Golf Discussion 2, Golf Joke, Quote, Etc

[crazygolfer]

Golf quote:

 

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.

 

~ Arnold Palmer

[crazygolfer]

Golf Joke: My golf buggy

 

One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"

"It’s Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.

"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.

She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."

After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."

"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!" I said.

Edited August 22, 2015 by crazygolfer

[crazygolfer]

Golf Joke: Women And Golf

 

2 women were playing golf. On the third hole there was a 4-men in front of them but about 175 yards down the fairway. 

 

The first woman said i'll tee off he is far enough away. She hit the drive of her life, like a shot straight down the faraway. She screamed fore at the top of her lungs and as the men turned one was hit solidly. He was rolling on the ground in pain with his hands between his legs.

 

She ran to him, apologizing and saying "let me help I am a physical therapist." He protested but she got him to put his hands at his side. She unzipped his pants and began massaging him. 

"How does that feel?" she asked. He said, "Great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
 

[crazygolfer]

Golf Joke: Mini meanie

 

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. 
"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win." 

"Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily. 

When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?" 

"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar

[crazygolfer]

Golf Joke: Golf balls

 

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1,000.

She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1,000?" He replied "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them @ $10 per dozen ."