Guest Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) I've only recent joined blowing wind and after receiving enough messages I realised that there is a common expectation of me to be Chinese... And because I'm not, suddenly the conversation stops. And I have to go through the hassle of 'it's alright' 'no problem' because I have to apologize for my race. Why is that? Is this a sign of internalized racism? Where simply because the majority of people in S'pore are Chinese, it's excusable for people to act like the other races don't exist. What do you think? Edited September 22, 2015 by SacridLight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 What do u mean by the "conversation stops"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 I've only recent joined blowing wind and after receiving enough messages I realised that there is a common expectation of me to be Chinese... And because I'm not, suddenly the conversation stops. And I have to go through the hassle of 'it's alright' 'no problem' because I have to apologize for my race. Why is that? Is this a sign of internalized racism? Where simply because the majority of people in S'pore are Chinese, it's excusable for people to act like the other races don't exist. What do you think? As much as I do not condone 'internalized racism' of any sort, I would think it might be more appropriate to use the term 'personal preference' in this case. Maybe you would like to look at it this way: It's their loss for not being able to see through the veneer of race, not yours. And as they say, one door shut will lead to others that will open to you, along the way. Good luck, and most importantly, have no expectations whatsoever (though I think you do not have any to begin with) minami and iamziz 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=67973#entry1297928Super megathread of a similar topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Until We all look and behaving the same, you will get that every country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamziz Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Topdownunder and mate69 2 Quote ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 。| “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind, changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up." ― J'son M. Lee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkflame Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 I thought this thread was about Han chauvinism.Would you even want to hang out with such people?They have only one motive when they messaged you. Quote I'm always running after you. You are my ideal. You are me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Leo Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 This is a Chinese majority country, what do you expect? It is part of human nature to be drawn to people that our brain perceives to be similar to ourselves. I wouldn't call this racism, but inherent human nature or psychology. If you want to be privileged equally as the majority, you should live in a country where your own racial group is the majority. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 i think "left hand of darkness" by ursula k le guin is an incredibly poetic, unapologetically dogged and deservedly compassionate meditation on race issues.go read it.Thank you I'll be sure to check it out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Pls tell me which country doesn't ve racism, I will migrate there. Quote 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovemehard Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Pls tell me which country doesn't ve racism, I will migrate there.Lol it's called heaven dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamziz Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Pls tell me which country doesn't ve racism, I will migrate there. I seriously doubt there is any but we could all play our part to make someone's life better when it comes to racism. Quote ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 。| “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind, changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up." ― J'son M. Lee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grambond Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 There's a similar discussion in the comments section here: https://www.facebook.com/GaySgConfessions/posts/1063005060410586 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 X-centrism occurs in every country influenced by the predominant culture of the majority race. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topdownunder Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 It's their loss and move on, dude. No time to be wasting on guys who are narrow minded. Indian dude here and I don't have a problem in Sydney. I am sure there is a niche market that non Chinese in sg contribute to. Personally I don't care about race or colour. Sexy is sexy in any colour. Excluding someone on the basis of race or colour is racism regardless of what you call it. Just because it's personal preference, would one rather sleep with a 60 yr old man of a desired race rather than an age-matched guy of a different colour?Sadly I have seen plenty of the former. Traveler3032 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topdownunder Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Can't agree enough, Ziz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 So why do you think MJ - Michael Jackson need to bleach himself white to become a superstar and died as one ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lourdes Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 (edited) On 9/25/2015 at 3:36 PM, Guest said: So why do you think MJ - Michael Jackson need to bleach himself white to become a superstar and died as one ! . Edited January 19, 2016 by lourdes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 MJ suffered from vitiligo, a skin condition that made certain parts of his skin white. Even if he did bleach his skin, it was to counter that, not to become a part of the white population.Oh yeah , nice try for an excuse believed by millions ..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 MJ suffered from vitiligo, a skin condition that made certain parts of his skin white. Even if he did bleach his skin, it was to counter that, not to become a part of the white population.Indonesian government also said they did their very best to help control and prevent haze over the years and I certainly believe in them whole heartily too , ha ha ha ...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Oh yeah , nice try for an excuse believed by millions ..... Not sure if you're acting stupid or really stupid... Topdownunder 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Instaxphotog Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 X-centrism occurs in every country influenced by the predominant culture of the majority race.That's stating the obvious, but it doesn't mean it's okay to let it happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Interesting responses. So far I've gotten to understand it this way: when you choose to only date a certain race under the guise of 'preference', instead of treating that person as an individual, you treat that person as a collective of negative stereotypes surrounding that race. Playing into stereotypes is still racism. No doubt X-centrism occurs in every country, but the extent varies, and the dialogue surrounding it varies. I don't think that's good reason enough to dismiss it as a trivial matter :/ This is a Chinese majority country, what do you expect? It is part of human nature to be drawn to people that our brain perceives to be similar to ourselves. I wouldn't call this racism, but inherent human nature or psychology. If you want to be privileged equally as the majority, you should live in a country where your own racial group is the majority. I wouldn't consider someone who has the skin colour as me to be 'similar' to me. This is, again, removing all the layers of a person and only judging someone by their skin colour, no? True, our initial judgement of someone else is of their physicality, but I'm sure you're mature enough to move beyond that initial judgement to learn about someone's values, likes, dislikes, and intellect? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngpunk Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 I've only recent joined blowing wind and after receiving enough messages I realised that there is a common expectation of me to be Chinese... And because I'm not, suddenly the conversation stops. And I have to go through the hassle of 'it's alright' 'no problem' because I have to apologize for my race. Why is that? Is this a sign of internalized racism? Where simply because the majority of people in S'pore are Chinese, it's excusable for people to act like the other races don't exist. What do you think? you actually didn't have to go through the hassle of "it's alright", "no problem", etc. if it is indeed not alright or is a problem to you. you can just tell the person how you feel if that sits better with you. Interesting responses. So far I've gotten to understand it this way: when you choose to only date a certain race under the guise of 'preference', instead of treating that person as an individual, you treat that person as a collective of negative stereotypes surrounding that race. Playing into stereotypes is still racism. No doubt X-centrism occurs in every country, but the extent varies, and the dialogue surrounding it varies. I don't think that's good reason enough to dismiss it as a trivial matter :/ I wouldn't consider someone who has the skin colour as me to be 'similar' to me. This is, again, removing all the layers of a person and only judging someone by their skin colour, no? True, our initial judgement of someone else is of their physicality, but I'm sure you're mature enough to move beyond that initial judgement to learn about someone's values, likes, dislikes, and intellect? i have my own preferences, and i don't think it's racism. it's kinda like when you go into a gallery and look at art pieces, you may be more attracted to modern art than, say, abstract art. both may very well be equally substantial in meaning and valuable, but given the vast number of collections and your finite time at the gallery, your natural tendency is probably to save time going through abstract art and head straight to the modern out section. that's how i see preference. you PREFER one over another. and that doesn't mean you hate abstract, you're just NEUTRAL about it. racism, to me, involves active dislike, which is not necessarily the case. anyway, better find out earlier than later, then you can spend more time on those who accept you for who you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IkuTube Posted September 28, 2015 Report Share Posted September 28, 2015 .. the political and cultural implications of race go way deeper. .. racism is real. and hurtful. .. sino-centrism is not racism. far from it. in which case, i think i/we might have veered way off course. First, I must agree with hannibalism that "sino-centrism is not racism". But that does not mean that I will dismiss the sociological perspective that is being associated with it. However, my writing here is not to highlight on the connections between the behavior of individual people and the structures of the society in which we live. I want to digress. The irony to the word "Acceptance" where A is the beginning of the alphabetical order, the implied word is always critical for implementation. Often, it leaves us wondering. Often, we will want to believe that we are all accepting beings. It is always easy to say it but it is never easy to act. The beginning is the conception to everything and it does not necessarily mean the beginning to everything good, everything right, everything perfect. Only when we can fully understand to accept the duality in life that we learn to become peaceful within. That everything does not matter but living with the choice we make is. Knowing that we cannot please everybody, anywhere and everywhere, we must learn to accept our limitations and live to its full potentials and make hay while the sun shines. It may sadden and disappoint us but it does not mean it will be the end of the world. So long we always strive to become better than we are, we will never know what a better tomorrow may bring. I like and respect the spirit that's in iamziz. Being a minority himself, he has learned to simply be himself and not lived by someone else's standards. I truly believe that he is a happy man doing what he knows best. His simplicity should be a virture where we must emulate to learn. As in posting, "I've reached a point in my life where I find it's no longer necessary to try to impress anyone. if they like me the way I am, that's good. if they don't, it's their loss". It is in such spirit that opens opportunity. Quote Click Here To Visit My Blog @ "The Blessed Life" *Let me live my life to be an instrument of 'Love', in how I speak and in how I see others* - May there be Love and Peace beyond all understanding - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest State Race From Start Posted September 28, 2015 Report Share Posted September 28, 2015 I don't understand why people don't simply put their race, or color, or whatever in their profile from the beginning. That makes it easier for those who are physically attracted to, or interested in, your race to find you and vice versa. Much simpler to be open from the start than to deal with awkwardness or rejection later. Also, if folks are "Sino-centric" or "Racist," forget about them and move on to another target. You will eventually find somebody who likes you for who you are. Don't waste time lusting after people who are not interested in you. I learned this a long time ago, after years of anguish, and never looked back since then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted September 28, 2015 Report Share Posted September 28, 2015 Akin to saying that we can no longer have preferences, like how one can prefer the other over another for their body-shape, size, endowment, and many other physical traits that we widely accept as preferences, but just because we're politically attuned to race, we may only define racial preferences as racism. We should all not pick and choose base on preferential grounds when it comes to our private lives, but be obligated and take it as it is. That reeks of totalitarianism, because racial preference isn't hurtful, rejection is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted October 15, 2015 Report Share Posted October 15, 2015 Does it not exist in every country? Go to Japan, half the bars are Japanese only. Go to Paris, all the bars are staffed by whites. It's up there with wondering why Chinese dramas have so many Chinese people! dreamerboy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 13, 2016 Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 If one 'prefers' something, that should mean that you are open to choices, but you prefer a particular choice. But what we see here is that 'personal preference' just means I'm not interested in anyone that isn't chinese. Period. Writing off a person simply because of the colour of his skin is racism. I've always believed that it was preference until I experienced rejection myself in Australia. It kinda woke me up. I got so tired of being rejected and ignored on Grindr so I decided to mass message a few guys asking why they ignored me. Only one person replied and he said 'take a hint you fucking chink'. Told my Indian Singaporean friend about it. He said 'Well...now you know how we feel in Singapore'. sharkbaithoohaha and Active1994 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycandie Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) I don't think racism is the issue here. It's a matter of individual preference. Conversation "stops" for a number of other reasons as well, eg. too chub, too old etc.... But you don't really see these groups claiming they are being discriminated against. Try looking around these forums, you can actually see threads where people express a preference or love for certain races here (Indians, Malays etc). Cheers! Edited March 14, 2016 by Lycandie Typo justpassingtime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 5 hours ago, Lycandie said: I don't think racism is the issue here. It's a matter of individual preference. Conversation "stops" for a number of other reasons as well, eg. too chub, too old etc.... But you don't really see these groups claiming they are being discriminated against. Try looking around these forums, you can actually see threads where people express a preference or love for certain races here (Indians, Malays etc). Cheers! Quite agreed. It is actually the physical characteristics that people preferred, not the race per se. If you like smooth guy with single eye lid, then you properly preferred north Asians like Chinese, Korean or Japanese. justpassingtime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 12 hours ago, Lycandie said: I don't think racism is the issue here. It's a matter of individual preference. Conversation "stops" for a number of other reasons as well, eg. too chub, too old etc.... But you don't really see these groups claiming they are being discriminated against. Try looking around these forums, you can actually see threads where people express a preference or love for certain races here (Indians, Malays etc). Cheers! On the contrary, people do claim discrimination in such cases e.g. chub, age. The difference is that those traits can be changed i.e. you could have done something about it. Too chub...can exercise. Too old... you were once young. But race? Too Indian? Too Malay? How do you change that? I don't think it's a 'preference' when complete races are removed from consideration. Preference implies consideration, but many don't stop to even consider minority races. But I don't know how to move from this. I mean, I admit that I might be a bit racist in denying a person a chance because I'm not interested in his race, but at the same time, surely the answer cannot be that I 'give chance' just for the sake of it right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted March 15, 2016 Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 EXAMPLES Only indians = preference No malays or Chineses = discrimination Btw just cos the person u like is gay, it doesnt mean he must accept u. Quote 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teatree Posted March 15, 2016 Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 2 hours ago, fab said: EXAMPLES Only indians = preference No malays or Chineses = discrimination Btw just cos the person u like is gay, it doesnt mean he must accept u. True. ONLY Indians denotes that the person himself is also Indian. NO Malay or Chinese means ok with any other races except Malay or Chinese which sound very racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 15, 2016 Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 But some are too insensitive like to choose NO instead of ONLY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 15, 2016 Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 Singapore is predominantly of Chinese descend and so majority of posters here would expect and prefer their own kind for whatever reasons. Nothing wrong with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 On 24 September 2015 at 2:18 PM, Guest Leo said: This is a Chinese majority country, what do you expect? It is part of human nature to be drawn to people that our brain perceives to be similar to ourselves. I wouldn't call this racism, but inherent human nature or psychology. If you want to be privileged equally as the majority, you should live in a country where your own racial group is the majority. Wow this statement itself if is not racist I don't know what is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 hear it all too often: “I’m not racist, but I just wouldn’t date [insert race/ethnicity].” If you have to start a sentence with a clarification that you’re notracist, that’s a pretty good indicator that you need to reevaluate whatever you’re about to say. Type vs. Generalization Before I spark a litany of impassioned defenses of your dating history, I want to reassure you that I’m not saying that all preferences are inherently biased and oppressive. It’s okay to have a type. However, the most troublesome aspect of racial preferences lies in their exclusionary nature and heavy generalizations. It’s totally fine to acknowledge that you’re more attracted to certain traits, but it’s a whole different ballgame to use preferences in the negative. By stating that you wouldn’t date a certain group, you are essentially claiming that their superficial qualities would make it impossible for you to form an emotional connection – which is, let’s face it, prejudice. Take a fairly basic example: You’re into redheads. A few of your past partners have been redheads. But if a brunette starts flirting with you, are you really going to shut them down immediately? Probably not. You have no bearing on their personality yet and you likely recognize that hair color has little-to-no effect on potential romantic compatibility. At the very least, the slight edge in perceived physical attractiveness that a redhead would have had in your eyes can easily be compensated for by other traits you find attractive, like sense of humor or shared interests. So why is the logic of superficial judgment validated when it comes to race? Not dating someone on the basis of hair color sounds silly. Yet time and time again, racial preferences are shrugged off as a legitimate and immutable aspect of sexual individuality, to the point where questioning them is demonized as threatening someone’s personal expression with uptight, irrational political correctness. You’re probably noticing that this train of thought has a lot in common with the “born this way” argument for queerness. Preferences are not the same as orientation. You are not oppressed for being called out on stereotyping others. Lady Gaga isn’t going to pop out of the woodwork to vindicate your prejudiced asshole behavior. To clarify, inclusionary racial preferences can be racist as well. Saying that you only want to date a specific race is equally problematic because it defines someone by their ethnicity. Assuming that someone’s racial background gives them more desirable qualities reflects harmful histories of colonialism and the exotification and fetishization that went along with it. Basically, if someone’s skin color alone is enough to make you attracted or not attracted to them, take a step back and think about your life choices. Racial Preferences Are Not Your Right Racial preferences aren’t a celebratory, untouchable birthright transmitted to you in the womb. They aren’t a demarcation of any kind of fundamental individuality or any of the things that make you you. It’s learned cultural bias, plain and simple. You can’t possibly claim that you know for a fact that every single person of a given race or ethnicity has no chance of falling in love with you based entirely on physical appearance. Many people will use the “exposure” excuse as a justification for their preferences, asserting that they have very little experience interacting with a certain group. If anything, that makes your argument even more misguided because you are basically admitting that you’ve never been given the opportunity to try and form relationships with anyone from that community, so how do you even have enough information to “know”that you won’t be attracted to people that you’ve never met? This brings us to the heart of the problem: stereotypes. The Logic (or Lack Thereof) Behind Racial Preferences If you ask someone why they think they wouldn’t date a certain race, the answer will almost always be rooted in a stereotype. Sometimes the response will be pawned off as physical taste, such as “I don’t like their eyes” (which is really racist), or the person will try to get around the race factor by invoking a personality trait assumed to be shared by the whole group, like “They’re just so lazy” (which is still really racist). Implied universalism is not only biased, but dangerous in the ways that it allows racial and cultural hierarchies to persist while enabling the individual to avoid any self-introspection of the factors that led to the formation of this perspective. Other times, racial preferences can be traced back to a bad dating experience. While I have sympathy for people who have endured unhealthy relationships and believe that the healing process should certainly be handled delicately, writing off an entire group because of a few crappy partners seems unfair and excessive at best. You can’t assume that every future partner who is vaguely similar is going to treat you poorly, especially not based off of a quality as superficial as race. If your ex was a fan of 80s music, would you cross anyone who liked Prince off your list in the future? It’s elementary narrow-mindedness that avoids scrutiny because of some imagined concrete distinction between races. The Effects of Perceived Racial Difference Race and ethnicity have also been mistakenly correlated to supposedly irreconcilable cultural and socioeconomical differences. People associate certain races with certain cultures and come to the foregone conclusion that they couldn’t possibly understand someone from an unfamiliar culture enough to build a relationship. At best, this ideology is simple ignorance. At worst, it borders on a racial superiority complex since the assumption is that your way of life is better and shouldn’t be tainted or complicated by taking on the onus of navigating cross-cultural differences. This has a ripple effect on other preconceived notions as well, such as associating ethnic backgrounds with a certain career trajectory and earning potential. Such a train of thought arbitrarily privileges some groups over others based on the positive or negative stereotypes that underpin their race. The argument that you can know whether or not someone is a good person with a strong work ethic just by looking at them is beyond ridiculous. You can’t guess how ambitious someone is any more than you can guess their hobbies. Intertwining the potential for social mobility with ethnicity rehearses a colonial omniscience that attaches varying value to skin color. Exclusionary preferences can create internalized racism and inspire people to refuse to date members of their own community. Rather, they endeavor to only consider socially legitimate ethnic groups (usually limited to whiteness) as viable partners. The idea of “cherry picking” races to somehow magically have an ideal partner or relationship due to the racial dynamic alone needs to stop. Not only is it unreliable and illogical, but it propagates and validates oppression. So What? Race in itself has absolutely no bearing on a person’s effectiveness as a partner or their impact on a relationship. It just doesn’t. You may not consciously recognize or admit that racial preferences imply this, but if you stop and think about it, it couldn’t be more straightforward. Racial preferences reduce people to their ethnicity and reinforce racial hierarchies by insinuating that race alone is a powerful enough factor to negate everything else that someone has to offer. Claiming that someone is unworthy of associating with you because of race and hiding behind the flimsy excuse of sexual tastes or lack of hypothetical romantic chemistry is racist. It’s true that anyone can have undesirable traits and you shouldn’t feel obligated to be with a person solely for inclusivity’s sake, but that doesn’t mean that those traits are ethnically specific. Some preferences are fine. Blanket assumptions based on race, ethnicity, and culture, particularly when these qualities are perceived as inherent deal breakers in forming a potential relationship, are not. You can’t know whether or not you have chemistry with someone unless you get to know them. Sure, plenty of interracial couples are incompatible, but I highly doubt that racial differences spelled their demise. Be open-minded. Your biases could be cutting you off from an incredibly fulfilling relationship. Dating is hard enough without allowing stereotypes to bottleneck your dating pool. http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/racial-preferences-are-racist/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 Everywhere you live is same rah, otherwise We all look and speak the same like those KPop singers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Teatree Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 I am Chinese and when a Caucasian or Indian rejected me, I don't feel anything racist about it. It should be the same vice versa. Why should people use racism as an excuse for rejection? Why should people feel that minority race is always the victim of racism and not the other way round? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 45 minutes ago, Guest Teatree said: I am Chinese and when a Caucasian or Indian rejected me, I don't feel anything racist about it. It should be the same vice versa. Why should people use racism as an excuse for rejection? Why should people feel that minority race is always the victim of racism and not the other way round? Maybe u were rejected not because of your race..could be other reasons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 37 minutes ago, Guest Teatree said: I am Chinese and when a Caucasian or Indian rejected me, I don't feel anything racist about it. It should be the same vice versa. Why should people use racism as an excuse for rejection? Why should people feel that minority race is always the victim of racism and not the other way round? Well that depends. Of course, if they reject you in Singapore solely because of your race, it could also be plain racism. Rejection from a minority could also be a case of giving the chinese a taste of their own medicine (and some do, out of frustration). If you were rejected in where you have no majority power, e.g. in Japan or the US, there's a high chance that the rejection was based on racial grounds. If in such a situation, you want to feel resigned to accept your 'lower' status, that's your prerogative but it doesn't make their rejection any less racist. The reason why you are not as quick to claim victimisation is the same reason why white guys in the US also don't. Both of you have a bigger pool to choose from (more people are open to dating/fucking you because you form part of the group in which their 'preferences' fit), and unlike a minority person, experiences of rejection based on racial grounds are comparatively fewer. Being rejected by a minority would reduce your choices from 10 to 9 persons. For a minority, it's more like 3 to 2, or 2 to 1 if you are dark skinned. (as an example). You know there are other fishes in the ocean. This is why you don't instinctively cry victimisation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamerboy Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 It is indeed hard to live in a world where people are so eager to get offended or hurt, blame everyone else for their unhappiness and treat people as means rather than ends in themselves. Why not acceptance and kindness for a change? The other party whom you label as racist is not going to hurl abuse at you, discriminate against you at work or affect your livelihood. He is simply not giving you his love - HIS LOVE. Why do you demand for it so much? I understand that some people might be frustrated, but that is no reason to blame others. I mean...there are very few gays in Singapore - compared to str8 guys - but must I blame those str8 guys for not being into gays? We can argue until the cows come home - until Mario Maurer grows old - and there still won't be a conclusion. So what if you (we) win the argument by statistics, credible articles, etc? You (we) will still not find the love you (we) seek. kingbitch 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 4 minutes ago, dreamerboy said: It is indeed hard to live in a world where people are so eager to get offended or hurt, blame everyone else for their unhappiness and treat people as means rather than ends in themselves. Why not acceptance and kindness for a change? The other party whom you label as racist is not going to hurl abuse at you, discriminate against you at work or affect your livelihood. He is simply not giving you his love - HIS LOVE. Why do you demand for it so much? I understand that some people might be frustrated, but that is no reason to blame others. I mean...there are very few gays in Singapore - compared to str8 guys - but must I blame those str8 guys for not being into gays? We can argue until the cows come home - until Mario Maurer grows old - and there still won't be a conclusion. So what if you (we) win the argument by statistics, credible articles, etc? You (we) will still not find the love you (we) seek. Yes so you agree it is racist. so no need to deny it isn't. It is ok to be labelled as racist. Accept who you are. Dont need be get offended also. Don't need to pretend to be a saint. No one is perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamerboy Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 2 minutes ago, Guest said: Yes so you agree it is racist. so no need to deny it isn't. It is ok to be labelled as racist. Accept who you are. Dont need be get offended also. Don't need to pretend to be a saint. No one is perfect. If you insist it is racist, so be it. But pls don't put words into my mouth. Also, who am I (or you) to pronounce this or that racist or not? In plain words: all these don't matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 Yawn Quote 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Teatree Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 2 hours ago, Guest said: Maybe u were rejected not because of your race..could be other reasons Exactly, you got the answer!. Not because of race, but because I am physically not compatible. Same goes to non-Chinese rejected by Chinese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 "The other party whom you label as racist is not going to hurl abuse at you, discriminate against you at work or affect your livelihood." Perhaps not him per se but there are actual stories of not only foreigners but our own local Indians and Malays who've had their CVs denied consideration solely because they don't 'fit' the work environment. In some circles, it's even an unofficial HR directive. What we see on this thread is merely a reflection of how wider society works. Like how it's like in the gay world in Singapore, many here would get riled up not because of the unwarranted discrimination but because minorities have the audacity to highlight and ask for accountability in a country that proudly calls itself multiracial and meritocratic. 'How dare you tell the world that this is nothing but a farce. Stop creating trouble. Stop ruining our hegemony erm I mean harmony. Just accept your place in society and shut up'. I could go on and on but like someone said, Mario Maurer would be an old man by then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 26 minutes ago, Guest Teatree said: Exactly, you got the answer!. Not because of race, but because I am physically not compatible. Same goes to non-Chinese rejected by Chinese. How could it be the same? i am not sure what do u mean by physically not compatible. you can reject a person because he is taller/fatter/fairer skin etc. but when u reject one person just because he is of a certain race - that is racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Smooth Posted March 16, 2016 Report Share Posted March 16, 2016 1 hour ago, Guest said: How could it be the same? i am not sure what do u mean by physically not compatible. you can reject a person because he is taller/fatter/fairer skin etc. but when u reject one person just because he is of a certain race - that is racist. Can I also reject a person if he is hairy, like most Indians and Caucasians are? Will you call me a racist? I prefer smooth skin guys, fortunately or unfortunately, that most Chinese and north east Asians are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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