Be Happy :)

[worldangel]

Joke: Neighbour

 

A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbour with her problem.

 

 

The neighbour says, "All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden naked for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they will blush bright red."

 

The woman goes out at midnight and dances around her garden naked for a few minutes. The next morning, the neighbour comes over to the woman's house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red.

 

 

The woman says "No, they're still green, but I noticed the cucumbers grew four inches!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Old couple

 

An old couple is ready to go to sleep.

 

The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor.

 

The old man asks, ''Why are you going to sleep on the floor?''

 

The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Sarah

 

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

 

Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?"

 

Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful."

 

Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl*wjob."

[worldangel]

Joke: Little boy

 

A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?"

 

 

The mom said, "We were baking a cake." A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake?"

 

 

She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch."

[worldangel]

Joke: .... getting hard

 

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream.

 

One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it.

 

The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked.

 

The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend.

 

Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

[worldangel]

Joke: My money

 

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."

 

 

The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You cannot do this, I'm a congressman!"

 

The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Losing interest in sex

 

 

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental.

 

 

He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!"

 

 

The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

 

"Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Premature ejaculation

 

 

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor.

The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

 

 

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

 

 

The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

[worldangel]

Joke: At cashier counter

 

 

A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her agitated state of mind and angry demeanor, it was obvious she was in a hurry and not happy about the slownessof the line.

When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"

"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have, you'll be home in no time."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: 2 elderly ladies

 

 

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me, I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Description

 

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Attitude

 

After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants.

 

I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large.

 

 

I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem."

 

 

Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian.

 

 “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”

 

[worldangel]

Joke: I am your hubby
 

 

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!"

 

 

The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!"

 

 

She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?"

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: After work

 

 

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts" She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

 

 

When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts." "That's it!"

 

 

She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave.

 

Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it started!”

[worldangel]

Joke: My wife picture

 

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot, then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another one.

 

 

After he finishes, he looks into his pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and asks the man why he looks into his pocket before ordering each shot.

 

 

The man replies, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket, and when she starts to look good, I go home.”

[worldangel]

Joke: A shot of whiskey

 

 

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit.

 

 

She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box.

 

 

She says, "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. 

 

She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "What do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Wedding rehearsal

 

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.

 

 

When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honour, and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passes the minister a $100 bill and walks away satisfied.

 

 

On the day of the wedding, when it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

 

 

The groom gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and hisses, "I thought we had a deal."

 

The pastor puts a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispers, "She made me a better offer."

[worldangel]

Joke: Three women

 

There are three women. One is dating, one is engaged, and one is married. They decide to get kinky with their men and really pull out all the stops to make it extra special.

 

 The woman who is dating says, “Okay, so I bought black leather, red lipstick, fishnet stockings, and really got crazy. He loved it so much he thinks he’s in love.”

 

 

The woman who is engaged says, “I showed up to his work after hours wearing only a red coat. Let’s just say he wants to move the wedding date up!”

 

 

The woman who is married says, “Okay, I really went all out. I got a babysitter for the kids, and bought a black mask and a whip. My husband gets home, goes straight to the fridge, and grabs a beer. Then he plops down on the couch and says, 'Hey Batman! Where the f*ck is dinner?!?'"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Wedding anniversary

 

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

 

 

The husband turns to his wife and asks, "What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?"

 

 

She replies, "Let's run upstairs and make love."

 

 

He turns to her and says, "Well make up your mind, we can't do both!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Forgotten her name

 

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

 

Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That's really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names."

 

Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!"

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Honeymoon

 

An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon.

 

 

They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, "I should tell you I have acute angina."

 

The old man says, "I hope so. You sure don't have cute tits."

[worldangel]

Joke: At supermarket

 

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

 

 

The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.

 

"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Divorce?

 

My friend asked me, "Why are you getting a divorce?" I responded, "My wife wasn't home the entire night and in the morning she said she spent the night at her sister's house."

 

He said, "So?" And I responded, "She's lying. I spent the night at her sister's house!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Getting married

 

A young man looking to get married asked his friend.

 

"Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like."

 

"Oh, that's easy," his pal replied, "All you have to do is find someone who is just like your mother."

 

"I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like."

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Freedom

 

A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy whose been drinking a lot."

 

 

The husband responds, "Who is he?" The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage."

 

 

"Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Hostage

 

During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?"

 

The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result.

 

After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."

[worldangel]

Joke: Roger

 

 

Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.

 

 

The doorman at the club spots them and says "Hey Roger! How are you tonight?" His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. "No, no. He's just one of the guys I bowl with."

 

 

They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says "Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?" His wife's eyes widen. "You must come here a lot!" "No, no" says Roger "I just know her from volleyball."

 

 

Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says "Roger! A table dance as usual?" His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar.

 

 

Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger seat. His wife looks at him, seething with fury and flips out on Roger. Just then, the cabby leans over and says "Sure looks like you picked up a bitch tonight, Roger!"

 

[clementi]

 Joke: Only when he is drunk

 

A man was driving his wife home after a night out, when they were stopped by the police. “Sir, did you know you were speeding?” asked the officer.

 

 “No, I had no idea that I was speeding,” replied the husband. “Of course you were,” interrupted the wife, “you’re always speeding.” The officer looked at the rear of the vehicle and said, “And did you know your brake light is broken sir?” “No, I had no idea that it was broken,” replied the husband. Again the wife interrupted, “Of course you knew it was broken.

 

You’re always saying you’ll get it repaired, but you never have.” The officer began to sympathize for the husband and said, “Does she always talk to you like this?” The wife said, “Only when he’s drunk.”

[clementi]

Joke: Team mate

 

 

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, "At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex."

 

The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, "Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting," his wife thought this a little peculiar but said nothing more and went to sleep.

 

 

The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, "I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?" His mate said smiling, 'Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!." The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, "Strange, he has only done it twice and the second time he was sick."

[clementi]

Joke: Do you remember?

 

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall.

 

 

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

 

 

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched, thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the backseat of my car?"

 

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years!" "I remember that too," she replies softly.

 

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today!"

[worldangel]

Joke: After I die?

 

A husband asks his wife, "Will you marry after I die?"

 

The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister."

 

The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?"

 

The husband responds, "No, I will also live with your sister."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Honeymoon

 

 

A young couple is on their honeymoon.

 

The husband is sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"

 

 

Meanwhile, the wife is sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out.

 

 

Now how do I tell him gently?" The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've got a confession to make." She says, "So have I, love."

 

To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."

[worldangel]

Joke: Sex life

 

 

A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life.

 

The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom.

 

She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?"

 

The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: A country couple

 

A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn.

 

 

She put his manhood in a vice, secured it tightly, and removed the handle. Next, she picked up an old carpenter's saw.

 

 

The banged up cheater was terrified and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

 

 

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Nope. You are! I'm gonna burn down the barn!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Good eye sight

 

A little old lady comes into the kitchen to talk to her husband and says, "Honey just look at me. My legs are heavy, thighs are getting big, and boobs are sagging. I could really use a complement right about now."

 

 

The husband replied, "You have really good eye sight!"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Retirement village

 

Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants.

 

 

The first woman asks how and the second woman says every so often when he's in the bathroom getting ready for bed she gets naked and lays on the bed holding her legs up in the air so when he comes out he can't help but have sex with her.

 

 

The first woman decides to try this a couple of weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one leg up and then the other as she's holding them shakily.

 

 

Her husband comes out and exclaims, "Good Lord woman, put in your teeth and brush your hair....you're starting to look like an asshole!"

[worldangel]

Joke: Earring

 

A man is at work one day, when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

 

 

The man knows his co-worker to be a conservative guy, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”

 

 

The co-worker responds sheepishly, “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring.” The man falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So how long have you been wearing one?”

 

 

The co-worker responds, “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”

[worldangel]

Joke: Cheating

 

A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, "I have a parrot that will let you know daily what goes on in your house.

 

 

The bird has no legs, so he holds onto his perch with his penis." Reluctantly, the husband brought the bird home. At the end of the first day, the man asked the bird, "Did anything happen today?"

 

 

The parrot said, "Yes, the milk man came over." The man asked, "What did he do with my wife?" The bird said, "I don’t know; I got hard and fell."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Poison

 

Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper.

 

"Pete darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go... I... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city.

 

And I am the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government."

 

"Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart. Who do you think gave you the poison?" answered Peter.

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Yes dear

 

John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes.

 

John said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.” “Wow!" said Bob, “how did you manage that?”

 

“It’s easy,” replied John, “my last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’”

[worldangel]

Joke: Honeymoon

 

 

On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple has an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom's left foot.

 

 

Unable to control her grief, the bride calls her mother from the hospital. "Mother," she sobs, "my husband has only one foot."

 

 

The mother, trying to console her daughter, says, "That's alright dear, your father has only six inches."

[worldangel]

Joke: Dora

 

Drinking gets you in many unpredictable positions.

 

Has your wife or girlfriend ever caught you passed out, sitting on the couch, with your pants around your ankles while you have a kung fu grip on your penis, like you're giving her the thumbs up on marrying such a subtle and discreet man?

 

Well, that wasn't the embarrassing thing about it. The porn on demand had ended, and the previous channel that had popped up was blaring, "Do-Da Dora, Do-Da Dora!"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Getting married

 

This young fellow is about to be married, and is asking his grandfather about sex. He asks how often you should have it.

 

 

His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe you'll do it several times a day.

 

 

Later on, sex tapers off, and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, like maybe on your anniversary."

 

 

The young fellow then asks his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?"

 

The young fellow asks. "Well, she goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'Screw you,' and I holler back, 'Screw you too!'"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Homeless men

 

Two homeless men are devising a plan to get free drinks at a bar.

 

The first one has an idea: "We'll buy a hot dog and stick it down your pants, walk into the bar, get our drinks, drink, and when the bartender asks for his money, you pull down your pants and I suck on the hot dog that you put down there. He'll kick us out, and we won’t have to pay. It's brilliant!"

 

 

The second man agrees and they do this in the first bar where it works just as planned. Then they hit up 4 more bars and the first man says, "This is great, getting all these free drinks!"

 

 

The other man replies, "Yeah, especially because the hot dog fell out at the first bar."

[worldangel]

Joke: Wedding anniversary

 

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.

 

As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

 

 

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

 

 

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

[worldangel]

Joke: The farmer

 

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

 

 "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

 

 

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: John & Rebecca

 

 

John was talking to his fiance, Rebecca. He said, "Be honest now, baby, how am I as a lover?"

 

 

To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he asked excitedly.

 

"Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm.'"

John was pleased until he went home and just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."

 

[worldangel]

Joke: 2 buddies

 

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.

 

"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

 

"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

Joke: At psychiatrist’s office

 

A woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

 

[worldangel]

Joke: A hooker

 

A guy hires a hooker and brings her to his hotel.

 

 

The hooker is in bed ready for action, and the guy starts undressing. The hooker begins to laugh when he drops his boxers and asks, "Who do you think your're going to please with THAT thing?"

 

 

The guy responds, "Me baby, me!"

 

 

[worldangel]

Joke: Cock-eyed

 

 

Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect.

 

 

After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up."

 

 

The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."