Of Love Struggles & Cries Of A Married Gay Man + Cheating Married Men Leading Dual Life (compiled)

[twilightfallen]

If the guy was force to have an arranged marriage and the family knows that he is gay, for him to cheat his wife and do it with guys.

Is it still ok?

[单眼皮]

I think it's ok as long as both parties know wat they are getting into from the beginning

Married men can be bi, so they enjoy both sexually.

If the married guy was honest from the beginning and began the relationship for sexual purposes, the other party should have no grandiose expectations about 'a fary tale ending with happily ever after'

Its purely for physical gratification - if both parties agree that is as far it goes, I don't see what is the problem.

[kee_hsiao]

it takes 2 hands to clap...

[Guest Holier Than Thou]

Married gays/bis (especially the younger ones) who fxxk and dally around with other gays/bis. Hey, you wanna fxxk around can, dun get fxxking married or go get a divorce first. You have a choice to remain single and enjoy your freedom, dun drag down your wife and kids and create all this shit mess, at the same time giving those single gay guys false illusions. I have zero respect for them.

This person sounds like the Pope! And Holier than Thou!!!

[Guest Guest]

This person sounds like the Pope! And Holier than Thou!!!

& you sound like lucifer, who is also an angel(but a bad one)

If the married man is cheating with a man or a woman, it's okay & accepted as long as he is a loving husband & doting dather & his wife & children are kept in the dark?

It's like saying I m not a smoker, i smoke but dun inhale?

[junxiang]

It's like saying I m not a smoker, i smoke but dun inhale?

Who cares if u inhale or not! We more concern if u exhale.

[robin]

Life is more than just black & white. Let him who has never make a wrong decision/mistake cast the first stone at the person.

To TS: What if someone starts a thread to point out, label & judge you on a shortcoming/mistake which you have made? I think no one here is applauding a married man for having sex outside marriage. With a judgemental attitude, it will affect your own life in building quality friendship & relationship becoz your surrounding people will not dare to share their personal struggles in case they start getting judge too.

[Guest Guest]

Life is more than just black & white. Let him who has never make a wrong decision/mistake cast the first stone at the person.

To TS: What if someone starts a thread to point out, label & judge you on a shortcoming/mistake which you have made? I think no one here is applauding a married man for having sex outside marriage. With a judgemental attitude, it will affect your own life in building quality friendship & relationship becoz your surrounding people will not dare to share their personal struggles in case they start getting judge too.

Well said. Too bad the threadstarter has gone to hide in ntu.... He really believes that he is above others...

[iamziz]

Oh welcome to 2011 Mother Theresa. Who r u to judge married men who cheat u dont know their stories and their predicament.

Couldn't agree more. Double triple like.

[Guest Guest]

Life is more than just black & white. Let him who has never make a wrong decision/mistake cast the first stone at the person.

To TS: What if someone starts a thread to point out, label & judge you on a shortcoming/mistake which you have made? I think no one here is applauding a married man for having sex outside marriage. With a judgemental attitude, it will affect your own life in building quality friendship & relationship becoz your surrounding people will not dare to share their personal struggles in case they start getting judge too.

Thanks robin for this insightful post. Like!!

[Guest Guest]

Well said. Too bad the threadstarter has gone to hide in ntu.... He really believes that he is above others...

How do you know the TS when the TS is a guest?

[filxxxx]

Married gays/bis (especially the younger ones) who fxxk and dally around with other gays/bis. Hey, you wanna fxxk around can, dun get fxxking married or go get a divorce first. You have a choice to remain single and enjoy your freedom, dun drag down your wife and kids and create all this shit mess, at the same time giving those single gay guys false illusions. I have zero respect for them.

Don't judge married guys. I know of many gay men fool around because it is more acceptable in the gay community. Even the ones that are supposed to be "married" or "partners" share themselves for no other reason than to keep their relationship interesting. As long as everyone is careful, and don't spread diseases, then let's not be too quick to pass judgement. That's all I'm saying. You have choices on who you want to have sex with...so do married men. It's as simple as Yes or No.

[Guest incredulous]

YOU ARE SO DISGUSTING. All of you disgusting people who lack morals. GIVE M3 ONE. just one reason men shud cheat/ be allowed to cheat on their wives.

i said cheat ar, dun gv the it is mutual shit.

none? WELL OF COURSE THERE IS NONE.

i dont care if you had been blackmqiled into marriage, u made an oath a damn oath. you had a choice. well unless ur life is stake LOL which never happens.

if commitments mean nothing to you, dont commit?

ure not stupid, so just do the right thing.

and those who thinkme and TS stand above married men/ gay men who cheat.

you re wrong. we dont think we're better than them in EVERYWAY.

perhaps we make choices that dont actually fracture the image of marriage, gay men, AND COMMITMENTS.

still we're not any better. you guys think we're elitist?

no, we're simply moral. and you are grotesquely immoral.

and those who say we're all human and shud be allowed mistakes, yes.

BUT IF YOU DO IT REPEITETIVELY, it shows unare conscious of ur wrongdoings, that u are doing nothing wrong.

just like murder, u are murdering marriage, ur children's cognition and morals, everything society is about.

is it right? no.

if it is mutual? leave ur fxxkin wife and go fck ard la. slut.

[filxxxx]

YOU ARE SO DISGUSTING. All of you disgusting people who lack morals. GIVE M3 ONE. just one reason men shud cheat/ be allowed to cheat on their wives.

i said cheat ar, dun gv the it is mutual shit.

none? WELL OF COURSE THERE IS NONE.

i dont care if you had been blackmqiled into marriage, u made an oath a damn oath. you had a choice. well unless ur life is stake LOL which never happens.

if commitments mean nothing to you, dont commit?

ure not stupid, so just do the right thing.

and those who thinkme and TS stand above married men/ gay men who cheat.

you re wrong. we dont think we're better than them in EVERYWAY.

perhaps we make choices that dont actually fracture the image of marriage, gay men, AND COMMITMENTS.

still we're not any better. you guys think we're elitist?

no, we're simply moral. and you are grotesquely immoral.

and those who say we're all human and shud be allowed mistakes, yes.

BUT IF YOU DO IT REPEITETIVELY, it shows unare conscious of ur wrongdoings, that u are doing nothing wrong.

just like murder, u are murdering marriage, ur children's cognition and morals, everything society is about.

is it right? no.

if it is mutual? leave ur fxxkin wife and go fck ard la. slut.

Spoken like a true woman scorned. Oh, and if you're going to rant, try doing it in English.

[qez]

For everyone's reference:

Marriage and Morals

Marriage and Morals is a 1929 book by the philosopher and mathematician Bertrand Russell that questions the Victorian notions of morality regarding sex and marriage.

[Guest Guest]

if a straight marriage is a camouflage for a gay to morph into the society,

escaped verbal abuse and silent persecution,

get to quech his sexual thirst clandestinely,

is understandable & accepted,

& no one should point a finger coz there's no wrong or right,

then there's no need for personal morals & judiciary to exist.

We should all go back to the beginning of time & do as we please,

isn't that scary?

Note: the world is definitely ending

[Guest complicated]

Don't judge married guys. I know of many gay men fool around because it is more acceptable in the gay community. Even the ones that are supposed to be "married" or "partners" share themselves for no other reason than to keep their relationship interesting. As long as everyone is careful, and don't spread diseases, then let's not be too quick to pass judgement. That's all I'm saying. You have choices on who you want to have sex with...so do married men. It's as simple as Yes or No.

but gays who fool around do not have the burden of a wife and/or kids to answer to... <married> men have..

i think this is more than just having safe fun, the implications of the <married> men who cheats is much higher than "partnered" gays in this present society

I say get out of the sham marriage if you do not intend to uphold your commitment, if the cheating gets found out, the collateral damage is really his family... at least when you are out of the marriage, the burden is lesser... only the kids(if you have) matter...

[Guest incredulously scorned.]

Spoken like a true woman scorned. Oh, and if you're going to rant, try doing it in English.

i am in awe. i am totally defeated by such a witty, relevant, insightful comment.

as a member of bw, i thought would actually post something worth reading.

but.. i guess not?

Isnt that what all horny men do?

they EVADE the question.

take some tips from the flaming bitches of bw. u'd need em.

btw, small dick

oh DAMN i am starting to become as relevant as you are!!!! hahahaha sorry. stupidity is infectious

[EasleyLim]

It's understandable why married people cheat but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

[Guest Guest]

To all married straight/bi/gay men:

Cheating with a gal or guy is not right.

My father is cheating on my mom & is still with his mistress (who's my age) for the past 30 years.

My father was caught redhanded but would deny all wrong doings.

He told my mom he was bringing his mistress to bamngkok & pray to 4-faced buddha & show her the world & his cock. He was given many chances to repent but still continues his acts.

I guess one could get used to cheating, it has a numbing effect on one's conscience.

My father silenced my mom by shaming her in front of our relatives that she was a jealous & suspicious stupid woman.

I caught my mom sobbing & suffered. My mom tried to jump down & die but the only way for her to survive is play along with my father & live in denial.

My father is very well respected among his peers & staffs as a caring & generous person.

He does not know what others to know who he really is.

He would pick on me & create problems out of nothing for my mom.

I love my mom very much but In order to 'save' her, i have to' take' myself out of the equation.

At least, my mom could live in peace without any trouble from her husband.

My mom & I are separated but are still suffering because of a cheating husband & jealous father.

My mom & I would only be free on the day when my cheating father goes to hell. I hope his mistress goes with him to keep him company, too.

BE A FAITHFUL HUSBAND & LOVING FATHER.

IF YOU HAVE PROBLEM WITHIN YOUR MARRIAGE, WORK IT OUT.

CHEATING IS NOT A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEMS

PLEASE DUN HURT YOUR WIFE & CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From a victim

[Guest Guest]

I don't think anyone here is saying cheating married men are doing a praiseworthy thing by cheating.

But what's the point of pointing fingers at the cheating married men?

What's the utility or wisdom of judging, condemning and shaming them.

Those who cast stones are equally, if not more, reprehensible.

Their judgmental attitude is just disgusting.

[Guest Guest]

Spoken like a true woman scorned. Oh, and if you're going to rant, try doing it in English.

:clap:

Will doing a witchhunt on cheating married men or condemning them facilitate efforts to solve their predicament/situation?

[Guest Smh]

I get it, revenge is never the right way out.

But here...... Condemnation leaves a blob of guilt in those who err, stifling their actions.

Just like lust, guilt makes it an obligation to do the opposite of what lust compels us to do; have sex.

IF NO ONE STOPS THEM AND PATS THEM ON THE BACK SAYING HEY.. GOOD JOB BRO... fxxk ARD MORE CAUSE I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A HARD TIME FOR YOU. It wont stop.

It simply wont, because look ard you!

So many TOO MANY people are for infidelity.

U say condemnation is not the way? Than what is?

unlike murder's deterrent, u cant punish someone for being unloyal.

Why? Because more sex for the one who errs is self defeating zzzz

So what? Accept them? Watch them burn peoples lives?

U are bloody cruel... Disgustingly cruel

[Guest Guest]

I get it, revenge is never the right way out.

But here...... Condemnation leaves a blob of guilt in those who err, stifling their actions.

Just like lust, guilt makes it an obligation to do the opposite of what lust compels us to do; have sex.

IF NO ONE STOPS THEM AND PATS THEM ON THE BACK SAYING HEY.. GOOD JOB BRO... fxxk ARD MORE CAUSE I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A HARD TIME FOR YOU. It wont stop.

It simply wont, because look ard you!

So many TOO MANY people are for infidelity.

U say condemnation is not the way? Than what is?

unlike murder's deterrent, u cant punish someone for being unloyal.

Why? Because more sex for the one who errs is self defeating zzzz

So what? Accept them? Watch them burn peoples lives?

U are bloody cruel... Disgustingly cruel

Cool down, you're very emotional

[filxxxx]

Let me first apologize for sounding angry. I'm not. I'm simply suggesting that those without sin cast the first stone. Period.

[Guest Clef]

Let me first apologize for sounding angry. I'm not. I'm simply suggesting that those without sin cast the first stone. Period.

:clap:

[Guest still smh]

Let me first apologize for sounding angry. I'm not. I'm simply suggesting that those without sin cast the first stone. Period.

then i am ur best example. i am proud enuf to tell you i have not erred in any way at all. unless u consider sex before marriage and bein gay as a sin.

so i have the right to judge people who have sinned.

because i judge myself first, and never once cheated o anyone. how? i simply dont engage im casual sex when im attached.

isnt it fcking simple?

[Chub71]

No need to talk about judging or sin or about cheating...being gay alone in Singapore is an offense. Would you all stop being gay or surrender yourselves to our court system to be punished with a sentence?

[Guest Guest]

What happened to the threadstarter who started all this shit, where is he now, quiet as a mouse?!

[kee_hsiao]

you only start judging others when you are perfect yourself.

nobody in this world is perfect. nobody...

[Guest guest]

Everybody is judgmental, no one is a saint.

but i what i can't understand is why gays still go through marriage(esp in this generation) when they know they cannot stay away from gay sex.

cant they stay single? worse is when kids come into the picture.

[Guest Guest]

What happened to the threadstarter who started all this shit, where is he now, quiet as a mouse?!

"Stop talking about me!"

[Guest munchkix]

Lols, some of 'this generation' as some of you pointed out still have conservative parents and relatives of the 'older generation'. So you can't really put a stand to why married man cheat, as of yet that is, cause I myself have conservative parents. Your point of 'this generation' and 'older generation' got to be a little more specific.

To turn the table, some married women cheat as well, what's your view about that?

Staying single, you will still get judged and nagged on by the parents to have a family and / or kids.

Being married, doesn't mean you really love the person also. Some couples were forced into marriages as some might have said above. Arranged marriages often falls into this category. But oh wells~

Eventually a person whether married or in a long-term relationship who eats out will feel guilty of himself / herself without anyone around them telling them cheating is wrong. We say we can't have the best of both worlds, we can't blame bi-sexuals for having lust and such for both sides of the genders.

PS: The post above by the guest, that gif is a bit irritating. -.-

[snowball]

家家有本难念的经, 很多人都爱说, 你不是我, 又怎么知道我的感受我走过的路?

的确, 别人是别人和你有何相干, 何必庸人自扰? 能管好自己就已经很不错了,

重要是, 自己的路, 自己该会怎么走怎么做, 不是吗?

你可以不同意不欣赏别人的作风和生活方式, 但也不应出言不逊,

话不必说的太过火, 无需太绝, 那也是为自己留一条后路

Edited November 27, 2012 by snowball

[Guest guest]

Singaporeans in the 30s still have arranged/forced marriage now? you got to be kidding me..

So getting married cos of social & parental pressure, and in the process ruining another person's life is easier to bear than staying single & being nagged at huh?

Straight people stray, no doubt about it, they are equally bad, but they dont go into a marriage knowing they will stray.

Gays go into a marriage thinking about having sex & intimacy that his wife cannot fulfill, if this is not a recipe for disaster, what is?

[Guest munchkix]

Lols, there are still people of different circumstances getting arranged marriages.

Eh, and guest, we are kinda talking about bi-sexuals, why drag in gays?

[Guest guest]

Lols, I did not see the title "About Cheating Bisexual Married Men"

the threads above are all talking about gays & bi

People getting into arranged marriage, please grow a pair of balls and reject it.

stay single, have all the fun you want, play safe... why complicate things?

[Guest Guest]

then i am ur best example. i am proud enuf to tell you i have not erred in any way at all. unless u consider sex before marriage and bein gay as a sin.

so i have the right to judge people who have sinned.

because i judge myself first, and never once cheated o anyone. how? i simply dont engage im casual sex when im attached.

isnt it fcking simple?

SO? If you want to judge then others also want to judge gays by stoning them to death. If u r right then they are right too. Is your whole world only about judging other gays who stay? U have not sinned in other ways?

That is why we do not want subjective morals become the laws like they used to be in the past. Those past only brought us misery. Still there are people like you around with a small mind.

If the married stray for a little fun yet he takes good care of the family, who are you to represent the family here? The problem are those who don't take care of the family and caused them misery. Can u grow up and tell the difference? Your mad dog ranting here is not helping anyone here.

[Guest Guest]

then i am ur best example. i am proud enuf to tell you i have not erred in any way at all. unless u consider sex before marriage and bein gay as a sin.

so i have the right to judge people who have sinned.

because i judge myself first, and never once cheated o anyone. how? i simply dont engage im casual sex when im attached.

isnt it fcking simple?

SO? If you want to judge then others also want to judge gays by stoning them to death. If u r right then they are right too. Is your whole world only about judging other gays who stay? U have not sinned in other ways?

That is why we do not want subjective morals become the laws like they used to be in the past. Those past only brought us misery. Still there are people like you around with a small mind.

If the married stray for a little fun yet he takes good care of the family, who are you to represent the family here? The problem are those who don't take care of the family and caused them misery. Can u grow up and tell the difference? Your mad dog ranting here is not helping anyone here.

[Guest munchkix]

Gays go into a marriage thinking about having sex & intimacy that his wife cannot fulfill, if this is not a recipe for disaster, what is?

Lols, note the word u use here is gays. Gays can have wife? I mean, the correct term here to use is bi-sexuals.

But anyway, some people are afraid to go up against their parents who have certain powers in terms of monetary and / or life, so they just got to accept the arranged / forced marriage lor.

[Guest Taylor]

I feel that infidelity has always been around in one way or another, be it in gay or straight relationships, dating or married. however, I honestly do think the REAL trouble on comes in when the other half finds out and quite frankly, the anguish and pain felt by her is the same even if he does take really good care of his family. so what can we make about these cheating men then? selfish? lusty? or greedy?

and unfortunately, with the recent great technological advancements within the past decade, clandestine hook-ups are so convenient that it sort of gives them enough determination to start sleeping around.

[kee_hsiao]

家家有本难念的经, 很多人都爱说, 你不是我, 又怎么知道我的感受我走过的路?

的确, 别人是别人和你有何相干, 何必庸人自扰? 能管好自己就已经很不错了,

重要是, 自己的路, 自己该会怎么走怎么做, 不是吗?

你可以不同意不欣赏别人的作风和生活方式, 但也不应出言不逊,

话不必说的太过火, 无需太绝, 那也是为自己留一条后路

thumbs up!

[Guest guest]

Hmmm.. interesting views. Am wondering if we can get some honest opinions from the married men themselves!

[Guest Smh]

SO? If you want to judge then others also want to judge gays by stoning them to death. If u r right then they are right too. Is your whole world only about judging other gays who stay? U have not sinned in other ways?

That is why we do not want subjective morals become the laws like they used to be in the past. Those past only brought us misery. Still there are people like you around with a small mind.

If the married stray for a little fun yet he takes good care of the family, who are you to represent the family here? The problem are those who don't take care of the family and caused them misery. Can u grow up and tell the difference? Your mad dog ranting here is not helping anyone here.

No this is a black and white thing.

YOU CHEAT YOU SIN.

And for all those arses who think being gay is a sin, u are saying being gay allows to commit more sins?

I cant even ..... ZZZZZ

Both those who look after their family or not are equally liable to infedelity.

Have you not seen the consequences? YOU HAVE NOT.

You do not even have sympathy, yet alone empathy.

U can NEVER understand the victimised.

Broken families broken homes, all due to you being such an arse face.

For what? For fxxkING SEX! Ask ur wife for it la?

Why get married for

U tell me why get married just to destroy whatever marriage stands for?

JUST DONT GET MARRIE, GOD!

MARRIAGE AINT FOR LIL KIDS WHO USE THEIR DICKS TOT HINK U KNOW?

Btw no,i have never sinned I am proud to say that.

Btw to be judged for being gay?

Dont make.me laugh u old man.

Grow up? Lol u dont even know ur logic well enuf.

[Guest SMD]

just to add,

i am simply frustrated ( that explains my erratic typing) by the replies FOR infidelity and how it MUST be even remotely tolerated.

yes, if it was a mistake it shud happen on rare occasions to be justified. LIKE reallllly rare.

not every month kind of rare, every 15 years kind of rare.

to be judged u wiget judged? sure.

judge me for being gay and i will judge u for being straight. it works equally both ways.

i spread stds, and so do you. all is fair.

BUT U DARE TELL ME U CAN JUDGE ME FOR NOT SUPORTING INFIDELITY?!

YOU HAVE not even one morsel of morality in you.

and yea sure, give me actual valid arguments to not condemn cheaters?!

[Guest Guest]

My father cheats on my mom as mentioned in the earlier in my posting as 'a victim'

My mom asked my father to leave the flat with her to discuss this downstairs.

My father refused & tried to run away. When confronted, my father told my mom that the reason for him to cheat is

'UNDER STRESS, WORK PRESSURE'.

My mom refuted by saying "I also work & I am also under a lot of stress"

It's interesting to see my father walks with his head on the ground.

From what I know, he's afraid that our rich relative would look down on him.

I did not find out until much later that he 's afraid that his good guy image would be tarnished if they know about his affairs.

So I should applaud my father for being faithful to his mistress for over 30yrs?

My father wanted us to be his supporting actors to potray us as a happy & blissful family.

I refused to play along & I am a threat to him for blowing his cover.

That's why he has to get rid of me to oust me out of the family circle.

There were many eyewitnesses that saw him outside with his mistress.

He would forewarn us that we should not believe what they say.

But sadly, my mom & I are among the eyewitnesses & i did not tell my mom because I dun want her to get hurt.

We compared notes at a later time.

People make mistakes but the most important is to learn from them & NOT TO REPEAT THEM.

The worst thing is that my father continues to justify his cheating by turning the table against us.

He made my mom believed that she had wrongly accused him & that the whole cheating was my mom's imagination.

A woman's instinct is very strong & could smell another woman cunt juice on her man.

My mom went into a depression. She was suicidal. She would sob quietly in the kitchen & after that would come out smiling with the food. She would wait for all of us to sleep then she would sleep on the living room sofa. Imagine, sleeping next to someone whom you used to love more than your life not for one day but for the past 30 yrs? Worst than rape!

My father would fault my mom & me & my brothers. Why? It's like trying to prove that we are as imperfect as him & that we should not judge him. It's his sly way of easing his guilt. So does it mean that I have not cheated on my partner but because I have other faults like farting silently in the bus, therefore I cannot have my opinion on someone who cheats.

If my father cheats, it is his business. But it is also our business because we belong to a institution called 'FAMILY'.

My father cheating is like a tsunami, my mom & I are unsuspecting & reluctant bystanders, engulfed & swept under by his waves of self-indulgence & total destruction. It's hard for us to trust anymore. The only way for us to survive is to live our lives in loneliness, at least it's safe there. No one would rape our souls again.

We need to forgive to heal. But for forgiveness to take time, there must be that 'I-m-sorry' stage. But my father continues to legitimise his cheating by believing it's a past life owe-and-repay destiny. He is staying with my mom because he's flat broke(grandpa left him $$$$$$$) & need money from my mom to sustain his lifestyle - cheating. My mom, the victim, lives in fear that if she would not give him the dough, he would be more ruthless.

My father, the cheater, gets to fxxk his mistress & gets away with it.

He would not be judged, scorned & stoned because he knows no one dare to do it to him.'

Why? Coz his friends & acquaintances also cheat.

So what happen to my mom & me? We did not cheat but we could not move on with our lives because there's no closure.

We, have to suffer for something that we did not do.

[Guest sigh]

^^ god bless you soul, amen. i aint religious btw.

i hope this serves as a reminder to all gay men who do not judge cheaters.

judging can be unfair and wrong, but if u are a moral person and u judge urself before others u are doin the world a favour.

i am not saying that wth condemnation there is no forgiveness, the forgving will come if the sinner shows remorse.

if not... it is definitely not going to happen.

[Guest Guest]

^^ god bless you soul, amen. i aint religious btw.

i hope this serves as a reminder to all gay men who do not judge cheaters.

judging can be unfair and wrong, but if u are a moral person and u judge urself before others u are doin the world a favour.

i am not saying that wth condemnation there is no forgiveness, the forgving will come if the sinner shows remorse.

if not... it is definitely not going to happen.

if you cheat once, dun cheat twice.

[Guest =)]

this deserves a bump to remind all the arses out there that they are arses

[The.Intrv.]

Long story short: Are they even men?