Guest 2080 Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 After meet up They always find excuses and hints to ask me to back off or indirectly telling me not to waste my time on them .The excuses are as below and it happened to me ALL THE TIME 1) Seeking for friends as for now 2) I can't get over my ex 3) I thought of getting back with my ex Look. I know that the problem lies on me which is why they react like this but I can't seems to find the roots of the problem lies on me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 You really shouldn't bother with people who don't hold you dear enough to tell you what your problem is. And until you find the one who does, stay right where you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedict5856 Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Yr looks. Get a plastic surgery. Facts of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 No amount of plastic surgery a/o physical modification can fix a personality issue. #FactofLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chan Chee Wai Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 No problems tht can lie on you...take it easy!No need to be so sad....move on! I believe that there is a Mr. Right for you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fatoflife Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 No amount of plastic surgery can fix a neon pig.#factoflifeI mean fat of life.Liposuction might help wind 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Yr looks. Get a plastic surgery. Facts of life. Your benepig look. Go get eaten. Facts of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) After meet up They always find excuses and hints to ask me to back off or indirectly telling me not to waste my time on them .The excuses are as below and it happened to me ALL THE TIME 1) Seeking for friends as for now 2) I can't get over my ex 3) I thought of getting back with my ex Look. I know that the problem lies on me which is why they react like this but I can't seems to find the roots of the problem lies on meif you cannot take indirect hint, how you can accept the true facts, are you too desperate having bf in the first place? Edited May 8, 2015 by snowball hans2310 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Maybe it is just a funk you are going through. At the same time, perhaps you need to examine your behaviour with them. Talk to a therapist. Get your emotions tuned up. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeannyShortcake Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Perhaps you should reevaluate your motives for the meet up and see if that reconciles with the people you're wanting to meet. Or you just could just stick with chatting online and leaving it at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Is it because you showed them a misleading, outdated, or outright fake photo of yourself before the meetup? If so, you can't really blame the others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ant Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 1. Looks/body2. Personality The first one is enough to destroy you. Have met many gays who want a cute and charming boyfriend, but are they as good? They should lower their expectations MORE... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 No spark means no spark. Not sure what you're upset about. Would you rather they lead you on with false promises? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azimuth Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 Seems like you are meeting people for the first time to evaluate LTR possibility? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorzguy Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 Hmmm...not quite sure what was "agreed upon" prior to meeting up. Even if the agenda has been spelt clearly, some may still hope/wish/pray - something more would have happened. Go with no expectations. Anything good, will be a bonus. Else, just move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 72%dark Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 It sounds like the people you're meeting may just be trying to be tactful or to reject you without hurting your feelings. For example, maybe they don't find you good-looking but they can't exactly say outright, "You're unattractive", so they say something else (with the intention) to spare your feelings, some variant on the old "it's not you, it's me" line. Or maybe it's something else, but to say outright, "You're not the kind of person I'm looking for", might seem abrupt given the context. In other words, I wouldn't automatically assume that they're trying to "lie" out of malice or some other bad motive. Nor is it realistic to expect that people always tell you exactly what they really think; all kinds of white lies and various degrees of dissembling are commonplace in everyday social interaction simply to avoid possible unpleasantness, loss of face, conflict. Remember, the less well someone knows you, the less sure they'll be of how badly you might react to hearing something unpleasant, so anyone would be cautious about saying something possibly upsetting.If as you say it happens 'all' the time then perhaps you're right in wondering if there's some trait of yours that's driving people away. And if this is the case then certainly it's frustrating not to know what it is and not to be told. Unfortunately this is no different from having, say, a job application rejected; people hardly ever take the time to explain what it is that makes you an undesirable candidate. The next time you meet someone and get one of those stock 'excuses', you could try just asking the person to be brutally honest with you. In the meantime, your own close friends or family members would be in a better position to help you make an educated guess as to what it might be (rather than strangers on an online forum). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anddomtake Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeD Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 Agreed Anddomtake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedict5856 Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 No amount of plastic surgery a/o physical modification can fix a personality issue. #FactofLifeI am very shallow person. I go for looks first. No looks, how nice his character also no use.Looking at fuglies, I don't think can get a hard-on. For personality, I prefer to seek from friends.And usually ugly ppl will say- its the character that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 I am very shallow person. I go for looks first. No looks, how nice his character also no use. Looking at fuglies, I don't think can get a hard-on. For personality, I prefer to seek from friends. And usually ugly ppl will say- its the character that matters. We all have our preferences, there's nothing shallow about that. The same could be said to you that, no matter how good-looking or filthy rich one is, bad character just makes some people go soft. I'd rather have good-looking friends so I could learn a few tricks of self-grooming, but someone who has a good personality as a boyfriend (I wouldn't say the same for one nighters). And why's that? Looks don't last, but personality rarely, if ever, changes. It's called "planning ahead". Also, those who tell you "looks are all that matters" are usually the ones with attitude problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ant Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 I am very shallow person. I go for looks first. No looks, how nice his character also no use.Looking at fuglies, I don't think can get a hard-on. For personality, I prefer to seek from friends.And usually ugly ppl will say- its the character that matters.Don't worry, 99% of gays are as shallow as you. No wonder so many gays are singles, and they probably will be forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 TS, they are honest to you, telling you that you are not good enough, you are the one trying to lie to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedict5856 Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 (edited) Don't worry, 99% of gays are as shallow as you. No wonder so many gays are singles, and they probably will be forever.Most ppl are shallow. Guy or girl, gays or lesbian. Looks first, character later (and much later)When we walk orchard road, a cute guy walk past, what we do? Look at him, asif we want to eat him up.Do we talk about his personality?Its all natural first reactions. Edited May 8, 2015 by benedict5856 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puppyfart Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 they may not be lying - they could truly be just seeking frens.... in any case, it's all part o life, I donno wat is the issue... Starstrike 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 (edited) Most ppl are shallow. Guy or girl, gays or lesbian. Looks first, character later (and much later)When we walk orchard road, a cute guy walk past, what we do? Look at him, asif we want to eat him up.Do we talk about his personality?Its all natural first reactions.This may come as news to you but most people *are* able to rise above their base desires for something more... long term. Edited May 9, 2015 by EasleyLim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedict5856 Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 This may come as news to you but most people *are* able to rise above their base desires for something more... long term. When ppl use grinder, growlr, etc, what did they look out for first? Looks/bodyWhen ppl go sauna? Looks, body....when ppl go gym.... looks, body....Its not low-grading. Its part of human nature. We all want the best. How many of gays are seriously attached for long term? How many ex-bf u have, to date?I believe most ppl have at least 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 (edited) 人与人的交往，人与人的相识，都是从利益关系发展。你欣赏他的谈吐，你迷恋他的外表和一切包装，你和他，一定要有一定的基础条件才会发生之后的结果，这可以是物质或虚荣的需求，否则将不会有延续。每个人心中都有一把尺，当你开始以自己的标准来衡量别人时，也别忘了，别人也可以站在同一个天平来称量。一厢情愿，只会徒增苦恼。 Edited May 9, 2015 by snowball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest James Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 Looking at the reasons u cited, those they used to subtly ask you to back off, I think the problem could lie with u appearing overly eager to progress too quickly with them? People are likely to feel uncomfortable if they sense that you seem to be pressurizing them to go towards a particular direction too quickly. Whether before meet up or during meet up, I think it's important to keep an open mind, bear no high expectations, have the mindset of just meeting a new friend first. That way things can progress more naturally, and people would likely warm up to you better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gongtang Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 U got to flirt with them. Give him that eyes. Laugh at his jokes even when you dont understand what the heck he is talking about. This laughing thing is soooooo true, they love it. Lol Keep his mind thinking of u.Omgosh, girl, u need a total m.a.k.e.o.v.e.r in ur dating skill. U got to up that game..But pls do not get affected too much because of the rejections. You got to be confident. I do get rejection maybe 1 out of 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyboard Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 Rather than posting an opened-ended question which just lists you all the possible answers, why not take a leap, post your pictures, stats, dicks, personality and let our helpful members give you honest, no-holds barred evaluation and see if any of them is true. Then you can improve (if possible) and go from there. You can have everything in the world, but would mean nothing to the person who likes you for you. mate69 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedict5856 Posted May 10, 2015 Report Share Posted May 10, 2015 I always feel that people who goes for looks always go for someone better looking than themselves. And if you have so many ex, it just goes to show how fugly you are. LOL. If I have many ex, it means I am rich. My riches can buy me happiness. After few months, I will dump them. And they begging for me. Fugly or not, its not important to me. In this world, money talks.Shallow or not, I don't think it concern u. I have been wondering, are u one of my ex that I dump last time?U can continue to insult me but it's over. Move on with yr life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted May 10, 2015 Report Share Posted May 10, 2015 If I have many ex, it means I am rich. My riches can buy me happiness. After few months, I will dump them. And they begging for me. Fugly or not, its not important to me. In this world, money talks. Shallow or not, I don't think it concern u. I have been wondering, are u one of my ex that I dump last time? U can continue to insult me but it's over. Move on with yr life... I was thinking guys at your age lived in the era where when something is broken, they fix it, and not just buy a new replacement. Looks like I'm mistaken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 10, 2015 Report Share Posted May 10, 2015 I was thinking guys at your age lived in the era where when something is broken, they fix it, and not just buy a new replacement.Looks like I'm mistaken. Oy! He is not a guy. He is a PIG, OK? If I have many ex, it means I am rich. My riches can buy me happiness. After few months, I will dump them. And they begging for me. Fugly or not, its not important to me. In this world, money talks. Ok then, you are fugly. Shallow or not, I don't think it concern u. I have been wondering, are u one of my ex that I dump last time?U can continue to insult me but it's over. Move on with yr life... Sorry.... I don't do PIGS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mirror Posted May 10, 2015 Report Share Posted May 10, 2015 After meet upThey always find excuses and hints to ask me to back off or indirectly telling me not to waste my time on them .The excuses are as below and it happened to me ALL THE TIME1) Seeking for friends as for now2) I can't get over my ex3) I thought of getting back with my exLook. I know that the problem lies on me which is why they react like this but I can't seems to find the roots of the problem lies on meIt is a polite way of rejecting you. Your meet up can't be too straight forward. Move on from there, it is obvious you are not their type. No point lying to you and gave you false hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ant Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 Most ppl are shallow. Guy or girl, gays or lesbian.Looks first, character later (and much later)When we walk orchard road, a cute guy walk past, what we do? Look at him, asif we want to eat him up.Do we talk about his personality?Its all natural first reactions. I don't believe purely in looks. I choose my bf 80% on looks and so lucky that he comes with a pleasant 80% personality. Dated quite a cute guy for over 2 months and he was very nice and patient with me. Sadly, my hunch tells me he isn't serious so I have to end it before hurting anyone of us. Do we talk about personality? My answer is Yes, unless you do NOT want a long-term relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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