Single & Living Alone Discussion (compiled)

[Guest loner]

On 7/10/2019 at 3:15 PM, Guest Food Kaki, My Foot! said:

It reminds me of going lunch in group with your colleague, you can't enjoy your food and felt compel to rush or eat slow according to the gang you are grouping with.  When I finally get to eat alone,  I enjoy every precious moment of chewing my food slowly and choose the type of food I love to eat and find the place I like to sit.   Same for being single.

I like to eat alone also. more freedom. according to what I wanted to do or to eat or how long I wanted to stay. and I don't have to think and find something to talk to others. I dun understand why people can't just not talking like will die like that. but if I utter this sentences I will be ostracised. but I just want ppl to understand not everyone is having alot of things to say. some ppl like to stay quiet.

[Guest guest]

3 hours ago, Curious94 said:

I feel that if we can learn to be independent and live happily being single, it would be better for relationships in the future. But of course, if our other half is too dependent then we might not like it or feel annoyed.

 

Just my personal opinion.

Being independent surely can live happily only if you have no health issue. But if you fall sick, being independent also no use. I think human being created not to be alone but need to mix with people.

[fab]

1 hour ago, Guest guest said:

Being independent surely can live happily only if you have no health issue. But if you fall sick, being independent also no use. I think human being created not to be alone but need to mix with people.

 

It's ok to live as a community but gist is not to have attachment.

[Curious94]

On 7/12/2019 at 11:01 PM, Guest guest said:

Being independent surely can live happily only if you have no health issue. But if you fall sick, being independent also no use. I think human being created not to be alone but need to mix with people.

 

Ahh yes that is true as well. 

[repressednerd]

On 7/12/2019 at 11:01 PM, Guest guest said:

Being independent surely can live happily only if you have no health issue. But if you fall sick, being independent also no use. I think human being created not to be alone but need to mix with people.

 

If I fall sick and really cannot move or anything, I'd have to resort to paying for a caregiver, or find a way to survive without relying on others. Been through that phase when I had no one to rely on. 

[Guest Eating alone]

On 7/10/2019 at 9:56 PM, Guest guest said:

Not eating lunch with your colleague is view by others as you are anti-social or loner. Eventually you might get out-casted by your colleagues if you continue such behavior.

Not true. Whether you are well liked by your colleagues is not dependent only on eating lunch with them. Rather its the daily dealings during work time where you show respect, helpfulness, consideration towards them. The outcast happens if you are the unfriendly, cold type.

[Guest Blank]

On 9/9/2018 at 1:13 PM, Guest sad said:

face too ugly

grinders immediately block me once i showed them my face pic

 

So mean

[Guest Maybe]

Those who are single and have their own place, how often do you invite men over for fun, threesome or orgies? Did you also rent your extra rooms to cute foreigners who are gay?

[Guest guest]

How are those staying alone handle this CB period? Since cannot go out meet friends and no one at home to talk to.

[fab]

[practease]

On 9/2/2015 at 10:16 AM, Guest I M your neighbour said:

Frankly speaking, I am lucky to own a 3-room HDB many years ago. If I don't have a HDB, I won't have a life. Here is my story against all odds:-

 

 

My parents won't want me to stay with them, my siblings felt uncomfortable with me squeezing in the same house because it was theirs. My so-called closed friends wanted to charge me high rental for renting a room,  I have no close relative.

 

 

Than I nearly fall for a guy whom I didn't love, so that I can join name with him for a HDB flat but he get to choose a location far far from my work place. During that time, I was still not eligble because of my age.  Than I went to Changi airport to sleep because I worked in Changi and to get away from naggy family members.  I went through all the obstacles and trauma, Than I worked hard for a purpose, save enough for the deposit and immediatey apply for HDB flat the moment I hit 35.

 

 

When HDB handed me the key and both me and the old landlard signed the document of transfer,  I was shivering with joy  The staff witnessed how excited I was and she was all in smile and polite.  I grabbed the key, run to my newly bought home, opened the door for the first time and saw my dream finally come true.

 

 

With limited budget, I bought my furniture from 2nd hand shop, painted my house pink and put on as much lamps and lighting to create warmth in my minimalist layout.  My first simple house warming was not very eventful. Friends who wanted to charge me high rental didn’t turn up and those who turned up makes a lot of criticism about me not having a big bed, no air-con and start giving their opinion as though I have all the funds to take their suggestion. Family turned up, they thought I wasted a lot of money on my home, they didn’t eat and left.

 

 

However I was treated, I felt good to have a home, to be myself and doing my own thing.  I was hesitant about renting out a room eventhough I am poor. This is because psychologically speaking, it was like giving up a part of my space which I have created for myself. I didn’t want to give up anything I worked hard for, if I have not quite explained the journey I’ve been through….

 

 

Than, I was blessed, the government selected my block for Home Improvement Programme.  I get to have my 2 dirty bathrooms (used by previous owner) fully renovated among many others features at extremely low fee.  I have a new door and gate being replaced under that scheme too. 

 

 

Am I afraid to stay alone and feel bored? The answer is clearly written in my story, NO! it was a tremendous joy, an achievement and finally FREEDOM!

 

In terms of circumstances we are very similar.

And I do agree, nothing beats having your own space and safe haven to go back to at the end of the day.

Keep fighting for what brings joy to your life.



 

[Singroc]

1 hour ago, Guest guest said:

How are those staying alone handle this CB period? Since cannot go out meet friends and no one at home to talk to.

Already use to it. No difference whether CB or no CB

[Guest Man in Cave]

1 hour ago, Guest guest said:

How are those staying alone handle this CB period? Since cannot go out meet friends and no one at home to talk to.

I guess no difference for those who have been living a life of anti-social and an introverted lifestyle.  In fact, this CB period, is a perfect set-up for these group of singles. Very dream-lite, very conducive and hope that it will continue forever more.

[repressednerd]

On 4/20/2020 at 2:05 PM, Guest guest said:

How are those staying alone handle this CB period? Since cannot go out meet friends and no one at home to talk to.

 

Doing pretty ok actually. Other than work from home, most of the time I'm on my computer for games, or trying to whip something up in the kitchen, or clearing the necessary housework. Got a pile of books I need to clear that would probably take months to complete. Barely have any time to think about talking with anyone. There are tons of documentaries on Netflix and YouTube that I haven't got down to watching.

 

I haven't really met anyone in person or talked to anyone on the phone (excluding work) since I started working from home in March. Don't feel a need to meet anyone either.

[ressac]

This CB bringing out all the repressed otakus in us all.

 

Watch anime / drama / films that nvr had chance to watch.

Re-read books / comics.

Spring clean bit by bit. 

 

WFH.... easily distracted. LOL

 

However if stuck at home with parents, thats gonna be another major issue. Love the parents but..... need some personal space.

[Billy]

On 4/20/2020 at 2:05 PM, Guest guest said:

How are those staying alone handle this CB period? Since cannot go out meet friends and no one at home to talk to.

Make no difference. Its your personality, to me 24 hours a day is never enough. There is just too much to do in life and have no time for boredom. Now cannot go to Karaoke, swimming and Library. Can still do marketing, cooking special food, reading, computers, mountain hiking near my place now. Cleaning and redecorating my home to suit myself. Never a dull moment. Thank you CB. Love every minute of it. 

[Guest guest]

On 4/20/2020 at 3:23 PM, Singroc said:

Already use to it. No difference whether CB or no CB

you mean you also stay home and don't go out during no CB days? 

[Guest guest]

On 4/22/2020 at 3:10 AM, repressednerd said:

 

Doing pretty ok actually. Other than work from home, most of the time I'm on my computer for games, or trying to whip something up in the kitchen, or clearing the necessary housework. Got a pile of books I need to clear that would probably take months to complete. Barely have any time to think about talking with anyone. There are tons of documentaries on Netflix and YouTube that I haven't got down to watching.

 

I haven't really met anyone in person or talked to anyone on the phone (excluding work) since I started working from home in March. Don't feel a need to meet anyone either.

At least you still got talk to people on phone due to work. Thought you can no need to talk to anyone from Mar until now?! I think it would be bad for your health if never talk to people at all.

[Guest guest]

4 hours ago, Billy said:

Make no difference. Its your personality, to me 24 hours a day is never enough. There is just too much to do in life and have no time for boredom. Now cannot go to Karaoke, swimming and Library. Can still do marketing, cooking special food, reading, computers, mountain hiking near my place now. Cleaning and redecorating my home to suit myself. Never a dull moment. Thank you CB. Love every minute of it. 

Good that you are adapting very well? Many people cannot adapt well on this CB due to their routine got mess up, like used to can go gym or karaoke, now cannot do at all. So they suddenly don't know what to do during this period.

[Guest Serenity]

 

On 4/22/2020 at 11:26 AM, ressac said:

However if stuck at home with parents, thats gonna be another major issue. Love the parents but..... need some personal space.

Not just with parents, but siblings too. Can be a very different mood as compared to being alone, in the tranquility of your own home.

[Guest I am Right!]

 

1 hour ago, Guest guest said:

At least you still got talk to people on phone due to work. Thought you can no need to talk to anyone from Mar until now?! I think it would be bad for your health if never talk to people at all.

You are so wrong!!!  Communication takes many forms.  You can sit infront of your computer doing youtube video by talking thru the camera.  You can talk to your dogs, cat or birds.  My friend talked to his parrot everyday.  You can also talk to yourself while doing house cleaning, and let your mind answer for itself "do need to throw away this, should I keep that,  I think this one look pretty, I should give this away...blah blah blah.".   Another form of communications is to write stories, pen your thought and let your mind flow on paper.   If you are a bitch, you can bitch about CB in hardware zone or any forums you felt comfortable.  Nobody want to be sitting with another person talking whole day.  It can be very brain damaging if the person you talked to, do not share the same chemistry as you.   My point is,  you are so wrong!

[mate69]

I love CB, simply love it.

circuit breaker, i mean

[mith]

5 hours ago, mate69 said:

I love CB, simply love it.

circuit breaker, i mean

 

alamak u.... i love the staying home part about CB, not the all shops close, go market must produce IC, grocery out of stocks part.

[Guest Gay Landlord]

Any landlord managed to rent out extra rooms to cute gay tenants? Especially since many young foreign men are working here. Heard a few older gay men do that and tenants become fuck buddies too. I know of a local gay couple who rent out for free if the foreign men become their fun buddies.

[Singroc]

13 hours ago, Guest guest said:

you mean you also stay home and don't go out during no CB days? 

Yes, usually at home unless need to buy things

[Singroc]

13 hours ago, Guest guest said:

Good that you are adapting very well? Many people cannot adapt well on this CB due to their routine got mess up, like used to can go gym or karaoke, now cannot do at all. So they suddenly don't know what to do during this period.

That’s why it’s good to have k system at home. Can sing at home

[Guest guest]

5 hours ago, mith said:

 

alamak u.... i love the staying home part about CB, not the all shops close, go market must produce IC, grocery out of stocks part.

I like CB but not the compulsory of wearing a mask when go out, even i go to a place where there are no people, also need to wear mask. Since my nose area would have rashes and my nose would get itchy when i wear a mask.

[Guest guest]

1 hour ago, Singroc said:

That’s why it’s good to have k system at home. Can sing at home

Please don't disturb your neighbours, even you sing karaoke during the day. Many people are working from home now.

[Guest guest]

3 hours ago, Guest Gay Landlord said:

Any landlord managed to rent out extra rooms to cute gay tenants? Especially since many young foreign men are working here. Heard a few older gay men do that and tenants become fuck buddies too. I know of a local gay couple who rent out for free if the foreign men become their fun buddies.

So happening.

[Guest Hush]

49 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

So happening.

 

It's common, some even turn their homes into private orgies. Know of a couple who have own place looking for a third to stay with them. Think they prefer young man from msia or china only, stay foc.

[Guest guest]

7 minutes ago, Guest Hush said:

 

It's common, some even turn their homes into private orgies. Know of a couple who have own place looking for a third to stay with them. Think they prefer young man from msia or china only, stay foc.

It is normal to prefer and want young man in gay community.

[Guest Hush]

8 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

It is normal to prefer and want young man in gay community.

 

Yup its a condo, apart from free sex, free gym and pool. Only prob couple not young (mid 40's) and looks/body average only yet fussy for the third. Typical gay singaporean mindset. 

[repressednerd]

16 hours ago, Guest I am Right! said:

 

You are so wrong!!!  Communication takes many forms.  You can sit infront of your computer doing youtube video by talking thru the camera.  You can talk to your dogs, cat or birds.  My friend talked to his parrot everyday.  You can also talk to yourself while doing house cleaning, and let your mind answer for itself "do need to throw away this, should I keep that,  I think this one look pretty, I should give this away...blah blah blah.".   Another form of communications is to write stories, pen your thought and let your mind flow on paper.   If you are a bitch, you can bitch about CB in hardware zone or any forums you felt comfortable.  Nobody want to be sitting with another person talking whole day.  It can be very brain damaging if the person you talked to, do not share the same chemistry as you.   My point is,  you are so wrong!

 

18 hours ago, Guest guest said:

At least you still got talk to people on phone due to work. Thought you can no need to talk to anyone from Mar until now?! I think it would be bad for your health if never talk to people at all.

 

I think this makes sense. Even if you don't talk to anyone physically, you are still mentally in conversation with yourself. I used to be posted somewhere overseas for a number of years where the people don't speak English much and I don't bother to learn the local language, so I could only talk to 1-2 person at my workplace in English. I spent my weekends (or long weekends) not speaking a single word, since I usually do online purchase or used machines to get my necessities (self-checkout machine at supermarket had English interface).

[bigdanbeam]

On 4/20/2020 at 2:05 PM, Guest guest said:

How are those staying alone handle this CB period? Since cannot go out meet friends and no one at home to talk to.

People who have been staying  alone will not have issues staying home, CB or no CB

[Guest guest]

1 hour ago, bigdanbeam said:

People who have been staying  alone will not have issues staying home, CB or no CB

There is a difference between CB or no CB. If no CB, if the person has been staying alone would not have issues cause he still can go out to do many things or meet friends etc. But now got CB, cannot go anywhere, cannot meet friends.

[Guest Lone Wolf]

15 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

 staying alone would not have issues cause he still can go out to do many things or meet friends etc.

Not true.  People staying alone are usually not very sociable.  Otherwise no point staying alone.  The meaning of alone is simply alone.  Don't change the definition.

[Guest guest]

11 minutes ago, Guest Lone Wolf said:

Not true.  People staying alone are usually not very sociable.  Otherwise no point staying alone.  The meaning of alone is simply alone.  Don't change the definition.

There are many reasons of people staying alone, not all people who staying along means not very sociable. Some people staying alone could be due to their parents are no longer around, so no choice but to stay alone or they want own a  house of their own and yet they still want sociable life etc.

[Guest Single]

I have this feeling that I will be single forever. Spending my life alone with no partner whom I love. I have a preference for white guys and it's so difficult to find love, let alone a white guy as a love partner. Whoever feels this way too? 

[Guest hmmm]

15 minutes ago, Guest Single said:

I have this feeling that I will be single forever. Spending my life alone with no partner whom I love. I have a preference for white guys and it's so difficult to find love, let alone a white guy as a love partner. Whoever feels this way too? 

 

used to have a pref for white guys. went overseas. dated then lived with my angmoh ex for 1.5 years. then realise that the ang moh thinking very different from asians. broke up. single for 4 years and now solely attracted to asians. even though am into asians now, i don't think i will date and fall in love with anyone anymore. will probably end up alone but am not sad about it. tbh, everyone ends up alone one day. even my grandma who married her first love for 60 years also have to get used to being alone when my grandpa passed away 2 years ago.

just take each day as it comes. and be happy.

[Guest Single too]

Same here. I’ve gone through the phase of desperation of wanting to be loved and then realise how difficult it is. 
 

my preference is not much, but for me i feel it’s my communication problem... I’m too boring for most people I feel. So they get bored of me and stop replying or something... 

[Guest Single]

1 hour ago, Guest hmmm said:

 

used to have a pref for white guys. went overseas. dated then lived with my angmoh ex for 1.5 years. then realise that the ang moh thinking very different from asians. broke up. single for 4 years and now solely attracted to asians. even though am into asians now, i don't think i will date and fall in love with anyone anymore. will probably end up alone but am not sad about it. tbh, everyone ends up alone one day. even my grandma who married her first love for 60 years also have to get used to being alone when my grandpa passed away 2 years ago.

just take each day as it comes. and be happy.

How different is the ang moh thinking? 

 

I have dated an ang moh too for a very short period. And he is the love that I have been desiring and adoring for. Due to language barrier and also his supposed "cheating", he ended the relationship. I feel that white guys are more open-minded and expressive. More passionate in love and also I have not fully experience the love relationship with another white guy since. 

 

I still miss the ex though I long to have another longer relationship with him or another white guy like him again. 

 

And thinking of being alone makes me sad

[Guest Single]

1 hour ago, Guest Single too said:

Same here. I’ve gone through the phase of desperation of wanting to be loved and then realise how difficult it is. 
 

my preference is not much, but for me i feel it’s my communication problem... I’m too boring for most people I feel. So they get bored of me and stop replying or something... 

How do you try to look for new guys? I tried the usual apps and it's not working. I'm not a super exciting person too though I have my interests and likings. 

[Guest Single too]

19 minutes ago, Guest Single said:

How do you try to look for new guys? I tried the usual apps and it's not working. I'm not a super exciting person too though I have my interests and likings. 

Dating apps like tinder and CMB? I tried Grindr at a point in time too but that place is a bit too much for me haha.

 

I feel like one of my main challenges is sustaining a conversation. Like my conversations die down because I couldn’t manage it properly? so I desperately try to save the sinking ship... there was even a time where this guy remarked that it felt like an interview (To my shit attempt in trying to keep the conversation alive and going). I do have my likes and interests but I have yet to meet someone who is actually interested in me enough to find out hahaha or when I introduce it on my own they usually get brushed off.

[Guest 40 yr old virgin]

1 hour ago, Guest Single too said:

Dating apps like tinder and CMB? I tried Grindr at a point in time too but that place is a bit too much for me haha.

 

I feel like one of my main challenges is sustaining a conversation. Like my conversations die down because I couldn’t manage it properly? so I desperately try to save the sinking ship... there was even a time where this guy remarked that it felt like an interview (To my shit attempt in trying to keep the conversation alive and going). I do have my likes and interests but I have yet to meet someone who is actually interested in me enough to find out hahaha or when I introduce it on my own they usually get brushed off.

I am also someone who cant click with many people, especially with other men. For those few people that I can still carry on a conversation, I realise they are ALL women...and mostly older aunties. Maybe it's because of self esteem issues? I feel less judged in front of older women who tend to be more like a elder sister or motherly...Now going to be 40 yrs ago, never been in a relationship before....yeah I am a "40 yr old virgin"...I have secretly liked my male colleagues before, but they are all married guys whom are all straight. I  dont think I will ever find someone who loves me. So I literally just live life day by day. No long term goals. And hope that by that time I am old, euthanasia is legal in Singapore and I can just opt for that when I think life is not worth going on anymore.

[Guest guest]

hi guest virgin 40 can i be ur friend . got any line weechat i can add u. u sound so sad. i am 47 173 65 chin local.

[GachiMuchi]

12 hours ago, Guest Single too said:

Same here. I’ve gone through the phase of desperation of wanting to be loved and then realise how difficult it is. 
 

my preference is not much, but for me i feel it’s my communication problem... I’m too boring for most people I feel. So they get bored of me and stop replying or something... 

 

Keep thinking so and you will create your own self fulfilling prophecy

 

Did you do a survey and found out from friends that you are really boring or did you just imagine everything with your mind?

 

What have you done to be less boring? Did you make and effort to not stay in your own status quo?

 

And if you know you have communication problem, what did you do to improve it? Do something or do nothing?

[Andrew240577]

2 minutes ago, GachiMuchi said:

 

Keep thinking so and you will create your own self fulfilling prophecy

 

Did you do a survey and found out from friends that you are really boring or did you just imagine everything with your mind?

 

What have you done to be less boring? Did you make and effort to not stay in your own status quo?

 

And if you know you have communication problem, what did you do to improve it? Do something or do nothing?

Me too single past 43 years😥

[GachiMuchi]

13 minutes ago, Andrew240577 said:

Me too single past 43 years😥

 

If for the past 43 years you are happy being single, by all means. 

There is no 1st place even if you don't have a partner, it's not a race.

You don't need a relationship to make yourself complete, if you are not already a complete person. 

If you are not ready, and don't try, you will never be ready.

A princess have to ____ many ____  before she can find the right ____ that can turn into_____ (fill in your own blank)

[mate69]

single is good lah

no need to account to anyone

sb shiok

best.

[Andrew240577]

13 minutes ago, GachiMuchi said:

 

 

If for the past 43 years you are happy being single, by all means. 

There is no 1st place even if you don't have a partner, it's not a race.

You don't need a relationship to make yourself complete, if you are not already a complete person. 

If you are not ready, and don't try, you will never be ready.

A princess have to ____ many ____  before she can find the right ____ that can turn into_____ (fill in your own blank)

 

I never say i like to be single.

Used to have someone i like but that guy do not like me.

Have china girl approach me when i 20s

working at industry company but i do not like them.

Life is like that😅.