Male Body Dysmorphia / Muscle Dysmorphia (compiled)

[Closeted_jock]

I had childhood obesity and have managed to shed the weight 6 years ago.

However, that fat boy in me is still haunting till today.

Some research done and I found out that I might have body image issues (body dysmorphia to be exact).

In my case,I workout except ssively,not knowing how skinny or fat I look as I do not always see what the mirror shows. I do managed to feel good on some days, but when it hits me, I have extreme mood swings.

It is noted that the male population is beginning to fall into this syndrome. Anybody with the same issues as I have, and how to cope with the relasps?

[SeannyShortcake]

All the time actually.

 

Learn to accept and love your current body and stop taking the image of ripped and buff physiques from media as the goal you're wanting to reach.

 

Associate yourself with people who don't just worry if they'll still fit into their skinnies and skipping meals just to lose weight but still wanna keep healthy and happy.

[Butterscotch]

I read this piece previously: http://bit.ly/1zvTULA

 

Do you identify with any of it? 

[befit]

Every day, every second, I am self-aware.

 

I try to take it positively, take it as a motivation to be a better self.

[Guest Guest]

some called it a fat boy syndrome.

 

ppl who used to be overweight or unhappy w their weight before and managed to trim weight will put effort in working out as much as long as they have the time.

[GachiMuchi]

Gym, eat, repeat: the shocking rise of muscle dysmorphia

 ‘But even if they eventually achieve that physique, it is not enough ...’ Photograph: Posed by model/Alamy

 

 

The idealised male body has become bigger, bulkier and harder to achieve. So what drives a generation of young men to the all-consuming, often dangerous pursuit of perfection?

It is difficult for Miles to pinpoint the moment his muscle dysmorphia started. It was just always there, a background hum. “As far back as I can remember, I wanted a better-looking body,” says the 35-year-old US soldier, now stationed in Mons, Belgium. When he was 13, Miles spent a summer cutting grass to save up for a secondhand Soloflex exercise machine. The machine cost $1,000 (£800), but as Miles was too young to join a gym, it was worth the expense. With the help of the Soloflex, Miles started weight training and never looked back.

When he returned from a posting to Afghanistan at 24, things spiralled. He began obsessively working out and regimenting his meals. “I went all in ... it was full, hardcore dedication to the lifestyle.” Miles set his watch to beep every three hours, to remind him to eat. If it beeped when he was driving, he would pull over. Slowly, he whittled his body into shape. His muscles became striated, every fibre visible. Not big enough. At 95kg (210lbs) and 1.8 metres (6ft 2in), Miles wanted to be more muscular; leaner. He lost 22kg and started competing in amateur bodybuilding competitions. There was virtually no fat on him. “You pinch your skin and it just stays pinched.” His girlfriend left him. “She began to realise that my body dysmorphia was like dating another person.” The pursuit of muscularity took over his life. “I just thought, I am so lean, and shredded, and veiny, and masculine – I don’t ever want to go back to how I was before.”

Yet by 33, single again – the dysmorphia had claimed yet another relationship – it had all become too much and he was in a dark place. “I did not enjoy life in any way, shape or form.” All day long, he would starve himself, struggle through punishing workouts, go home and binge-eat before throwing it all up. One evening, waiting in line at the burger chain In-N-Out for more food to purge, Miles finally decided enough was enough. “I woke up so happy the next day, knowing it was over.”

A subset of body dysmorphic disorder, individuals with muscle dysmorphia feel they need to become bigger or more muscular, regardless of their size. Sometimes referred to as “bigorexia”, it typically affects men. About 30% of people with muscle dysmorphia will also have a medically diagnosable eating disorder – although as you need to be in calorie deficit to be diagnosed with an eating disorder, many men with the condition won’t meet the clinical threshold, despite following extremely restrictive diets. Because men with muscle dysmorphia rarely seek treatment, estimating its prevalence in the general population is hard, but it is believed that about 10-12% of professional male weightlifters meet the criteria.

And muscle dysmorphia may be on the rise. A study published in June found that 22% of men aged 18-24 reported muscularity-oriented disordered eating. “The drive for a bigger, more muscular body is becoming very prevalent,” says the lead researcher Dr Jason Nagata of the University of California, San Francisco. Not everyone who benches 180kg has muscle dysmorphia. It is when working out takes over your life, occluding all else – work, family, friends – that you have a problem. “Their entire day is spent at the gym trying to bulk up,” says Nagata. “They may also be taking illicit supplements like steroids.”

Play Video

7:51

 Steroids, syringes and stigma: the quest for the perfect male six-pack - video

What drives a generation of young men to slavishly pursue this physical ideal? “Over the past decades, the idealised male body image has got bigger and bulkier,” says Nagata.

This body type even pressed its way into our children’s bedrooms: studies show that action figures have become brawnier over the past 25 years.

This wasn’t always the case. “In the 70s, we saw very slim, almost androgynous men, like Mick Jagger and David Bowie ... to be muscular was to be defined as to be militaristic, at a time when, in the US, there were protests against the Vietnam war,” says Dr Roberto Olivardia of Harvard Medical School, an expert in male body image. “So that build was really frowned on and rejected by youth culture.

protests against the Vietnam war,” says Dr Roberto Olivardia of Harvard Medical School, an expert in male body image. “So that build was really frowned on and rejected by youth culture.

“But then the 80s came about, with figures like Ronald Reagan, who was pro-military, and men like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone.” This ideal male – hyper-masculine, militaristic, strong above all else – was exported globally through films such as First Blood (1982), Predator (1987) and The Terminator (1984). WWE wrestling was founded in 1980, and the likes of Hulk Hogan became celebrities. In the late 90s, a leaner but still very muscular aesthetic – popularised by Brad Pitt in the movie Fight Club – became fashionable.

Today’s muscle men stare down at us from the billboards of superhero films featuring stars such as Chris Hemsworth or Jason Momoa, the latter only last week body-shamed online after photographs emerged of him enjoying himself on holiday in fractionally less-than-superhero condition. On the small screen, the current crop of Love Island contestants mug for the cameras in tiny swimming trunks, all the better to display their perfect six-packs.

However, just as fashion magazines don’t cause anorexia, but contribute to a toxic environment in which extreme thinness is celebrated, Hulk Hogan, Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson and Chris Hemsworth are not to be blamed for the disordered behaviours sweeping our gyms. According to the NHS, we do not yet know what causes body dysmorphia disorders but genetics, a chemical imbalance in the brain or a traumatic experience in your past may play a part. You are also more likely to develop it if you were bullied or abused as a child, something student Nathaniel Shaw knows well. The 28-year-old was bullied at secondary school – they called him a Borrower, on account of his slender frame.

 

“I was always the small kid in the corner that no one wanted to speak to.” Social acceptance came one squat press at a time. “From where I’m from in Nottingham, because it’s a very rough place, you’re training to protect yourself. The bigger guys are the serious people that no one wants to mess with. That was the main thing at the start – get big and be taken seriously.”

When Shaw went to college at age 17, he had a plan: work out all winter and reveal his buff body come summer. But when he took off his T-shirt playing football one afternoon, a girl said that Shaw “had no chest”. He instantly put his top back on. “I still wasn’t good enough.” The unkind comment laid waste to Shaw’s fragile self-esteem; he walked away from the wreckage determined to become even more shredded.

Shaw’s life became: the gym, home to eat enormous portions of tuna, pasta and cheese, move as little as possible to conserve energy and repeat. Shaw detached from the contours of normal life. He stayed in bed longer, later and missed exams. He was depressed. “The pursuit of this muscular ideal takes over people’s lives,” explains Nagata. “They become obsessed with it. They can’t function in their daily life outside of pursuing this ideal and it can lead to depression, missing school or work, and losing their ability to do basic living tasks.”

To an observer, Shaw – who weighed 80kg at 1.7 metres – was tank-like. But that wasn’t how he saw himself. “I would be in the gym and say: ‘I look like shit.’ Everyone would be like: ‘No you don’t, you’re huge, I wish I could look like that.’” Muscle dysmorphia is a disease of perception. Although its sufferers live in the material world – a place of grunting exertion and weighted bags and scoopable protein powders – they spend most of their time in an imagined reality, where they are incalculably huge. Their biceps are swollen watermelons; each muscle as finely striated as the delicate contours of a seashell.

But even if they eventually achieve that physique, it is not enough. As soon as one muscular ideal is achieved, a new goal appears. “There’s a saying: ‘Once you step into a gym, you’re forever small,’” says 27-year-old Rich Selby, an amateur bodybuilder from Cardiff. Miles agrees. “Every muscle could be bigger. I could be leaner. You look at yourself and feel like everything is small and weak. I have no chest muscles; I have no arm muscles ... you’re judging yourself against an impossible standard.”

Social media reflects this standard back at you. “You’re being sold a false reality,” says Miles. “I can get into really good shape, right before I’m doing a bodybuilding competition, and use lighting and angles and filters to make my physique look even crazier than it already is, and save a bunch of pictures and upload them to make it seem that I always look like that, all year round.”

Some turn to illegal substances to attain this ideal. Tony, 23, works for a pharmaceutical distributor in Dallas. He started taking illegal performance-enhancing drugs, including testosterone, equipoise and nandrolone, two years ago. The drugs created a dangerous feedback loop: the more he injected, the more his body changed and the more he took. “People are like: ‘Wow, that guy’s a tank.’ They have more respect for you ... I thought, heck yeah, I’m going to take more so I can get even bigger.”

It is a common experience: muscle dysmorphia can be fuelled by the positive reinforcement men receive from other men in the gym. “When you’re large, you get a lot of respect,” Selby confirms. Men come up to him and ask how much he can bench. Sometimes they try to start fights. “That’s why people become addicted. They’re insecure, so they need confirmation from other people.” Selby self-identifies as having muscle dysmorphia, but believes that he has it under control, because he has good self-esteem.

Up close, you can see the havoc muscle dysmorphia wreaks. “Your interpersonal relationships fall apart – but you are so caught up in the endorphin rush of affirmation from your gym buddies, you barely notice,” says Miles. “You’re kind of an asshole. You don’t realise it ... you just become this all-around grouch. It consumes not only all of your time and focus, but also the human part of you.” It’s also a lonely existence. All your time is spent preparing protein-rich food, but because you are over-exercising, you are often “hungry, and cranky, and don’t sleep well”.

Among the young men Nagata surveyed, 2.8% had used illegal steroids, and it is estimated that up to 1 million Brits take performance-enhancing drugs.“Steroids can lead to heart disease, kidney problems and liver damage,” says Nagata. There are also mental health risks. “People may have extreme irritability, aggression, paranoia and can be violent.”

Tony was one young man who used drugs to bulk up. He knew what he was doing was dangerous: he would even donate blood to get his blood pressure down. “I just genuinely didn’t care.” As he cycled on and off drugs, he experienced dramatic mood swings. He got fired from his job at a hardware store for screaming at a coworker in the break room. Eventually, his mental health deteriorated so much that he came off all the drugs in May last year.

 

‘Every muscle could be bigger. I could be leaner. I have no chest muscles; I have no arm muscles ... you’re judging yourself against an impossible standard.’ Photograph: Posed by model/Getty/iStockphoto

What makes someone play Russian roulette with a steroid-filled syringe? Selby thinks people are driven to desperate measures because they cannot disassociate who they are from how they look.

 

It’s an obsession that can prove fatal. Freddie Dibben, 28, died in March 2017 after his heart became enlarged by the stimulant Clenbuterol. His father Clifford, 69, found him. “The hardest part was going back through to the kitchen and telling his mum what I found. It’ll never go away.” Like Tony, Freddie experienced mood swings. “He would snap at you,” Clifford says, recalling an incident where Freddie was “stroppy” with him as they tinkered with his car. He put the moodiness down to work stress – Freddie had been pulling a lot of night shifts at Wilton carpet factory, where colleagues referred to him as a “forklift”, on account of how much he could carry.

 

But Clifford felt blessed to have a health-conscious son; he didn’t see anything to be alarmed about. A keen gym-goer, Freddie even gave up smoking at his parents’ request. “He used to cook all his own food! He’d cook a meal before he went to work ... he had two sets of scales, and he weighed all his vegetables, everything. He even kept notes of what he was eating and what he was doing.” Clifford laughs, bitterly. “Except for the bloody drugs.”

 

And that is one of the issues of muscle dysmorphia – you can hide in plain sight. A pair of weighing scales in the kitchen; tupperware boxes of chicken and broccoli in your backpack. Most people view these as harmless, if idiosyncratic, behaviours. And when you look like you are hewn out of marble, it is hard to consider anything is amiss. It is only when you step past the facade that you realise these statue-like men are slowly destroying themselves.

 

It is a silent epidemic – Olivardia estimates as many as 10% of men working out in gyms may be suffering, but never seek help. Lately, Tony has started taking illegal substances again, insisting “it can be done safely”. Clifford still has Freddie’s weighing scales in the kitchen. Looking at them, he would probably disagree.

 

•Some of the names in the piece have been changed

 

Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 18, 2019 by GachiMuchi

[Cernunnos]

If one looks at the reason there are lots of muscle dysmorphia cases, you can first start from the money trail.

 

The "Supplements, Drugs and Fitness" industry are a multi-millions or even billions of USD$ per year of income and this industry has to make money from somewhere.

 

What better why then to sign deals with the mass media including cinema and films to alter the perceptions of the entire world with millions of USD$ spent on marketing.

 

You can see tonnes of "Fit Expo" and "Fitness" columns in newspaper and magazines. We do not need to look too far and we can easily see why the rise of muscle dysmorphia is growing at an astonishing rate.

 

Since there is so much at stake for "The Industry" to profit off, they are damn well doing very well at their marketing campaigns and one evidence is the rise of "Supplements" in the market and the profit margin they make.

 

All the above creates the circumstance where the consumers becomes disillusioned of the proper expectations of how much progress that can naturally occur and it creates a desire to be "Stronger, Better and Faster" which eventually leads to illegal substance abuses and stress.

 

The antidote would be to recognize the limitations of the human progress and the negative circumstances and side effects but that would be pretty much a hard to win uphill battle because "The Industry" has already pumped millions and billions of USD$ at their disposal for ensuring their business continuity ... think of the Hollywood superheroes and movies  or the Mr. Olympia competitions  and you will start to see how well funded "The Industry" is and the excellent level of marketing they have achieved.

[Steve5380]

There is a teaching to extract from these articles:  MODERATION.

 

Champions don't have moderation.  Although some who are born with a gift can be immoderate without giving up much of life,  many are not individuals one should envy.

 

For us men there are good reasons to be attracted to muscle dysmorphia:  physical protection against bullies and against assault.  And to build a strong body is very positive.

 

But at some point we can draw a limit and instead of building more muscle we can be smart and change to study and practice a MARTIAL ART.  And Increasing muscle DOES NOT increase beauty indefinitely.  Instead, people who are naturally small and those of us who are old we can learn the specific techniques to prevail in physical confrontations.

[Guest Fit Uncle]

Look up the internet and you see praises for the guy on the right but jeers for the poor guy on the left. Both are middle aged men yet the contrast is like day and night.

 

The comments are not even from gays. The gays would be even more shallow and bitchy. Unless you're not in the gay scene, else you will face this whether you like it or not. That's why some men go to the extreme to get praises on ig or Twitter or saunas or even here posting their pics. 

 

The :heart , likes or love voting on social media push this to extremes as they'll do more and more to get more and more :likes. The dopamine rush from the :likes can be addictive. I know because of the lechy wolf whistles I get in saunas or been chased on the gay apps. We humans are social animals after all.

[Guest Hunk]

5 hours ago, Guest Fit Uncle said:

Look up the internet and you see praises for the guy on the right but jeers for the poor guy on the left. Both are middle aged men yet the contrast is like day and night.

 

The comments are not even from gays. The gays would be even more shallow and bitchy. Unless you're not in the gay scene, else you will face this whether you like it or not. That's why some men go to the extreme to get praises on ig or Twitter or saunas or even here posting their pics. 

 

The :heart , likes or love voting on social media push this to extremes as they'll do more and more to get more and more :likes. The dopamine rush from the :likes can be addictive. I know because of the lechy wolf whistles I get in saunas or been chased on the gay apps. We humans are social animals after all.

 

Yuck the left guy disgusts me! What a fucking fat pig!

 

As long as you don't get addicted and turn to the wrong direction(steroids), embrace your masculinity and work that body! You will gain 100% confidence of yourself once the abs and pecs shows. Fuck those lazy guniangs who don't lift! 

[LeanMature]

It should be gym, eat, shit, sleep and repeat. Lol.

[Guest Guest]

https://sg.style.yahoo.com/male-body-dysmorphia-modern-epidemic-063000906.html

 

This article shows the worsening efforts of male body dysmorphia and in truth, our community is guilty of it. How often do we reject guys because they don't look the way we want them to look and how often do we judge ourselves. 

[Thatguy642]

I do suffer from this quite a lot, having been on both sides of the coin. Every single day I feel insecure about my body, feeling too thin or too fat, and it messes with my confidence and causes some real insecurity. But I’m working on accepting myself, not fully there yet though! 

[Steve5380]

It seems that exercise can stimulate autophagy,  the mechanism where the body recirculates dead cells and other undesirable cellular components and creates good stem cells,  something that promotes health and longevity.  

 

Here is a video from a guy who preaches health with some basis,  and he says that to create autophagy the exercise should be intense, and muscles should be allowed to recuperate.  A workout should be heavy but not super heavy to the point of increased apoptosis (cell death).  And muscles should be given time to recuperate.  This means that we should not work out to become loaded with big muscles ( something ugly )  but aim for good looks and longevity.

 

 

[Guest Youcandoit!]

I believe that it is never too late to start working out and exercising, but we also need to be realistic. A 50 year old is generally never going to look as good as a 20 year old, but of course there are those guys / girls who are the 1%. As Steve5380 rightly points out, exercising will help us to live longer and healthier lives and not become a burden to our loved ones. It's important that we have the right mindset. Thatguy642, you have an awesome bod and I'm sure a lot of guys here would kill to have such a body. 

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Guest Youcandoit! said:

I believe that it is never too late to start working out and exercising, but we also need to be realistic. A 50 year old is generally never going to look as good as a 20 year old, but of course there are those guys / girls who are the 1%.

 

You are absolutely right. At 50 we don't look as good as at 20.  But... we DON'T NEED to look as good as at 20.  We naturally want to be like those we are attracted to,  but we forget that everyone is different, there are 20s who don't like other 20s but are attracted to 50s, those 5% who are more handsome.  So at 50 we should try to be handsome, not baby young.    And as we get older, the no. 1 goal should be health,  followed by functionality.  Looks may be a more distant 3d. 

[fitcubsg]

its never too late to work out and let the good endorphins run through your brain. I think opposites atttract, well from my personal experience anyways. Looks wise, I am 50 in 2023 Jan, maintanance is one thing but of course, going under the needle is not something I would not say no to, taking care of your body is as important as taking care of your skin, look and what you consume on a daily basis. There is always body dysmorphia, chunky all my life, I still think I need to trim off some parts of me, its of cause normal I think. I am not chunky any more, I am also not letting my newly found physique go to my head. Everything in balance is the key. if its too much, then its best to seek professional assistance. This is just my two cents. 

[LeanMature]

3 hours ago, fitcubsg said:

its never too late to work out and let the good endorphins run through your brain. I think opposites atttract, well from my personal experience anyways. Looks wise, I am 50 in 2023 Jan, maintanance is one thing but of course, going under the needle is not something I would not say no to, taking care of your body is as important as taking care of your skin, look and what you consume on a daily basis. There is always body dysmorphia, chunky all my life, I still think I need to trim off some parts of me, its of cause normal I think. I am not chunky any more, I am also not letting my newly found physique go to my head. Everything in balance is the key. if its too much, then its best to seek professional assistance. This is just my two cents. 

 

Opposite attracts, yes,  but not that often.  

[Guest Hmmm]

Anyone thinks some of the dysmorphia might be fuelled by rejection? Like, ruminating that one keeps getting rejected on apps cos he is not muscular enough, not big enough, not cut enough, and so even though he might be above average physically, but he keeps attributing his last rejection to him to the lack of muscularity? 

I, for one, was motivated to take my gymming more seriously because I wanted to be rejected less (and be the one doing the rejecting lol)...

[fitcubsg]

On 11/8/2022 at 5:52 PM, LeanMature said:

 

Opposite attracts, yes,  but not that often.  

Really...if i am muscled, pretty cute, I wont like a guy who is chubby and cute......not all like minded people flock together 🙂

[Guest Bodylover]

As someone who was fat and chubby growing up, I too understand the desire to get fit and muscular. For me, it’s started when I had just finished University and I was determined to get jacked as I thought that would solve all my problems and make me the guy who was desired. So I did it all, I hit the gym 6 days a week, ran, swam and watched what I ate and it worked. Suddenly, guys were all throwing themselves at me and for awhile, I was content, but then I started to compare myself with guys who were fitter and it became a nightmare. I wasn’t enjoying my food anymore and eating just become a process of counting calories etc. My family finally intervened. 
 

Thankfully, I am in a much better place now. I do still work out, but at a much reduced pace and as Steve noted, the key is moderation. I also enjoy my food and I have also come to accept myself and my body, warts and all. I guess what I’m trying to say is, by all means, try and get fit, but understand that it cannot come at the expense of your life. There is so much more to life than having a 6 pack

[Guest Must workout]

It's weird that I struggle with my weight. There will be period where I'm lean. And most period I'm fat.

 

I love food. On my fat period, I'll have two dinner. Like one meal. And then a supper? If I don't eat twice the amount I will feel hungry. And that's how I got fat. 

 

But every since I started working out, gym. No 6 pack abs yet. Just more strength and some definition I find myself eating less. Sometimes after gym, I just ate a decent dinner, meat, brocoli and a protein shake. A few slices of fruit. And I'm satisfied. No hunger pang. No craving. No late night snack. 

 

And I slept better. Like by 10 pm, I wanna lie in bed and sleep. Compared to when I eat supper I usually go to bed at 2 am out of boredom. 

 

I think it's important to find a good balance. I like that I don't crave for food so much now. But I also fear that if I stopped working out, I will lose my gain and get fat again. I think that fear of feeling tired, hungry, fat, unmotivated, depressed is keeping me going to be more healthy. I'm not chasing to be more fit than the other guy. 

 

Im running away from my fat self lurking behind. 

[Steve5380]

On 11/23/2022 at 7:30 PM, Guest Must workout said:

It's weird that I struggle with my weight. There will be period where I'm lean. And most period I'm fat.

 

I love food. On my fat period, I'll have two dinner. Like one meal. And then a supper? If I don't eat twice the amount I will feel hungry. And that's how I got fat. 

 

But every since I started working out, gym. No 6 pack abs yet. Just more strength and some definition I find myself eating less. Sometimes after gym, I just ate a decent dinner, meat, brocoli and a protein shake. A few slices of fruit. And I'm satisfied. No hunger pang. No craving. No late night snack. 

 

And I slept better. Like by 10 pm, I wanna lie in bed and sleep. Compared to when I eat supper I usually go to bed at 2 am out of boredom. 

 

I think it's important to find a good balance. I like that I don't crave for food so much now. But I also fear that if I stopped working out, I will lose my gain and get fat again. I think that fear of feeling tired, hungry, fat, unmotivated, depressed is keeping me going to be more healthy. I'm not chasing to be more fit than the other guy. 

 

Im running away from my fat self lurking behind. 

 

"Must workout" is a good addiction.   Although our eating habits have a bigger influence on our shape and weight than our workouts.  

 

Have you tried fasting,  like intermittent fasting?  I have given up on breakfast,  and from the dinner in the evening to next day's lunch I don't eat.   In this interval, I go early in the morning to the gym and do other chores.  During my about 16 hours fasting I am never hungry, and instead I feel full of energy.   This seems odd, because, should we not eat before the gym to have more energy,  and after the gym to recover the energy lost?   There is an explanation:  it tales a long time for our digestion to transform the food we eat into energy that can influence the muscles.  So all this eating around a workout is not much more than a "placebo effect".   And it is known that we perform better when our energy comes from our fat transformed into ketones,  than from the glucose that is product of our digestion.  They say that the brain works better with ketones.

 

If you stop working out but keep a healthy nutrition, you have little risk of gaining weight.  But you will lose strength.   If you stop working out for a limited time,  you can later recover your strength over time.  But if you stop completely,  you may run into the loss of functionality that affect so many seniors, and this can shorten one's life.

[Thatguy642]

Sorry for bumping an old thread but been thinking about this and searched it up on this forum. I wonder how everyone on this thread is doing now?

 

I’ve been both chubby and super skinny in my lifetime and now I’m trying to get in the best shape I possibly can, but I will say that the more I try the more I feel insecure about myself. I don’t feel like I look the worst, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I get so self critical - too skinny, arms like sticks or too fat, abs losing definition. I’m sure some people who have messaged me privately would already know but it has really affected my self confidence and I don’t even want to meet up with anyone.

 

Ever since I started going to the gym earlier this year I feel better but also I see all these huge ripped guys and I’m like, man I’m the skinniest one in this whole place. Comparison is bad, we all know that, but I think it’s also really normal to compare yourself to others. It’s something I’m trying to unlearn.

 

Has anyone here managed to overcome the dysmorphia? I guess if I keep working out and doing my best then hopefully one day I’ll be happy enough with how I look but I’m starting to wonder if it’s ever possible to be fully happy with how one looks when there’s always room for improvement haha.

 

Just kind of wanted to rant. Hope everyone is doing good!

[asiandaddy]

3 minutes ago, Thatguy642 said:

Sorry for bumping an old thread but been thinking about this and searched it up on this forum. I wonder how everyone on this thread is doing now?

 

I’ve been both chubby and super skinny in my lifetime and now I’m trying to get in the best shape I possibly can, but I will say that the more I try the more I feel insecure about myself. I don’t feel like I look the worst, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I get so self critical - too skinny, arms like sticks or too fat, abs losing definition. I’m sure some people who have messaged me privately would already know but it has really affected my self confidence and I don’t even want to meet up with anyone.

 

Ever since I started going to the gym earlier this year I feel better but also I see all these huge ripped guys and I’m like, man I’m the skinniest one in this whole place. Comparison is bad, we all know that, but I think it’s also really normal to compare yourself to others. It’s something I’m trying to unlearn.

 

Has anyone here managed to overcome the dysmorphia? I guess if I keep working out and doing my best then hopefully one day I’ll be happy enough with how I look but I’m starting to wonder if it’s ever possible to be fully happy with how one looks when there’s always room for improvement haha.

 

Just kind of wanted to rant. Hope everyone is doing good!

One tend to never be satisfied or content with what one already has or achieved. It’s healthy to better oneself. But not to compare with others. No 2 individuals are the same. Most importantly, enjoy the journey. Don’t be too bent on achieving the perfect physique and not even having a scoop of ice cream or slice of cake. That’s torture.

 

PS. Or be like me. Consume junk, regret, exercise. Rinse and repeat. 🤭

[Guest Lol]

8 minutes ago, Thatguy642 said:

Sorry for bumping an old thread but been thinking about this and searched it up on this forum. I wonder how everyone on this thread is doing now?

 

I’ve been both chubby and super skinny in my lifetime and now I’m trying to get in the best shape I possibly can, but I will say that the more I try the more I feel insecure about myself. I don’t feel like I look the worst, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I get so self critical - too skinny, arms like sticks or too fat, abs losing definition. I’m sure some people who have messaged me privately would already know but it has really affected my self confidence and I don’t even want to meet up with anyone.

 

Ever since I started going to the gym earlier this year I feel better but also I see all these huge ripped guys and I’m like, man I’m the skinniest one in this whole place. Comparison is bad, we all know that, but I think it’s also really normal to compare yourself to others. It’s something I’m trying to unlearn.

 

Has anyone here managed to overcome the dysmorphia? I guess if I keep working out and doing my best then hopefully one day I’ll be happy enough with how I look but I’m starting to wonder if it’s ever possible to be fully happy with how one looks when there’s always room for improvement haha.

 

Just kind of wanted to rant. Hope everyone is doing good!

 

My muscular gym friend is the most insecure guy I know. He got muscular cause he feels so insecure about his body... 

 

So the next time you see someone muscular than you. Know this. He is sooooo much more insecure than you. That he dedicated his whole life getting big. He lose. You win. 

[Thatguy642]

16 minutes ago, asiandaddy said:

One tend to never be satisfied or content with what one already has or achieved. It’s healthy to better oneself. But not to compare with others. No 2 individuals are the same. Most importantly, enjoy the journey. Don’t be too bent on achieving the perfect physique and not even having a scoop of ice cream or slice of cake. That’s torture.

 

PS. Or be like me. Consume junk, regret, exercise. Rinse and repeat. 🤭

You’re right. I don’t think I will ever have a perfect physique but I guess being healthier and stronger than I am now are very worthy goals. I just bought two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s to be honest haha and I almost forgot about them. Might have a scoop or two later.

 

15 minutes ago, Guest Lol said:

 

My muscular gym friend is the most insecure guy I know. He got muscular cause he feels so insecure about his body... 

 

So the next time you see someone muscular than you. Know this. He is sooooo much more insecure than you. That he dedicated his whole life getting big. He lose. You win. 

I don’t consider it a win that anyone is more insecure than I am. Frankly I also started working out because of my insecurities, and I’m nowhere near ‘muscular’ yet, but it would be cool if it gets there some day! And all I hope for is that your friend one day learns to love himself for who and how he is. It’s something I’m still struggling with but I think I’m learning, and I think we all deserve to be happy.

[radiusulnar]

if insecurity is what it takes, i wish i was 100x more insecure than i am currently

[Guest Leanandripped]

I completely understand where you are coming from Thatguy642. I am in somewhat similar shoes. Realistically, I consider my body to be easily within the top 10% of fit bodies for my age (mid 40s) and I’m not lying when I say I can give fit guys in the 20s a good run for their money and yet, I always feel that somehow, my body doesn’t match up. There are times when I am at the gym and I see guys who I am convinced have a better body than me and yet, when I see them in the changing room, I’m completely shocked to see that actually, their bodies are no where near as fit as mine. It’s easy to always put yourself down and say that our bodies are not good enough etc, but your have to remember that no matter what, it’s your body and it’s unique to you and it’s up to you to accept it. I mean, I can tell you that you have a great body Thatguy642 and while you might know it, there is a voice in your head saying it’s not good enough. Try to put this voice aside and take pride in what you are doing. Always remember that real change takes time! Hugs to you!

[Thatguy642]

45 minutes ago, Guest Leanandripped said:

I completely understand where you are coming from Thatguy642. I am in somewhat similar shoes. Realistically, I consider my body to be easily within the top 10% of fit bodies for my age (mid 40s) and I’m not lying when I say I can give fit guys in the 20s a good run for their money and yet, I always feel that somehow, my body doesn’t match up. There are times when I am at the gym and I see guys who I am convinced have a better body than me and yet, when I see them in the changing room, I’m completely shocked to see that actually, their bodies are no where near as fit as mine. It’s easy to always put yourself down and say that our bodies are not good enough etc, but your have to remember that no matter what, it’s your body and it’s unique to you and it’s up to you to accept it. I mean, I can tell you that you have a great body Thatguy642 and while you might know it, there is a voice in your head saying it’s not good enough. Try to put this voice aside and take pride in what you are doing. Always remember that real change takes time! Hugs to you!

That’s very sweet of you to type all of that out and for you to share your insecurities as well. I’m in my 20s so definitely nowhere near top 10% in my age group like you are, but I can really respect someone in their 40s still going hard!

 

It’s true that I’m my own biggest critic, no matter how many compliments I get from my friends (or strangers) I’m always feeling like it’s still not enough. Obviously I don’t get complimented every day because I’m not particularly big or even ripped but at least my friends can see a difference since they’ve known me from before. I think at least some improvement counts for something

 

Appreciate you! And I’m returning the hugs. Slowly but surely I’ll learn to accept my body and stop being so negative regarding having too much fat on my stomach or not having enough muscle in general. 

[Guest Leanandripped]

I'm glad that you can acknowledge that you are your own biggest critic, that is the first step in acknowledging your insecurity. Remember, we are all our own biggest critic and we must accept that no matter what we do, there are some things that are beyond us. Don't compare yourself to those fitness influencers who might be blessed with amazing genes or need to look good because of their job (and for all you know, are taking steroids), compare yourself to normal people. Acknowledge that you are fit and that you are working towards a better body. Set realistic goals and slowly work your way to them. I'm sure that if we ever met up, I would be very impressed with your bod.  

[doncoin]

I think we are over-saturating ourselves in the media with imageries fit/athletic men. Getting into their type of body requires a lot of effort and commitment. Sure they are great to look at, and can be motivating and inspiring but it is a full-time job and most people, simply do not have the time or resources to commit. Also as we get older and have other types of commitment in life, being able to work out 7 days a week for 2 hours a day is not practical. Sure there is always that inner voice that tells you that you are not big enough, not ripped enough, not bulky enough, etc. Learn to silence that voice and embrace yourself as being enough. 

 

As I get older, I realize I will not always be in the shape I am. Sure, I do what I can to maintain it, but I have other things in life now to keep me busy, and instead of spending 2 hours at the gym, I spend 1 hour and use the other hour walking my dog instead. 

[auscent]

I do what I can to keep reasonably within healthy bmi. Sure I compare but dont trash myself. I find spending some time doing community work gives me more investment return - life satisfaction.

[Steve5380]

On 9/22/2023 at 10:57 AM, doncoin said:

 Also as we get older and have other types of commitment in life, being able to work out 7 days a week for 2 hours a day is not practical. Sure there is always that inner voice that tells you that you are not big enough, not ripped enough, not bulky enough, etc. Learn to silence that voice and embrace yourself as being enough. 

 

As I get older, I realize I will not always be in the shape I am. Sure, I do what I can to maintain it, but I have other things in life now to keep me busy, and instead of spending 2 hours at the gym, I spend 1 hour and use the other hour walking my dog instead. 

 

 

2 hours at the gym is an overkill.  Especially if it is done every day.

 

I have a gym acquaintance who goes to the gym twice every day  ( once alone and once with his wife ), and works out for about an hour.  He is 67, but in not better shape than I am at 80.   It is recognized that "more is not more" in working out.  "Very heavy" is not better than heavy with more sets.  If we work out for health instead of only for looks we may find an optimum sweet point where we create enough muscle hypertrophy to compensate for muscle loss due to age or other causes.  Then we don't need to have much change in shape at least until the 80s.  And if we choose our exercises wisely, we don't need to have much change in functionality.

 

I suppose that the risk of dysmorphia is much lower if our our attraction is to somewhat slim guys instead of big hunks.

[anxiousfriedtofu]

Went from not wanting to look at the mirror or photos of myself (body dysmorphia) to looking every morning, flexing and checking photos of myself every hour or so (muscle dysmorphia).

 

I am guilty of most of the symptoms here as a beginner. Previously 2 hours+ in the gym 6 or 7 times a week, RPE 9-10 in most workouts, micromanaging every grain of rice, every fibre of chicken or flake of fish, every drop of sauce or oil. Feeling down and dry (unachieved) despite regular acknowledgement of progress. Like, I want more than what I already have, and I want if fast. To make matters worse, my shallow understanding on strength, genetics as well as physique manipulation techniques compounded matters. Don't even begin mentioning about being natty (natural).

 

Thankfully, I have some sense knocked into myself in the 2nd year into fitness that this isn't sustainable. I eased the throttle a little and it was what probably made me break through some of my plateaus and now still enjoying those intermediate gains. Also gave me a better mind-muscle connection for bodybuilding workouts.

 

I'd say everyone should go through a period of body or muscle dysmorphia, to grow from. As long as you are not consumed in the long run, embracing and fighting back from it can be even more rewarding.

Edited February 8, 2024 by anxiousfriedtofu
Remove redundant text.

[Steve5380]

13 hours ago, anxiousfriedtofu said:

 

I'd say everyone should go through a period of body or muscle dysmorphia, to grow from. As long as you are not consumed in the long run, embracing and fighting back from it can be even more rewarding.

 

 

Although dysmorphia is excessive preoccupation with body shape, looks,  if we take away the "excessive" it can be positive. 

 

If bothered with obesity,  a healthy solution is to modify nutrition to attain a flexible metabolism and do intermittent fasting. This will bring the fat down. 

 

If bothered with lack of muscle,  there are today some theories on how to build muscle without excessive effort and time.  There is a health "guru" out there, Dave Asprey, who has written a book "Smarter not Harder" and appeared in some YouTube videos explaining his methods.  He recommends short bursts at top effort followed by complete rest, like an interval training.  And to do it for less time and less frequently to give time to the body to react.

 

My medical Medicare Advantage plan includes free membership in a gym.  I have recently changed to a gym  "The Exercise Coach" which offers short 20 minutes workout sessions with assistance from a coach, using special individualized machines that have "intelligence".  For example, one pushes with feet or arms against the machine, which measures the force and displays it on a screen. It moves away for the "concentric" move and then reverses coming closer for the "eccentric" one, which is usually harder. One should keep the force within an interval band displayed on the screen.  This goes on for several minutes and one is left exhausted.   I am doing it once a week,  and I will see how this affects my body.  20 minutes a week is not much,  but I keep going to my original gym twice a week and practicing my martial art Aikido also twice a week.  

 

Doing this routine at 80 years old is "dysmorphia"?   Maybe, ha ha.  If so, I'm happy with my dysmorphia