i guess it is kind of pathetic that i am still evergreen at over 30. i dont think im hideous and i think my personality is ok to people who did not offend me.    and i have got people confessing to me before.   oh well... there is actually a long long story to it and yes, part of it definitely is because of being in the closet.   not sure why i am typing this here but i have been having insomnia and part of it is because i am thinking i am slowly losing all my memories of past crushes and that i