Guest charles Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Weird as in.... Before meetup : Alot of things to talk After meetup : nothing much to chat . arghh why is this happening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duhdoy Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 no sparks? lol "Go out looking like you want to be seen - reliable, respectable; A man who can deliver, not one of the boys" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Why not continue with the topics before meet up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest charles Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 no sparks? lolNot really..Just that we can click when meetup can talk etc..but after meet up like " disconnected " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gucici Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 I understood the feeling of not knowing wad else to say. But i have already came up with a solution Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest charles Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 The whole thing is.. Before meet up we could talk well " Online " and meetup we can talk and get along well.. BUT after-meetup..... its more like online and offline.... like of feeling.. the meetup was good i could say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ant Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Seems like he's just not into you... Why not ask him how's the meet up, and initiate another meet up to determine his response? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest charles Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Seems like he's just not into you...Why not ask him how's the meet up, and initiate another meet up to determine his response?no its not him.it's just me... almost every date with other guys ended the same.i just felt that "disconnected" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jeff Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Mayb u want fun but meeting up for chat n meal is not yr intention?ask yrself wat u want n initiate for nrxt meet up.or meet me u will feel konekted.lolx kidding ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ant Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 no its not him.it's just me...almost every date with other guys ended the same.i just felt that "disconnected"Is he not charming and attractive enough for you, that you feel there are more handsome choices out there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Disconnected? Maybe after he has seen ur face n bod, which turned up not his type or expectation?! Thts y nothing much to chat liao? 对自己好是一种幸福， 对别人好是一种积福。 Spend time counting your blessings, not airing your complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluerunner Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 He is expecting a Greek God. Forget about that guy. Move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timtale Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 He's just not that into you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clickclock Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 I too have experienced this scenario way too many times before since being into the aj circle.I've gotten so fed up to the point that I would initiate a meet up asap before any further conversations are made with the other party. Often, they do turn out well! because long nights of texting would not be in vain. The same applies for having fun too, instead of agreeing to have fun online, I would ask the other party to meet up and have a chat with me to see if we click and either party could just reject each other if we are not each other's type. I draw sexy men, visit http://www.toastwire.tumblr.com click on 'My Artworks'. Willing to take on comissions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Seems like you haven't met the right one who gets you up and keeps you there. That, or you might wanna lower your expectations a little. And if you're having issues with being "online" and "offline", I suggest getting off the internet for a while. People should be building the foundation of relationships with their ears and skin, not just the eyes - and I can't stress this enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chan Chee Wai Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 You are not his type, which the guy go for appearance, age, money....etc.No need to bother tooo much....move on your life. On the way, you will meet Mr.Right one day.I have the same experiences as you....take it easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkflame Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 I met someone whom I had a great conversation with online.When we met, he was darn quiet and I kept trying to make small talk.After our meetup in person, he sent me a message to apologise that he was very quiet in real life.We are still in close contact. I'm always running after you. You are my ideal. You are me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teatree Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 You are not his type.He is not your type.This happened meetup after meetup. It really depends what's on your mind and motive on meeting up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouat1972 Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 The higher the expectations the greater the disappointment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcx2210 Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Because of the expectation? At least one of them must be willingly to speak up. Once both are warmed up it should be okay. Remember if you can chat online, should be able to chat face to face. Just need to remind yourself the person in front of you is the one who chatted with u online Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anddomtake Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Don't meet people via the Internet then. Usually, I get to know people through parties and events, that why you know what you are dealing with and you can see if there is any chemistry between the two of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Justheretokaypoh Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Hi clickclockI totally agree with you . Initiate the meetup before long walls of text I realize that Before meetup - there are a long walls of text and after meet up the long walls become short walls and things get boring Basically nothing to chat anymore because during meetup whatever can be talk about have been talked . It's hard to maintain that kind of continuous chatting after meetup The feeling and sparks must be there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tic-toc Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 Many people just aren't capable to handle face to face conversation. My recent meet ups with two persons have been eye opening. One continued to play his game with his smart phone, another one just cannot stop chatting on line. When I asked them a question, they will reply spontanously but without looking up from their phone. They were not hostile and behave as it was a normal thing to do. I felt awkward about the situation and wondered what was the motive to meet up. We could just continue chatting on line. The day after, they were still keen to meet up with me again!!!?? How strange. If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max001 Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 guess both of u must really make an effort if its only one party doing his job then it will always end up like no feeling or no chemistry... me too met someone and did go out on a few dates but its seems like he is always waiting to be served.. like going for movie.. I hv to get the tickets... go for meal he just sit there waiting to be served till I feel so tired.. I don't mind but not ALWAYS ahhahha... guess the person is just plain lazy or ..... I dunno ..... speechless! all the best to u guys out there and to myself! hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kelvin Posted May 8, 2015 Report Share Posted May 8, 2015 Lol, those are the diva suffering from dilusional disorder, "the princess disease" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcx2210 Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 Many people just aren't capable to handle face to face conversation. My recent meet ups with two persons have been eye opening. One continued to play his game with his smart phone, another one just cannot stop chatting on line. When I asked them a question, they will reply spontanously but without looking up from their phone. They were not hostile and behave as it was a normal thing to do. I felt awkward about the situation and wondered what was the motive to meet up. We could just continue chatting on line. The day after, they were still keen to meet up with me again!!!?? How strange. i feel that it is sort of like a habit, they cant take their hands off their phone. It is just getting worst for asian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest State Race From Start Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 i feel that it is sort of like a habit, they cant take their hands off their phone. It is just getting worst for asian. I have a 24-year-old colleague from England who is the same way. I hate having lunch with him, because he asks me to talk and then uses his phone the entire time I am talking, and I know it's not related to work. I have to assume this is a generational issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Best is dont meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloz8dude Posted December 21, 2015 Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 (edited) I can't help it but share it here. I don't know if I'm the only one who had faced this weird encounters with people using this forum. I'm kinda annoyed and creeped out so I made this thread. It'll be a long post so I'll start with the main encounter that I want to discuss about.Third encounter: This is the most weirdest, stupidest and annoying thing happened today. This guy, he msged me by greeting me and providing all his stats(21 ch and blabla). I knew that he wanted a relationship. From my previous experience, most often they would prefer to find someone of their own race. So I told him that there isn't a point telling him my stats because he wouldn't be interested since I'm not chinese. He agreed, but then he said it's fine since he is looking for a friend too and clearly not seeking fun. It seems fair enough so I added him on Linechat. He requested for my pic(he had his display pic). So I set up my display pic to let him see my face from the app, but won't be able to save it to his phone. He then said thanks and fled. I was like "what the hell just happened?" I'm not pissed off that he rejected me but, this guy's profile is full of status update stating that finding a friend here is so difficult. Yet, he did this? If he is really a judgy person who can't be friends with another race with I believe, a decent look, then what was the point of complaining about not being able to find a friend in this forum?? Funny thing is, he didn't look that good either, but I was all in for a friendship. He wasn't.Similar incident happened many times since I've joined this forum but couldn't get a chance to share it. There was once, had a month long conversation with this guy but then he fled because he thought I was Chinese. Some would straight away propose me to be their boyfriend and after that when I reveal my race, they ignore me and block me off. It's just so strange people doing this. I mean what is it that they want? You can't assume that everyone here is Chinese right? Is it my fault that I come from a minority race who happens to be gay also? Sometimes encounters like this makes me wanna give up and be single forever. Edited December 21, 2015 by cloz8dude ExhibitGuy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloz8dude Posted December 21, 2015 Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 (edited) First one: A guy saw my thread about "is relationship pointless", so he thought I was looking for relationship(I told him it wasn't). We had short chat in the forum and then he wanted to add me on Line. He promised me that he is not seeking fun, hence I gave him my line ID. He added me and we were having a normal conversation when suddenly, he called me. After accepting the call, he started saying my voice is sexy and if can "moan" for him. I was stupefied. I told him I'm not into all this and then I had cut the line. And blocked him. Btw, he was underage, got to know about it when he msged me the moment before he made the call, crazy... Second one: Someone chatted me up asking if I know how to make mobile app. We really had a good long conversation in the forum before bringing it to Line Chat. There, he seemed kinda fascinated about my hobby as he kept asking if I can teach him. Unexpectedly he said he wanted to meet me. I was on my way to work, so I told him about it. He said why not he go there help me out at my workplace so that he can "admire me and drool"(???). He then called me, asking me how to fix a whatsapp problem. But clearly, he wanted to hear my voice because right after the call he commented that my voice is(again) sexy... He kept insisting that he go to my workplace to help me out as I will be tired etc. I was busy all day, so couldn't talk to him for many hours. At night when I replied the reason, he told me to be "nice to him"? I questioned him what happened, all he gave was "LOL". So I never chat with him again, but did not block him yet. Edited December 22, 2015 by cloz8dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeowPrince Posted December 21, 2015 Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 That is life man. Just brush off these encounters and move on. I'm pretty sure many other have had similar run-ins. I've got a boyfriend whom I love and who loves me. And that does not deter stalkers and psychos. Even with Line chat groups and private chats, there are nutcases aplenty. And they are not race-specific. I've had a fat malay guy stalk me, a causasian nutjob proposing to me (after having somehow seen me with my bf), and a tall blond-wannabe chinese persistently want bdsm and sex with me. Just ignore/block them and move on. There is a lot more to life than these morons. Meet up with people of similar interests, preferably in small groups and make friends from there. If you happen to encounter idiots, well, they are called idiots for a reason, right? Of course, if you want to share stories of such run-ins, I'm sure it make good reading for some. That said, there are lots of decent people out there too. Good luck! jelfordtan, cloz8dude and Phil 3 Instagram @the_meowprince Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamperBoy Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 People will go to great lenghts (and I mean great!) to see a photo of the other party. cloz8dude 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Well said MeowPrince. TS, you will find all kinds of people out there - our group is really not that different from mainstream society in that there will be some people who are not comfortable with people they are not used to, that they did not grow up with. A pity as I think there are rich learnings from other cultures. In addition to that, you will have people who behave strangely, irrespective of the race situation - that is quite obvious, dont you think, reading what some people post here? So, dont lose heart, just be aware of strange people and what they do but dont close your heart off to a Mr Right who might come along when you least expect him. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 The only constant you will find in our gay community is that we are gay. Everything else is variable. After all, sexual orientation is just one part of a person. There really are lots of different people out there. Personally, I wouldn't use any of those dating apps, or use online platforms such as this, for anything too serious. Different places attract different kinds of guys. You just won't find any good ones (or at least it's extremely hard) in such places. You will never find apples growing on mango trees and vice versa. Flame me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Much of our gay scene is pretty crap anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CuriousFun Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Agree to MeowPrince. I also come across a few such people in this forum. It does make me feel disturbed and even angry sometimes, but what MeowPrince said is right, just move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lostmyaccount Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 I am so sorry you met creeps like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G_M Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 First one: A guy saw my thread about "is relationship pointless", so he thought I was looking for relationship(I told him it wasn't). We had short chat in the forum and then he wanted to add me on Line. He promised me that he is not seeking fun, hence I gave him my line ID. He added me and we were having a normal conversation when suddenly, he called me. After accepting the call, he started saying my voice is sexy and if can "moan" for him. I was stupefied. I told him I'm not into all this and then I had cut the line. And blocked him. Btw, he was underage, got to know it when he msged me the moment before he made the called, crazy... Please PM me the user name and line of this person you had chatted with who is underage. I will help you teach this idiot a lesson by banning him. I take those who flout our rules seriously. Thank you. http://www.facebook.com/gachimuchi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nipoet Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 *pat pat*It takes all sorts, I guess. You just had a particularly "lucky" run with the weird ones, OP. xDI do agree with Camperboy, though. They just wanna bioh you. And if you're their type, regardless of race, they're probably gonna ask u for "fun". Just take these people with a pinch of salt, and an open mind. The underage dood shouldn't be in this forum in the first place, he's in for some banning.Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 I can't help it but share it here...He requested for my pic(he had his display pic). So I set up my display pic to let him see my face from the app, but won't be able to save it to his phone...Can't save but still can be print-screened if he wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hitex Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 . So I set up my display pic to let him see my face from the app, but won't be able to save it to his phone.apparently you do not know the screen capture function of a smartphone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonely57 Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Speaking of underage.. I think banning them.. Doesn't really make much difference. Look at all the guests. They could be 11 year old girls looking for sex lol..One weird encounter I had was me? Falling for someone after one night. But I didn't pester him or anything la. Just felt overly depressed lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blacque Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Speaking of underage.. I think banning them.. Doesn't really make much difference. Look at all the guests. They could be 11 year old girls looking for sex lol..One weird encounter I had was me? Falling for someone after one night. But I didn't pester him or anything la. Just felt overly depressed lol.You are not alone, for real... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clickclock Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) firstly, i acknowledge that not everyone falls into this stereotype that I am about to say as it is just based on the vibe that I am getting on this forum. I mean, this forum is cool with the great moderators and all, i'm referring to the weirdos now.I reckon that more weirdos and anti-social people are drawn to this forum as they are able to avoid confrontational chatting (chatting in person, showing face etc) unlike meeting at gar bars or initiating chats with face pics via the use of gay dating apps like jackd and grindr.During my younger days (18 plus etc) when I was more shy and awkward, yes I used this forum as a means to meet people but I have since grown out of it by learning to socialize and talk to strangers I have never met before. As for some people however, they have never grown out of it.why do I think so? well, the crowd of guys that approach me on the forum as compared to the apps are significantly different, the ones on the apps are more willing to chat and show their pics as opposed to the people whom chat me up here with awful social ethics (fake pics, act drama when requested for a pic, say shy when asked for a pic, play victim card and saying I am superficial etc) Edited December 22, 2015 by Clickclock I draw sexy men, visit http://www.toastwire.tumblr.com click on 'My Artworks'. Willing to take on comissions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairy springroll Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Move on dudetoo many scams and craps around nowadays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyo74 Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 People will go to great lenghts (and I mean great!) to see a photo of the other party.This is why i put my face pic in my profile so that i dont have to waste my time talking to someone not interested in my face but some people also never believe that your face is yours or think its the younger version of yours lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloz8dude Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Thanks guys for sharing your views on this and giving me your words of encouragement. I feel a lot better reading most of your replies. Yeah I know I gotta move on but when this thing keep happening to me constantly, I start running low on hope. I kinda used to think that we gay guys are more caring, understanding and less judgmental beings since we are outcasts but it's true, we are just gay, everyting else is variable(as what above guest replied). I think I'll just use this forum moslty for disscussions from now on. As what MeowPrince said, I might share more encounters in this thread in the future if I still come across any. If you don't mind me asking guys, where else can I look for people in the gay circle? Other websites, apps, anything? I don't want to have anything to do with casual fun and stuff like that. I just want connect with someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloz8dude Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) Please PM me the user name and line of this person you had chatted with who is underage. I will help you teach this idiot a lesson by banning him. I take those who flout our rules seriously. Thank you. Unfortunately, I have forgotten his id in this forum since he used the private chat to add me on linechat. I'm so sorry about it:/ I have screen shots of the conversation on linechat though. apparently you do not know the screen capture function of a smartphone. I kinda do, but would they really go to this length just to save my face pic? And most important of all, should I be worried??! Edited December 22, 2015 by cloz8dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sadforyou Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 I am honestly sorry to hear about your encounter and can relate. It does suck that a minority race has to feel even smaller in an already small community. The sad truth is, I don't think this will change during my time (20s) now. Having said that, I've never ever experienced any form of racism until I started talking to gay people. Shocker? It's true. It's 100% easier to make friends in real life (school work etc...). Online, it doesn't matter if u look really good or have a wonderful personality... Your chances are lowered the moment you say you are not Chinese. And the worse part is... There is a weird hierarchy in the community that I took time to learn about. For example : Chinese > Malay > North Indian > South Indian Like wtf?Ok here's where things get real. You mentioned "So I told him that there isn't a point telling him my stats because he wouldn't be interested since I'm not chinese." ... STOP DOING THAT. You admit defeat and ruin all chances before even trying. I know how taxing it can be and I myself am guilty of the exact same thing. dude please stop that for a start. We are not lesser beings for the Colour of our skin or the language we speak. Don't let anyone put you down like that. You can't choose the race you are born with.Anyway i am non Chinese obviously and I am attached. Lo and behold ... I didn't find him on a LGBT forum or gay app ... It gets better dude. Please do everything u can to stay positive. It helps. Surround yourself with happy people (in real life). Don't get caught up having what seems to be nice chats for months only to have someone put u down due to your Colour or looks ... It's not worth the effort I feel. I'm not very good with words but I do wish u and all like us well in life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 I kinda do, but would they really go to this length just to save my face pic? And most important of all, should I be worried??!Yes some of them do, since the length they have to go is not that great, just a few hand movements and your face pic will be stored in their gadgets.Yes you should be worried since you appear to be discreet by not displaying your face as the DP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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