Sugar Daddies & Seekers Discussion [Anyone Posting Ads Will Be suspended!] (compiled)

[Sweetie Pie]

Alright, alright!    If "Sugar Daddy" has any meaning at all, I have no idea what it means or who it refers to. In contrast to the straight world, where "Sugar Daddy" is frequently shown in drama films as a tycoon surrounded by mistresses each with gift of large houses and cars and endless cash to splurge, no one has persuaded me of Sugar Daddy's function in the gay community, if it is even remotely feasible.   This topic kept my eyes rolling.  May be we should all  dream of something more probable instead. 

Edited November 3 by Sweetie Pie

[Steve5380]

On 11/3/2024 at 3:01 AM, Sweetie Pie said:

 

Alright, alright!    If "Sugar Daddy" has any meaning at all, I have no idea what it means or who it refers to...

 

 

I understand,  and although I agree with the Moderator's criticism,  perhaps you are innocent if you have fallen for some of the Christian doctrine that paints the God as such a benevolent figure, who created the Universe, the World, and everything in it...  FOR US!   But perhaps you are not familiar with the Old Testament,  where the God of Israel had quite a heavy hand with humans around him.  No "sugar" at all!

 

And, if you look into, you will find that the God of Abraham, enhanced by Catholicism who divided him in three, is just the opposite of a "Sugar Daddy" to us the GAYS and homosexuals in general,  who according to the religious has the biggest abhorrence for gay sex!  (making one wonder how an infinitely powerful God can get so upset over such a small thing... )

[Steve5380]

On 9/10/2024 at 12:42 PM, GachiMuchi said:

 

 

My sharing is a cautionary warnings to people and not a show off of my past of how great I was at the receiving end of being a sugar baby. I never felt proud of my past and had never thought of using my looks or body to attracts people to get money, gifts, etc.  It happened at a time when I was a young and naive and learned my lessons.  I also do not encourage anyone to follow my footsteps. 

 

If at 30s you still want to be unrealistic and expects to be treated as a sugar baby, you really need to take a hard look and yourself.... what can you offer to the table... are you gorgeous and you are good fucker...etc.

 

I would enourage you to earn your own keep.  There are no free lunches!

 

 

I share your same feelings about being the subject of sugar daddies.  I was attractive when young and I noticed that some people were after me,  but in the closet I was unaproachable.  If I had fallen for someone, I would not feel any shame like we should not feel for what happened when we were young and inexperienced.  

 

You probably never had a need to become a sugar baby to relate to people you liked, and you never initiated such a relationship.  Neither did I,  but circumstances drew me into what could be considered to be a sugar daddy.

 

I met my bf, who became the love of my life, when he was in his early 30s.  Physically attractive, but what drew me to him was his spirit.  A modest guy from a poor Mexican family, with only a basic education, but what a kind soul! In our early interaction I naturally paid for most since I was 20 years older, but he was careful not to make me spend much money (unlike some other cute young guys I had affairs with).  Shortly after we met, he started to have health problems and once he was fired from his job for being gay!  Given his situation, I asked him to come to live with me.  He accepted, but said that he was going to contribute with expenses.   Little-by-little I convinced him that he didn't need to pay for utilities and other expenses since I had them already and he was not contributing much.  In the end, he lived with me for free, even if he had found other jobs,  and I convinced him to instead send money to his family in Mexico.

 

There was symbiosis in the relationship  (  NOT symbiosexual, ha ha ), and he was, and still is, a big contributor to my happiness. After a while he was recognized as disabled, and he received a pension from Social Security.  Yet I continued to be his support, and his caretaker for his medical condition. His family appreciated me and considered that I was his "Guardian Angel".  This stuck with me, and now I hold him as MY Guardian Angel who looks out for me from the afterlife.  

 

Well... I don't want to relate so much personal,  but my message is that sugar dads and sugar babies can convive without this being a case of exploitation, but an exchange of love in different ways.  Let's always aim for love!

.

Edited November 4 by Steve5380

[koolkai]

On 7/7/2015 at 10:04 PM, Guest poster said:

I met someone in his twenties some time ago and after 2 weeks, he mentioned about going for a holiday. It is taken that I will pay for the trip as I have been paying for all meals. 2 weeks later, he asked to go for a holiday again.

 

This is the second young man who asked to go for a holiday after a few meals and I felt uneasy cos I was never like that myself. When I was in my 20s, even though I had an older man who offered to fly me to Japan and stay in a hotel, I never accepted. 

 

I am prepared to go for a real friendship but these 2 instances somehow tell me that these guys are only there for some good time.

 

Daddies, what are your experiences? perhaps, the market practice is to offer a free overseas trip after getting to know each other?

 

Daddy seekers, what do you say?

 

[koolkai]

Yes, the relationship should be mutual and not trying to take advantage of the older guy. To me, financially independent is more important than depending on soneone. 

[Sweetie Pie]

I met someone who I mistakenly believed to be "Sugar Daddy," but who is actually "Sugar Mommy." He is really needy, like a girl, even though I thought he was extremely affluent, lived on a landed home, and lavished me with food at ATAS restaurants. So incredibly strange that I finally managed to elude him with a 10-foot pole and decided to hide at the edge of the universe so that "she" wouldn't be able to find me at all.  As a result, I have "PTSD" and became less adventurous in the gay world.  

[k13v]

3 hours ago, koolkai said:

 

When daddy or daddy sugar being mention, one need to understand where it will endup. I m open to young or mature.. but if to know other and the objective is money. Then I move off.

[Str8curioustwink]

.

Edited November 15 by Str8curioustwink

[LeanMature]

On 11/5/2024 at 11:37 AM, k13v said:

When daddy or daddy sugar being mention, one need to understand where it will endup. I m open to young or mature.. but if to know other and the objective is money. Then I move off.

 

First thing first, you need to make known that you are not "sugar" daddy,  that means "go Dutch" on the first outing.  If he paid for the first outing, then you should reciprocate on the second. 

[OMOMO]

How to know if he really is a sugar daddy?

 

I used to chat with this guy on telegram as i was seeking for a sugar daddy

 

but kept asking me to send pictures before meeting and i have not met him before. 

 

anyone had experienced this or whats your take on it?

[singalion]

On 11/3/2024 at 5:01 PM, Sweetie Pie said:

Alright, alright!    If "Sugar Daddy" has any meaning at all, I have no idea what it means or who it refers to. In contrast to the straight world, where "Sugar Daddy" is frequently shown in drama films as a tycoon surrounded by mistresses each with gift of large houses and cars and endless cash to splurge, no one has persuaded me of Sugar Daddy's function in the gay community, if it is even remotely feasible.   This topic kept my eyes rolling.  May be we should all  dream of something more probable instead. 

 

May I ask what age you are?

 

The reason of my question relates to the fact that in many of your posts you don't reflect much knowledge of gay life and matters. 

 

Edited December 11 by singalion

[singalion]

A very good gay friend of mine, who didn't have very affluent parents and intended to "earn" money for university studies went in his early 20s to live with a 49y old Caucasian in HK, but ended as a wreck who needed ( not only good friends ) but psychological treatment to return some self confidence in him. He was verbally and physically abused for 3 years by his sugar daddy, locked most of the time into the rich guys house. The sugar daddy had taken his passport, but he had a valid stay permit. When the sugar daddy had bad mood or some business deal at his daddy's office went wrong he was at the fancy of his abuse. Despite the fact that he had everything at the home he wanted and at the earlier time was enjoying a high profile life in HK , it later turned to a life in prison. 

 

I personally assume that in the later stage the boy was also sexually abused. It was a topic I didn't want to touch when I met him again after he escaped through the help of a maid at the neighbouring or opposite house, who caught his attention and was able to sneak in the gate when his sugar daddy drove off to work before the gate fully closed again. After settling some administrative things with the Embassy ( new passport etc) he was able to return to Singapore. The last months he wasn't paid what was promised because his daddy "wasn't satisfied with boy's services".

 

=> Be carefull because some wealthy sugar daddies think they can buy everything. Often such sugar daddies also begin to have a habit of wanting to abusively dominate their "partner". 

 

It can turn to a nightmare. 

 

[singalion]

59 minutes ago, OMOMO said:

How to know if he really is a sugar daddy?

 

I used to chat with this guy on telegram as i was seeking for a sugar daddy

 

but kept asking me to send pictures before meeting and i have not met him before. 

 

anyone had experienced this or whats your take on it?

 

My take: the real true sugar daddy would meet you at a high class dinner outlet and talk, but if you 're not his type, he would leave the place but settle all expenses after you ordered and before he leaves or might pay an upfront budget at the restaurant. 

 

My second take is: if you ask such questions, would recommend to better not step into this sugar daddy thing... 

 

Sorry if I m very blunt... but my intention is to avoid any problems later on that you may encounter. 

If you really want to step into that sugar daddy thing, read up first on the internet and gain more experience in it like do's and don'ts...

 

[doncoin]

1 hour ago, OMOMO said:

How to know if he really is a sugar daddy?

 

I used to chat with this guy on telegram as i was seeking for a sugar daddy

 

but kept asking me to send pictures before meeting and i have not met him before. 

 

anyone had experienced this or whats your take on it?

 

It really comes across as perspective or POV thing. 

 

If I take a guy I like to a nice restaurant, on me, it's not that I am a sugar daddy. It's because I want to create a situation where I can get to know the guy better. Consider the time and money spent on the restaurant an investment. I would pick a quieter restaurant where we can have a leisurely conversation without being rushed or have to speak up due to the noise level. 

 

So it is not about money, it is about being able to spend quality time. Having said that, I'm not a sugar daddy, but I am far more advanced in my career given my years of working and age, I am compensated accordingly. Sure, I may have relatively expensive tastes, but by no means, it translate to I will take care of your financially until you turn 30. As I've shared before, I am ok helping out a little financially here and there, but I am in no position to fund another person's life. 

 

To give some perspective, a client/friend of mine who is very wealthy is in his 60s. Twice-divorce, and has a 20-something year old girlfriend. He pays for her apartment in the city, and some pocket money which allows her to maintain a certain lifestyle that most 20-something women would be envious of. She "works" mostly on her music and her social media. I was sent demo tracks of her "singing", but the whole white girl doing Christian rap/pop thing is definitely not her genre but I was too polite to tell my client/friend who was so excited about it. Furthermore, she is too old to break into the scene to be honest being in her mid-20s I think. Pop stars are manufactured when they hit their tweens. 

 

To me, this client/friend meet my definition of a "sugar daddy." So if you believe you have what it takes, go hang out at private clubs or yatch clubs, or where rich men gather. Ask friends who work in private banking to invite you to their parties and events. You will find sugar daddies at those places. 

 

 

 

 

[Thatguy642]

34 minutes ago, doncoin said:

 

It really comes across as perspective or POV thing. 

 

If I take a guy I like to a nice restaurant, on me, it's not that I am a sugar daddy. It's because I want to create a situation where I can get to know the guy better. Consider the time and money spent on the restaurant an investment. I would pick a quieter restaurant where we can have a leisurely conversation without being rushed or have to speak up due to the noise level. 

 

So it is not about money, it is about being able to spend quality time. Having said that, I'm not a sugar daddy, but I am far more advanced in my career given my years of working and age, I am compensated accordingly. Sure, I may have relatively expensive tastes, but by no means, it translate to I will take care of your financially until you turn 30. As I've shared before, I am ok helping out a little financially here and there, but I am in no position to fund another person's life. 

 

To give some perspective, a client/friend of mine who is very wealthy is in his 60s. Twice-divorce, and has a 20-something year old girlfriend. He pays for her apartment in the city, and some pocket money which allows her to maintain a certain lifestyle that most 20-something women would be envious of. She "works" mostly on her music and her social media. I was sent demo tracks of her "singing", but the whole white girl doing Christian rap/pop thing is definitely not her genre but I was too polite to tell my client/friend who was so excited about it. Furthermore, she is too old to break into the scene to be honest being in her mid-20s I think. Pop stars are manufactured when they hit their tweens. 

 

To me, this client/friend meet my definition of a "sugar daddy." So if you believe you have what it takes, go hang out at private clubs or yatch clubs, or where rich men gather. Ask friends who work in private banking to invite you to their parties and events. You will find sugar daddies at those places. 

 

 

 

 

I mean, I think it’s possible to be successful in your mid 20s as a singer, but only if you actually have the talent and the whole package I guess!

[doncoin]

5 minutes ago, Thatguy642 said:

I mean, I think it’s possible to be successful in your mid 20s as a singer, but only if you actually have the talent and the whole package I guess!

 

 I agree with you, but only in certain genres of music. To be a pop singer would be very difficult and challenging to market. Think of any pop singer you know, they all started young, in their teens for most of them and many had their fan base established before they turned 21. 

 

Well, I believe she is going to stick around for a while longer since she is a smart girl and social climber. After my friend, I am sure she will have no problems finding an investment banker boyfriend as long as she can pass for under 30. Many of such women ended up as second wives or third wives. The goal is to produce a child, and she is secured financially. 

 

Unfortunately, for gay twinks looking for sugar daddies, bearing a child is not an option. So be mentally ready to be aged out. 

Edited December 11 by doncoin

[Beerguy]

Life is strange that the more you don’t want committing to something, the more you are given opportunities. All the way into my 30s, I have offers of sugar daddies wanting to “own” me but none I willing to accept. I don’t like the idea of people giving me monthly expenses and luxurious housing. 

I prefer to be free do what I like and even staying in a small HDB or condo is ok just be cosy with guys I like to hang out.

Unless the sugar daddies are really my type of guy but mostly if they show off their rich high class lifestyle, that already makes me want to puke already.

[singalion]

7 hours ago, Thatguy642 said:

I mean, I think it’s possible to be successful in your mid 20s as a singer, but only if you actually have the talent and the whole package I guess!

 

Let's assume the singing is probably not the only reason why the straight sugar daddy financially supports  the girl!

 

Stressing her singing talent is probably just a knee jerk reaction to justify her payment by intending to telling others she has talent and is a sort of Return on Investment... 🤣

 

 

[singalion]

8 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

It really comes across as perspective or POV thing. 

 

If I take a guy I like to a nice restaurant, on me, it's not that I am a sugar daddy. It's because I want to create a situation where I can get to know the guy better. Consider the time and money spent on the restaurant an investment. I would pick a quieter restaurant where we can have a leisurely conversation without being rushed or have to speak up due to the noise level. 

 

So it is not about money, it is about being able to spend quality time. Having said that, I'm not a sugar daddy, but I am far more advanced in my career given my years of working and age, I am compensated accordingly. Sure, I may have relatively expensive tastes, but by no means, it translate to I will take care of your financially until you turn 30. As I've shared before, I am ok helping out a little financially here and there, but I am in no position to fund another person's life. 

 

To give some perspective, a client/friend of mine who is very wealthy is in his 60s. Twice-divorce, and has a 20-something year old girlfriend. He pays for her apartment in the city, and some pocket money which allows her to maintain a certain lifestyle that most 20-something women would be envious of. She "works" mostly on her music and her social media. I was sent demo tracks of her "singing", but the whole white girl doing Christian rap/pop thing is definitely not her genre but I was too polite to tell my client/friend who was so excited about it. Furthermore, she is too old to break into the scene to be honest being in her mid-20s I think. Pop stars are manufactured when they hit their tweens. 

 

To me, this client/friend meet my definition of a "sugar daddy." So if you believe you have what it takes, go hang out at private clubs or yatch clubs, or where rich men gather. Ask friends who work in private banking to invite you to their parties and events. You will find sugar daddies at those places. 

 

 

 

 

 

A) talk before sex

If it is for sex, then I wouldn't go for any fancy or not fancy restaurant to get to know any people.

I wouldn't call that being a sugar daddy also.

 

To be honest, I often found guys uninspiring and a turn off after we talked resulting that my initiative for any sex after the talk reached zero.

 

If you want sex often it is better to just meet up and get onto the sheets.

 

But I understand that there are guys who prefer to have a certain chat with a potential sex partner and prefer to meet out of the house or hotel and sip a coffee with talk first.

 

Anyhow, would never bring any guy (meant to meet for just sex) to any fancy (expensive) restaurant or treat, as they may misunderstand the situation and it would expose you to negative results eventually  (Extortion attempts, theft, repeated messages of asking for money or loans etc).

 

Actually, even with decent means, for sexual encounters I would avoid looking like showing off on wealth and sorts.

 

However, there are exceptions, but I tend to more the guy who after fun may compensate with inviting the other to a restaurant or on a second/ later meet up to meet for lunch / dinner etc first. Even in such cases would avoid going to any fancy high class establishments. Try to stay grounded with such more or less casual sex partners.

 

Let's say it is a matter of personal preference and attitude.

 

B) Financial aid

Sure, on terms we might give some financial "aid". But for me it would be a signal to stop sexual activity. And I would expect some return by other means, either later giving some money back or at least making efforts in inviting me, taking me out and if it is just a simple normal shop at Geylang or somewhere else.

 

 

C) Sugar daddy definition

I guess the true sugar daddy is the one who expects sexual favours

(1) by sponsoring either a life style (that the other party can't afford) or

(2) by giving a weekly/monthly allowance

resulting in the sugar boy (the receiver of the financial support) rendering sexual acts only with the expectation of getting such financial means.

 

Yes, it must not be just the above. A sugar daddy can also repay a loan on behalf of the sugar boy who took a loan or paying installments (buying a car, property etc) or paying the rental of the sugar boy's flat, study fees etc.

 

 

D) Common characteristics of sugar daddies

What I noted is that the majority are busy working adults or wealthier guys who have a busy work environment, frequent travel obligations etc but who want some sort of sexual/social same sex relationship with another person (mostly the attractive 20s boy). Many of them had failed gay relationships or tend to be lonely guys. When they got free time, they either plan to have their toy boy around or being able to share some social life with him. (Latter is not always must).

They prefer something more regular instead of searching for another new sex partner everytime.

But certainly I encountered also guys who aren't that rich and sponsor other guys for sex.

There is also a share that has a separate life (married/ ex married single fathers (with kids) etc) but prefer a regular gay sex partner instead of casual sex flings.

Money/ Financial favours often "buys" them a young attractive sex partner for some time being.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 12 by singalion

[del_ta]

On 12/12/2024 at 12:29 PM, singalion said:

a separate life (married/ ex married single fathers (with kids) etc) but prefer a regular gay sex partner instead of casual sex flings.

 

Are people open to that sort of arrangement in real life? Seems to be TV or stories only. After my divorce I have been thinking about how best to move forward with my life without drama and stepmother for my kids. From my chats I gather most expect to develop the relationship further - whether male or female

[singalion]

On 12/13/2024 at 9:52 PM, del_ta said:

 

Are people open to that sort of arrangement in real life? Seems to be TV or stories only. After my divorce I have been thinking about how best to move forward with my life without drama and stepmother for my kids. From my chats I gather most expect to develop the relationship further - whether male or female

 

Yes, there are guys who have "second" wives (and even kids with them). 

 

Some married guys who are actually gay also have male bf and sponsor the boys life financially. 

 

It's not just some "tv soap opera" thing. 

 

 

[del_ta]

On 12/15/2024 at 7:57 AM, singalion said:

sponsor the boys life financially. 

 

Oh. Is that a common expectation? Sounds messy. So a regular confidant must be paid for?

[singalion]

16 hours ago, del_ta said:

 

Oh. Is that a common expectation? Sounds messy. So a regular confidant must be paid for?

 

Why "confidant"?

Sugar daddies are not exclusively in the closet.

 

I assume it is more a matter of ease, to return to a place where your sex partner awaits you.

the con is simply that the boy expects to be paid.

 

In my personal assessment I often see the financial pay more as the fear to lose the partner (and the sex).

the financial benefit probably keeps the thing going (until maybe the boy has enough (in terms of being a sex toy and on monies received).

 

 

 

[del_ta]

On 12/17/2024 at 12:46 AM, singalion said:

the financial benefit probably keeps the thing going (until maybe the boy has enough

 

so it's true, money can't make everything last forever.

[Steve5380]

20 hours ago, del_ta said:

 

so it's true, money can't make everything last forever.

 

Money or not money, NOTHING lasts forever.  Yes, since WE don't last forever.

 

Like you, after my divorce I have also been thinking on how to proceed with my life.  Since I had no obligation anymore towards a partner, I decided to discretely enable my gay nature, and I joined the gay scene. Here I didn't shy of relationships, usually with younger gays since I was starting my 50s.  And so I met the bf of my life, 20 years my junior.  He lived with me for 21 years until he passed away.  I could have been considered to be a "sugar daddy" since I was the oldest and in the best economic situation.  But there was little of that.  He never asked me for any money or favors, it was natural that I was the main economic resource of the couple like I had been the economic support previously as the head of the family with wife and kids.   And I didn't "support" him with the expectation of sex.   Instead, it grew in me some love like I had not felt previously,  and this love has not abated since he passed away and will stay with me for the rest of my life.

[doncoin]

I was doing some Christmas shopping over the weekend, picking up gifts for close friends. While browsing the scented candles in the perfume section of a department store, a relatively young guy—probably in his early 30s—started playing with my dog. We struck up a conversation as he asked about my dog’s breed, temperament, and personality.

 

A short while later, an older gentleman joined us, clearly accompanying the younger guy. He was juggling several shopping bags and listened as the younger guy enthusiastically told him all about my dog, saying this was exactly the kind of dog he wanted. The older gentleman seemed amused by the conversation, and then, with a knowing smile, handed the younger guy a lilac shopping bag.

 

The younger guy gasped with delight as he peeked into the bag—it was clearly a pair of designer shoes. I caught a glimpse of the brand on the box and those shoes must have cost at least $1,000.

 

We exchanged a few more pleasantries before they left. I continued with my holiday shopping and made my way upstairs to the in-house cafe. There was a live jazz band playing music, and after I got my coffee, I was looking around for a table, but there was none. Fortunately, the couple I met earlier, saw me and invited me to join their table.

 

Long story short. Older guy is a successful surgeon practicing at one of the major hospitals. Younger guy is a writer. Nothing published yet. They've been together about a year. Met at this very departmental store where the younger guy was temping then for the holiday season. Very nice couple, but you can tell who is supporting who. 

 

 

[Just Mike]

😉❤️❤️❤️

Edited Tuesday at 01:06 AM by Just Mike

[DonT]

Curious to know is sugar daddy relationship   in SG for real?

[Gozu]

How long can sugar daddy relationship last?

[passinthenight]

4 hours ago, Gozu said:

How long can sugar daddy relationship last?

 

 Usually when the money runs out or when the old boy kicks the bucket.

[aftereightme]

My gay friend had a sugar daddy before. He told me that his old man can be very hungry fucking him 3 to 4 times on weekends while 3 times on weekdays because there was a belief that old man could suck the youth of a young hansome man. I was frightened after hearing from him - sugar daddy could also a vampire

[mate69]

2 hours ago, aftereightme said:

My gay friend had a sugar daddy before. He told me that his old man can be very hungry fucking him 3 to 4 times on weekends while 3 times on weekdays because there was a belief that old man could suck the youth of a young hansome man. I was frightened after hearing from him - sugar daddy could also a vampire

 

Of course. No such thing as too much sex, no?

Edited Tuesday at 05:53 PM by mate69

[Steve5380]

22 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

Long story short. Older guy is a successful surgeon practicing at one of the major hospitals. Younger guy is a writer. Nothing published yet. They've been together about a year. Met at this very departmental store where the younger guy was temping then for the holiday season. Very nice couple, but you can tell who is supporting who. 

 

 

There should be NOTHING wrong with these two!  It is natural that a person with high income may be inclined to support, care for the need of those who have less or no money.   I have to think about my son,  also a successful surgeon, making a lot of money to support...  his wife and 4 children.  What's the difference with a "sugar daddy"?  He surely gets a lot of "sugar" from his family.  I also get "sugar" from him,  but then it is me who usually pays.   Am I the "sugar daddy" of a sugar daddy?   Perhaps! 

[doncoin]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

There should be NOTHING wrong with these two!  It is natural that a person with high income may be inclined to support, care for the need of those who have less or no money.   I have to think about my son,  also a successful surgeon, making a lot of money to support...  his wife and 4 children.  What's the difference with a "sugar daddy"?  He surely gets a lot of "sugar" from his family.  I also get "sugar" from him,  but then it is me who usually pays.   Am I the "sugar daddy" of a sugar daddy?   Perhaps! 

 

 

I didn't say there is nothing wrong with both of them. In fact I enjoyed their company. We spent about an hour chatting at the cafe in Bergdorf's. We actually realised we have some friends in common, especially the surgeon who works at the same hospital as one of my friends. 

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

 

I didn't say there is nothing wrong with both of them. In fact I enjoyed their company. We spent about an hour chatting at the cafe in Bergdorf's. We actually realised we have some friends in common, especially the surgeon who works at the same hospital as one of my friends. 

 

I didn't say that you said there is or is not something wrong with them.  I just gave my modest opinion about the topic.  And I would like to add to it.

 

It is and has been typical in society until recently that in a marriage, the husband has the function of working to earn the money, while the wife takes care of the household and then the children.  She depends on her husband's support, he does it because she loves here, physically having sex with her and/or emotionally with love.  If the husband stops supporting the family and instead spends it on other things, or does not like to work,  very possibly the wife will divorce him and look for some other man or source of money.  This is very natural, yet we don't think that the husband keeps paying because he is afraid that the wife will leave him otherwise.  And we don't tag him as "sugar husband". 

 

But there are cases in the straight world of "sugar husbands", rich older guys who BUY themselves a beautiful young girl to satisfy his sexual desires.  Again...  this is not looked down so much, except when there is envy for the guy with so much money. 😄

[Sweetie Pie]

On 12/24/2024 at 3:48 AM, doncoin said:

 The older gentleman seemed amused by the conversation, and then, with a knowing smile, handed the younger guy a lilac shopping bag.

 

The younger guy gasped with delight as he peeked into the bag—it was clearly a pair of designer shoes. I caught a glimpse of the brand on the box and those shoes must have cost at least $1,000.

 

If the older man did that to me, I would be quite uncomfortable.  Even if repayment is no required from him, I don't want to feel obligated to anyone.  I will continue to worry about him feeling hurt, about losing my freedom and independence to interact with my other closer friends, and about him frequently reserving my personal space or preventing me from disagreeing with him on anything.  What if....he gave you all these materialistic gifts with an agenda of wanting something even more from you in future? 

 

Am I thinking too much, or I have made an important point here?

[Strange Fruit]

22 hours ago, aftereightme said:

My gay friend had a sugar daddy before. He told me that his old man can be very hungry fucking him 3 to 4 times on weekends while 3 times on weekdays because there was a belief that old man could suck the youth of a young hansome man. I was frightened after hearing from him - sugar daddy could also a vampire

Someone’s been getting his HRT... 

 

In Singapore I personally find that most guys don’t reach their physical peak until they hit 30, maybe things have changed now with social media, the popularity of the epicene K-pop look, and guys being way more conscious of appearance than twenty years ago. So unless the main criteria of a sugar daddy is a youthful appearance and not masculinity (after all hyperfemininity, that very made-up, Kim Kardashian look, seems to be the main draw amongst most straight sugar daddies) I don’t really see the draw of an NSF over a 30-something guy, particularly if I happen to be over the age of 50. Moreover the cultural age gap is now a crevasse, I cannot imagine a 20-something guy will find much in common with a guy over 50, though of course in the context we’re discussing money can be a very strong Ideological glue. 
 

I won’t lie, In my younger days I would have liked a sugar daddy and now the only thing keeping me from outwardly finding one is a sense of ‘I’m too old for this’ rather than some sort of ethical code about personal responsibility or independence. I do like the finer things in life but now I know the difference between wants and needs. My life is a lot simpler now just out of circumstance, and I envy others a lot less. There are some luxuries I desire, and others I don’t care for at all. Fast cars and first class travel have never held much charm for me, and what I consider nice clothes somewhat eludes most people. I’ve also never, not even in my twenties, been particularly sexually-motivated as a gay man. 

[Beerguy]

2 hours ago, Strange Fruit said:

I do like the finer things in life but now I know the difference between wants and needs. My life is a lot simpler now just out of circumstance, and I envy others a lot less. There are some luxuries I desire, and others I don’t care for at all. Fast cars and first class travel have never held much charm for me, and what I consider nice clothes somewhat eludes most people. I’ve also never, not even in my twenties, been particularly sexually-motivated as a gay man. 

We have something in common. I have tasted luxury within my means without overreaching. If I cannot afford, I’m not tempted to have. I have driven fast cars and I do adore cars. Cannot afford owning the most luxury of them in this country. But I am satisfied with what I have. When it comes to clothing, I’m easy going. Anything that look good on me will do. 

 

I like to choose and buy my own things from cars to clothes. So sugar daddy for what? If he is significantly older than me, people will just assume that he is funding my lifestyle and wrongly believing that things I purchased with my own money came from him. 

[doncoin]

6 hours ago, Sweetie Pie said:

If the older man did that to me, I would be quite uncomfortable.  Even if repayment is no required from him, I don't want to feel obligated to anyone.  I will continue to worry about him feeling hurt, about losing my freedom and independence to interact with my other closer friends, and about him frequently reserving my personal space or preventing me from disagreeing with him on anything.  What if....he gave you all these materialistic gifts with an agenda of wanting something even more from you in future? 

 

Am I thinking too much, or I have made an important point here?

 

I think it all depends on the level of the relationship. Like the couple I met, they obviously have been together a while, and so I think there is less of an issue. But if it is someone you've met recently, I can definitely see your concern. 

 

Well maybe the "agenda of wanting something even more" could be a relationship? 

 

[doncoin]

@Strange Fruit I can vouch that there is very little in common between a 20-something and 50 year old. When I was seeing my two guys, they would want to listen to K-Pop, which I still have problems telling the performers apart. They all looked the same to me, and sound the same more or less. Apart from having perky butts, and nice personalities, there really isn't much we have in common outside of sex. 

 

Also, one time when i was Facetiming my mum, one of them happened to be in the background and decided to say hello. The next time when it was just my mum and I talking, she was like, I looked like a dirty old man. I didn't want to horrify her that there were actually two of them. She was like you need to find a more age appropriate guy.

 

Edited 8 hours ago by doncoin

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, Sweetie Pie said:

 

Am I thinking too much, or I have made an important point here?

 

 

No, this time you are thinking correctly.  To receive a gift can be nice, but it also creates a compromise.

 

Personally, I am totally opposed to SURPRISE gifts.  Unless the one giving it is completely sure that it fulfills a desire. Personally, the frugal me could find a lot of ways $1000 could be spent instead of on a pair of ... shoes.

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

@Strange Fruit I can vouch that there is very little in common between a 20-something and 50 year old. When I was seeing my two guys, they would want to listen to K-Pop, which I still have problems telling the performers apart. They all looked the same to me, and sound the same more or less. Apart from having perky butts, and nice personalities, there really isn't much we have in common outside of sex. 

 

 

Perhaps you are still too young to find that there can be a lot in common between a 20-something and an 80-something.  Outside of sex, of course,  it is in the UNDERSTANTING that comes with age.

 

2 hours ago, Beerguy said:

 

We have something in common. I have tasted luxury within my means without overreaching. If I cannot afford, I’m not tempted to have. I have driven fast cars and I do adore cars. Cannot afford owning the most luxury of them in this country. But I am satisfied with what I have. When it comes to clothing, I’m easy going. Anything that look good on me will do. 

 

 

I share your values, and I have never experienced, tasted luxury because it never inspired interest in me.  I have been too busy with practical aspects of life like profession, relationships, etc.  As a result, I think I have missed the opportunity to crave luxury because,  now at my age, good health plus full functionality plus clear mid is infinitely more important than luxury. Now I even have to force myself to spend money more freely given that I am not going to take it with me into the afterlife.  Back in the days my bf was still here, an acquaintance of him stole a valuable Rolex watch that I had got from my employer, which rested forgotten in its box in my closet.  I prefer my $50 Timex watch, ha ha.  And I didn't even mind losing the Rolex...

.

Edited 5 hours ago by Steve5380