What Qualities To Look For In A Boyfriend + Seeking Love & Choosing The Right One (Compiled)

[snowball]

i think most important, know yourself well, what package you have & what you able to provide,

[Guest Rivrics]

Dated a good looking guy before and realize is super insecure. Somewhat shallow and worst of all does not know how to treat another party right! Somehow an ordinary looking guy has a more cheerful character and more fun to be with. Perhaps it is the values and life expectations both has to share similar views.

[gstc82]

hi. looks do play a part. appearance is important. however looks only can take u so far. dun need to be chris evans hunky, be neat and clean. lets be real, will u take a second glance at a untidy dirty fellow?

[Guest MC]

I want someone with a good heart, good personality, good career, good to parents, good to friends, good to me. Once I have these, looks is really secondary......

[waterballoon]

looks is so subjective. what is handsome/hot to you may not be the same to others.

personality, however, is just slightly more objective i guess lol. i mean in the right-minded thinking member of society... a good personality is pretty much standard, i think haha.

but in any case, bf is something that u define, and something that u desire. no one can tell u what a good bf is, or what defines one. most important thing is to know what u want, what u believe in, what u feel... ^^

[Guest Ironrod]

I just wanna say....to be betrayed by good looking guys or to be betrayed by ugly looking guys is your choice.

I have met faithful goodlooking guys, I have met slutty ugly guys - what is outside doesn't determine what is inside.

Most important is what are you trying to say TS? Ugly guys does not meant they are the best character, best tempered or most faithful that is a pure misconception.

[stars]

Can you really ignore the outside and focus on the inner being?

[Guest Guest]

most people that are not popular mostly very emo & insecure

[dsd]

my boyfriend must be fat and have a big backside.

he must also be old, lao ah pek type.

i guess that makes him ugly, right?

[Spin]

Is all fate lor.

[Spin]

Every individual gay guys are unique binging handsome not handsome club or cute.

Gay genes are super.

Every individual gay guys are unique being handsome not handsome club or cute.

Gay genes are super.

Edited August 18, 2011 by Spin

[alien]

I think the chemistry and fate btw me and him is impt, and the overall feeling tht i feel towards him.

[BeYourself]

Let me answer the topic's question. I go for his kind heart.

I haven't had a chance to meet and know many guys. But I am sure that there are different kinds of people. Like Ironrod said, there must be faithful good looking guys and unfaithful ugly guys. Who said you have to be unfaithful when you are good looking? And who can stop you from being unfaithful when you are ugly?

If we just have fun, like my ex once said, we don't really care bout his mind or his heart. But it's totally another story if we are talking about boyfriend. How can you be with someone who don't know how to treat you right?

[Guest Guest]

i want someone with a good heart first of all and then he must be pleasing to my eyes at least, no need to be very good looking. if you feel that you are not good looking - you have the choice to do what you want to change your looks. but if you are not insecure, then accept how you look. there will always be someone out there for you.

[Guest bfchooser]

if the heart is good and at the right place, the external appearance will also reflect it.

[Prince+ve]

It's not easy, it's a matter of trial and error.

I like to get to know the person 1st before indulging in any love making... if i can resist him lol

You gotta see if ya both can click and go further than just brotherly love.

It will be hurtful & many complications will arise but try to take each experience as unique and enjoy the fun

[Guest Kev]

Love is a big word,

There is a quote :

" Don't judge a scallop by its shell but we should judge by its pearl "

So you urself it's the only one can decide which is the right one.

[Blacque]

Lol how nice would it be if you could choose boyfriend like you're having a buffet.

[Freedom711]

Lol how nice would it be if you could choose boyfriend like you're having a buffet.

Boyfriends can be your buffet if you have the qualties. Still some oysters may looks good on the surface, it will give u hell after you ate. Really depends alot on luck and compability.

[windrunner]

Character always comes first. If he's good-looking then it's a bonus.

If he's good looking, then u have to be careful.

[Guest Zephz]

Lol how nice would it be if you could choose boyfriend like you're having a buffet.

lol

Then the person can do it in a return whether he accept u or choose other boyfriend like a buffet.

[Guest Do you?]

looks is so subjective. what is handsome/hot to you may not be the same to others.

personality, however, is just slightly more objective i guess lol. i mean in the right-minded thinking member of society... a good personality is pretty much standard, i think haha.

but in any case, bf is something that u define, and something that u desire. no one can tell u what a good bf is, or what defines one. most important thing is to know what u want, what u believe in, what u feel... ^^

Do u know what u want? Said is always easier than action :-)

[waterballoon]

Do u know what u want? Said is always easier than action :-)

unfortunately, i don't. i guess... that's part of the challenge, learning to know what u want. for some people, they learn when they get into a relationship... like for example, u always thought u like guys who take care of u etc, but maybe after a relationship with someone like that, u learned that u don't like such guys.

but for me... guess i'll need to learn what i want myself, and even then...

[snowball]

别一味的活在童话世界，理想和现实有很大的出入，多说无用，只有堕入爱河的情侣，才知家家都有难念的经，才知道不是一个人自以为是的 “ 处子 ” 宣言就可以白头偕老。

Edited August 22, 2011 by snowball

[BoyInBoxers]

I think a guy with a AWESOME personality, and average looks would be great for me. One small note, He cannot be some STICKY person who doesnt know what space is. Spam calling someone 10 over times just so u can get him to answer the phone to talk to u is an example. Huge huge turn off.

[waterballoon]

别一味的活在童话世界，理想和现实有很大的出入，多说无用，只有堕入爱河的情侣，才知家家都有难念的经，才知道不是一个人自以为是的 “ 处子 ” 宣言就可以白头偕老。

我知道我对人生的看法可能很幼稚，我也不敢自认对人生或者爱情有什么了不起的想法不过你不必说到我相似个自以为是的小白痴。还有，我也知道爱情并不简单，每一个恋爱都有它的问题和困难所以你不须要刻意地挖苦我。我知道我没谈过恋爱，没被人爱过。说难听的，我在这里等于没资格说话，而你拥有着所谓的幸福快乐可是那并不代表你有权利这样挖苦我，把我看成是乳臭未干的小子。

[fitcubsg]

you mean you get to choose your boyfriend? This is really funny, is this what people nowadays think? i think its fate that chooses how your future relationship with someone pans out. We never pick our soul mates, soul mates are found when two people connect on a deeper level, not just shallow ideals associated with looks. C'mon guys, I am sure you can see beneath the pomp of hard muscles, six packs, nice dimples, crystal clear skin.

[derryfawne]

Everything counts.

Looks matter too, but it's not the only thing that matters. It doesn't mean a boyfriend must look really cute or what (although that's definitely a bonus point if he's super cute), but slight personal grooming to make himself look presentable would be good. Knowing that your boyfriend had attempted something before meeting you kinda sends signs that he really does want the date to be perfect for you, and there's something nice about that.

[Guest IanOh]

Just go with it

:-)

[Cobalt]

A good character & personality is important. Looks wise is a bonus, but of cuz with regards to looks at least be plesant to the eye.

[Aspire]

Come'on we love beautiful things (Be it str8 or Aj, males are typical :clap: ) But thats very wrong, we all have the misconception of choosing a Boyfriend through his look, bod and fashion sense. To me, i feel that THAT kind of "Boyfriend" aint the one who will last with you. Unfortunately we still do it , and YES most of us always do :whistle:

Be it cute, handsome, charming or whatever shit. Its only a thing that attracts you No one really care about that when choosing a boyfriend. Will you say "Omg he is so handsome, i think i shld have him" :oops: or "Mr.B more handsome than Mr.A leh". It might affect a little to ur choice (cant escape de)

MOST important still fall within the person himself, how well he treats you, what kind of person he is and more importantly how faithful is him ( and how well u know u love him lah)

Both plays a part lah... Looks = how fast you guys get tgt. Character & personality = how long can you guys last

[briax]

Okie folks, honestly there is nothing to argue about. Read this article and see if you fit the reasoning here.

************************************************************

Do we date our parents?

Ever heard someone say "I married my mother?" or "My boyfriend treats me just like my father did?" What about, "My spouse is such a neat freak, just like my mum was" or "I can't believe he said that - my dad used to say the same thing!"

I've often wondered whether the popular theory that says we marry our parents is true. And it's something that scientists and psychologists have wondered for centuries: what makes us drawn to one person and not another?

Picking up one of most comprehensive tomes on the subject, titled Getting The Love You Wantby Dr Harville Hendrix, (note: do not have it lying around your room when a new date comes over or a very awkward conversation could ensue), it seems there are four key theories.

There's the biological view: that we pick a mate according to our perception of their ability to provide for us and reproduce (hence the attraction to burly brunettes).

There's the "exchange" theory that says we look for someone who is more or less equal in stature to us (physically, financially and emotionally).

There's the "persona" theory, which asserts that we look for someone who enhances our self esteem.

And if we latch onto the theory of psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, then we have no control over whom we fall in love with because it's our subconscious mind that guides us ...

Relationships expert Alice Haemmerle, director of Sydney-based A Perfect Mind, says that this subconscious mind is what draws us to marry someone like our folks.

Why? "Because that's the way our belief systems are," she explains. "If you're a woman, your first man was your father. If you're a man, your first woman was your mother. And so we spend our lives looking for someone else to provide the qualities our parents did - the good and bad. I have yet to find anyone not doing that."

According to the experts, between the ages of zero and seven is our "imprint period" - the time when our beliefs and our values are most ingrained into our psyches.

By the time we reach our eighth birthday, our subconscious mind has painted a clear picture of exactly the type of person we're going to end up marrying; the one who is most akin to our folks. (Who would have thought?)

Psychologist David Perrett from the University of St Andrews in Scotland, backs up this theory.

In researching why we find certain people to be attractive partners, he took images of his students' faces and morphed them into faces of the opposite sex using a computer program he devised. He then gave them a choice of faces, and asked them which they preferred. Most picked their own face, without knowing it was theirs.

So what does this mean? He concluded that we're attracted to someone who reminds us of ourselves, and since most of us have similar features to our parents, we are attracted to faces that look as close to those we constantly looked at when we were kids: our folks.

And once we find that person?

Sparks fly! Pheromones race! Sweat starts to pour! Especially in terms of the sweat factor.

In fact, and bear with me for a moment here, women are actually drawn to a man whose sweat smells just like her father's! That's right blokes; it might pay to leave that aftershave behind because this is according to actual scientific research put together by researchers at the University of Chicago and published in the medical journal Nature Genetics. Ladies and gents, the nose knows.

Of course by nose or by pose, many of us aren't too happy with the prospect that we're going to end up with someone just like one of our parents.

What if one was an alcoholic? A drug addict? Depressed? Too sporty? Too geeky? Not affectionate enough? Had a bad temper? Didn't like the way we dressed? Wouldn't we do everything in our power to desperately find someone quite the opposite?

Apparently, no matter how bad things were for us as a kid, we can't help ourselves.

"We think that we go for someone who is none of those things that we disliked in our parents, but we still do end up falling for someone who has a similar personality trait in some other way," Haemmerle says. "They might not be an alcoholic, but they may have another type of addiction. It's not a direct parallel, but they might be a control freak."

I'd be interested to know if any of you think you've dated or married someone just like one of your folks.

Do you notice qualities in them that you liked or disliked in one of your parents? Are we really attracted to someone just like the ones who brought us up? And, if so, do we finally have a concrete reason to blame our folks for those toxic, failed relationships?

source

[lct]

It's a combination of everything, actually. Looks arent everythiung. Ive met some really good looking guys who are very pleasing to the eyes only to find out that they have the personality of a kumquat.

Kumquats actually taste quite nice ....

[PaterTenebrarum]

But they wont win any personality contests. By that same token, smelly tofu tastes nice to many people too...Lots of personality but smells like shit.

[Guest curious]

In my younger days, I would think it does. However, after hanging out with good looking guys, my relationships with them last shortly. Either they dun want to commit or we just dun have topics / chemisty to connect.

As I become older, looks become secondary. More importantly is personality & character. No point having good looking bf if he's dull, immature or uncaring. Looks does matter to some extent, would like to have a pleasant looking bf. For me nowadays, factors to choosing a partner/ bf is 35% personality, 40% character & 25% looks. How about you guys ? What are your deciding factors & weightage ?

[EasleyLim]

Initial judgment will be based on the looks but thankfully (or unfortunately?) good looks charm wears off pretty fast for me. Especially when they open their mouth, I can go from MMHH! to UGH! in 5 seconds, haha.

[Guest Guest]

i thought personality is a person's character?? No???

Looks as it says is for you to look at just like a showcase. If you are looking for some ONS hot sex, you may consider the good looks, they may or may not turn out HOT LoL

If i'm looking for a relationship then "good looks" is not even part of my consideration. Once i enjoyed his company, once i began to adore him, once i started to miss him, then whatever look he may be; he is the most gorgeous in my eyes.

Usually these are matured thinking, down-to-earth, with a stable-income job, optimistic, well manner, easy going

Looks 0% Great personality 100%

[Undies69]

inner beauty overshines all...

[alien]

Whether look is impt or not, i still think pple first impression still based on look. If the other guy's look is pleasant or ur type, then u will go further to explore his inner beauty or find out whether u enjoy his company or not. I dun believe u dun looks at look at all.

[Guest 2012]

You must like the person yeah? Then I would think one of the criteria is looks. But other attributes like common vision and ability to communicate are also important for a relationship to work.

[hiaoshu]

looks and personality interact.

once you like someone you look at them in a different way.

and a person's look (including grooming and dress) tells you something about his personality.

in the end it's how a person satisfies your emotional rather than logical needs. (in this context it is quite possible that having a "stable-income job" is an emotional need.)

does that make sense? emotionally rather than logically attractive?

[orca888]

I think looks still counts - at least for the split second when he catches my eye...hahah

But from then now, it's more about personality and the whole package or I even dare say the "soul" that will entrail me...

Of course I won't deny that having someone that is very pleasant on the eyes is definitely a big plus

Edited February 17, 2012 by orca888

[gstc82]

At least looks presentable gets u the 1st glance. If that guy wear dirty clothes, unwashed dirty hair, smells. Will u bed him?

[tgones]

I think the problem is that it takes look to understand someone's personality and character better

[Guest Guest]

I think CHEMISTRY is the most important factor.

It surpasses looks, personality, physique, education, personal backgrounds, etc.

[orca888]

I think the problem is that it takes look to understand someone's personality and character better

That's the sad fact of life...

If someone doesn't catch your eye, would you want to get to know them better?

Humans are naturally drawn to the more presentable people...

[Azorius]

.....

Edited January 14, 2018 by Azorius

[Exynos]

I think the problem is that it takes look to understand someone's personality and character better

yep.

anyone who says looks doesn't matter is lying, especially in a competitive society like the gay one.

[orca888]

yep. anyone who says looks doesn't matter is lying, especially in a competitive society like the gay one.

Totally...hahah

I mean who would even give the time of the day to a fat slob like me?

[lct]

You call 6 pec fat? Then I will stand in the league of traffic blocks.