3 way relationships

[Guest 3 way]

Anyone in, or have ever been in a 3 way relationship?

How did it come about? How long did it last?  What are the chances of it working out? Is 1 out of the 3 the main focus? Or all 3 receive equal love and attention.

[fab]

3 is a crowd.

[Guest Btmm]

Not possible. There's always play favorites then the other party is left out.

 

There's this famous internet gay couple who announced their new 3 way relationship. But from the photos, everybody commented that it's very obvious the body language that the top and the new guy were close and the older bottom was looking unhappy. Yet in their interview they claimed to be one big happy family.

[lesbrown]

I know 1 top and 2 bottoms in that kind of relationship. The newer bottom eventually gained more favor and the older bottom got "deposed".

[doncoin]

I had a friend who was in a polyamorous relationship with 2 other guys. It was hard to comprehend, but they seemed to have it worked out so, more power to them. 

[puBERTyERNIE]

just checking, if it is a norm for a ‘老夫老妻’ couple to seek additional buddy for non-emotional attached fun eventually?

[kys0n]

don't think so...if the couple wants a 3some they can do it right from the start of the relationship. no necessity to wait for years. if a couple's commitment to monogamy is strong, then there'll never be 3somes. it's like wondering whether your parents partake in 3somes simply because they have been married for decades. something is wrong if that's the case.

[snowball]

如果人到晚年时，想要尝试从未想过两人以外的激情澎湃，

只要双方达成共识，何须要他人批准? 但必须要注意，

" 三人行 " 有它的危险性存在，多数人是喜新厌旧的动物，

新鲜感是否会战胜旧爱，禁果是否胜过理智，

你们又会担心对方越过禁区后，会导致背后出轨的后遗症? 

 

 

[Guest Bleh]

Threesomes or foursomes, they are just too complicated. Good for you if you can handle it.

[fab]

No.

 

Only common for unfaithful couples.

[Kimochi]

If both open-minded and agree, i dun see y not? maybe they can even try orgy.

[Guest oGY]

Just now, Kimochi said:

If both open-minded and agree, i dun see y not? maybe they can even try orgy.

 

Why be a couple then? 

[puBERTyERNIE]

a few months shy from a decade of being together monogamously. we are toying with the idea of seeking a buddy for occasional fun, a friend with benefits but no love involved.  

[fab]

3 minutes ago, Guest oGY said:

 

Why be a couple then? 

 

Exactly.

 

https://www.google.com.sg/search?q=couple+&client=ms-android-om-lge&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

 

 

[Guest ....]

24 minutes ago, puBERTyERNIE said:

a few months shy from a decade of being together monogamously. we are toying with the idea of seeking a buddy for occasional fun, a friend with benefits but no love involved.  

 

 

 

Why play with fire? 

Can you guarantee no one will accidentally fall in love?

This could be the beginning of the end of your relationship.

[Kimochi]

32 minutes ago, Guest oGY said:

 

Why be a couple then? 

There will be times when stuff gets bored, and both wanna try something new. So why not, if both are comfortable with the ideas? Why restrict yourselves?? Think out of the box.

[yoyo74]

I dont see why u cant get a 3rd party or a 4th party to join up if u all agree to it and open minded to it. Either friends with benefit or additional lover, all must be share equally without any form of jealousy. Be honest to yourself and to others whether u can do it or not. Not everyone can do it so u better understand yourself first.

I had once fallen in love with a straight friend, my once possessive love had transform into an open love with open mind. I had understand that the greatest form of love is to make the person i love happy. So if both of u are really happy to love or to have fun with a 3rd or 4th person go ahead. Rules are man made and dont need to follow the conventional man woman marriage rules.

[yoyo74]

1 hour ago, kys0n said:

don't think so...if the couple wants a 3some they can do it right from the start of the relationship. no necessity to wait for years. if a couple's commitment to monogamy is strong, then there'll never be 3somes. it's like wondering whether your parents partake in 3somes simply because they have been married for decades. something is wrong if that's the case.

Maybe both of them already had the idea of 3some or more to start with but afraid the other party might disagree with it so they go for monogamous relation only. After they been together for a very long period of time, they finally able to open up their mind and talk to each other honestly, they found they have the same happy love goals and so the story contines...

[puBERTyERNIE]

13 minutes ago, yoyo74 said:

Maybe both of them already had the idea of 3some or more to start with but afraid the other party might disagree with it so they go for monogamous relation only. After they been together for a very long period of time, they finally able to open up their mind and talk to each other honestly, they found they have the same happy love goals and so the story contines...

indeed, i don't see it as lesser love for my partner. it is more like a next level as a couple. to do and explore as a loving pair. you wrote my sentiments, yoyo74. appreciate your analysis.

[amplify]

The question is why are you seeking the opinion of the norm? This is a matter between the both of you.

 

Why not bring it out onto the table and discuss it openly? :-)

[Guest Guest]

If it takes the couple to the next level, then it's fine for them, but what is in it for the third party? Won't he feel used?

[puBERTyERNIE]

19 minutes ago, amplify said:

The question is why are you seeking the opinion of the norm? This is a matter between the both of you.

 

Why not bring it out onto the table and discuss it openly? :-)

we have discussed and are open about it.

[puBERTyERNIE]

2 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

If it takes the couple to the next level, then it's fine for them, but what is in it for the third party? Won't he feel used?

unless the 3rd person is single, maybe he will feel used. or should i say a willing couple to be fair?

[puBERTyERNIE]

1 hour ago, Guest .... said:

 

Why play with fire? 

Can you guarantee no one will accidentally fall in love?

This could be the beginning of the end of your relationship.

we also have thought about treading on the ice should we eventually opened the pandora box.

[Guest Open a can of 'Fire']

We always simplify human's behaviors including ourselves. i will put it straight forward without flowery decor.

 

1. after a decade in bed, u and your partner feel bore and wanna a 3rd/4th person to spice up your sex-life. if is correct, meaning both of u can't  fulfill each other sexually and that's why the idea of 3 sprung out.

 

2. Humans are humans.  We have needs, we are curious, we like beautiful stuff and some even say we like new things and abandon old ones. if u agreed to the above, think again. if the invited 3rd/4th guests can sex better than u, more handsome than u, moan better than u and can satisfy your bf better than u. How would u feel? Vice versa, apllicable to your current BF. u might feel wnwanted to begin with and your bf might want a regular meetup with that guest and want to know him more. same applicable to u. 

 

3. if Sex-life is the actual problem, i suggest u and your partner go learn some skills, buy some toys and watch porn movies when in bed.

 

There is an old chinese saying: You play with fire, becareful, u might be burnt by the fire!!!

 

All the best and good luck.

[Guest guest]

me and bf together for 14 years. we did tried out 3some years back when we went to bkk sauna. tried it twice and realised it wasn't our thing.  so we remain in monogamous since then.

 

if you can handle it I see no harm.  but 3rd party always bring unforeseen challenges.  I rather stay out of it.

 

good luck to you.

[iamziz]

Very very very often ''Why not?'' / ''No emotions attached'' / ''Just fuck and go'' have made many couples singles too soon. They thought they could handle it but so many situations proven wrong. All fun in the short term but making the hearts bleed in the long term. This is the risk many couples take so lightly. While the 3rd person either be blamed or often plays a ''dangerous'' part to contribute to the break-up. I am writing based on my experiences as a partner and as the 3rd to a few couples.

Edited November 26, 2016 by iamziz

[puBERTyERNIE]

i would not say sex is not boring between us. more like 3some is something we have never tried and we are open to explore. in fact, it is only clean fun we seek. the fear of contracting undesirable virus is still something we possess.  

[snowball]

most important, be happy and be comfortable both are doing together, 

sharing are only between both and not doing behind party, 

i don't see the reason why cannot

[Guest 72%dark]

4 hours ago, Guest oGY said:

 

Why be a couple then? 

Do you really think that just because two people have made a commitment to each other that they're compatible in every way, and that each person is uniquely capable of satisfying all of their partner's needs and desires?? Does this kind of "match made in heaven" exist on earth??

Two people can be a couple because they genuinely care for each other's well being, find comfort in each other's company, laugh at the same jokes, have the same interests, share a home and a pet pooch, etc... But if they no longer have a sex life together, what should they do? There are worse options I can think of than finding some mutually agreed upon outlet for their desires while maintaining trust in each other.

 

@puBERTyERNIE, the morality brigade has predictably warned you of fire and brimstone. To me, it seems that if you have a threesome and 'play together', at least both of you know exactly what is going on. It precludes the kind of doubt and suspicion that might arise if you have other kinds of agreements typical to open relationships. If the entry of a third party really starts to cause division between you and your partner, then perhaps it's an opportunity to address the underlying fault lines in your relationship, and to assess the place and importance of sex in your relationship. Or perhaps to rekindle the spark that originally brought you together.

 

As for whether the third party will feel used or not, I would doubt it. If a couple approached me for fun in such a situation I would certainly go in knowing what my role is and having the appropriate expectations for it; I wouldn't feel used.

[Miko333]

sometimes loving our special one is simply connected to the happiness of our partner without any consideration of our own feeling..

 

even sometimes that we have to sacrifice and will be in pain... just to see that our special one is happy, is enough.

 

i'm single and is willing to be used by a couple ;-)

[Chocolateabs]

Maybe the 3 seems interesting,  then the more the merrier? So orgy

[yoyo74]

6 hours ago, Miko333 said:

sometimes loving our special one is simply connected to the happiness of our partner without any consideration of our own feeling..

 

even sometimes that we have to sacrifice and will be in pain... just to see that our special one is happy, is enough.

 

i'm single and is willing to be used by a couple ;-)

The highest level of love is not only to let our partner be happy and doing it willingly. You will also feel happy for your partner happiness. If you still have the feeling of sacrifice and pain for oneself than the level of love had not reach the highest yet. Do not be dismay even if you have not reach the highest level yet cause only a rare few can do it.

[Guest Guest]

I'm just shocked to read most views about oh well it's okay blah blah blah..nothing new anyway just the same as open relationship .

But if its for me no way..it's going to hell for sure and jeopardizing the relationship as a couple like what Iamziz put it.

If I wanted a three some or fuck around , I wouldn't be committed to a serious relationship at all in the first place .

[Balestier]

Ya heard of it. Probably when they are attached for years. Gays need fresh idea n things.

[Guest citrine]

I'm in an 11 year relationship and we talk about it sometimes, but I have a huge fear of diseases. Even while single, I didn't sleep around because of that. Now attached, I have an even bigger fear of catching anything because I want my us to live healthily to a ripe old age. Relationship wise, we are strong, and still very much in love, so I think we could survive the feelings of jealousy and insecurity that may arise, but we choose not to risk it for a moment of fun.  

 

However, I know of a few couples who have found it right for them. One pair has had an open relationship for many years. There's another which evolved from an extra-marital affair into a 3-some. At the end of the day, both of you know yourselves best, so you know the risks.

[Guest Jack]

Two's company three's a crowd.

 

[yoyo74]

6 hours ago, Guest citrine said:

I'm in an 11 year relationship and we talk about it sometimes, but I have a huge fear of diseases. Even while single, I didn't sleep around because of that. Now attached, I have an even bigger fear of catching anything because I want my us to live healthily to a ripe old age. Relationship wise, we are strong, and still very much in love, so I think we could survive the feelings of jealousy and insecurity that may arise, but we choose not to risk it for a moment of fun.  

 

However, I know of a few couples who have found it right for them. One pair has had an open relationship for many years. There's another which evolved from an extra-marital affair into a 3-some. At the end of the day, both of you know yourselves best, so you know the risks.

You wont need to fear diseases if u refrain from doing anal sex or oral sex or even kissing. Just have a very clean fun will do. As for jealousy, you and your partner can try to train together to remove this weakness.

[Guest Justin]

Better ti remain faithful to reduce the risk of gettibgs stds

[Guest Noy]

On 02/11/2016 at 4:02 PM, fab said:

3 is a crowd.

 

Correct

[Guest Vomit]

3 minutes ago, Guest Noy said:

 

Correct

It's disgusting if they are disgusting.

[fab]

love one, lust many.

[Guest Patronizer]

If all three neither have the looks or body like the ones in my neighborhood, they will forever want to rope in and bang other guys. All three are middle aged and look like 白斩鸡, forever in singlets, berms and slippers. Try hard wannabes. One of them is wearing glasses. And he is the one opening leering at guys on the streets. It's really disgusting imho.

[dynox]

The concept is undoubtedly different and against the norm, which is likely the reason why it doesn't sit well with most guys. While some you guys have brought up the notion of one party getting left out and eventually deposed, my take on the matter is that it wasn't even a relationship to begin with. Majority of the people that get into this is because they are greedy - they just want everything. That said, it can work if you're in it for the right reasons. No one will get left out because you love them both and everyone involved has to feel the same. It's definitely more complicated but I don't see a problem as to why it wouldn't work - except for the human factor of course, that in itself is unpredictable at best

Edited March 28, 2017 by dynox

[Guest How?]

Three is best for maximal physical contact. More than three is more likely to be problematic.  

Certainly many here have been in threesomes that were not only lustful but also friendly. If only they could be more open minded and continue to get to know each other longer.

 

Is there a thread in Personals or somewhere else, for those looking to start up or join such? 

[Guest Bonfire]

I wonder how to start a conversation to your partner on inviting a third person to a relationship for, say, the sole purpose of sex. What would be a good timing to say it? And what can you do to prepare for the worst, i.e. your partner reacts negatively to the discussion?

[Guest How?]

Appears to be at least two schools of thought here. One is "let's find a 3rd just for a horny fvck."  That's not very different from going to a sauna together and maybe even less fun!

 

The other, which is probably more difficult and what some of us wonder about, how to have a long term triple committed relationship?  Just recently I had a realization -- someday one partner will die. If there is another there to lessen or share the pain, wouldn't that be a blessing?

 

[Guest No logic]

15 minutes ago, Guest How? said:

Appears to be at least two schools of thought here. One is "let's find a 3rd just for a horny fvck."  That's not very different from going to a sauna together and maybe even less fun!

 

The other, which is probably more difficult and what some of us wonder about, how to have a long term triple committed relationship?  Just recently I had a realization -- someday one partner will die. If there is another there to lessen or share the pain, wouldn't that be a blessing?

 

What about the last surviving guy after second partner dies? He will still be bearing the pain alone in the end right?