an undesirable manner.

I was thrown into an abyss of depression and my parents noticed my change in attitude. I became more quiet. Well, life went on and the feeling for him faded as time passed. About one month or two later, he sms and called me, but I either did not pick up or ignore his sms. How ironic, I used to sms him when we were "together" but he ignore it most of the time.

In one of his message, he even said he likes me; without further consideration, I replied him coldly. Till recently, he gave up and I think he have accepted the fact that I have lost interest in him and he stopped calling and sms.

I remember clearly that I told him this, "if you don't treasure the people around you, be prepared to lost them".

Edited October 6, 2011 by shockwave

[doncoin]

How many gays here are out of the closet? Again, this "living a lie and maintaining that facade than to come out into the open and give the world your middle finger." again applies equally to most gays here. If they can do it, we can all do it together, one happy family. Pots and kettles all together.

Oh well then let's all stay closeted and whine "poor me..." and we can compare see who has suffered more, who has a worst life hiding the truth and exchange tips on how to maintain that straight facade.

[Guest Guest]

Reading Shockwave's life story, I have to fully agree that some married men are the most selfish creatures on earth. On one hand, he tells you not to love him and not to expect anything from him. On the other hand, he sexed you, he used you, he dumped his semen/sperm inside you ... and expect you to thank him for his "donation". I do not have any worst words to scold such men. Cause-and-effect, and they will need to pay for what they did one day.

[Guest david]

These so called married men are GAY men, for whatever SELFISH reasons they conned a WOMAN into marriage.

For goodness sake, of course they are SELFISH!!!

They are not even honest with themselves, their families, lie in the face of marriage- you think they'd be truthful to you?

Any man, whether straight or gay, once decided to form a family and bear children should focus their attention & energy on their family's happiness. You have your responsibilities, that's your so called REAL life.

[Guest Guest-Guest-Guest]

It seems that married man had the death sentence if they fool around with other woman or man. I believe those who condem the act are the single souls out there. You never been married and never understands what is going on. It is true that some married man are fxxking selfish but that never rule out those who are really responsible ones. Have you ever wonder why they are married in the first place, you can say they are selfish, but there are a lot of reasons for it which some had posted earlier. In this modern world you are spared for not being ridicule, suspect and infidelity if you are not married. You stand by your belief and shrugged off the notion of marriage if the subject broach up by giving many excuses which I believe being an Asian society, how many had told the ACTUAL reasons by saying "I do not like woman, I am gay". For those who are still in the closet and gave many lame excuses of why not married, what is the difference between you & those married man?

As I said earlier, it takes 2 hands to clap. What drove those married man to seek fun/comfort/understanding elsewhere? Is it the wife, the kids, the in-laws, the environment, the stressful work etc or just he need another avenue to release his stress/sperm or is he a highly sex overdrive looking for sex and fun? That only he who is married will know.

Lastly, as I am in the gay circuit, i believe love exists in a relationship with married man or gay man. But for how long? So please spare me your ethical belief that when you are truly in love, you will be with your partner till death do us part. is it TRUE LOVE or commitment or others reasons whatsoever for you to be with your partner? Life is short, enjoy while it lasts, so Tekongman, seek your own happiness and God bless you.

[Guest SeniorMan]

Agreed with Guest-Guest-Guest.

There's no clear cut answer to most questions.. Humans logic can be illogical to some too. Behind every happy families, theres bound to be some hidden dark sides as well..

Sometimes, we would question some reported news that certain high flyers, those highly respected, highly educated, rich and well-known ppl have foolishly commited certain wrong doings.. We would always questioned their supidity..

Same over this thread..behind every commited r/s or ONS etc..only the persons involved knows their intentions..so be more understanding..

[Guest imdivorce]

At last this tread had more footing or should i say, more mature plu openly voice their opinions. I strongly stand by guest-guest-guest and Seniorman.

There is no right or wrong for a gay to have a relationship with a married man and vice versa. Whatever the outcome of this relationship is the decision you had made whether you want to be involved with a married man. As the saying says, reap what you sow, you may experience a severe drought or a great bountiful harvest.

Now, i like to point out what Chelseasian had posted earlier, but before that I need to know is Chelseasian a New Yorker breed and born? Are you asian blood? If you can reply, then I will say my piece.

Thank you for this tread as the questions posted are truer to life.

[Chub71]

Hi All, its interesting reading all the comments here on married men. I'd like to say firstly I am a married man. Having only been around the gay community for less than 5 years, I've noticed it isn't easy to look for what you are looking for, married or single. Perhaps one word that sums up why it is so difficult...DISCRIMINATION. While the "world" around us discriminates us, we discriminate among ourselves.

That's all I want to say after reading 3 pages of reply.

[Guest Lesbian Gal]

I agree with Chub71 and those who gives wise remarks. It is already pathetic being a gay and after I read all the treads, I am (still) shocked that they are many people out there very narrow-minded and being selfish. The harsh remarks aimed at Tekongman is very naive. Through this tread, I also realise that many people belive in love fantasy or One to One relationship, but does it exists in our modern society where every turns, there is an opportunity for you to meet someone better? Grow up boys and stopped pretending that your are the Angel of Love. I have also read of Tekongman encounter with Ah Beng and finds it entertain and amuse and because of his fling with another man, he is condemned cos he suppose to be attached with the married man. For those who condemn his act, I have a question for you " If you are attached with someone, will you cheat on him/her during their absence?" I really admire you guys as there are lot of places to meet like-minded people. Why i am saying this because I am a lesbian and our places are limited.

[Guest Uncle]

These so called married men are GAY men, for whatever SELFISH reasons they conned a WOMAN into marriage. For goodness sake, of course they are SELFISH!!! They are not even honest with themselves, their families, lie in the face of marriage- you think they'd be truthful to you? Any man, whether straight or gay, once decided to form a family and bear children should focus their attention & energy on their family's happiness. You have your responsibilities, that's your so called REAL life.

Despite the very harsh words, I have to say that I cannot disagree with what is said. If you're gay, don't marry. If you want to get married, give up guys.

[Guest Guest]

Despite the very harsh words, I have to say that I cannot disagree with what is said. If you're gay, don't marry. If you want to get married, give up guys.

Yes. If u r straight, dun be gay(for a yr or just a few hours). Just like my friend who was born with a vagina & penis at birth. My friend got to make a choice and now my friend is a he.

[Guest Marad44]

...The harsh remarks aimed at Tekongman is very naive. Through this tread, I also realise that many people belive in love fantasy or One to One relationship, but does it exists in our modern society where every turns, there is an opportunity for you to meet someone better? Grow up boys and stopped pretending that your are the Angel of Love...

Well said Lesbian Gal. Tekongman came to this Forum for empathy and views from the community and got thrashed. No one is perfect & qualifies to sit on judgement throne & pass sentence. If I may quote the Biblical verse, 'Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged. Let Him Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone.'

Seeing the bashing Telongman got, others with challenges may fight shy of airing their story.

[tony_chaser70]

To tht lassie gal,I think we here are against Tekongmen for falling married men.u think nobody gt the rite to judge who relationship they want themselves to be in.if a married men want to be in a relation with a men by all mean.it no difference if he is married and with another women. It the same, and most straight men stray with another women. But wht irks us most is dun u find his story fishy, especially the one where the beng so call sodomize him.he shld nt post tht story, cause alot ppl symphatise with him, gave alot advise to him and all wasted.so he cheating on other symphathy for him.go read his story on the beng and pls dun tell me u dun find anything fishy. Pls

[Guest Lesbian Gal]

To CSI (Cock Sucking Investigator) tony_chaser70.

When Tekongman share his story, he did not bother whether he wants you to believe. He is merely sharing his encounter (whether his post is true or not in the other tread). And if I am not wrong, this tread "Will you have a relationship with a married man?", he is not asking for sympathy or advise. I think he wants to know how do people of the same kind react to this situation. I believe he has the answer to this situation prior posting this tread. If you feel that it is a waste of time, why bother to read & post. I am a full pledge out of the closet lesbian and I have many friends of your kind, I share this issue with them and my parents and we had a good discussion. What really irritate me is that why some of you (including CSI Tony) bother to post if you cannot see beyond yourself (you are so so so smart you know what i mean). You know, some of you guys really behave like B***hes and far worst than any girls i met and dated. By the way, I am butch who enjoy every minutes of it and good luck to you, sister, if you are annoyed. Ha Ha Ha..........

[Guest Super Lesbian]

I agree with Chub71 and those who gives wise remarks. It is already pathetic being a gay and after I read all the treads, I am (still) shocked that they are many people out there very narrow-minded and being selfish. The harsh remarks aimed at Tekongman is very naive. Through this tread, I also realise that many people belive in love fantasy or One to One relationship, but does it exists in our modern society where every turns, there is an opportunity for you to meet someone better? Grow up boys and stopped pretending that your are the Angel of Love. I have also read of Tekongman encounter with Ah Beng and finds it entertain and amuse and because of his fling with another man, he is condemned cos he suppose to be attached with the married man. For those who condemn his act, I have a question for you " If you are attached with someone, will you cheat on him/her during their absence?" I really admire you guys as there are lot of places to meet like-minded people. Why i am saying this because I am a lesbian and our places are limited.

To CSI (Cock Sucking Investigator) tony_chaser70.

When Tekongman share his story, he did not bother whether he wants you to believe. He is merely sharing his encounter (whether his post is true or not in the other tread). And if I am not wrong, this tread "Will you have a relationship with a married man?", he is not asking for sympathy or advise. I think he wants to know how do people of the same kind react to this situation. I believe he has the answer to this situation prior posting this tread. If you feel that it is a waste of time, why bother to read & post. I am a full pledge out of the closet lesbian and I have many friends of your kind, I share this issue with them and my parents and we had a good discussion. What really irritate me is that why some of you (including CSI Tony) bother to post if you cannot see beyond yourself (you are so so so smart you know what i mean). You know, some of you guys really behave like B***hes and far worst than any girls i met and dated. By the way, I am butch who enjoy every minutes of it and good luck to you, sister, if you are annoyed. Ha Ha Ha..........

It doesn't have awhile to suspect and Lesbian Gal and other guests who posted defending Tekongman, is no other then Tekongman himself.

Read his style of writing and expression with theirs and you will find they are almost written from the same person.

Because no one is so free to defend him, after the embarrassment he brought upon himself.

Being embarrassed from all the boos and the trashings he has been thrown and mocked at, he only can revert posting as several guests account to defend himself.

Until the coast is cleared then will he continue to return posting, or with another account.

What do the rest of you think ?

[tony_chaser70]

Am wondering why a butch bitch doing in a gay forum. Yuck , I can't imagine myself reading a lesbian forum.

[Guest Marad44]

This question is to those interested in married men. What is it in them that cranks your engine?

[Foreign Talent]

Dammit Pater, you got to be dammmm good in bed! How else all these guys go ballistic over you?

Please conduct a class on Mind Blowing Sex Techniques, and i will be the first to sign up!

Aiyah, it's more than just technique you know, you have got to start with a beautiful face. And Pater is lagi cantik. Very handsome indeed.

Even if an ugly guy is good in bed, nobody would wanna get into bed with him! Whereas with a good looking guy, even if he is crap in bed, I don't mind, let me do all the hard work whilst I admire your beautiful body and face :twisted:

:thumb:

[xiandarkthorne]

I guess for those into married men, some of the charm must lie in the "proven manliness" while for others, like me, who are not interested in commitment, the best part's probably got to be the No Strings Attached aspect of fun with them.

Personally, however, I have never and would never have anything to do with married men. I keep thinking of the poor cheated wife at home...and I'm not a homebreaker.

[suckling_pig]

This question is to those interested in married men. What is it in them that cranks your engine?

I prefer married men because I find them:

• Less sticky - no explantion needed
  
• More practical - less idealism with respect to romantic notions (largely received from hollywood)
  
• More understanding - because they have gone through their own struggles, they tend to be able to see a wider picture. And the time they can spend with you, and the personal connection with them become somewhat more meaningful (precious).
  

Edited October 9, 2011 by suckling_pig

[Tekongman]

It doesn't have awhile to suspect and Lesbian Gal and other guests who posted defending Tekongman, is no other then Tekongman himself. Read his style of writing and expression with theirs and you will find they are almost written from the same person. Because no one is so free to defend him, after the embarrassment he brought upon himself. Being embarrassed from all the boos and the trashings he has been thrown and mocked at, he only can revert posting as several guests account to defend himself. Until the coast is cleared then will he continue to return posting, or with another account. What do the rest of you think ?

Am wondering why a butch bitch doing in a gay forum. Yuck , I can't imagine myself reading a lesbian forum.

Firstly thank you everybody. This forum is for matured gay and Plus posted in this tread is not what it seems. I am keeping quiet about everything you guys/gals posted and I had said earlier, I will not want to escalate into a personal attack. It is not working. I am not EMBARRAESE at all, infact AMUSE. I don't even know you all. People keep doubting of my intention and actually what did I gain for doing it, score more hits so I could redeem a fake dildo to satisfy me? Super lesbian, you are right to doubt of others intention, but are they you? In fact I now even doubt those who posted here calling me names and attack me are the same person as well? Therefore, I am not putting up any post for neccessary remarks and only be an observer in this BW forum.

For tony chaser, what is in you behaving as such? Are you the martyr of the gay crusader? Channel your energy to the good use in this gay community in public and not hiding in this forum.

For the rest of you, please stop adding to this post. There are some immature gays out there who stills sucking a pacifier.

Well said Lesbian Gal. Tekongman came to this Forum for empathy and views from the community and got thrashed. No one is perfect & qualifies to sit on judgement throne & pass sentence. If I may quote the Biblical verse, 'Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged. Let Him Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone.' Seeing the bashing Telongman got, others with challenges may fight shy of airing their story.

I leave you guys/gals on the above quote by Marad44.

Thank you.

Tekongman

[Guest Guest]

It doesn't have awhile to suspect and Lesbian Gal and other guests who posted defending Tekongman, is no other then Tekongman himself.

Read his style of writing and expression with theirs and you will find they are almost written from the same person.

Because no one is so free to defend him, after the embarrassment he brought upon himself.

Being embarrassed from all the boos and the trashings he has been thrown and mocked at, he only can revert posting as several guests account to defend himself.

Until the coast is cleared then will he continue to return posting, or with another account.

What do the rest of you think ?

Dun scare me lah! u mean tekong man got super power to morph into a lesbian, too?

I not very smart so dare not show off. But Tekongman not very intelligent, too but he think he got PHD from University of Tanjong Pinang. So tragic. No supporter so pretend to be one. Very 'xia sway', u know.

Just saw poor Shania Twain on OPRAH. Shania wrote a letter to the mistress who stole her husband. She told the bitch(pardon my own description) to 'FIND LOVE ELSEWHERE' & 'LEAVE THEM ALONE'.

Married men like to have more than one gay mistress. Some have MANY GAY LOBANGS, one in each country they frequently visit on their biz trip.

[Guest Guest]

To tht lassie gal,I think we here are against Tekongmen for falling married men.u think nobody gt the rite to judge who relationship they want themselves to be in.if a married men want to be in a relation with a men by all mean.it no difference if he is married and with another women. It the same, and most straight men stray with another women. But wht irks us most is dun u find his story fishy, especially the one where the beng so call sodomize him.he shld nt post tht story, cause alot ppl symphatise with him, gave alot advise to him and all wasted.so he cheating on other symphathy for him.go read his story on the beng and pls dun tell me u dun find anything fishy. Pls

It's not abt Judgement but HONESTY. Just saw the movie 'WHITE SANKE' and I think Tekongman should do a better job than the actress Wang Sheng Yi especially in the last 5 mins. Dun worry, I hope to strike 1st prize Big Sweep and finance the sequel

with Tekongman as the lead actress and Jet Li(Singaporean & MARRIED, WOW!) as the main character. Story goes like this:

After many reincarnations, Tekongman becomes a man and tries to seduce a married man in Chinatown, Singapore. Unsucessful, he trails the married man to various saunas in Asia, like 24Kaikan Ueno, Tokyo, Rainbow In HK & Babylon in BK.

The moral of the story is to teach the world to be less judgemental on men having gay/straight extramarital affairs and their mistress. Wives should also be more compassionate and forgiving to their husbands for fxxking behind their back and luv the cheaters unconditionally. If we want to blame, blame it on KARMA. NO RIGHT OR WRONG, JUST DO AS ONE PLEASE even it involves DECEPTION & LIES. MY PLEASURE COMES 1ST, YOUR PAIN LAST. LOVE FEARLESSLY & WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.

Sure win best picture for 2012 Oscar because of the film's good KARMA - RECONCILIATING THE CHEATING HUSAND, THE GAY MISTRESS & THE SUFFERING WIFE & CHILDREN. SO TOUCHING

Incidentally, the name of the sequel is called 'WHITE SLUT'.

[GachiMuchi]

Ha! Actually I am part of a team working on a sex guide for gay men. It is a work in progress with several other people whom you may know. No joke. Heh!

Hmm, How come no one contact me to be in the panel on how to have great sex in bed?

[allmyimages2020]

I know of some guys like to fxxk young dads... that seems to be a turn on! I avoid married men as much as possible ... Once, may years ago, when I was staying on my own in an first floor apartment in Waring Park, I had a couple of sex sessions with this very attractive young man who loved to be fxxked. One day, I had breakfast at Bedok and a young couple with a small kid walked up and sat at the table next to me. I looked up and saw that that was the young man I had fxxked before! He saw me too, smiled and introduced me to his wife as his friend. I was so embarrassed and quickly finish my food and rushed off. From then on, I avoided his calls until a couple of weeks later I found him waiting for me outside my place! He was really upset that I had "discriminated" against him for being a married man! I continue to have great sex having sex with him until I met my bf and then I told him that it's over. I met him socially a couple of times over the next two decades and he was still very very attractive and still asking me if I want to have ONS with him. Sorely tempted but NO!.

[Guest kalanguni]

I know of some guys like to fxxk young dads... that seems to be a turn on! I avoid married men as much as possible ... Once, may years ago, when I was staying on my own in an first floor apartment in Waring Park, I had a couple of sex sessions with this very attractive young man who loved to be fxxked. One day, I had breakfast at Bedok and a young couple with a small kid walked up and sat at the table next to me. I looked up and saw that that was the young man I had fxxked before! He saw me too, smiled and introduced me to his wife as his friend. I was so embarrassed and quickly finish my food and rushed off. From then on, I avoided his calls until a couple of weeks later I found him waiting for me outside my place! He was really upset that I had "discriminated" against him for being a married man! I continue to have great sex having sex with him until I met my bf and then I told him that it's over. I met him socially a couple of times over the next two decades and he was still very very attractive and still asking me if I want to have ONS with him. Sorely tempted but NO!.

Pass him over to me ...

[Guest Marad44]

...Bedok... young couple with a small kid... sex with him until I met my bf... Sorely tempted but NO!

Greetings allmyimages2020. This is not a flaming comment but a curious question: While intimacy with a married man was OK but it is a no no when when you have a BF. Isn't this applying double standards or you have a different explanation? Regards.

[Officeboy]

@Marad44 he would be cheating on his bf, if play with the married man, not double standards just that 立场 has changed

[Guest Guest]

Greetings allmyimages2020. This is not a flaming comment but a curious question: While intimacy with a married man was OK but it is a no no when when you have a BF. Isn't this applying double standards or you have a different explanation? Regards.

Aiyoh, now the world operates om triple or multi standards. Just look at Hollywood, cheating now a trend.

If u dun cheat, u r out.

Who cares abt values & principle. U think ETs also cheat on each other? World coming to an end lor ;(

[Guest GEE]

its always not about fulfilling any promise to each other if u like a married man, when u like u jus like, but i do agree u must always know the boundaries, nvr nvr cross that line n bring "harm" to the man u like....the relationship can still b kept discreet if you handle it well....its very painful to love a married man.....if there is one for me to love, i would make him very happy n always do what he says n like...to love is to give...i hope i can meet someone who is married for me to give.....i m still waiting.....

[FateEva]

Answer is NO... Same like the others, wife hire private investigator, found out that husband is gay...

What will happen is.

1. Wife feel lost of pride, depression that he sleep with a gay for so long...

2. What happen if child find out?? That their father is gay?? Will sure ruin their future or so..

Edited October 14, 2011 by FateEva

[allmyimages2020]

Greetings allmyimages2020. This is not a flaming comment but a curious question: While intimacy with a married man was OK but it is a no no when when you have a BF. Isn't this applying double standards or you have a different explanation? Regards.

He was the only married I was ever with and I guess lust overcame senses. When I met my bf, I knew that was over!

[doncoin]

Now, i like to point out what Chelseasian had posted earlier, but before that I need to know is Chelseasian a New Yorker breed and born? Are you asian blood? If you can reply, then I will say my piece.

Thank you for this tread as the questions posted are truer to life.

I am a Singaporean. Born and raised but based in NYC. 100% Asian. Sorry for slow response. Just noticed this posting.

Anyway, my group of friends and I are having brunch 2 weeks ago and we brought up this topic. In NYC it is fairly common to see postings on Craigslist or Grindr or Manhunt etc from married men wanting to blow some steam off in the city before taking the train home to the suburbs to be with their wife and kids. Especially after 7pm you will be amazed sometimes by the number of postings for a quickie at the office. So a few of my friends have apparently responded to these ads. One of them even had a regular thing for a while with this guy who lives in Stamford, CT. Some banker guy. At the end of it, it takes 2 hands to claps. my friend knew what he was getting into and so does the guy. The married guy needs to maintain the facade not so much for the wife and kids but more for his job. He works in a very conservative bank which is ironic because not too long ago there was a sex scandal involving strippers with another senior member. My friend, is smart enough to know that this is just sex. Granted the banker guy will book fancy hotel suites when he tells his wife that he has to work on the weekends in the city, and most of it is spent shagging up my friend. We are certain that the wife suspects something but she is an adult and like every WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) trophy stepford wife, she managed it.

I am always fascinated somewhat by the dynamics of such marriages. My friend's banker friend showers the wife with expensive gifts etc. she in turn pretends nothing happens even though she may suspect. As long as she turns a blind eye, she gets the good life. My friend also enjoys the advantages of bonking a wealthy guy. He knows the limitations and the guy does take him out shopping and fancy dinners every so often but he knows it is what it is. The banker will never leave the wife even if he falls in love with another man, well maybe after he retires from banking.

So I don't think getting involved with a married man is a bad thing as long as you know what you are getting into and don't whine about the limitations. Be realistic about your expectations and have fun.

Edited October 18, 2011 by chelseasian

[Guest shenderz]

Well said. It's only when people start to develop expectations and attachments tat troubles begin.

[cibeis]

Good question! Let me answer fron the view of a married man. I'm bi, married and for more than 40 years a devoted and experienced bottom slut! I can't have an open gay relationship for obvious reasons. I notice that so many specially young gays and bi's are turned on by married men. After making love they want to know whether i still have sex with my wife, etc. I think it's an "affair" thing that drives so many sisters to have us, to have a man that is committed to someone else. Nevertheless, I have long since come to the understanding that "bi" means nothing else than being gay at the right moment. That's what i am!

[patisoy]

Some PLU's have fantasies/fetish for "father" figures. The more kids that the married man has, the more he exudes the "fatherly" aroma during sex. That's what I find so sexually stimulating! :-)

[doncoin]

The way i look at it is the emotional unavailability that comes with being with a married man. Just go through some of the postings I have made about being with married men and you'll see what I mean.

[GachiMuchi]

I prefer married men because I find them:

• Less sticky - no explantion needed

• More practical - less idealism with respect to romantic notions (largely received from hollywood)

• More understanding - because they have gone through their own struggles, they tend to be able to see a wider picture. And the time they can spend with you, and the personal connection with them become somewhat more meaningful (precious).

This would also be TRUE?

I prefer ATTACHED gay men because I find them:

• Less sticky - no explantion needed

• More practical - less idealism with respect to romantic notions (largely received from hollywood)

• More understanding - because they have gone through their own struggles, they tend to be able to see a wider picture. And the time they can spend with you, and the personal connection with them become somewhat more meaningful (precious).

[Guest Guest]

This would also be TRUE?

I prefer ATTACHED gay men because I find them:

• Less sticky - no explantion needed

• More practical - less idealism with respect to romantic notions (largely received from hollywood)

• More understanding - because they have gone through their own struggles, they tend to be able to see a wider picture. And the time they can spend with you, and the personal connection with them become somewhat more meaningful (precious).

Generally speaking but not for ALL married men,we are less sticky but more devoted.

we are more practical because we know have so much responsibilities to bear, no time to chase pipe dreams anymore. A good man is hard to find, no need for 6 packs or handsome face. An attached gay is still chasing a better man or better sex when the man he has should be his chosen already.

But some gays take advantage of our kindness.

we are more understanding because you will be the chosen number 1 in our heart though you are not legally ours. The legal one is not our chosen one. Unlike to a gay in relationship, you are only his number 2 and a spare tire.

[Jaded]

Generally speaking but not for ALL married men,we are less sticky but more devoted. we are more practical because we know have so much responsibilities to bear, no time to chase pipe dreams anymore. A good man is hard to find, no need for 6 packs or handsome face. An attached gay is still chasing a better man or better sex when the man he has should be his chosen already. But some gays take advantage of our kindness. we are more understanding because you will be the chosen number 1 in our heart though you are not legally ours. The legal one is not our chosen one. Unlike to a gay in relationship, you are only his number 2 and a spare tire.

I beg to differ very much.

If you're SO devoted like you claim, you should be devoted to the choices YOU made - i.e. your wife and kids. But if your gay regular is really your No.1, then you shouldn't hide him like hiding a criminal. So much for devotion. Don't talk like you're giving you're all, because you're clearly not.

And how can you say that people in a gay relationship are only number 2 for each other? That statement is stereotypical on so many levels.

[Guest Marad44]

... The more kids that the married man has, the more he exudes the "fatherly" aroma during sex...

Interesting Algebraic angle; never heard this before.

[geronimo]

Interesting Algebraic angle; never heard this before.

I believe patisoy was referring to the derivative of the free elective affinity equation which works out to "Mx + Fy ≡ MxFy + Cx = Fa1²" with sequence 1,2,3... ad infinitum".

My own theory is that wives expect their partners to make love to them, not just have sex.

Perhaps PLUs seek the same treatment from married men

[Guest Visitor]

I have been attached with male partner for many years and till our relationship has reached a plateau, i started to have a buddy to supplement my sexual needs.

The funny thing is, I always have better luck with married man to be my buddy, average duration of the simple relationship lasts averagely 1-2 years. I agree that married man is more desirable (in my case) because they are less demanding, more accommodating and usually less of a nuisance. They know the unwritten rules and play by it. I also feel that somewhat, their family man role makes them emerge more manly and appear more responsible, which are apparently "virtues" of a man. Of course, some may say these are deceptions, and the fact they do things behind their wives is already something irresponsible.

I don't judge, and i think everyone is responsible for their own actions. As long as i stick to the rules and don't cross the line, their families arr fir them to manage. By and large, I do not think any married man is trying to look for another relationship to replace their main one. It is afterall something they seek, to satisfy another part of their lives.

But i also want to share here, that I was so pressurized by one of them whom was really domineering.

I guess there is no one right formula for any relationship.

[Guest lover of married men]

I prefer married men because I find them:

• Less sticky - no explantion needed

• More practical - less idealism with respect to romantic notions (largely received from hollywood)

• More understanding - because they have gone through their own struggles, they tend to be able to see a wider picture. And the time they can spend with you, and the personal connection with them become somewhat more meaningful (precious).

Totally Agree with all of the above... I am having this relationship with a married man for the past 2 years and I still love him till this day... The feeling is mutual, however, it is more difficult for him to express his love more opening to me due to his obligation.

To me.. if you are willing to accept that your partner is a married man, so you have to abide to the rule of the game. He cannot and will not be with you 24x7. But whenever we meet every week.. the affection and sex is HOT HOT HOT!

[doncoin]

I always think that if I am ever involved with a married man, at some point, I would want him to get a divorce if the relationship gets serious enough. The reason being I feel we both should not have to settle for anything less if we both make each other happy. Life is too short to be altruistic and pine wistfully by the window. At the end, you've got to realise that there is no award for self-sacrificing nor acknowledgement.

You've got to understand and know that you deserve happiness as much as him, and/or his family. By being willing to accept less you are doing yourself a disservice. Why should you deserve less happiness so that his family and him can be happier? It may seem very selfish, but how can anyone judge and condemn for standing up to your right to be happy?

So, for me the attraction to a guy who is married, be it to a man or a woman, the attraction would be just sex. His marital status is not even an issue.

[Guest Marad44]

..affinity equation "Mx + Fy ≡ MxFy + Cx = Fa1²" with sequence 1,2,3... ad infinitum". - treatment from married men...

Gero, you amaze! My search for the formula of bi-love is over!

[Guest Marad44]

... I would want him to get a divorce... the attraction would be just sex. His marital status is not even an issue...

Interesting, chelseasian but may I ask, If the attraction be just sex, why the need for divorce?