Single & Living Alone Discussion (compiled)

[InBangkok]

12 hours ago, Guest Single said:

How different is the ang moh thinking? 

 

I can only speak for myself. I had never been with an Asian until I moved to Hong Kong 4 decades ago. It then took me a long time to summon up the courage to meet a Chinese guy. I soon realised I much preferred Asians. But my first real love was a Japanese I met on a short stop-over in Tokyo. He spoke near fluent English and we seemed to have so much in common. We knew we liked each other. Over the next year I took long week-ends in Tokyo almost every month and he came to spend several weeks with me. We talked about living together. Then he met another ang moh during one of my absences from Japan. End result -end of relationship. I was heartbroken. I loved him so much. Part of me still does. But life has to go on and hearts can be mended. Time heals.

[amuse.ed]

9 hours ago, Guest 40 yr old virgin said:

I am also someone who cant click with many people, especially with other men. For those few people that I can still carry on a conversation, I realise they are ALL women...and mostly older aunties. Maybe it's because of self esteem issues? I feel less judged in front of older women who tend to be more like a elder sister or motherly...Now going to be 40 yrs ago, never been in a relationship before....yeah I am a "40 yr old virgin"...I have secretly liked my male colleagues before, but they are all married guys whom are all straight. I  dont think I will ever find someone who loves me. So I literally just live life day by day. No long term goals. And hope that by that time I am old, euthanasia is legal in Singapore and I can just opt for that when I think life is not worth going on anymore.

Yes. I hope euthanasia can be legalized too. 

[upshot]

5 hours ago, mate69 said:

single is good lah

no need to account to anyone

sb shiok

best.

 

 heheh Only if you understand good discipline and aware of outcomes from action you do today effecting you in what manner tomorrow.

 

Our past self make us who we are today and so forth and so forth at each stage of our lives as we look back to ponder.

Edited June 16, 2020 by upshot

[cumulusish]

Same here

 

[Guest hmmmm]

19 hours ago, Guest Single said:

How different is the ang moh thinking? 

 

I have dated an ang moh too for a very short period. And he is the love that I have been desiring and adoring for. Due to language barrier and also his supposed "cheating", he ended the relationship. I feel that white guys are more open-minded and expressive. More passionate in love and also I have not fully experience the love relationship with another white guy since. 

 

I still miss the ex though I long to have another longer relationship with him or another white guy like him again. 

 

And thinking of being alone makes me sad

 

hmm don't know if i cant speak for all ang moh, but i think one distinction is their greater need for personal space. 

also, when i met my ex, we were in his country and i am the exotic one. 

when he moved to sg, he became the exotic one everyone is after.

i noticed a chance in his behaviour after a month in sg. 

i think ang mohs here are fully aware that they have plenty of fishes to choose from and don't really want to be tied down to one person. 

why do you want to be with another one who cheats on you? 

there's some deep complex going on there. 

[upshot]

There is a generalisation saying that comes to mind,   "They are only as good (or loyal) as their options"   LOL

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, Guest hmmmm said:

 

hmm don't know if i cant speak for all ang moh, but i think one distinction is their greater need for personal space. 

also, when i met my ex, we were in his country and i am the exotic one. 

when he moved to sg, he became the exotic one everyone is after.

i noticed a chance in his behaviour after a month in sg. 

i think ang mohs here are fully aware that they have plenty of fishes to choose from and don't really want to be tied down to one person. 

why do you want to be with another one who cheats on you? 

there's some deep complex going on there. 

 

Ha ha... I could be this ang moh.  In my city at home, attractive Asians are rare delicatessen. 

Not so in Singapore.  If I lived there, I would feel like a kid in a candy store 

 

9 hours ago, InBangkok said:

 

I can only speak for myself. I had never been with an Asian until I moved to Hong Kong 4 decades ago. It then took me a long time to summon up the courage to meet a Chinese guy. I soon realised I much preferred Asians. But my first real love was a Japanese I met on a short stop-over in Tokyo. He spoke near fluent English and we seemed to have so much in common. We knew we liked each other. Over the next year I took long week-ends in Tokyo almost every month and he came to spend several weeks with me. We talked about living together. Then he met another ang moh during one of my absences from Japan. End result -end of relationship. I was heartbroken. I loved him so much. Part of me still does. But life has to go on and hearts can be mended. Time heals.

 

My history is somewhat similar.  At 50 y.o. and after my divorce I had my first sex with an Asian from Laos and I fell in love with him.  We dated for half a year but he had also other men in mind and I was not his first choice.  My heart also broke, but this was more a physical love.  Later I met my bf of 21 years and this was a more deep emotional love, until death did us part.

 

I am single now,  but it is too late for me to be "single forever".  Maybe I will be "single from now on",  but the valuable experience of real, true relationship will never disappear from me,  my heart may never mend but it is becoming tolerable.

.

Edited June 16, 2020 by Steve5380

[Guest Mr Jelly Bean]

19 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Ha ha... I could be this ang moh.  In my city at home, attractive Asians are rare delicatessen. 

Not so in Singapore.  If I lived there, I would feel like a kid in a candy store 

 

Depends on what time of Asian Candy here.  There are Asian candies trying to look Western. There are also more traditional local wrapped candies. I think most Ang Mo will go for their familiar western wrapped Asian Candies.  You are spoilt for choices, but at your age, better not consume too much "sweet" stuff and ruin your health.

[Guest Guest single forever]

First time post in this forum. I’m going to 32 this year and never have been into any relationship, never have any gay friend before. I diverted all my energy to my career all these while. From outside i look like ordinary man, and most of the time i am contented with my life . But every few months i will have episodes of depression , i felt so lonely and demotivated. It is so painful to bear the loneliness and no ones i can talk to. It is like a void in my heart which can never be filled and the feeling is getting intense. I am so scared to go out to make any gay friend because i worried someone will find out my sexuality. Where my life leads to? I have no idea....

 

 

[HydroNaut]

On 6/15/2020 at 10:27 PM, Guest Single said:

I have this feeling that I will be single forever. Spending my life alone with no partner whom I love. I have a preference for white guys and it's so difficult to find love, let alone a white guy as a love partner. Whoever feels this way too? 

 

Just find a asian lor... ask him bleached his hair yellow and then wear blue contact lens can already... will become Ang Moh liao. Lol...

 

[LeanMature]

37 minutes ago, Guest Guest single forever said:

First time post in this forum. I’m going to 32 this year and never have been into any relationship, never have any gay friend before. I diverted all my energy to my career all these while. From outside i look like ordinary man, and most of the time i am contented with my life . But every few months i will have episodes of depression , i felt so lonely and demotivated. It is so painful to bear the loneliness and no ones i can talk to. It is like a void in my heart which can never be filled and the feeling is getting intense. I am so scared to go out to make any gay friend because i worried someone will find out my sexuality. Where my life leads to? I have no idea....

 

 

 

32 still has a chance to find a partner, but first, you have to overcome that worry of someone finding out your sexuality.  Otherwise, you could remain single and lonely beyond 50.

[auscent]

Being single equates alone, but not necessary lonely.

[LeanMature]

12 minutes ago, auscent said:

Being single equates alone, but not necessary lonely.

 

Agree to some extend. 

When you suddenly become single, you can be very lonely.

When you are single for too long, you enjoy being alone.  

[Guest Huh?]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest single forever said:

First time post in this forum. I’m going to 32 this year and never have been into any relationship, never have any gay friend before.i felt so lonely and demotivated. It is so painful to bear the loneliness and no ones i can talk to. It is like a void in my heart which can never be filled and the feeling is getting intense. 

In case you are new.  There are people who are 60+ happy and still trying to act "cute", to find the other half of their life.  You are 32yo, what is your loss to talk about? 

[Cydon]

I am 46 and single. Never really been attached just dating I guess. Have gone pass the age of longing for someone (think I can be picky) but very open to sex partners haha. Guess I enjoy my freedom too much.  

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, Guest Mr Jelly Bean said:

Depends on what time of Asian Candy here.  There are Asian candies trying to look Western. There are also more traditional local wrapped candies. I think most Ang Mo will go for their familiar western wrapped Asian Candies.  You are spoilt for choices, but at your age, better not consume too much "sweet" stuff and ruin your health.

 

Guest Jelly Bean,  thank you for your concern about my health.

 

I should take care these days not so much because of my age,  but because the candy can be contaminated.  It is not the sugar, but the STDs and now, covid-19.   And in any case,  I can only look at the candy from the distance,  since with the corona virus, I may wait for a year before starting again my sex tourism.

 

 

3 hours ago, Guest Guest single forever said:

First time post in this forum. I’m going to 32 this year and never have been into any relationship, never have any gay friend before. I diverted all my energy to my career all these while. From outside i look like ordinary man, and most of the time i am contented with my life . But every few months i will have episodes of depression , i felt so lonely and demotivated. It is so painful to bear the loneliness and no ones i can talk to. It is like a void in my heart which can never be filled and the feeling is getting intense. I am so scared to go out to make any gay friend because i worried someone will find out my sexuality. Where my life leads to? I have no idea....

 

 

 

Guest single forever,  you have no right to claim a "forever" that has not yet come.   At 70+,  I have not reached "forever" yet.

 

You have plenty of time left.  At 32 I also never had had a relationship,  I married at 37,  and I joined the gay scene at 50. 

But you can do something very positive:  trade your concern about loneliness for embracing everything that can make you healthier and stronger and more good looking in the years to come.  Become and expert in nutrition and exercise.  Maybe even start practicing a martial art like Aikido, this will promptly remove your loneliness.  You have already invested well in your career,  now fix everything else in preparation for a happier life that makes your career worth continuing.  It takes years to change, so don't expect immediate results.  Instead, be consistent and persistent. 

.

Edited June 17, 2020 by Steve5380

[Looking123]

Being conflicted for the most part of my 43 years, and closeted even now, I never really wanted an LTR. Since a few months ago, I started to want to at least give this a try. Unfortunately for me, I also share and relate to the various disappointments expressed here and other threads / profile updates. Many have also shared about their experiences and advice. So maybe all is not lost. 

 

[Guest Guest single forever]

Sincerely appreciate the words n i feel sort of connected emotionally

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest single forever said:

Sincerely appreciate the words n i feel sort of connected emotionally

 

You were smart putting all your efforts in your career early in life, when the inexperience of a student is expected. It is more difficult to catch up with career later in life.

But for relationships,  the inexperience of early years is a liability, because of many mistakes that can be made.  Later in life, the opportunities for relationships are not diminished by not having a curriculum vitae of love or having a not so good one.  With or without relationships our judgment keeps improving with age, and so are the chances of having one that is successful.

.

Edited June 17, 2020 by Steve5380

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, Looking123 said:

Being conflicted for the most part of my 43 years, and closeted even now, I never really wanted an LTR. Since a few months ago, I started to want to at least give this a try. Unfortunately for me, I also share and relate to the various disappointments expressed here and other threads / profile updates. Many have also shared about their experiences and advice. So maybe all is not lost. 

 

 

Not all is lost.  Disappointments with relationships are common.  And so, "experience" is created.   At 43 you may find attractive gays who are a little older than teenagers and had the opportunity to have multiple disappointments, resulting in lower expectations and less of, what we say in Spanish,  "birds in their head".   If you have other attractive qualities instead of plain cheap youth,  you will find younger gays who will be attracted to you and be good partners. 

[InBangkok]

No one is ever lost. My cousin had never had a girlfriend. Then he suddenly developed a relationship and got married when he was 46. I sometimes read that some guys in Singapore are intimidated by the legal situation. That need not be a barrier to a gay relationship. I lived with a similar law on the statute book in Hong Kong  for 11 years before the law was repealed. That did not stop me and thousands of others from developing relationships.

 

I fully accept that there was one major difference between the circumstances I found myself in and present day Singaporeans. My family was almost 10,000  kms away from Hong Kong and I certainly felt a much greater sense of freedom, despite the law.

 

A  lot of people will disagree with me but I blame the rise of the internet and especially the apps for making even casual relationships more difficult. In my younger days meeting other gay guys meant going to a bar, attending parties given by gay friends or depending on one's gaydar. An initial hook up with someone you liked did not necessary mean a sexual encounter. In fact, usually sex came only after a few meetings, by which time you had formed an impression about the guy and knew whether you really liked him or not. Today most people on the apps seem only to be after sex. That may turn out to be a great experience but is no guarantee that the guy wiil want to meet you again out for a drink with him another time.

 

.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Ang Moh guys are just so lucky, most asians want them, most jobs want them, they dont need to look for love cause love goes to them, no need to look for job and job goes to them. My friend always say they are indeed the master race hayst... They sit down and wait for the time they wanna be attached because once they want it is as easy as 123 they get it.

[Steve5380]

12 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

Ang Moh guys are just so lucky, most asians want them, most jobs want them, they dont need to look for love cause love goes to them, no need to look for job and job goes to them. My friend always say they are indeed the master race hayst... They sit down and wait for the time they wanna be attached because once they want it is as easy as 123 they get it.

 

Neh... you make a generalization like that of the neighbor's grass being greener than yours.

My country is full of Ang Mohs who are jobless, destitute, with no love in reach,

and who may feel bad seeing how Asians get the good jobs and easily find people attracted to them.

[mith]

i had 3 relationships from 20 to 30 year old, roughly 3 yrs, 4 yrs and last one 2+ yrs. 

 

from 30 to now 50 year old, im single. i didnt look, and also no urge to be in another relationship...

 

last 20 years, i built my career, im retired and comfy with life now (not rich hor, neighbourhood shopping, ntuc, kopitiam normal life)... am very happy with life and definitely do not want to be in a relationship again.

 

ps - my 2nd ex was a rich indo businessman 20 yrs older than me. im most happy with him, still miss him occasionally but that's that.

[InBangkok]

The poster @mith illustrates that relationships are not essential to an enjoyment and feeling of fulfilment in life. Life for all gay men wherever they live has surely to be a balance between living in the knowledge you are gay, developing a career and developing relationships. For some gay men in Singapore and in quite a few other countries, that balance is skewed by a fear of family and friends knowing you are gay. Here in Bangkok where life for gays is supposedly more free, the opposite is true. There is still a deeply ingrained anti-gay feeling in much of Thai society to the extent that most young gay professionals know their promotion prospects will be affected if it becomes known they are gay,

 

In my life so far I know I often failed to find the right balance. I had my share of depression when things did not turn out as I sometimes desperately hoped. But for some reason i quickly realised in my early 20s that life is to be enjoyed - and we only have one. So when the balance in my life has been skewed, I was able and happy to concentrate on other things. Having hobbies or other things you are passionate about certainly helps. I don't know how I could have gone through my life without passions!

 

 

[fab]

可欲不可求

可惜不可吸

[wilfgene]

22 hours ago, mith said:

i had 3 relationships from 20 to 30 year old, roughly 3 yrs, 4 yrs and last one 2+ yrs. 

 

from 30 to now 50 year old, im single. i didnt look, and also no urge to be in another relationship...

 

last 20 years, i built my career, im retired and comfy with life now (not rich hor, neighbourhood shopping, ntuc, kopitiam normal life)... am very happy with life and definitely do not want to be in a relationship again.

 

ps - my 2nd ex was a rich indo businessman 20 yrs older than me. im most happy with him, still miss him occasionally but that's that.

After this post, you are obliged to start a thread on how you have since been stalked by gold-diggers here.

"You don't need to buy a cow simply because you like to drink milk". 

[upshot]

On 6/15/2020 at 10:27 PM, Guest Single said:

I have this feeling that I will be single forever. Spending my life alone with no partner whom I love. I have a preference for white guys and it's so difficult to find love, let alone a white guy as a love partner. Whoever feels this way too? 

 

In life, we can't ALWAYS GET what we WANT. And nothing is gain 99% of the time without hard work and taking charge to make it work. And it can still fail. Defeated even before you start? You can look at it this way or you can look at it the OTHER WAY... start working on it and it just might happen. It's the Half Empty , Half Full cup Analogy. If you don't try, how can you say you will fail? And if you have made such a fine and FIRM decision,  I want ANG MO lover husband.

 

The BEST answer is RIGHT THERE in front of you (though likely it still not work) move to the West. More targets for you. But what are you trading off in doing so? You want want want this but are you willing to give give give something back? If not, time to SETTLE. Lower or change your expectation. If you don't care then who will care for you and your future? You should stop trying to find people in your same shoe so you can hug and feel good about yourself and still not have a Ang Mo man. What you are doing is wasting YOUR OWN precious time. Life's too short. As you age, you find time fly so damn fast. Take it from me... for some of the people here the last 3 months is hell of along.. I felt mine flew like a breeze though it was like only yesterday.

 

If you still can not wake up and smell the coffee and move on back to real life. You will one day wake up and cry your eyes out for the time you wasted. The choice has always been yours to make bro.

Edited June 19, 2020 by upshot
typo and clarity

[mate69]

Well said, upshot

 

[Kinky_Alwayz]

Im also alone...

[upshot]

2 hours ago, Kinky_Alwayz said:

Im also alone...

 

Find something productive to do or something that while away your time like a hobby or two. If still working, find things that help you work better competing with young peers around you. If you are lacking fund to retire and you are in the late summer or autumn of your life, you have to maximize your time to keep your earning power to save money. Sex should NOT be a preoccupation of your time most of the time. Being the best btm or top does not solve your real world problem. That's a vanity and in the scheme of things no one really cares about yours on the long run.

 

People who are single can still form good relationship in the form of friends UNLESS all you see when you look at a guys is just SEX and more SEX even if he is straight and you still am silly enough to try to change his mind just to get more sex. Not that i am saying you are... I am being general.

 

Look. There is more to life then just doing stuff that must involve your cock if you are single or single+gay.

 

But I do accept that there ARE people who just can't stand being alone. They like community sports or anything to do MUST have people around them. That instinct to being able to do things solo or think solo is a challenge. I am not sure how to deal with you but ya it can be tough and there might be some mental therapy to help you deal with it. My default is I am still one who love being by himself and indulge more in interests that are more single person involvement but I do make a point to go mix it up and work and play with others. It is always an advantage if you can switch between roles. Not being able to... even if you are str8 and attached to someone, you will never be fully happy with your situation.

[Guest White guy here]

I live in Singapore and looking for a boyfriend, I have had a few but not lasted long as they soon disappeared when the money stops

[Guest Planet Earth]

6 minutes ago, Guest White guy here said:

I live in Singapore and looking for a boyfriend, I have had a few but not lasted long as they soon disappeared when the money stops

When money stops, naturally you cannot survive in Singapore, so you chose to leave and then everything you possessed just ended there and then.  Blame the eco system, not on a relationship. 

[fab]

3 hours ago, Kinky_Alwayz said:

Im also alone...

 

It's ok to be alone 😔 

 

As long as you don't be lonely

[Guest Try and see]

On 6/17/2020 at 6:11 PM, HydroNaut said:

 

Just find a asian lor... ask him bleached his hair yellow and then wear blue contact lens can already... will become Ang Moh liao. Lol...

 

That sounds like a male version of Xiaxue  

 

[fab]

It's OK to be xia Xiaxue, just don't be xiaxuay,.

[Guest Single]

2 hours ago, Guest White guy here said:

I live in Singapore and looking for a boyfriend, I have had a few but not lasted long as they soon disappeared when the money stops

 

2 hours ago, Guest White guy here said:

I live in Singapore and looking for a boyfriend, I have had a few but not lasted long as they soon disappeared when the money stops

It's so difficult to find ang mohs who are attracted to Asians men in Singapore. If you are really a white guy, I'm in for a chat

[Guest Try and see]

5 minutes ago, Guest Single said:

 

It's so difficult to find ang mohs who are attracted to Asians men in Singapore. If you are really a white guy, I'm in for a chat

 

No lah. Don't fall for an ang moh guy just because he has fair hair and light skin, and speaks with a funny accent.

 

A lot of them cannot make it in their home country so they come to Asia because they know that Asians treat them like gods. 

 

Also, a lot of ang moh men come to Asia to marry Asian girls because in their home country, their own ang moh girls look down on them for having no achievements.

 

Ang mohs in Asia treat us Asians like playthings and fools because they know many Asians overlook their bad points just because they have fairer skin.

 

Let these ang mohs know that they don't deserve any special treatment from us Asians just because they have fairer skin and sharper noses.

 

Remember that anything an ang moh can do, there is always an Asian who can do it better.

[Steve5380]

57 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

1- No lah. Don't fall for an ang moh guy just because he has fair hair and light skin, and speaks with a funny accent.

 

2- A lot of them cannot make it in their home country so they come to Asia because they know that Asians treat them like gods. 

 

3- Also, a lot of ang moh men come to Asia to marry Asian girls because in their home country, their own ang moh girls look down on them for having no achievements.

 

4- Ang mohs in Asia treat us Asians like playthings and fools because they know many Asians overlook their bad points just because they have fairer skin.

 

5- Let these ang mohs know that they don't deserve any special treatment from us Asians just because they have fairer skin and sharper noses.

 

6- Remember that anything an ang moh can do, there is always an Asian who can do it better.

 

1- Is Ang Moh's accent funny,  or is Singlish funny ??

 

2- The island of Singapore is infinitely too small to accommodate all the Ang Mohs who cannot make it in their home countries.

 

3- A lot of Ang Mohs marry Asian girls because the Ang Moh girls are demanding, bossy, snobby, and won't cook or clean house.

 

4- A lot of Ang Mohs come looking for you Asians because they don't care for  the Ang Moh fat, the hairy, the plump, the prepotent.

 

5- Most Ang Mohs don't think that they deserve this-or-that for being Ang Moh,  this is your thinking.

 

6- Anything that an Ang Moh can do, an Asian can also do equally well  (not "better")

[Guest Guest]

On 6/21/2020 at 1:07 AM, Guest Try and see said:

 

No lah. Don't fall for an ang moh guy just because he has fair hair and light skin, and speaks with a funny accent.

 

A lot of them cannot make it in their home country so they come to Asia because they know that Asians treat them like gods. 

 

Also, a lot of ang moh men come to Asia to marry Asian girls because in their home country, their own ang moh girls look down on them for having no achievements.

 

Ang mohs in Asia treat us Asians like playthings and fools because they know many Asians overlook their bad points just because they have fairer skin.

 

Let these ang mohs know that they don't deserve any special treatment from us Asians just because they have fairer skin and sharper noses.

 

Remember that anything an ang moh can do, there is always an Asian who can do it better.

 

In Asia Ang Mohs are living like Gods, choose which ever asian they want hot or not. No need to work hard to find love.

[LeanMature]

On 6/17/2020 at 7:07 PM, Cydon said:

I am 46 and single. Never really been attached just dating I guess. Have gone pass the age of longing for someone (think I can be picky) but very open to sex partners haha. Guess I enjoy my freedom too much.  

 

As long as you still have the "market value", you will continue to enjoy that freedom.   But option is getting lesser year after year.

[wilfgene]

17 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

As long as you still have the "market value", you will continue to enjoy that freedom.   But option is getting lesser year after year.

There is still that ultimate peak on being eligible to withdraw CPF.

[LeanMature]

On 6/23/2020 at 9:23 AM, wilfgene said:

There is still that ultimate peak on being eligible to withdraw CPF.

 

At age 70 ?

[wilfgene]

45 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

 

At age 70 ?

At this rate of postponement, 100.

[upshot]

3 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

At age 70 ?

 

That should be 65 after the first time you can start redrawing any amount you have MINUS the minimum you have to keep inside at 55. For example if I have 400,000 inside my CPF and for my age group they say I must keep 165,000 inside. So you can minus that amount and take the balance out anytime between 55 to 65. Or take it out in small amount each time all the way till 65.

 

You can also draw out the bulk of it at 55 if you pledge the house to not sell it. I know of kiasu people who took it all out the moment they are 55. Their thinking being, pap govt will steal their money and ended up so tempted having no money sense, they spending it all in a matter of months or years and with nothing left. And what to they do? They blame the govt for not helping them when they are old. The irony. heheheheh

[wkayz]

On 6/15/2020 at 10:27 PM, Guest Single said:

I have this feeling that I will be single forever. Spending my life alone with no partner whom I love. I have a preference for white guys and it's so difficult to find love, let alone a white guy as a love partner. Whoever feels this way too? 

I guess many of us feel this at some point in our life. But indeed there are many people who are single now. I guess you just can’t force for it to happen but rather accept that if no partner you should also live well. 
 

it’s just too difficult to find someone you like who likes you back. Let alone other factors.

[upshot]

1 hour ago, wkayz said:

I guess many of us feel this at some point in our life. But indeed there are many people who are single now. I guess you just can’t force for it to happen but rather accept that if no partner you should also live well. 
 

it’s just too difficult to find someone you like who likes you back. Let alone other factors.

 Very true. One also can not be sure he will be alive still to take care of you if he dies first heheh..

[yuquidam]

6 hours ago, upshot said:

..I know of kiasu people who took it all out the moment they are 55.... and ended up so tempted having no money sense, they spending it all in a matter of months or years and with nothing left. And what to they do? They blame the govt for not helping them when they are old. The irony. heheheheh

Come across many such senior relatives who squandered CPF away. One spent almost $500K in less than 5years and now struggling as a grab driver despite health issues.

[upshot]

On 6/25/2020 at 1:09 AM, yuquidam said:

Come across many such senior relatives who squandered CPF away. One spent almost $500K in less than 5years and now struggling as a grab driver despite health issues.

 

I know too many stories and of two friends who try to borrow money from me.  When it comes time at 55, they have not enough to even take out spare cash after deducting the minimum to retain inside till age 65 and they still own money outside and running out of time with a job that can accord their lifestyle. Why?

 

Buy too big a flat with CPF (show off or gamble profit off property price are two main reasons) and the deduction every month taking out more money THAN money staying in their CPF account. If you can pay for a 4 room flat, for example and still have left-over in your CPF deduction, that is an optimum plan to live. Problem is if you hunger for the best location, best floor and you like enjoying a 5 room or Executive unit for prestige ....and you underestimate what you can afford to pay with CPF. And worst, to top up with real cash as it went past your monthly instalment, you are asking for trouble. Some people do this thinking later can sell flat and make extra profit, or they sure to get a better job or promotion. What if your estate and the flat is old? Local value of flat drop? Then how? How for can you see into the future when your instalment stretch into decades. Even if you sell to buy a smaller flat, you think the flat you buy will be cheap?

 

The only reason you want to take that money out is to transfer them to a bank account that can give you a higher interest rate for it to grow that money. So in a way, I agree with the govt to take that money from us earlier in our lives and only let you get it later in life so you have something to live on in case you fuck up your life.

 

Many complain about the govt take their money and all that complaining is mainly .. they see the money in the account and can not touch and itchy to touch it. That is quite the motivation to make noise and try to get opposition to win and maybe they will reverse that and let people take out heheheh... I was LIKE THAT TOO when I was really young. But when you spend carefully and you make more money working hard or taking up part-time work, you actually can make it.

 

And I made it. And I do not have to touch it as I did smart stuff with my money. But I know tomorrow I want to take it all out from my CPF.. I can do that with a few clicks from my phone.

 

If anyone has a spendthrift personality, be happy someone has set up a way to help you save some money. I do not like everything the way CPF board is controlling the money and shifting the timing but overall it makes sense. You do not see it now when young but when you reach an older age, you will.

 

Edited November 28, 2020 by upshot
typo upon reading it after a long while, heheh..

[yuquidam]

Having been attached quite few years (abt 6 yrs) then called it quits after partner insisted to have frequent 3somes. Didn't see a need to be attached to him since we can still have 3somes any time hehe.

 

I am not feeling lonely as do have some nice single (or divorced) straight and gay friends of both sexes to enjoy time together over meals and travel. My problem is not loneliness but horniness...Lol. 

Edited June 24, 2020 by yuquidam