Of Love Struggles & Cries Of A Married Gay Man + Cheating Married Men Leading Dual Life (compiled)

[Guest Top of the World]

i can only love women, not too sure why. cant love men. but love bottom sex; that's more intense than anything. so net net, i have only top women and bottom men.

Bcoz gay men r bitchier than women. Let me top u and show u nirvana..

[tyan]

I'm seeing a married guy now. He's married for over 5 years, with a daughter. Very devoted hubby and so on.

We see each other at least once a week. Sometimes have quickie. We are exercise partners too. As well as very compatible friends.

Everything aside, I think to be with a married one, you need to be very understanding and willing to give in. As in, if he has to attend to his wife or children, please don't grouch. If he suddenly can't meet, please don't sulk. Always remember his family must come first. You have to contribute to that too.

But frankly speaking, if the guy is a good guy, even though he is married. I guess I supposed I also dun mind. If I know right from the start that he is married and I know him and trust his character, I will compromise.

[robin64]

But frankly speaking, if the guy is a good guy, even though he is married. I guess I supposed I also dun mind. If I know right from the start that he is married and I know him and trust his character, I will compromise.

若爱上已婚者...相对的也耍付出极大代价....宽容、忍耐、等候、谅解...等等

对于已婚者....内疚、谎言以及无法给于对方的承诺......等等

...............是缘份的相依还是罪恶的开始.............！

Edited January 3, 2010 by robin64

[snowball]

冤孽.

Edited January 3, 2010 by snowball

[TheVisitors]

But frankly speaking, if the guy is a good guy, even though he is married. I guess I supposed I also dun mind. If I know right from the start that he is married and I know him and trust his character, I will compromise.

This is easier said then done, coming from someone who was involved with 3 married gays and two attached gays.

Actually, there was a lot of smiliarities you will have when you are involved with the two categatories

If you are involved with the attached gays, you will always be invisible until when his boyfriend is not around or they are in a fight, then he needs you around. That means the boyfriend will never and can never know of your existence.

He cannot be with you sometimes because of some business venture they have together, or they have been known to be "the most loving couple " in the gay community. You are always invisible.

For the married gay, if you are fortunate, he may even introduced you to his wife, as his gym buddy sports buddy etc. Because you look straight and is straight acting, his wife will never suspect your surrepititious activities behind her back. To put it very crudely, you just fit into his scheme prefectly, when all he wants is the best of the both worlds.

He will never leave his wife for you. You have no status compared to her. You are always invisible.But you will always be at his call when he needs you.

But the ultimate true test to see if he is sincere or even a "good" guy ,is when if he bumps into you with his family or boyfriend.

He sees you , you see him, and wanting to say hi, but he walks away , pretending he doesn't even know you, thought you know him,in inside out too well for 2 years.

At that moment, you will feel the most painful realization of how you are worth to him,and your self worth; you feel so small and used. You stand alone as he walked away with his other life, which he has been hiding you from them.

Then its time for you to accept this arrangement. You can remain silently in this relationship and be used by him over and over again, or just take a quiet walk away from all this sad reality, and tell yourself you are worth more, and you deserve more, than sticking with a pathetic coward.

Edited January 4, 2010 by TheVistors

[snowball]

情到浓时, 执着的心, 无怨无悔让爱捆绑.

[castaway]

Actually, I think it depends on each individual gay guy how he accepts it and behaves when having relationship with married guy.

Knowing a friend, he has a gay friend who is married. One time, the married gay asked him if he leaves his wife, children and work, will my friend stay with him together ... forever ? ... After few days, my friend decided to say NO and keep as friendship, not because of he doesn't love married gay but my friend did not want to be the one to destroy his family, he lives in this gaylife long enough to know that it is very very difficult to have something called "forever" ... and he could not hurt his friend ...

Now, my friend still single, married gay is still living with his family and they still keep their friendship stronger ... they are best friends now ... sometimes my friend tell me that he was not sure if he made the right decision for ... himself but he feels peacefully in his mind ...

Good or bad guy is not of seeing you, saying Hi ... in public and behave differently, may be he is not open yet, not ready yet or even you, are you ready to behave to protect your friend or lover ? Of course, it depends on how you and him agree about this from begining.

Being 3rd party is very difficult situation, so it is better to avoid it.

I never support gays marrying women nowsaday for WTF reasons they use and call them married gays as brand :yuk: ... we are trying very hard, many people also have to sacrifice their own lives to make straight people "understand", to change their mind ... so :swear:

[Guest ring ding dong]

But frankly speaking, if the guy is a good guy, even though he is married. I guess I supposed I also dun mind. If I know right from the start that he is married and I know him and trust his character, I will compromise.

Aiyoh, there are thousands of gay men and why do you want to choose a married man? He is the one enjoying life and sex at the expense of his wife and his gay lover. Imagine you are the wife, how would you feel? What if your supposely gay boyfriend is seeing/fxxking another gal? how wold you feel? PLEASE.... Live a happy and guilt-free life even if it means alone. It beats having to wait for retribution to come, one fine day.

[lonely]

I think most of the time, the person we like just happens to be married. It is more so as you get older and when the people surrounding you are almost all straight. Most of us don't actively seek married men, and I think given a choice (if that is ever possible) we won't want to be a third party either.

Edited January 4, 2010 by lonely

[TheVisitors]

Actually, I think it depends on each individual gay guy how he accepts it and behaves when having relationship with married guy.

Knowing a friend, he has a gay friend who is married. One time, the married gay asked him if he leaves his wife, children and work, will my friend stay with him together ... forever ? ... After few days, my friend decided to say NO and keep as friendship, not because of he doesn't love married gay but my friend did not want to be the one to destroy his family, he lives in this gaylife long enough to know that it is very very difficult to have something called "forever" ... and he could not hurt his friend ...

Now, my friend still single, married gay is still living with his family and they still keep their friendship stronger ... they are best friends now ... sometimes my friend tell me that he was not sure if he made the right decision for ... himself but he feels peacefully in his mind ...

Good or bad guy is not of seeing you, saying Hi ... in public and behave differently, may be he is not open yet, not ready yet or even you, are you ready to behave to protect your friend or lover ? Of course, it depends on how you and him agree about this from begining.

Being 3rd party is very difficult situation, so it is better to avoid it.

I never support gays marrying women nowsaday for WTF reasons they use and call them married gays as brand :yuk: ... we are trying very hard, many people also have to sacrifice their own lives to make straight people "understand", to change their mind ... so :swear:

I was asked the same question by them, when they were in a casual frivolous mood.

But will they really walk the walk should your answer is " yes, leave your wife and we will be happy (including forever?)" ?

Lets narrow this discussion pertaining our local context.

The immense amount of mental stress, exhaustion, time consumed at court hearings, legal cost, will divided, children custody, the residential property that must be liqudated and sold when a straight couple file for a separation/divorce. The social taboo, stigma, hassle, and the embarrassment they will have to face when disclosing the reason for separation.

I stand firmly on the notion that most Singaporean males don't have the balls to live their own lives or living a life of their dreams. They can complain alot,or claimed they are educated, well read, well informed well travelled,demand for their rights but most don't live up to their own personal convictions. They just talk the talk.

If they have enough balls to be themselves and live their own true lives , they wouldn't need to chalk up a schemed marriage to hide their shame, which even you disgreed.

If you ever get involved with such people, I am sure you will have a greater understanding where I am coming from.

If a person can tell you, he loves and needs two person at the same time in his life, it really means he love none of them.

They are just his pawns for his lifeplan conveniences. What a grandiose scheme you may say.

A relationship, whether gay or straight, all have their own responsibilities.

Thus you are responsible for your spouse, responsible for your choices, and all other aspects you have chosen.

If you don't like it, then too bad, thats because you are part of it.

Those who live their lives, with honesty, integrity and decisiveness, don't need to live a life with lies, guilt, secrets,double lives, unnecessary complications or tiresome dramas.

Or a colourful facade or a happy mask, hidding a misearble sad soul beneath

On a higher note , all agendas do have their hidden meanings, for each individual to understand himself and his role on the planet called earth.

I really think your friend is smart and have enough foresight when he declined the fairy tale offer.

He undestood what is love, that he love this guy so as not to disrupt or disturb his chosen married lifestyle.

He could be aware that, this married dude do not have the balls to live up to promises made.

Thus he rather cherish his own peace of mind, most important here, his own freedom and life that he distanced him as a friend.

Its a choice I truly respect.

Edited January 4, 2010 by TheVistors

[Guest Guest]

i m married. i really like many of my gay friends, i think they are some of the nicest people around. but i prefer cuddling a woman anytime. i can love and pamper women, and i can caress them and topped them.

But i cant do the same for men. all i want with men is to suck their cocks, and have them hump me like a slut. and have lunch, go for a coffee, play golf, talk about cars or football. good feelings yes. affection no.

does this make sense to anyone?

[snowball]

does this make sense to anyone?

you like to be a slut for men, you like to get fxxk by men?

you crazy for all those but you don't love men?

are you saying that you just like the feeling to get used by men & treat like sex toy?

Edited January 5, 2010 by snowball

[castaway]

The reason I told this story is just want to prove (in your previous post) that even if you were asked "sincerely" by a married guy, will you really want to take the chance ?

It all depends on each individual gay. Some will say YES immediately, some will say NO ...

For me, I think the married guy should not ask my friend this question because it is not my friend's responsibility to take happiness from ... his family.

The married gay in my story is sincere when asking this question because my friend is second love if him. He only knew he was gay after marriage. For his first love, he already told his wife about his gay orientation ... the wife was shocked of course, they decided to separate ... but still stay together for children and work ... the wife even met the 1st bf, ... but that bf did not feel happy enough and did not want to share with the wife ... in the end, they broke up and the married guy almost committed suicide as I heard ... so my friend is second love of his ...

So writing until here, I just want to say that, many married gays say they are successful case ... how they can be sure who they will meet or fall in love deeply in the future ... then what will happen to them ... life is very fair ... they always use the word "love" woman ... Loving is not like that, if they really love his wife, can he tell his wife if he is gay and let his wife decide ??? Do they want to risk ? Or their love is just cuddling, fxxking, giving birth, ... of course, everyone has different definition of love so ... don't think your love is something that others care and agree ...

I knew another married gay story, after many years living together, married gay fell in love with another gay until he confess to his wife. The wife needs him for children and family WTF reasons ... I am not sure ... so she accepted his requests of having his "own" 1 day per week (no question) and 1 "private" holiday per year ... so life has full of different types of family ... just what you want ...

Of course, different countries, different cultures will give different married gays.

The above stories are not in Singapore

[unitight]

I have come across many discreet gays who are leading a dual life whereby they have a steady work on one side and mind blowing, outrageous sex life on the other side which often contradicts the social norms. A large numbers of them even hold high ranking positions be it as a doctor, lawyer, etc.

Most would require to wear their "superficial" mask on a regular basis, ie. medical profession: during the day as a doctor, A would advise his patient to execute safe and healthy sex but at night, he enjoys an unprotective sex with one of his many sex partners.

Or B, a church minister who act piously when he's giving a sermon in front of the church during the day but involve in an S/M orgy sex in his own underground dungeon.

Does this social phenomenon happen due to the stressful working environment locally, or is there any other issue that you think could trigger this?

Any comments on this? Or anyone would like to share stories about themselves or their friends/colleagues? You can even comment on your own dual life since you don't even have to be a member to contribute in BW.

[Guest guest]

This is quite common. quite alot of gays in doc professional. during work, it is their duties to perform as a doctor. Whatever happen in their private life, we shouldn't question (if they intend to have unsafe sex, as long as there is a willing party, who can stop them. As for church minister, if he is preaching against Gay then he is a hypocrite. Both profession differs. One touches on moral issues so you can really compare. This is my take. It is the same as married man involved with another guy (also double life).

[Guest Guest]

im surprised many gays out there are professionals.....cos most of the time the gays i saw worked as sales assistants, trainers etc...all those lowly paid jobs and yet they try to behave glam...yuck

[Guest Centrino]

im surprised many gays out there are professionals.....cos most of the time the gays i saw worked as sales assistants, trainers etc...all those lowly paid jobs and yet they try to behave glam...yuck

There are all types of people in society. Even in the straight world, there are those who clean toilets, and those who earn 6 figure salaries. So it's not surprising that in the gay world, there are those who are successful professionally, and those who are shop assistants, trainers etc...

[Bengish]

im surprised many gays out there are professionals.....cos most of the time the gays i saw worked as sales assistants, trainers etc...all those lowly paid jobs and yet they try to behave glam...yuck

Dear guest,

What do you actually meant by those lowly paid jobs?

So i suppose you are holding a high post if you are referring to those as lowly paid jobs.

As you said that you are surprised by many gays out there who are professionals... I seriously think that you are also one of those lowly paid jobs guy if you are referring them to yourself!

Please think twice before you post. :swear:

[ChunkyMunkey]

There are all types of people in society. Even in the straight world, there are those who clean toilets, and those who earn 6 figure salaries. So it's not surprising that in the gay world, there are those who are successful professionally, and those who are shop assistants, trainers etc...

Hmmm...least they are still decent job choices, sustaining a life through your own hands and feet. Unlike theft, murder, scams, extortion...etc.

Contentment is the key, living a high life doesn't necessarily mean a good one.

[Guest Guest]

Or B, a church minister who act piously when he's giving a sermon in front of the church during the day but involve in an S/M orgy sex in his own underground dungeon.

haha I thought getting pumped and piak backside is bad enough. How cum these people never write their stories? must be hot hot hot right Why anonymous also scared to post? I want to read real stories leh

[doncoin]

My ex used to be one of those guys. Very well respected in the community he lived in, was the president of the local chamber of commerce, owned a small real estate business. Had a wife, 3 kids, church leader etc. But every so often, he would go to the gay bath-houses then and enjoy his himself. The pressure of maintaining the facade became too much after a while, and living up to the expectations of everyone but himself. So he came out, got divorced, and moved into the city. Having given up everything to the ex-wife and kids, he tried working in real estate for a while, but was not very successful. By chance he saw an ad looking for pxxn performers, he went and the rest is history

[Guest Guest]

im surprised many gays out there are professionals.....cos most of the time the gays i saw worked as sales assistants, trainers etc...all those lowly paid jobs and yet they try to behave glam...yuck

Why Yucks? They are just human and need to live for others' expectation. People I met before in sauna and parties are: The New Generation Awarding Winning Director, Entrepreneur of the Year with a MBA, Famous Song Writer with a music school, Big National Event and musical show producer, NUS professor ...... They are nice people just that they're in the wrong countries where their sexuality cannot be showed under the sun.

[Guest Married and Lonely]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

[SKMan]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

u are married..... what about ur wife and kids .....

[Guest Married and Lonely]

When I'm with them, I'm not lonely. But there is this secret in me that I harbour inside me. I feel like talking to somebody. I wonder am I alone ?

u are married..... what about ur wife and kids .....

[biscuits]

Well , I'm not in the same situation. But i know of those who are in your position.

I hope i'm not rude but do you feel you lack the company or sexually?

Personally, I think you need some guys who can join you for a drink (if you drink) and supper mates and just chill and talk.

I'm sure if you approached anyone here most here (some are perpetually pissed) and i'm sure we're open to making friends and all .

take it easy You are not alone.

Edited September 2, 2010 by biscuits

[snowball]

understand is great to know some one who is same boat, more easy & comfortable to " share " & chat, however once you are out, slowly your " circle " and risk will be increase to get identity expose, esp if you are sexy & hot, you are dangerous if you encounter someone that are too " friendly ", you have to be mentally prepared, your life wont be same again.

[Guest Flamers]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

Oh.. I feel for you. It must be very hard being in your shoes.

Just open yourself up to your closest friends. It's much better to lose a few friends (who are not really your friends after all) than spending your whole life in closet. Do go to gay bars and all those gay places, you'll find a lot of dudes in similar situation.

[SKMan]

Oh.. I feel for you. It must be very hard being in your shoes.

Just open yourself up to your closest friends. It's much better to lose a few friends (who are not really your friends after all) than spending your whole life in closet. Do go to gay bars and all those gay places, you'll find a lot of dudes in similar situation.

open up to closest friends who may even know ur wife ... and risk ur marriage ....

think b4 u act.

[Guest Married and Lonely]

Lack company or sexually. Thanks for asking this question. I'm clearer in my thoughts now. I think my character makes me a loner as I'm very strong in my opinions. I'm lonely because of my strong character. Even in office, I tend to eat alone. Also, as I'm often either as work of at home, I don't socialise much. Meeting up with friends after work is rare. Probably did not happen for 5-6 years ? Or more ? I hardly get calls from friends. Almost all my calls are from family members or someone who wants to sell me something.

As for the sexaually part, that too. I would like to have an outlet. I have to be honest. I do meet up with people. But the fear is very strong as I'm afraid I get in trouble. I'm looking for someone who has a reason for me to be with, eg working in the same line (that would be a good reason cause I don't have a personal reason for knowing someone !!) But the opportunity does not come. Or I found a colleague that I can talk to but he's not someone I can open up to.

One of the reason I see is that my kids are very young. In Pri school. I have to look after them and help with their studies as well. We don't have maid. Use to have but decided to give up. So my time is mostly consumed by work (and honestly I spend much lesser time than my colleagues in office) and home. I venture into this "life" after 10pm when they are all asleep. And recently, they took up an hobby which occupies them 7-9pm on one of the evenings, which gives me some time. But I don't know what to do with this time except clear my office work or go exercise. Or go and run some errands.

Well , I'm not in the same situation. But i know of those who are in your position.

I hope i'm not rude but do you feel you lack the company or sexually?

Personally, I think you need some guys who can join you for a drink (if you drink) and supper mates and just chill and talk.

I'm sure if you approached anyone here most here (some are perpetually pissed) and i'm sure we're open to making friends and all .

take it easy You are not alone.

[Guest Married and Lonely]

You in the same boat ? How do you handle this ? Yes, life would not be the same again. One of my greatest fear is that my family would be destroyed by my venturing out. Anyone in my situation, ventured out and come to a happy ending ?

understand is great to know some one who is same boat, more easy & comfortable to " share " & chat, however once you are out, slowly your " circle " and risk will be increase to get identity expose, esp if you are sexy & hot, you are dangerous if you encounter someone that are too " friendly ", you have to be mentally prepared, your life wont be same again.

[Guest Married and Lonely]

My current closet friend is my colleague. I know for sure he will be able to tolerate me if I open up but I think my relation will never be the same again.

I think one of my problem is I tend to like people who are like me. Closet and very small social circles. But don't manage to find these people or because their social circle is so small, we tend not to cross paths.

Oh.. I feel for you. It must be very hard being in your shoes.

Just open yourself up to your closest friends. It's much better to lose a few friends (who are not really your friends after all) than spending your whole life in closet. Do go to gay bars and all those gay places, you'll find a lot of dudes in similar situation.

[Guest Married and Lonely]

Thanks.

open up to closest friends who may even know ur wife ... and risk ur marriage ....

think b4 u act.

[snowball]

Married and Lonely, i not sure is that another solution to register as a member here so others can pm you,

if you feel insecure then is ok, cos if you go to most chat room, they mainly seek sex

Edited September 2, 2010 by snowball

[jus106]

Sounds pretty much the same as my life except that I think I have some frends to go for a drink on rare occasion. Well if you need to chat about stuff like family matters or the position u r in now, maybe we can connect and share.

U r definitely not alone feeling lonely.

[mature chn]

Thanks.

Hi married and lonely,

I guess I am some what in the same position as you before...but somewhat different as well. I am also looking for someone to chat and chill out with. If you like to, I won't mind to get connected with you.

Cheers

:thumb:

[Guest guest A]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

Hi Married and Lonely

You may want to read this: www.themenandwomeninmylife.blogspot.com or this: www.bilikeme2.blogspot.com that detailed their married lives. The former is in a similar situation as yours.

[Sphinx010101]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

Hi, I think we share the same sentiments and if you would like to further chat on this, you may want to msn me at sphinx010101@hotmail.com..

[MarriedTop]

Hi, I think we share the same sentiments and if you would like to further chat on this, you may want to msn me at sphinx010101@hotmail.com..

I think we share the same sentiments and if you would like to further chat on this, msn me at Married_Top@hotmail.com

[soxite]

I think we share the same sentiments and if you would like to further chat on this, msn me at Married_Top@hotmail.com

I think one will have to be selective of friends to know, especially those who are straight acting if they are not married. As long as there is something in common like sports or hobbies, it's easier to explain to your wife why you are hanging out with these group of people. But there will be risk if one day your wife gets to know them and something leaked, otherwise will have to keep them apart from your wife. Of course when in the streets if you bump into them, might still have to say hi but would be better to have a clear understanding at the beginning. It's not easy to find someone to talk to but looking at the postings here, you might be able to find a few good kakis to go out for simple activities (guy activities, like me trying to learn roller blading to join some of the forumers here or go for a run with some of them) and drinks (good ol beer, he he and classy one would be wine at a nice bar). Perhaps you can gather a group but not too big and those whom you feel you can trust. No need to review too much on initial meetings and just go with the flow. Too bad, I am not married ... don't think can be part of your 'team'.

[MarriedTop]

Soxite, seems like has doubt on my marriege status.

Thank you for overlooking me.

I am married with 3x kids ...

[Guest Guest]

I think my character makes me a loner as I'm very strong in my opinions. I'm lonely because of my strong character. Even in office, I tend to eat alone. Also, as I'm often either as work of at home, I don't socialise much. Meeting up with friends after work is rare. Probably did not happen for 5-6 years ?

Strong character? Eat alone? Don't socialise? for 5-6 years?

Could it be you are just a self-absorbed ARSEHOLE?

Perhaps what you need is a big fat dick up yoour manhole to wake you up.

[soxite]

Soxite, seems like has doubt on my marriege status.

Thank you for overlooking me.

I am married with 3x kids ...

Er ... my reply overlooking? He he ... I just click the first reply button I see but in general, I think my statements is for all. Regardless, MarriedTop, you have three kids and you have doubt? As in you think you are gay and not even bi? I am not married so won't be able to understand fully someone in that situation but always a willing ear if you need. I won't say I am good anywhere but at least I can understand the part of being lonely as in no one to talk to about gay stuff ... of course, for those of us who are attached, sometimes we also need a ear from another to talk about the issues we have with our partners.

[Guest Yahoo]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

We are in the same boat. Email me : conradrh@ yahoo. com

Anyone like me ?

[Bimarriedtampchn]

First

KNOW YOUR FEARS

- fear of getting disease

- fear of being with gayish guys and be seen by colleagues

- fear of getting out of closet and can't resist temptation

- fear of being discoverd by family

KNOW WHAT YOU DONT WANT

- dont want to harm your family

- dont want to be disturbed by persistent guys

- dont want anal and oral, risky acts

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

- just want to have simple fun

- just want to have hangout buddies to share thoughts with and have simple fun as well

DONT BE SCARE OF SAYING NO

Snowball is correct, once you are out, you will slowly open up to more and more risky behaviours unless you are able to exercise self control. TAKE NOTE. ORAL AND ANAL IS NOT SAFE.

[fab]

How does your wife feel?

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

[Guest Married and Lonely]

She does not know. In all other aspects, we are an average Singapore family.

How does your wife feel?

[Guest Married and Lonely]

You may be right. I am probably a self-absorbed something, though I may not know it... but not arsehole lah.

I need to take sometime to reflect and see whether I should change my personality or not. I bear with it and continue to live this way. If I change my personality, then how would my family take it. My wife at home doing housework and look after the children while I just come back and spend a few hours with them each day. If I were to go out and leave it to her, it would be a bit unfair. I can now only take advantage of the 1 evening that they are not at home. But I still find it difficult to explain if my friends or her friends see me with people outside... cause I've not done that for a loooong time, even before I'm married ! My wife knows I don't have friends and all of a sudden, I begin to socialise, what do I tell her ?

I'm thinking my orientation is lesser to do with my situation now. Thanks for those words.

Strong character? Eat alone? Don't socialise? for 5-6 years?

Could it be you are just a self-absorbed ARSEHOLE?

Perhaps what you need is a big fat dick up yoour manhole to wake you up.

[Guest surelyugessian]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

do u have a hobby, things u like to do when u are absolutely free?

like listen music, watch movies, read books, cycling, tennis...etc

share with us what u like to do. maybe some here may have similar interests.

learn to socialise more with people of similar interests.

later u can expand the circle of interest to include your colleagues.

[Guest friend]

hi Married and Lonely

Just curious - how old are you? Like someone said earlier, u should think about registering in this forum so that people can email you privately. Also, you can try to go to a community centre nearby your house and get involved in some activities that you like. That way, you get to know more people in a different setting (most will not know each other as well) and you can try to be friendlier or more approachable. I think your family will be supportive since it is only 1 or 2 evenings per week and only about1.5 to 2 hours each - and they know where you are as well

rgds