Single & Living Alone Discussion (compiled)

[Blogger Adam]

The recent conversation of living alone has inspired me to pen this — thank you all who reached out

 

==========
 

My first time was when I was nine. 

 

I knew it was wrong, but I was really curious. 

 

The next time I did it, I was slightly older -- 15.

 

And this time, I did it blatantly under my mum's roof.

 

You're a big boy now, I'm told. It's okay. 

 

And so I innocently took the crystal glass from this very naughty person and had my first cautious sip of whiskey (neat). 

 

"How? Nice or not," asks my mum Mrs Lee,who ought to be on the watch list of family social services. 

 

Truth be told, I didn't like the whiskey one bit, but I drank it anyway because Mrs Lee said I needed to learn how to handle alcohol as a man and I should learn to do so under her supervision. 

 

And when I looked back to the first time when I sipped red wine at nine (it was after midnight mass so there was celebratory concession), I too remember not liking it. 

 

Fast forward to now; not only am I not hating it, I'm giving alcohol a tad too much love. 

 

When it's time to celebrate, drink. When I'm alone, drink. When I'm back from work and haven't even undone my tie, drink. 

 

Whenever my partner J shakes his head at my wine glass, I smile and tell him it's good for the heart. 

 

When my godson visits, and I'm having a drink with his dad, I tell the innocent li'l chap that "papa is having a medicinal drink so you can't try it."

 

It wasn't until late last year when I realised I am indeed having too much to drink (four bottles of wine a week when I'm feeling moderate and sometimes, seven a week). 

 

How did I get here?

 

Well, to be fair, after my bitter whiskey encounter, the next time I drank was when I was a student in Australia, where wine is so cheap you can buy it with loose change. 

 

It didn't help either that in my first year of uni, I had stayed in a Catholic dorm where wine drinking was not frowned upon. 

 

Whenever we had our monthly formal dinners, we would have free flow of wine.

 

By year two when I moved out to stay with friends, we had by then each developed the trendy habit of having wine with food. 

 

It started off with a harmless bottle of white wine shared among my young, thirsty friends, over fish and chips.

 

And whenever we had house parties, someone would buy wine. 

 

And so as not to allow the wine to expire, I took one for the team and single-handedly took care of the wine.

 

From there, I took two, three and more bottles of wine.

 

In my third year, I was at my most stressed academic life. I was constantly worried about living the legacy of all Asian students who need to ace not just their subjects but also to basically top the cohort (Stanley my sex bunny friend would love to top the cohort, but today, he's not in my story). 

 

My stress led to sleepless nights and for nearly a year, I couldn't easily drift to sleep. 

 

And so, I turned to alcohol, guzzling down one glass every night just to get that comfortable high that would lull me to sleep. 

 

By the time I graduated and started work life, I had developed a very strong threshold for alcohol. 

 

I could easily down glasses of beer, shots, cocktails, wine at social functions and still walk in a straight line.

 

When I bought my own place, my sister gave me a wine cooler and frequently bought me expensive wine, unwittingly inheriting Mrs Lee's role of passing down the alcohol-feeding tradition.

 

It soon became a lifestyle: Having friends and family over with food and wine.

And then it became a habit. 

 

I would come home after a super long day and the moment I'm home alone, I'd roll up my sleeves, loosen my tie and pour myself a glass of wine. 

 

The satisfying pop of the cork, the soft swish of wine gushing out of the bottle, and therapeutic swirl of the glass, and suddenly everything feels right. 

 

Except it's not.

 

Friends would joke that I'm alcoholic. Heck, sometimes, even I refer to myself as alcoholic. 

 

But they meant nothing. They were conversation starters. Meaningless chatter. Not actual labels.

 

My partner J doesn't like it when I drink but would always allow me a glass or two when we go out for a nice meal.

 

He would at most sniff me after dinner, scrunch up his nose and say "you smell like vomit". But he never once told me to quit or stop drinking. 

 

Perhaps, I shouldn't wait for that day to come.  

 

I mean, I am highly functional -- with or without alcohol.

 

I can pour myself a stiff drink, open my office laptop and do my work without making any error.

 

And I don't shiver in cold turkey when I'm without alcohol 

 

There also isn't a beer belly to remind me that I was turning my body into a barrel. 

 

But of late, I am slowly beginning to realise that I am perhaps drinking a tad too much.

 

I used to tell myself it's okay to drink alone because I am enjoying the taste of the wine.

 

Recently, I started becoming homesick, and the wine -- no matter how much I liked it before -- didn't taste the same anymore.

 

There was no longer joy or beauty with every sip. 

 

Instead, I felt empty inside, as if I needed to fill the void by feeling the wine burn my insides as it made its downward spiral inside me. 

 

It was a bitter realisation to swallow. 

 

On Dec 29, 2020, I made a vow to cut down -- not cut out -- alcohol as my new year resolution. 

 

Two bottles a week, down from four for a start. 

 

I need to ease myself slowly so that this becomes sustainable. 

 

I won't cut off ties totally with wine. I'll cut myself some slack and go with the flow on merry occasions. 

 

But I won't be tangled in my alcoholic mess like before. 

 

It's been nearly two weeks since I last touched wine, just to prove to myself that I am capable of staying away from it if I want to. 

 

And the next time I do drink, it'd be because it's a special occasion -- and because I want to. 

 

Not that I need to. 

 

Yeah, that sounds like a good strategy. 

I will drink to that. 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Because of pub closure at 10.30pm, these days I spend time at home to drink liquor on  Fridays. Just vomit out some later and lie around naked till Saturday noon.

[Why?]

10 hours ago, Guest guest said:

Because of pub closure at 10.30pm, these days I spend time at home to drink liquor on  Fridays. Just vomit out some later and lie around naked till Saturday noon.

It shows you are not a good drinker, so don't try to act cool.  I suggest Earl Grey with a slice of lemon for you, my favourite tea and i guaranteed you will have wet dream instead of lying naked.

[Guest guest]

Spent my Saturday morning getting some McDonald's breakfast. Ordered my meal, requested table service and hid somewhere until the staff brought the food to my table and left with the sign. Met my counsellor and got told to 'go out more' for a change. Rather he spoke in a way to make me conclude myself I should go out more.

 

Joined a gathering for gay men at some cafe downtown, found it on one of the FB groups. Just nice I was the eighth person. One of them tried talking to me, but I couldn't understand his questions. Like what do I do, why I decided to spend a Saturday afternoon here etc. He stopped asking after a while. The other six couldn't bother with me. Later one of them told me to excuse them and they left to go somewhere. I ordered another cup of coffee by pointing to the menu and took out my book. Left the cafe just when it was about to get dark.

 

Went back to my house to open another beer bottle. Drank some but realised I had too much coffee and was too full. Mind was full of thoughts about circular motion theories and decided to go to the 24 hour laundry to watch some machines spin. Feels satisfying when watching those machines spin. Returned to my home and drank some beer again. Scrolled through Instagram to see what some gay dudes are up to. I hope I can catch where they are going tomorrow and see them from a distance.

[Guest Neil29]

How long should we wait for someone to come?

[Guest timing]

On 11/8/2021 at 1:54 PM, Guest Neil29 said:

How long should we wait for someone to come?

Go out more often and to somewhere you’ve never been before. The right person will appear at the right time, right place. 

[Guest Stages]

On 11/8/2021 at 1:54 PM, Guest Neil29 said:

How long should we wait for someone to come?

Depends on your age.  Each stage of our life of waiting is different.  When young, we cheong all the toilets in Singapore, when slightly older, you cheong Saunas,  when middle-aged you eye-ballings in public,  when became elderly you sit  for hours in Kopi Tiam with your eyes roving at every customers.  When you are advanced in years, forget about waiting, there isn't much waiting time.

[mith]

On 2/28/2021 at 12:42 AM, Guest guest said:

Spent my Saturday morning getting some McDonald's breakfast. Ordered my meal, requested table service and hid somewhere until the staff brought the food to my table and left with the sign. Met my counsellor and got told to 'go out more' for a change. Rather he spoke in a way to make me conclude myself I should go out more.

 

Joined a gathering for gay men at some cafe downtown, found it on one of the FB groups. Just nice I was the eighth person. One of them tried talking to me, but I couldn't understand his questions. Like what do I do, why I decided to spend a Saturday afternoon here etc. He stopped asking after a while. The other six couldn't bother with me. Later one of them told me to excuse them and they left to go somewhere. I ordered another cup of coffee by pointing to the menu and took out my book. Left the cafe just when it was about to get dark.

 

Went back to my house to open another beer bottle. Drank some but realised I had too much coffee and was too full. Mind was full of thoughts about circular motion theories and decided to go to the 24 hour laundry to watch some machines spin. Feels satisfying when watching those machines spin. Returned to my home and drank some beer again. Scrolled through Instagram to see what some gay dudes are up to. I hope I can catch where they are going tomorrow and see them from a distance.

 

???

 

a wong ka wai movie plot?

[Steve5380]

On 11/8/2021 at 4:07 AM, Guest Stages said:

Depends on your age.  Each stage of our life of waiting is different.  When young, we cheong all the toilets in Singapore, when slightly older, you cheong Saunas,  when middle-aged you eye-ballings in public,  when became elderly you sit  for hours in Kopi Tiam with your eyes roving at every customers.  When you are advanced in years, forget about waiting, there isn't much waiting time.

 

To be advanced in age does not mean that there is not much waiting time ahead.  

 

Today it is not unreasonable to last until 90 y.o.  And what is your idea of "advanced in years".  If it is 70,  then there can be 20 years of time left.  For many, "advanced" starts at 60,  and this leaves 30 years! ahead.

 

And in these 20 or 30 years, sex and the exterior of other's bodies start to lose importance, but interest grows in what is inside these bodies.  You start looking people in the eye, and start realizing "oh, another human being like me".

 

On 11/7/2021 at 11:54 PM, Guest Neil29 said:

How long should we wait for someone to come?

 

The time is shorter if you not only wait for someone to come, but you come to someone.

[Guest lonely dude]

Do you feel lonely at night when the chatting stops in group chats on messaging apps.

 

You login to BW hoping to see new posts or comments but everyone is asleep.

 

You check your Grindr and see the familiar profiles near you are still online. You send them a message hoping for a reply. In fact, you have been messaging for years but they die die don't want to reply. They don't even bother to block you. How pathetic. 

 

After all the scrolling, you get tired and go to bed. Another day has passed and you are one day older. When will I ever find a partner to share my life with.... ?

[Guest Hmm]

Maybe it's time to stop spending time at seedy places? 

[Guest Alcoholic]

On 1/27/2022 at 12:50 AM, Guest lonely dude said:

Do you feel lonely at night when the chatting stops in group chats on messaging apps.

 

You login to BW hoping to see new posts or comments but everyone is asleep.

 

You check your Grindr and see the familiar profiles near you are still online. You send them a message hoping for a reply. In fact, you have been messaging for years but they die die don't want to reply. They don't even bother to block you. How pathetic. 

 

After all the scrolling, you get tired and go to bed. Another day has passed and you are one day older. When will I ever find a partner to share my life with.... ?

I've been with my partner for 6 years and counting. Almost every night I drink 2 or 3 whiskey glasses NEAT, and that's filling it nearly to the brim. My partner suspects I've an issue with alcohol, so I try to keep it as discreet as possible. I drink to numb my unhappiness (not at him) and my loneliness (we no longer have sex after 6y though we still love each other deeply). I am fortunate to be able to afford the 4 bottles of whiskey (and countless bottles of soju and wine... all which I love) but I'm deeply unhappy within as well.

 

So having someone by your side, isn't a free-pass out from loneliness.

[radiusulnar]

On 1/27/2022 at 12:50 AM, Guest lonely dude said:

Do you feel lonely at night when the chatting stops in group chats on messaging apps.

 

You login to BW hoping to see new posts or comments but everyone is asleep.

 

You check your Grindr and see the familiar profiles near you are still online. You send them a message hoping for a reply. In fact, you have been messaging for years but they die die don't want to reply. They don't even bother to block you. How pathetic. 

 

After all the scrolling, you get tired and go to bed. Another day has passed and you are one day older. When will I ever find a partner to share my life with.... ?

That made for depressing reading. But most definitely relatable at various points in the past. The challenge is to get it of the funk and to be able to continue moving forward courageously

[Steve5380]

On 1/26/2022 at 11:05 AM, Guest Alcoholic said:

I've been with my partner for 6 years and counting. Almost every night I drink 2 or 3 whiskey glasses NEAT, and that's filling it nearly to the brim. My partner suspects I've an issue with alcohol, so I try to keep it as discreet as possible. I drink to numb my unhappiness (not at him) and my loneliness (we no longer have sex after 6y though we still love each other deeply). I am fortunate to be able to afford the 4 bottles of whiskey (and countless bottles of soju and wine... all which I love) but I'm deeply unhappy within as well.

 

So having someone by your side, isn't a free-pass out from loneliness.

 

Why are you so unhappy?  

 

If your loneliness comes from not having sex, and you still love each other,  propose a more open relationship and find sex in gay saunas, away from home.  You have some good ones in SG,  and not too far away in KL and BKK.   How can he object, since you two have no sex anymore and you could not infect him?   If he REALLY loves you,  he should welcome this as a help to your loneliness, and perhaps a remedy to your unhappiness?  And if you catch an STD,  it may be less harmful than alcoholism.

[Guest Rolling Eyes]

On 1/27/2022 at 12:50 AM, Guest lonely dude said:

After all the scrolling, you get tired and go to bed. Another day has passed and you are one day older. When will I ever find a partner to share my life with.... ?

 

On 1/27/2022 at 1:05 AM, Guest Alcoholic said:

So having someone by your side, isn't a free-pass out from loneliness.

 

On 1/27/2022 at 7:30 AM, radiusulnar said:

 most definitely relatable at various points in the past.

Don't you guys sleep, at all?   Let me dissect why you felt lonely.

 

1)  You stay in ulu ulu place without much activities nor human traffic. Just the sound of falling dried leaves touches your nerves

2) You overworked and live a stressful life, under toxic enivornment

3)  You are the only child or you don't have good term with your siblings

4)  You think of sex all the time, addicted to porns and masturbated regularly

5)  You have no hobby, at all and you are not an expertise in every form of trades. Simply no creativity genes in you.

6)  You mingle with the wrong group of people and start comparing yourself

7)  You think too much, imagine too much and start hallucinating about things that are not happening

😎 You are simply too  lazy to think, lack of capability to plan, inability to be move your ass

9)  You don't like your neighbours, became weary of your surroundings

10) Your living space is too small, you felt suffocating

11) You felt sad all the time, even when you were happy. So melodrama

12)  You have no religion nor spiritual activities to lean on

13)  You mental state is constantly influenced by envy

14)  Your are over cluttered with stuffs it drains away your energy, fuel and soul. That includes having too many social apps that took away your precious time to rebuild yourself or reconstruct your life.

 

15)  You are not exposed a lot to the sun, and always go out after dark.

16)  You took too many junk foods, your moods swing easily as a result

17)  You don't have stimulating items at home, stuff that sparks joy!

18)  You live inside a run down and dirty environment, and people in your neighbourhood have mental issues.

19)  You lost someone you love, real or one-sided

15)  You are always counting your age and bothered by it every new year or on your birthday

16)  Allow people to look down on you for being single

17)  Watch too much news, ardent followers of main stream news to allow yourself drawn into the mood

18)  You felt bullied, isolated, ostracised, outcasted and rejected, and kept seeking for other people for approval.

19)  You are a follower of trend - materialistically attracted to latest stuffs of the days.

20)  You love to brag.  When no one around nor listen to you, you felt lonely

 

The list can goes on.....

 

Take your pick and tell me which one of the above tailors to your current situation.

 

 

 

[Guest lonely dude]

Hi Rolling Eyes, thanks for your reply.

I'm facing these issues. Would give be able to give me some advice on life?

2) You overworked and live a stressful life, under toxic enivornment < Trying to numb myself with work.

7)  You think too much, imagine too much and start hallucinating about things that are not happening < Worry about rising cost of living and not able to save enough to buy a house and retire.
 
12)  You have no religion nor spiritual activities to lean on < No time

14)  Your are over cluttered with stuffs it drains away your energy, fuel and soul. That includes having too many social apps that took away your precious time to rebuild yourself or reconstruct your life. < Grindr

17)  You don't have stimulating items at home, stuff that sparks joy! < I'm on my laptop most of the time

15)  You are always counting your age and bothered by it every new year or on your birthday < Yes, very bothered especially on CNY 

18)  You felt bullied, isolated, ostracised, outcasted and rejected, and kept seeking for other people for approval. < I'm in my 40s but I lied about my age on Grindr just to have a chance to chat with those younger because I like younger. 

[Guest Depresso]

I am not single or lonely, but I do feel depressed. Every night once my partner is asleep, I will be lying down at the sofa, scrolling through BW & surfing YouTube. Deep within, I just feel like crying. At times, tears just flow. Living can be painful & I do not know how long can I hang on. If there is a day if my partner is gone, that will be when there is no reason to continue 

[mith]

its been 2 yrs+ now since i moved out and living on my own, after the initial settling down and getting to know the surroundings of my estate, now, sometimes the loneliness creeps in... maybe its the pandemic syndrome? maybe its me?

 

anyway, i started hiking! these long walks is easy on my knees (cf to jogging/running), yet makes the heart stronger (lower high BP), with better circulation, and expands the lungs (better breathing), lose excess weight and tone the body/muscle, and enable better night sleep (almost immediate doze off and without dreams)... you (mind and body) wont have time for loneliness and/or depression. 

 

once your health improves, your outlooks will too, both mentally and physically... many positive things will follow.

 

this is my self cure... no need to worry your family, no need to burden your frens, no need for expensive shrink sessions! and most importantly curb the loneliness before it escalates into depression...

 

 

[Dreamaway]

Definitely helps to exercise and get out of the house regularly like mith. 

 

One important note is to remind yourself that it's not the end of the world. Just look around (or outside Singapore) and see those who are struggling to keep themselves and their families alive.

 

There are people who need help more than us and they do not give up. 

 

There are people who are in better circumstances (richer, younger etc) who choose to end their own lives. 

 

There's always hope as long as we do not give up. 

 

For those who need someone to talk to. Try this.

 

Samaritan of Singapore: 1767

 

There's no shame to seek help. It takes true courage to admit weakness...

[sgmaven]

On 2/7/2022 at 7:53 PM, Dreamaway said:

One important note is to remind yourself that it's not the end of the world. Just look around (or outside Singapore) and see those who are struggling to keep themselves and their families alive.

I do agree about this point. Every time I feel a bit down, I remember a neighbour of mine. A middle-aged lady, who has to support a Downs-Syndrome daughter and a wheelchair-bound mother. All while working as a store clerk at NTUC. She still manages to hold it together, and we smile and exchange greetings whenever we meet. If she can do it, so can I...

[passinthenight]

On 2/7/2022 at 4:29 AM, Guest Depresso said:

I am not single or lonely, but I do feel depressed. Every night once my partner is asleep, I will be lying down at the sofa, scrolling through BW & surfing YouTube. Deep within, I just feel like crying. At times, tears just flow. Living can be painful & I do not know how long can I hang on. If there is a day if my partner is gone, that will be when there is no reason to continue 

 

 Thanks for sharing your feelings of despair.

We are all on the rollercoaster of life and we all have to somehow deal with these feelings when they pop up.

You have lost confidence in yourself and you need to get it back.

Do something that you know will make you feel good.

Where there is a will, there is a way. 

[Guest Lone Fox]

Deal with it.  Being a lonely human is still better than being someone's pet dog, cats, chicken, hamster, birds....etc. 

[Dreamaway]

We can all afford to be kinder in our words to one another.

 

The recent case of the poor kid killed by the father at bukit timah really shook me. How hopeless must the father have felt to drive him to kill his own flesh and blood.  

 

Maybe a kind word that day could have change the outcome...

 

We are very blessed to have food on our table (despite the price increase) and a roof over our head. There's always something to give thanks for.

 

 

[Steve5380]

On 1/26/2022 at 8:06 PM, Guest Rolling Eyes said:

 

 

Don't you guys sleep, at all?   Let me dissect why you felt lonely.

 

1)  You stay in ulu ulu place without much activities nor human traffic. Just the sound of falling dried leaves touches your nerves

2) You overworked and live a stressful life, under toxic enivornment

3)  You are the only child or you don't have good term with your siblings

4)  You think of sex all the time, addicted to porns and masturbated regularly

5)  You have no hobby, at all and you are not an expertise in every form of trades. Simply no creativity genes in you.

6)  You mingle with the wrong group of people and start comparing yourself

7)  You think too much, imagine too much and start hallucinating about things that are not happening

😎 You are simply too  lazy to think, lack of capability to plan, inability to be move your ass

9)  You don't like your neighbours, became weary of your surroundings

10) Your living space is too small, you felt suffocating

11) You felt sad all the time, even when you were happy. So melodrama

12)  You have no religion nor spiritual activities to lean on

13)  You mental state is constantly influenced by envy

14)  Your are over cluttered with stuffs it drains away your energy, fuel and soul. That includes having too many social apps that took away your precious time to rebuild yourself or reconstruct your life.

 

15)  You are not exposed a lot to the sun, and always go out after dark.

16)  You took too many junk foods, your moods swing easily as a result

17)  You don't have stimulating items at home, stuff that sparks joy!

18)  You live inside a run down and dirty environment, and people in your neighbourhood have mental issues.

19)  You lost someone you love, real or one-sided

15)  You are always counting your age and bothered by it every new year or on your birthday

16)  Allow people to look down on you for being single

17)  Watch too much news, ardent followers of main stream news to allow yourself drawn into the mood

18)  You felt bullied, isolated, ostracised, outcasted and rejected, and kept seeking for other people for approval.

19)  You are a follower of trend - materialistically attracted to latest stuffs of the days.

20)  You love to brag.  When no one around nor listen to you, you felt lonely

 

The list can goes on.....

 

Take your pick and tell me which one of the above tailors to your current situation.

 

 

None of your 20 points should justify feeling lonely and unhappy, which, we need to remember, are FEELINGS,  not "circumstances".

 

Feelings are totally isolated inside of us.  We don't know exactly where the feelings are inside our body, and it does not matter.  The important thing is that we have a BRAIN.

 

USING our brain, we close our eyes and do some "meditation", a sort of auto-suggestion?  We imagine ourselves feeling HAPPY.  The reason for this is immaterial.  We conjure in ourselves the feeling of being successful, a blessed child of God or blessed by Nature in a state of bliss. We just won a Gold medal in the Olympics.  This should not be difficult to do, we all have been happy at some time in life.  All it takes is not to be in a state of physical pain.  

 

The more we do this, the better we IDENTIFY the feeling of happiness.  And then, we simply make it OURS!  While we are in this state of feeling happy,  who cares ? if our place is too small, if we are alone, if people look down on us, if we have no money, if we are ugly, if we are addicted to porn, have no hobby, no religion, no nothing?   We ARE feeling happy, and this is what counts.  

 

Cultivating this feeling,  we have the potential to be happy ( to feel and be so ) at will, when we want to!  The more happy we feel, the happier we ARE.  And then with a positive mind we will start reflecting and looking at all the circumstances that allegedly should force us to be unhappy. We will be able to intelligently correct or adapt to or eliminate the circumstances that are not good. Are we alone?  This can be a happy solitude, with all its advantages and time to achieve. 

 

And eventually, we may be able to replace the high from a sip of whiskey, with closing our eyes and conjuring the feeling happiness for one minute.

.

Edited February 7, 2022 by Steve5380

[Guest Do your Experiment]

On 2/7/2022 at 11:24 PM, Steve5380 said:

 

None of your 20 points should justify feeling lonely and unhappy, which, we need to remember, are FEELINGS,  not "circumstances".

 

Try placing your hand under a fire (circumstance) and meditate the feelings of pain away.  That sumarise your lengthy post.

[Steve5380]

On 2/8/2022 at 8:15 AM, Guest Do your Experiment said:

Try placing your hand under a fire (circumstance) and meditate the feelings of pain away.  That sumarise your lengthy post.

 

If you try to ignore and distort what I wrote in my lengthy post,  you miss out on the opportunity to find an excellent tool for improving your life.

 

I have been practicing for six years the martial art Aikido and still continue with this (when it resumes after covid) thanks to the technique to cultivate the feeling of happiness.   Martial art requires flexibility, which means, stretching.  I dislike the discomfort of stretching, and I dread it every day.  But as soon as I am on the floor doing leg splits I tell myself:  "I am happy, I like the way I can stretch, so flexible..."  This makes me forget immediately the discomfort.  I further tell myself: "I am happy to have all the time in the world to do this",  and this takes away the urge to get done with it as soon as possible. Besides, twice a week I go to practice.  So many times I feel like staying home, "this is not a good day for it"...  But I do away with this by conjuring the feeling of happiness, and then I feel like an Olympics athlete.

 

So my cultivation of happiness, the auto-suggestion,  keeps me stretching daily.  Without it, I would have quit it long time ago.  And with this, I would have had to quit the practice of martial arts,  with the excuse of "I am too old for this".  As a result, I would now feel old and defeated,  lamenting not having it done earlier, depressed by my alleged decline towards being an invalid.   Instead, I feel proud of myself, full of enthusiasm, and eager to pass on this mental exercise that helps me.

 

So... No more excuses!  You have read it!  Put your head to work, and cultivate your happiness too!!  Don't be lazy, don't try to be "cute".  Do Your Own Experiment,  and you won't regret it.