Of Love Struggles & Cries Of A Married Gay Man + Cheating Married Men Leading Dual Life (compiled)

[Bimarriedtampchn]

Hi Married lonely

Maybe we can meet for tea/wangjiao/yakun/starbucks.... im sure we have a lot to discuss. I dont really socialise too. feel free to email me at c_k_h1@hotmail.com

Hear from you soon.....

[Guest guest]

First

KNOW YOUR FEARS

- fear of getting disease

- fear of being with gayish guys and be seen by colleagues

- fear of getting out of closet and can't resist temptation

- fear of being discoverd by family

KNOW WHAT YOU DONT WANT

- dont want to harm your family

- dont want to be disturbed by persistent guys

- dont want anal and oral, risky acts

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

- just want to have simple fun

- just want to have hangout buddies to share thoughts with and have simple fun as well

DONT BE SCARE OF SAYING NO

Snowball is correct, once you are out, you will slowly open up to more and more risky behaviours unless you are able to exercise self control. TAKE NOTE. ORAL AND ANAL IS NOT SAFE.

Many thanks for telling us your dos and don'ts, because most of us will not wanna waste time with a pussy like you.

Never seen a....man ....with so much hang ups.

Makes me wonder why would any woman will want to marry anyone as dumb as you.

But I am sure she has more balls than you.

[Married_Man]

I've created this account.

Married and Lonely, i not sure is that another solution to register as a member here so others can pm you,

if you feel insecure then is ok, cos if you go to most chat room, they mainly seek sex

[rotikawin]

I dont really socialise too.

two discreet closet married gays who rarely socialise arranging for a meet up...

sounds like a nice little satirical short film...

[Guest kyle c]

two discreet closet married gays who rarely socialise arranging for a meet up...

sounds like a nice little satirical short film...

take it away, mr boo...

[rotikawin]

Kylec

It takes empathy to appreciate satirical short films.. Get it?

[fab]

She does not know. In all other aspects, we are an average Singapore family.

Do u think she feels lonely too?

More importantly, do u think its fair to her?

[Guest FattChoy88]

Just take up squash or swimming.(Honest)

Or you can go to church and talk to God. (Sarcastic)

Strong character? Eat alone? Don't socialise? for 5-6 years?

Could it be you are just a self-absorbed ARSEHOLE?

Perhaps what you need is a big fat dick up yoour manhole to wake you up.

[cock brand]

Feeling lonely is a state of mind.

You can be going out with a large group of people or living in a very large extended family and yet feel lonely.

On the other hand, you can be alone all by yourself in your room and yet do not feel lonely.

I think you should be belonging to the first group.

From your own description, I believe you should be between mid 30s to early 40s.

Just take a look at your own profile -

Married, with kids in primary school, holding a regular job.

And you complained that you are lonely.

Your loneliness is definitely not due to lack of company.

With kids in primary school, they are old enough for interaction, meaningful communication and parentage bonding with you!

There are just so many things you can do together with them, how can you ever be lonely?

And its so strange that only your wife and kids are involved in the hobbies, what about you, why didn't you joined them?

Seems like you are not very "connected" with your own family!

The problem probably is your "loner" character; you are emotionally "detached" from them and everyone else.

And I believe you are also not close to your parents and siblings either.

I think your big problem is not so much about loneliness per se but rather having an unfulfilled gay sexual urge!

Your intention is have gay sex, better at his place, on a regular basis without having to go to spa or go cruising, fearing being found out.

It seems more likely you are longing to have a gay fxxk buddy.

Your not looking for real friends because with your loner character and your endless undue worries, you will never make any.

So what if you get to meet a few people like yourself, where you think it'll lead you to you?

However, before you decide to embark on any sexual adventure in the near future, just spare a little thought for your wife and young kids.

[Married_Man]

I assume you are not married. Single people have single problem. Married people have marriage problem.

Before I was married, I didn't expect some of the problems of 2 person staying together. Before I have the first one, I also didn't expect what problems my first one would bring me. THen the 2nd one, and comes along the problem of having 2 children. THen Kindergarten problems. Primary 1 problem, etc,etc, education problem. Wife and mother problem. In-law problems. Of course, it's not just problem. When I overcome one problem or accept one problem, I grow wiser (I guess.. but not wise enough to solve this problem...)

Why I'm saying this ? I think you cannot understand how I feel at all. But it's ok. I have to accept what others would think of me. And this is another reason why I keep things to myself and make me even lonelier.

Do u think she feels lonely too?

More importantly, do u think its fair to her?

[Married_Man]

The part you wrote about me and my family.. not correct. But I think you have help me understand myself better in the second part. I probably have an unfulfilled urge and the rest that you said may be true. Thanks.

Feeling lonely is a state of mind.

You can be going out with a large group of people or living in a very large extended family and yet feel lonely.

On the other hand, you can be alone all by yourself in your room and yet do not feel lonely.

I think you should be belonging to the first group.

From your own description, I believe you should be between mid 30s to early 40s.

Just take a look at your own profile -

Married, with kids in primary school, holding a regular job.

And you complained that you are lonely.

Your loneliness is definitely not due to lack of company.

With kids in primary school, they are old enough for interaction, meaningful communication and parentage bonding with you!

There are just so many things you can do together with them, how can you ever be lonely?

And its so strange that only your wife and kids are involved in the hobbies, what about you, why didn't you joined them?

Seems like you are not very "connected" with your own family!

The problem probably is your "loner" character; you are emotionally "detached" from them and everyone else.

And I believe you are also not close to your parents and siblings either.

I think your big problem is not so much about loneliness per se but rather having an unfulfilled gay sexual urge!

Your intention is have gay sex, better at his place, on a regular basis without having to go to spa or go cruising, fearing being found out.

It seems more likely you are longing to have a gay fxxk buddy.

Your not looking for real friends because with your loner character and your endless undue worries, you will never make any.

So what if you get to meet a few people like yourself, where you think it'll lead you to you?

However, before you decide to embark on any sexual adventure in the near future, just spare a little thought for your wife and young kids.

[cock brand]

The part you wrote about me and my family.. not correct. But I think you have help me understand myself better in the second part. I probably have an unfulfilled urge and the rest that you said may be true. Thanks.

In that case, I do hope you are a good husband and a good father.

Maybe I had interprete you wrongly from your descriptions.

Perhaps you are not experiencing loneliness afterall but instead suffering from a deep frustration and yet unable to talk to anyone.

Coming to this Forum may not help you in the right way.

Here, with some luck, you may meet someone for some fun. It'll definately offer you some relieve to you pent-up sexual frustrations.

There are no short of predators out here waiting eagerly to try you out!

However, what you really need is a long term solution to your problems.

How about going for some man-to-man talk at Oogachaga?

OCMSM Hotline 626-86-626 (MAN TO MAN)

Hopefully, they may help you to see things from another perspective.

Good luck!

[fab]

I hope that I dont sound like I am judging u.

Everyone will have problems, straight or gay.

So is your issue now, having problems or loneliness?

Nevertheless you have chosen the path of getting married so u should respect and live by your choice.

Honestly I find that "loneliness" is simply a lousy excuse for one to commit adultery.

Recall the day when you took your oath that your will stick through thick and thin with your wife?

However if u really think that your present lifestyle is something that u can no longer tolerate, u should muster your courage to change it.

Be fair to everyone.

I assume you are not married. Single people have single problem. Married people have marriage problem.

Before I was married, I didn't expect some of the problems of 2 person staying together. Before I have the first one, I also didn't expect what problems my first one would bring me. THen the 2nd one, and comes along the problem of having 2 children. THen Kindergarten problems. Primary 1 problem, etc,etc, education problem. Wife and mother problem. In-law problems. Of course, it's not just problem. When I overcome one problem or accept one problem, I grow wiser (I guess.. but not wise enough to solve this problem...)

Why I'm saying this ? I think you cannot understand how I feel at all. But it's ok. I have to accept what others would think of me. And this is another reason why I keep things to myself and make me even lonelier.

[Married_Man]

By current standards, I'm a very good father. But I don't know about the husband part. Any family will have issues, being able to come to solve them or come to terms with them is what keeps the family together. Important thing is to look at the big picture and not focus on oneself too much. Focus on the family and children and the future. I'm a very hands on father. Most ladies would pick a reasonable good looking and financially well off husband, not looking into the future of the things to come when they have a family. Then problem comes. Husband is always out with friends, or working hard and ignore the family. This is what most of my colleagues are facing. I'm on the other extreme.

I really want to thank you. I think you may be right. THere could be just the other dimension to my feelings that I'm not in touch with. And I'm deeply frustrated but I can't share with anyone.

Being a very family oriented father, I can see my problem now. I don't have my own space. I lost that balance of self and family... contradicting what I said earlier, isn't it ? I understand now, it's a matter of balance.. or what the buddhist says "middle path". And people are either here or there but not able to find that balance.

I will try to look at it from this angle and see how I can fill that emptiness I have inside me.

Thanks. I will be forever grateful to you.

In that case, I do hope you are a good husband and a good father.

Maybe I had interprete you wrongly from your descriptions.

Perhaps you are not experiencing loneliness afterall but instead suffering from a deep frustration and yet unable to talk to anyone.

Coming to this Forum may not help you in the right way.

Here, with some luck, you may meet someone for some fun. It'll definately offer you some relieve to you pent-up sexual frustrations.

There are no short of predators out here waiting eagerly to try you out!

However, what you really need is a long term solution to your problems.

How about going for some man-to-man talk at Oogachaga?

OCMSM Hotline 626-86-626 (MAN TO MAN)

Hopefully, they may help you to see things from another perspective.

Good luck!

[Married_Man]

Actually, I cannot remember my oath ! I don't know if you have gone through it. Going to ROM is once in a lifetime thing and I was very nervous. I really didn't know what was happening. Same for my wedding day. When I attend other people's wedding... what a drag ! But when it comes to mine... time just flies... do this... do that... and it's over. Getting married is easy, really. There is nothing to it. When your parents ask you to do this or that, just do it. When your relative or anyone ask you to do something, don't think, just do it. Easy. I don't recall most of the things that happened already. Now I know why we need to take photographs for wedding !

I think my problem is loneliness and most likely to be what cockbrand says: frustration.

I don't support adultery. But I think the world is now so convoluted that there are many things as bad as adultery. Husband who spends all his time on computer games, ignoring the family. I see husbands who don't talk to their children. I'm not trying to find an excuse (may be I am). But I think things are now too complicated to focus on a single issue. So my immediate concern is to make sure that my children grows up to be good citizen, have a reasonable level of education, be filial, etc. Whether they make a lot or a little, really does not matter to me. I think it's fated. I think my wife also shares the same goal and that's what jells the family together. So when these thought that prompted me to start this thread came, I am looking at the over all picture. Again, I think many people would not agree with me and I admit, what I am doing is wrong, by any standards. I am not perfect. Please give me that little space for me to twist and turn and hopefully, I will come to my senses and you are also satisfied with the outcome.

I hope that I dont sound like I am judging u.

Everyone will have problems, straight or gay.

So is your issue now, having problems or loneliness?

Nevertheless you have chosen the path of getting married so u should respect and live by your choice.

Honestly I find that "loneliness" is simply a lousy excuse for one to commit adultery.

Recall the day when you took your oath that your will stick through thick and thin with your wife?

However if u really think that your present lifestyle is something that u can no longer tolerate, u should muster your courage to change it.

Be fair to everyone.

[Married_Man]

One of my favourite songs is Teresa Teng's 千言万语. I sang since I was a boy. Now I feel the same .. 不知道為了什麼憂愁它圍繞著我

[fab]

For clarity purpose, din u say "I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun". Isnt this tantamount to adultery?

Nevertheless, I m glad to know that u have come to realize which direction to be heading.

May God bless u.

Edited September 7, 2010 by fab

[kimlo777]

I'm married. Is always in office or at home. Hardly go out. Don't have friends except colleagues. Don't socialise with them either. I dare not reveal myself to others as I don't know what will happen after that. Thought I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun.

On the whole, I feel very lonely.

Anyone like me ?

I am married too and have been having tryst outside of my marriage but sometimes feel this emptiness in my life (though not all the time since I belong to a loving family). Be glad to meet up with you and share our thoughts etc. If you are interested email me kimlo777 at yahoo dot com

we can just be plu friends who can understand each other and give each other the moral and emotional support; not necessarily sexual in nature.

[Married_Man]

You have to forgive me. I'm not very clear in my thoughts. And I think I'm in self denial also. I don't want to defend my self on this.

For clarity purpose, din u say "I must admit I do sometimes meet people for simple fun". Isnt this tantamount to adultery?

Nevertheless, I m glad to know that u have come to realize which direction to be heading.

May God bless u.

[Guest bluesky66]

You have to forgive me. I'm not very clear in my thoughts. And I think I'm in self denial also. I don't want to defend my self on this.

Hi married man,

I have been following your postings all these while & can greatly understand your thoughts & feelings.

Hope you would be able to clear your thoughts soon & hear from you again.

Cheers.

[Married_Man]

I've just updated my BLANK Facebook and see if I can connect up with my old friends and colleagues again.

Hi married man,

I have been following your postings all these while & can greatly understand your thoughts & feelings.

Hope you would be able to clear your thoughts soon & hear from you again.

Cheers.

[tyan]

Hi Married Man,

I guess when one gets married. It is more on committment and responsibility. There could be a dual side in you juz like many bi out there.

Try looking at the bright side instead of focusing on your emptiness. This might help. If you need time/space for yourself, you need to create it.

Go and do something you like. If you continue this way, u will feel difficulty breathing eventually.

[Guest open marriage]

Actually, I cannot remember my oath ! ...Going to ROM is once in a lifetime thing and I was very nervous. I really didn't know what was happening. Same for my wedding day... time just flies... do this... do that... and it's over. ... When your parents ask you to do this or that, just do it. ...I don't recall most of the things that happened already.

I think my problem is loneliness and most likely to be what cockbrand says: frustration.

I don't support adultery. But I think the world is now so convoluted that there are many things as bad as adultery. Husband who spends all his time on computer games, ignoring the family. I see husbands who don't talk to their children. I'm not trying to find an excuse (may be I am). But I think things are now too complicated to focus on a single issue. So when these thought that prompted me to start this thread came, I am looking at the over all picture. Again, I think many people would not agree with me and I admit, what I am doing is wrong, by any standards. I am not perfect. Please give me that little space for me to twist and turn and hopefully, I will come to my senses and you are also satisfied with the outcome.

Hi Married Man,

There is the option of open marriage too. Some husbands and wives have not much of problem of their spouses having ONS with others. There are also swing parties in Singapore where couples (straight couples) cum together and exchange spouses just for a few hours of sex.

Hence it need not be adultery - when both parties to a marriage are agreeable to sex with others.

Even if it is adultery, you need not be too hard on yourself - this world is full of imperfections and sufferings. Just try as much as you can to minimize sufferings, especially sufferings you may cause to others.

At least in your mind, you ought to be able to accept the idea of your wife having sex with another man / woman so as to be fair to your wife.

[bigis4me]

You may be right. I am probably a self-absorbed something, though I may not know it... but not arsehole lah.

I need to take sometime to reflect and see whether I should change my personality or not. I bear with it and continue to live this way. If I change my personality, then how would my family take it. My wife at home doing housework and look after the children while I just come back and spend a few hours with them each day. If I were to go out and leave it to her, it would be a bit unfair. I can now only take advantage of the 1 evening that they are not at home. But I still find it difficult to explain if my friends or her friends see me with people outside... cause I've not done that for a loooong time, even before I'm married ! My wife knows I don't have friends and all of a sudden, I begin to socialise, what do I tell her ?

I'm thinking my orientation is lesser to do with my situation now. Thanks for those words.

Being a Therapist we tend to meet many different people and with different problems too. Most of them come with aches and pains but just come for massage and there are somewho come for an outlet to talk. I have met and actually made quite afew friends with married men who come for massage and talk and man can they talk. I think myself as a good listener and never do i try to judge anybody. We all need a friend or somebody to cry on but how many people are willing to be there for others. I do hope you sit down and think of where do you want your life to be headed to as you dont want a burn out too .

[Guest Doraemon86]

I have a bf who is married man with 2 kids. He might want to share his thought too.

Having relationship with married man is really tough! But I think it's even tougher for him to deal with so many problems. After read through these posts, I guess all married man in our circle dealing with similar problems. I try to be an understanding person.

[Guest daxuan]

Anyone here who are gay and are married ?

How you cope with your urge ? Do you really love your wife ?

Would you give up your family ( wife and child ) if you have met someone you love ?

[Guest doremo]

I have a bf who is married man with 2 kids. He might want to share his thought too.

Having relationship with married man is really tough! But I think it's even tougher for him to deal with so many problems. After read through these posts, I guess all married man in our circle dealing with similar problems. I try to be an understanding person.

I think I am in the same situation as you.

Is your bf a 'bi' or gay ?

[chubby_guy00]

i am married with kids. looking for a regular guy for discreet fun. I prefer married guy as parnter as you see only married guys can mutual understand each other.

[Guest GE]

me too

hey....I luv chubs too....hehehe

[Guest Butted]

-Married and Lonely-

Manage your loneliness and overcum it if you wanted to stay married.

Once you are out mixing with gay stuffs and got addicted, its no turning back. You will then glorify promiscuosity and stuffs like that...unless you are willing to accept a new "you" instead of a boring you.. If you are unlucky enough, you might bring some stds home. Many gay meeting started off with a cuppa, praising each other and ended up in bed. From light fondling leading to hardcore that you cant get from your old wife.

[Guest wake up]

Hey, all married man here

Wake Up!

If you already chosed to marry a woman, then dont fxxk around with men. What is loneliness? Stop all the excuses, if you already have a family,(be it forced, to please the family or bi)do something and be a resposible person, there are lots of activities to do in Singapore for yourself and your family, pls dont cause harm to your innocent wife and children. fxxking around with men will not stop your boredom and loneliness, stop deceiving yourself and others. Times and life is already so bad, BE A RESPONSIBLE MAN. GOD blessed.

[Guest sexually open marriage]

Hey, all married man here

If you already chosed to marry a woman, then dont fxxk around with men. What is loneliness? Stop all the excuses, if you already have a family,(be it forced, to please the family or bi)do something and be a resposible person, there are lots of activities to do in Singapore for yourself and your family, pls dont cause harm to your innocent wife and children. fxxking around with men will not stop your boredom and loneliness, stop deceiving yourself and others. Times and life is already so bad, BE A RESPONSIBLE MAN. GOD blessed.

The above comment is overly simplistic.

When a married man have sex with other men or even form a romantic long-term relationship with other men, it does not necessarily mean that he is not responsible and it also does not mean that he is harming his family.

Some marriages are sexually opened. I know of such cases due to my job. Some of these wives sleep with other men, and these wives do not mind their husbands sleep with others. More than once, I was given permission by husbands to have some fun with their wives. I also read in the papers about married couples in Singapore coming together to exchange spouses for sex. (it is called swing parties)

So you are free to practice your version of morality on yourself, but please respect the freedom of others to live with their different values.

[Guest ~charming~]

Here we have a Mr. "Married and Lonely" who is seeking help for his unresolved identity crisis.

There comes along a flock of "whoever-they-may-be helpful souls" who are keen to volunteer meeting up with our dear Mr. "Married and Lonely" and claiming that simply by chatting with them will improve his family and personality issues... hmm, I really wonder.

I can't help myself but got to agree with Mr. "cock brand"... His words definitely worth some pondering and are to-the-point! "Wake up! Wake up all of u confused minds out there!"

So what were u thinking when u've decided to marry that woman?

So what's your intention in life when u've decided to have kids?

So u know yourself so well u've decided to call yourself a loner... but then u can't stand feeling lonely... huh?

When u're deciding for yourself, please for goodness sake be straight to the point... It's your life, don't bluff yourself!

If u're after sex outside your marriage, then say so.

If u've regretted embarking on your present situation, then do something to change it.

Worst still, if u know u're fully responsible for someone else dearest in your life, then stop all your wild imagining and carry out your duty before u cause more mess to your life!

Think again... No one ever said it's easy to lead life, but why lead a messy one when u can lead a peaceful one!

[snoopyman]

When I'm with them, I'm not lonely. But there is this secret in me that I harbour inside me. I feel like talking to somebody. I wonder am I alone ?

Where r u work? If near jurong I can company u to have lunch

[Guest dadian]

Where r u work? If near jurong I can company u to have lunch

i hv a gay friend from china, he has an illegitimate daughter back home and he is contemplating to married the child's mother.

do u guys think he will regret ?

he is essentially gay as he has confessed ie he likes and can only be in-love with men and he has no special feelings for women.

[Guest Guest]

The above comment is overly simplistic.

When a married man have sex with other men or even form a romantic long-term relationship with other men, it does not necessarily mean that he is not responsible and it also does not mean that he is harming his family.

Some marriages are sexually opened. I know of such cases due to my job. Some of these wives sleep with other men, and these wives do not mind their husbands sleep with others. More than once, I was given permission by husbands to have some fun with their wives. I also read in the papers about married couples in Singapore coming together to exchange spouses for sex. (it is called swing parties)

So you are free to practice your version of morality on yourself, but please respect the freedom of others to live with their different values.

Would you mind if your wife has similar morals and values as yours.

While you are sucking someone else's cock, she is sucking someone else's cock too? :thumb:

[sohorny]

If a person is married/in a relationship, he or she should not be fooling around with another person (regardless of gender). Enough said.

[Guest Guest]

It's ok to be in a same sex relationship but not ok to "fool around" when you are in a relationship. Whose moral standard is that ? YOURS ? Seems like you pick and choose whatever suits you better and you then pass judgement on others based on your own moral standards.

If a person is married/in a relationship, he or she should not be fooling around with another person (regardless of gender). Enough said.

[Guest delee]

Hi Married Man,

I guess when one gets married. It is more on committment and responsibility. There could be a dual side in you juz like many bi out there.

Try looking at the bright side instead of focusing on your emptiness. This might help. If you need time/space for yourself, you need to create it.

Go and do something you like. If you continue this way, u will feel difficulty breathing eventually.

Hi Married Man,

I can understand your situation. I am married with 2 kids too. just like you, beside my work, still have to think about all the needs of the family, tutoring the kids, play with them, bring them for enrichment class... After a long while, you will get burn out..

Suddenly, we realised that we need someone that we can relate to, to spend time with beside our family... Sometime, there is only so much a wife can relate to.. Just as when we were kids. We like to spend time with the guys and talk about guys things and do the guys stuff...

We are all human afterall...

[Married_Man]

Thanks for the note. I know I'm not alone.

How do you get over this phase ? Have you already ?

Again. Thanks very much.

Hi Married Man,

I can understand your situation. I am married with 2 kids too. just like you, beside my work, still have to think about all the needs of the family, tutoring the kids, play with them, bring them for enrichment class... After a long while, you will get burn out..

Suddenly, we realised that we need someone that we can relate to, to spend time with beside our family... Sometime, there is only so much a wife can relate to.. Just as when we were kids. We like to spend time with the guys and talk about guys things and do the guys stuff...

We are all human afterall...

[sohorny]

I believe that anyone (male or female) who is married, or (not and) in a straight/gay relationship shouldn't be unfaithful to his or her partner. The word is monogamy. And if anyone out there has a problem with my theory, it will be your problem not mine.

[Guest Guest]

I don't have a problem if you live by your monogamy and you are NOT gay. Don't pick and choose your morality and impose it on others.

I believe that anyone (male or female) who is married, or (not and) in a straight/gay relationship shouldn't be unfaithful to his or her partner. The word is monogamy. And if anyone out there has a problem with my theory, it will be your problem not mine.

[Guest dadian]

Hi Married Man,

I can understand your situation. I am married with 2 kids too. just like you, beside my work, still have to think about all the needs of the family, tutoring the kids, play with them, bring them for enrichment class... After a long while, you will get burn out..

Suddenly, we realised that we need someone that we can relate to, to spend time with beside our family... Sometime, there is only so much a wife can relate to.. Just as when we were kids. We like to spend time with the guys and talk about guys things and do the guys stuff...

We are all human afterall...

Hi Married

Do you regret marrying ? If things were to start all over again , would you choose the path to be single and probably have a partner who is a man ?

[sohorny]

I wonder why some people get so upset? Probably because they're guilty and ashamed by their own doings?

[Guest Guest]

I wonder why some people get so upset? Probably because they're guilty and ashamed by their own doings?

You are jabbing the internal slut in them. They feel guilty but yet want to justify their actions. :clap:

[Guest Sporty]

I'm married and lonely too. I much of a gay than bi. My fantasy on men is always very strong. And stronger as I'm much free nowadays. I thought to overcome all these fantasies by doing many sports, like going to the gym, swimming & jogging. But all these do not help when the urge is there. Because of the love of my family, I restrain myself many times when I was approached by gay. I find it very hard and I don't know how long more I can resist myself.

[snowball]

放弃或坚持，是每个人所会面对的难题.

过惯平淡的婚姻，想改变生活方式?

是自私也罢，是借口又如何?

别让自己活得太累，对自己诚实的当儿, 最重要的，不要伤害你身边所爱的人

世事总不会尽如人意，如何选择操纵在你手中。

Give up or insist something that you longed for,

is the difficult decision that everyone have to face / make,

balance and think of the consequence you may encounter if expose,

honest to yourself and choose the right path that suit you best.

most important, do not hurt someone that you love most.

life is yours, only you can decide for your own,

cheers

Edited September 30, 2010 by snowball

[Guest dadi]

I'm married and lonely too. I much of a gay than bi. My fantasy on men is always very strong. And stronger as I'm much free nowadays. I thought to overcome all these fantasies by doing many sports, like going to the gym, swimming & jogging. But all these do not help when the urge is there. Because of the love of my family, I restrain myself many times when I was approached by gay. I find it very hard and I don't know how long more I can resist myself.

Since you have strong urge for guys , why do u married in the first place ? do u regret ? can you make love with your wife ? how u reject her if you don't want to hv sex with her ?

[doncoin]

My best friend was married. Got divorce ultimately. They parted on good terms. Staying married for the sake of the marriage will only make the wife and you unhappy in the long term. The thing he said that he hated about the whole thing most, is the guilt he has to deal each time he cheated on her with another guy. Went through counseling, therapy etc. In the end the message was the same: You are a big homo.

Another friend is still married. Wife knows that he is gay. They maintain separate housing. He stays in the city during the week because of work, and goes home on the weekend to spend time with her and the kids. They even go on vacation together. But again that is because after 20 years together, they have become best friends.

Relationships are complicated. It takes honesty and to all married men out there, you need evaluate your priorities. What makes you happy.

[tyan]

The stronger the resistance, the bigger the impact. The same goes to urge. The longer you suppress, the more bigger it will explode one day.