Journey of seeking for that partner

[Guest MIND]

Are you the type who changes your expectation as you grew older?  It was like the chinese saying:  If there is no fish to eat, shrimp is the immediate option.

 

In your teenage:  Your hormone was in rage, you started to explore every sensitive and sexual parts of your body.  You can easily fall prey with your impulse for sexual experiments.  You did not choose your man as long as he has a dick which you can touch and explore or if he sucked well. You wanted that first moment of man-to-man contact experience.

 

In your 20s - you dreamt big, dreamt prince white riding a white horse, dreamt of fairy tale stories, looking for perfect hero as life long partner. You wanted a partner of equal to your straight friend's husband but you knew you have time to search and find.  You are also in the play-mode hoping to hit target eventually.

 

In your 30s - you cut a little, but still very arrogant and putting yourself high on pedestal for a catch. You want a person to be a career minded and stable person, a die-hard lover, you expect him to meet most of your criterias, if not all.  You want him to look good, wear smart and presentable to your taste.  You wanted a "family" that fit you.

 

In your 40s - you moaned for not getting all the above man yet.  You took stock of your expectation, but still very unsure what you really want from the person.  You knew you are getting old, but you also want that person to be less of a burden for you.  Your imagination ran wild but cautious. Your hope still remain cockily high, you still hold on to your 30s expectation, but gave way a little in the hope that you still get somesome "sensible" to your liking.  You tend to be sociable, always ready to hop into any seminars or gathering that BW provided.  You probably have found someone, but still unsure, you still hold on to your early years expecations.  I know some of these group of people still showed the white of their eyes at those whom they didn't like.

 

In your 50s - you are desperate to sell.  You probably gave a drastic discount on your expectation.  Your maturity took over your unrealistic expectation.  Anyone close to your resemblance lifestyle (not your expectation) could easily become your choiced partner.  But you are shy for various reasons. Life has reached a stage that you became rather inward looking.  You looked at yourself, your success (or unsuccess) in life.  You tend to be philosophical,  tendency to lecture the youngsters.  You felt you are smarter now, more realistic and enjoyed giving advices. Sometime bitchy too - hormornes changes?  You may become less sociable, among young group of people.  Your confidence in continue to look for partner, took a turn.

 

In your 60s - you probably gave up but never lack of playfulness.  You came to this forum as regular to muse and pass time.  Finding partner may no longer on your card. You are more concerned of taking care of yourself, health and finances.  You see love life from different perspective.  Sex, is accidental but you may also become quite cruisy if your hormone took over - standing at the urinal in public toilet probably shed some light about boredom and you hack care about the risk of being caught.  You also pondered, if those china money boy might be an option now, if you are wealthy.  You are either ususually friendlier to anyone you met, but talking more than you should, or became a grouchy complain queen that even an ant crossing your path would become news of your problems.

 

In your 70s:  - hopefully you are still around and probably many will.  Far and few, will cruise.  Mobility became a challenge.  You are likely home bound by now.  Internet porn may still provide you the minimum sexual muse for jo for your last few drips.  Young LGBT are likely to avoid you at all cost - when come to sex.  You spend time at the coffee shops, drinking coffee and idle away, but your eyes still glued at every gorgeous fellows that walked pass and you may given grin at young boys that attracted you....

 

In your 80s - on rocking chair and staring blankly,  minds wandering what is next to come.....

[fly360]

This is so sad!

[lonelyglobe]

wat to do....that's life, we are all so choosy, we choose face, we choose body, height, age, occupation, character, personality, even 八字不和 can also be an excuse

[Guest Passing Clouds]

Yes. Time to think about all those years that were, is and will be coming.

[Guest Choosy]

9 hours ago, lonelyglobe said:

wat to do....that's life, we are all so choosy, we choose face, we choose body, height, age, occupation, character, personality, even 八字不和 can also be an excuse

 

We should read this ...

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/11197040

[Guest Lukas]

Once I was seven years old, my mama told me, "Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely." Once I was seven years old It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure Once I was eleven years old, my daddy told me, "Go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely." Once I was eleven years old I always had that dream, like my daddy before me So I started writing songs, I started writing stories Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me 'Cause only those I really love will ever really know me Once I was twenty years old, my story got told Before the morning sun, when life was lonely Once I was twenty years old (Lukas Graham!) I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure 'Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major I got my boys with me, at least those in favor And if we don't meet before I leave, I hope I'll see you later Once I was twenty years old, my story got told I was writing about everything I saw before me Once I was twenty years old Soon we'll be thirty years old, our songs have been sold We've traveled around the world and we're still roaming Soon we'll be thirty years old I'm still learning about life My woman brought children for me So I can sing them all my songs And I can tell them stories Most of my boys are with me Some are still out seeking glory And some I had to leave behind My brother, I'm still sorry Soon I'll be sixty years old, my daddy got sixty-one Remember life, and then your life becomes a better one I made a man so happy when I wrote a letter once I hope my children come and visit once or twice a month Soon I'll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me? Soon I'll be sixty years old Soon I'll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me? Soon I'll be sixty years old Once I was seven years old, my mama told me, "Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely." Once I was seven years old Once I was seven years old

[lonelyglobe]

The problem is when we r in our 20s, we know we are in demand and became very fuzzy, we cannot stand extra 10 grams fat around the tummy.....then we move into 30s and going all out for our career, we don't have so much time for others and we may not realise the need to have someone.....as we move into 40s, thinking of settling down but a bit too late, karma set in and people start to choose you instead, moving into 50s, is almost impossible to find unless u r still super hot but how many can? If someone interested in you in your 60s and 70s, then u got to be extremely careful  

[gymfan32]

Hmm.. I could picture myself now in the shoes as I grow older...

[lonely57]

now i feel sad thinking of my future 

[Salt&Pepper]

[EugeneSin]

Have been searching but no result sad

[KENZ]

Wei... Why all of you all suddenly so sad, even monkey also sad

At whatever stage we are, make the most of it... If manage to find a bf / husband, good. learn to treasure it and love each other, if cannot, also don't feel sad, you don't need someone to complete you. Attached people also got their own sets of problems de... Cheer up ba guys. 

[EugeneSin]

Hehe .. As a foreigner, sometimes just feel lonely living alone. Most friends got married with kids and they don't have free time to meet up for coffee and chat. Some friends have decided to tabao back to home country ... 

[Jin jin]

20 minutes ago, EugeneSin said:

Hehe .. As a foreigner, sometimes just feel lonely living alone. Most friends got married with kids and they don't have free time to meet up for coffee and chat. Some friends have decided to tabao back to home country ...

Edited July 30, 2016 by Jin jin
don't be sad. can jio me sometimes for lunch or dinners.

[EugeneSin]

5 minutes ago, Jin jin said:

 

Haha thanks 

[Salt&Pepper]

I feel sad because I understand the sadness. It's not something that is easy to overcome. This sadness still hits me periodically like a craving for a cigarette even though I have already quit for some time now. It comes and it goes but less and less often.

 

LIke what TS wrote about "in your 70's", I witnessed a VERY old and frail man trying to experience intimacy with a young chap in the TV room at a gay sauna in Osaka. The young chap got up from the 1-seater sofa and try to run away and yet the old man attempted to chase after the young chap! At that moment, I remember feeling absolutely horrified and mentally told myself I will not let myself become that old man. Not to disrespect that old man, but that's not who I wanna be if I live to be 70 or 80.

 

I very well understand that the odds are stacked high against us. However, an older friend of mine found his partner at 50 and I feel so happy for him. It gives me hope even though I have made peace with the possibility that it may not happen for me. Life have so far been good to me so I shall continue to count my blessings and strive for it to be meaningful and happy in other ways.

 

 

 

 

[Jin jin]

1 minute ago, EugeneSin said:

Haha thanks 

[mate69]

A lot of that innate 'sadness' comes from trying to chase after something ...like an elusive dream. Just that in this case, we have no idea often what exactly are we chasing after.

 

Are we chasing after the notion of love or looking to love and be loved? Relationships are elusive, yes, but do not let that reality sink you in. Instead, channel those feelings into something you enjoy doing and let your inner glow attract others to you. If so, then good. It's a bonus. If not, at least you know you have lived a day productively instead of feeling sorry for yourself. ☺

[Rice60640]

12 hours ago, Guest Choosy said:

 

We should read this ...

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/11197040

Thanks for sharing. It's a good read and causes one to think.  I think we are our own worse enemies. Being picky and criticizing of yourself or other people. So and so is not good enough for me. Or I am not good enough for so and so. However, it is difficult to put ones criteria aside because maybe it stems from past failed relationships. It also takes a lot of maturity to look past someone else's appearance to see the kindness and the gentleness.  I still think that perhaps not trying is the worst obstacle. Give it a try, even if you think the person is not up to your standard or you up to there's. At least you tried then let it pass you by and you later regret. Live life without regrets. 

Edited July 30, 2016 by Rice60640

[Guest Lonely souls]

Some of us are just fated to be alone.

[lonelyglobe]

17 hours ago, EugeneSin said:

Hehe .. As a foreigner, sometimes just feel lonely living alone. Most friends got married with kids and they don't have free time to meet up for coffee and chat. Some friends have decided to tabao back to home country ... 

Even as a local, once our straight friend got married with kids, the weekly meet up that used to have became a yearly affair

 

16 hours ago, Salt&Pepper said:

I feel sad because I understand the sadness. It's not something that is easy to overcome. This sadness still hits me periodically like a craving for a cigarette even though I have already quit for some time now. It comes and it goes but less and less often.

 

LIke what TS wrote about "in your 70's", I witnessed a VERY old and frail man trying to experience intimacy with a young chap in the TV room at a gay sauna in Osaka. The young chap got up from the 1-seater sofa and try to run away and yet the old man attempted to chase after the young chap! At that moment, I remember feeling absolutely horrified and mentally told myself I will not let myself become that old man. Not to disrespect that old man, but that's not who I wanna be if I live to be 70 or 80.

 

I very well understand that the odds are stacked high against us. However, an older friend of mine found his partner at 50 and I feel so happy for him. It gives me hope even though I have made peace with the possibility that it may not happen for me. Life have so far been good to me so I shall continue to count my blessings and strive for it to be meaningful and happy in other ways.

 

 

 

 

Honestly one must have some 自知之明, at that age definitely cannot have a catch at sauna, might as well save that money to engage the service of a money boy once in a while

[EugeneSin]

5 minutes ago, lonelyglobe said:

Even as a local, once our straight friend got married with kids, the weekly meet up that used to have became a yearly affair

 

Honestly one must have some 自知之明, at that age definitely cannot have a catch at sauna, might as well save that money to engage the service of a money boy once in a while

Heheh .. Haiz

[Guest Curious]

Can I ask, what do gay ppl do when they are older? I mean like naturally hetro ppl get married have kids grow old. 

Now u see Sg its all the young Instagram Fb type of gay boys just trying to show each other they have meaningful lives. When they grow old how? What happens? 

Like most gay couples don't last. I've seen a 10 year relationship break off too. Then I see a lot of old queen groups , just get together talk cock maybe bitch about. 

 

So they just try to keep active have meaningful lives n die? 

 

No flaming just, thoughts. 

[lonelyglobe]

they are everywhere.....some still cruising in sauna, some in swimming pool, some go onsen, some la kopi, talk cock, sing song and play ping pong

[KENZ]

8 hours ago, EugeneSin said:

Hehe .. As a foreigner, sometimes just feel lonely living alone. Most friends got married with kids and they don't have free time to meet up for coffee and chat. Some friends have decided to tabao back to home country ... 

Hey welcome to sg  

This world is getting more populated, but ironically we are all getting more lonely someway or another. 

More so for you, especially living away from your family ... Hugz hope you can meet more meaningful friends here to accompany you through this journey. 

[EugeneSin]

1 hour ago, KENZ said:

Hey welcome to sg  

This world is getting more populated, but ironically we are all getting more lonely someway or another. 

More so for you, especially living away from your family ... Hugz hope you can meet more meaningful friends here to accompany you through this journey. 

Thamks ... I hope so too

[lonelyglobe]

17 hours ago, KENZ said:

Hey welcome to sg  

This world is getting more populated, but ironically we are all getting more lonely someway or another. 

More so for you, especially living away from your family ... Hugz hope you can meet more meaningful friends here to accompany you through this journey. 

yap, we text, we whatsapp, we line, we fb but we didn't manage to find time for a physical meet up and getting to know the other person better, 3C product have bring the world closer together but definitely distance the people that are around you......to meet more friends, first step is to spend less time on BW or whatever social media, join a interest group and get out there to meet people..... well pokemon doesn't really count I suppose

[EugeneSin]

17 minutes ago, lonelyglobe said:

yap, we text, we whatsapp, we line, we fb but we didn't manage to find time for a physical meet up and getting to know the other person better, 3C product have bring the world closer together but definitely distance the people that are around you......to meet more friends, first step is to spend less time on BW or whatever social media, join a interest group and get out there to meet people..... well pokemon doesn't really count I suppose

Ahat interest group are available ??? Intro ??

[lonelyglobe]

depend on what interest u have? u can check meetup.com, there is a whole list of event happening, from playing a sport, dine and wine, traveling to local outings, u r spoilt for choices

[Salt&Pepper]

>>Can I ask, what do gay ppl do when they are older?

 

Continue to live their lives lor. Gay people do not suddenly dun have things to do when they get older u know.

 

>>I mean like naturally hetro ppl get married have kids grow old. 

 

Not all hetro people get married and have children wat...singles and childless on the rise leh.

 

>>Now u see Sg its all the young Instagram Fb type of gay boys just trying to show each other they have meaningful lives. When they grow old how? What happens? 

 

Dunno. You have to ask them in the future when u r older. C...got things to do right?

 

>>Like most gay couples don't last. I've seen a 10 year relationship break off too.

 

Hetro relationships may not last also wat. Recent garhmen survey divorce rate on the rise also. Can't remember exactly the years together before divorce around 6 to 8 years i think. The 10 year one u saw.....a good one liao.

 

>>Then I see a lot of old queen groups , just get together talk cock maybe bitch about. 

 

This is a natural auntie phenomenon wat. Nearly all straight aunties also do tat.....I believe uncles also....too.

 

>>So they just try to keep active have meaningful lives n die? 

 

Then wat huh? Who dun wan to be active and have meaningful lives? Who dun die wan huh?

 

>>No flaming just, thoughts. 

 

Not flaming also...just my tots on reviewing ur thoughts.

[Guest same Guest]

1 hour ago, Salt&Pepper said:

>>Can I ask, what do gay ppl do when they are older?

 

Continue to live their lives lor. Gay people do not suddenly dun have things to do when they get older u know.

Lol yes of course 

1 hour ago, Salt&Pepper said:

 

>>I mean like naturally hetro ppl get married have kids grow old. 

 

Not all hetro people get married and have children wat...singles and childless on the rise leh.

 

1 hour ago, Salt&Pepper said:

 

>>Now u see Sg its all the young Instagram Fb type of gay boys just trying to show each other they have meaningful lives. When they grow old how? What happens? 

 

Dunno. You have to ask them in the future when u r older. C...got things to do right?

 

>>Like most gay couples don't last. I've seen a 10 year relationship break off too.

 

Hetro relationships may not last also wat. Recent garhmen survey divorce rate on the rise also. Can't remember exactly the years together before divorce around 6 to 8 years i think. The 10 year one u saw.....a good one liao.

 

>>Then I see a lot of old queen groups , just get together talk cock maybe bitch about. 

 

This is a natural auntie phenomenon wat. Nearly all straight aunties also do tat.....I believe uncles also....too.

 

>>So they just try to keep active have meaningful lives n die? 

 

Then wat huh? Who dun wan to be active and have meaningful lives? Who dun die wan huh?

 

>>No flaming just, thoughts. 

 

Not flaming also...just my tots on reviewing ur thoughts.

 

I get your views as well. I had all these thoughts when I was posting. Straight people break up and get divorced too. 

I guess it all comes down to what keeps each individual happy. 

Stupid of me to think that being married and having a kid appears to be a more meaningful life than just being single / gay / kid-less

 

yes yes I am dumb. 

[Guest same Guest]

... in a way i guess im being very very judgmental by comparing how meaningful lives are between two completely different sets of people. 

 

[Salt&Pepper]

17 minutes ago, Guest same Guest said:

Stupid of me to think that being married and having a kid appears to be a more meaningful life than just being single / gay / kid-less

 

yes yes I am dumb. 

 

No. U r not dumb.

 

If being married and having kids is what u believe wat makes ur life meaningful and that's wat u want, it is more than ok. Just dun expect the same values on other people either straight or gay.

 

However, it is now still impossible for 2 gay persons to get married legally to each other and have kids together in Singapore. If that's wat u want, you will have to either emigrate to a country that gives you that right or stay here and fight like hell for that right. Maybe you can be our Harvey Milk and I believe many here will be willing to fight beside u.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

OH MY GOODNESS! I KNOW I AM OLD, BUT THE PROFILE SAYS I AM 70 YEARS OLD WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE!

 

[lekoopi]

Sometimes i wonder, when i am old, sitting at the dinning table and cough. Is there someone who will pat my back. Or someone who will remind us to take our medications.

I saw how some old couples like ah gong ah ma, buy breakfast or stir the kopi for the other half. I hope to have someone who will do that for me when i am old.

 

[Guest Loner]

28 minutes ago, lekoopi said:

Sometimes i wonder, when i am old, sitting at the dinning table and cough. Is there someone who will pat my back. Or someone who will remind us to take our medications.

I saw how some old couples like ah gong ah ma, buy breakfast or stir the kopi for the other half. I hope to have someone who will do that for me when i am old.

 

 

Hope is hope. But the reality is many of us will be alone in old age.

[Gray32]

Preach.

[Dracula]

this thread is a good read for most people at any state of age.

 

for those who are at early stage of life, this is mostly true, time really flies fast, so better plan up ahead.

 

i think that's the beauty of human's life: a sad but romantic journey.

 

just know that you are not alone, everyone also faces the same things

[Magicerife]

Legit depiction of what's to come. A timely reality check and a wake up slap across the face as people claim / preach. But then plenty of us will still continue to go back to dream thereafter. Such is the modus operandi in here. And so the vicious cycle continues on. 

[Guest GoGo]

3 hours ago, lekoopi said:

Sometimes i wonder, when i am old, sitting at the dinning table and cough. Is there someone who will pat my back. Or someone who will remind us to take our medications.

I saw how some old couples like ah gong ah ma, buy breakfast or stir the kopi for the other half. I hope to have someone who will do that for me when i am old.

 

There are more frightening scene.  I saw lone folks in hospital, no one was there to help them feed, lift the forks and spoon.  They backache, no helper to lift them up on bed or push the wheelchair.  The relative came, talk briefly, shoved a red packet into his pocket while the patient laid there helpless. Unable to sign any forms, the hospital will place a hospital bill on the patient's bed as reminder, even before the patient is discharged.  The patient will laid there staring at every visitors not his.  Hoping to get some form of assistant to his woe. He will sometime murmur for help, but no one listen. This is the scene I witnessed.

[Guest Lost]

5 minutes ago, Guest GoGo said:

There are more frightening scene.  I saw lone folks in hospital, no one was there to help them feed, lift the forks and spoon.  They backache, no helper to lift them up on bed or push the wheelchair.  The relative came, talk briefly, shoved a red packet into his pocket while the patient laid there helpless. Unable to sign any forms, the hospital will place a hospital bill on the patient's bed as reminder, even before the patient is discharged.  The patient will laid there staring at every visitors not his.  Hoping to get some form of assistant to his woe. He will sometime murmur for help, but no one listen. This is the scene I witnessed.

 

Is this our future?

[darkflame]

On 30/07/2016 at 0:59 AM, Guest MIND said:

In your 50s - you are desperate to sell.  You probably gave a drastic discount on your expectation.  Your maturity took over your unrealistic expectation.  Anyone close to your resemblance lifestyle (not your expectation) could easily become your choiced partner.  But you are shy for various reasons. Life has reached a stage that you became rather inward looking.  You looked at yourself, your success (or unsuccess) in life.  You tend to be philosophical,  tendency to lecture the youngsters.  You felt you are smarter now, more realistic and enjoyed giving advices. Sometime bitchy too - hormornes changes?  You may become less sociable, among young group of people.  Your confidence in continue to look for partner, took a turn.

 

In your 60s - you probably gave up but never lack of playfulness.  You came to this forum as regular to muse and pass time.  Finding partner may no longer on your card. You are more concerned of taking care of yourself, health and finances.  You see love life from different perspective.  Sex, is accidental but you may also become quite cruisy if your hormone took over - standing at the urinal in public toilet probably shed some light about boredom and you hack care about the risk of being caught.  You also pondered, if those china money boy might be an option now, if you are wealthy.  You are either ususually friendlier to anyone you met, but talking more than you should, or became a grouchy complain queen that even an ant crossing your path would become news of your problems.

 

In your 70s:  - hopefully you are still around and probably many will.  Far and few, will cruise.  Mobility became a challenge.  You are likely home bound by now.  Internet porn may still provide you the minimum sexual muse for jo for your last few drips.  Young LGBT are likely to avoid you at all cost - when come to sex.  You spend time at the coffee shops, drinking coffee and idle away, but your eyes still glued at every gorgeous fellows that walked pass and you may given grin at young boys that attracted you....

 

Somehow I feel like I'm going through these experiences now. (parts in bold)

I find it increasingly hard to talk to people at the same age range as myself, and I'm literally enjoying conversations with guys who are 50 and beyond.

[Guest GoGo]

7 minutes ago, Guest Lost said:

 

Is this our future?

I don't know, but I saw a couple incidents where patient tried to run away from hospital (with nurses and doctor chasing after them).

[Guest Guest]

4 minutes ago, darkflame said:

 

Somehow I feel like I'm going through these experiences now. (parts in bold)

I find it increasingly hard to talk to people at the same age range as myself, and I'm literally enjoying conversations with guys who are 50 and beyond.

 

 Thank goodness someone younger than me feels the same as I do...

[Guest ???]

5 minutes ago, Guest GoGo said:

I don't know, but I saw a couple incidents where patient tried to run away from hospital (with nurses and doctor chasing after them).

 

Run away because can't pay?

[Guest GoGo]

17 minutes ago, Guest ??? said:

 

Run away because can't pay?

Don't know. Didn't bother to find out but it was a scene, at the waiting room.  One guy, specks of blood all over his working shirts,  didn't want to be put on bed.  Another patient, pull out the tube from his arm, pack up and waited at the lift lobby while the nurses surrounded him.  Another screaming and yelling at the A&E dept that he wanted to go home while the nurses pressed him to the bed.  3 scenes in a week.

[lonelyglobe]

21 hours ago, Dracula said:

this thread is a good read for most people at any state of age.

 

for those who are at early stage of life, this is mostly true, time really flies fast, so better plan up ahead.

 

i think that's the beauty of human's life: a sad but romantic journey.

 

just know that you are not alone, everyone also faces the same things

Precisely, those in 20s, try to be less fussy, difficult i know....those in 30s, work is not your entire life, do spare sometime to find that someone special.....those in 40s, continue to keep fit and go out to meet "real" people, have a "real" conversation, who knows what happen 

[Guest Fatty]

11 hours ago, Guest Lost said:

 

Is this our future?

Yes for me.

[wilfgene]

The view on the way to the destination may well be more memorable than that at the destination itself.

It's the pursuit that makes the man.

 

23 years ago, a Salzberg traveler said she had purposely learned Romanian, but instead of the people, she understand more about herself. 

That may well be all that we get to take with us.

 

How to spell Mozart's hometown?

[Guest Guest]

17 hours ago, darkflame said:

 

Somehow I feel like I'm going through these experiences now. (parts in bold)

I find it increasingly hard to talk to people at the same age range as myself, and I'm literally enjoying conversations with guys who are 50 and beyond.

Maybe because you have an old soul