Guest Confused Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 Hi. So recently, I have met my Friend-with-Benefit (fwb) guy last weekend. We've actually met together for the past 4 times for the past year. We knew that we're only strictly just friends (with benefits), but I can't accept the fact that he's my type of guy. His physique, his attitude, his down-to-earth character, his professionalism, his humour; almost everything caught my eye of him. I kept telling to myself to not fall in love with him (he knew I used to like him on the first meet), but somehow everytime we met, I fell for him deep every single time. I have my own bestfriends, AJs, and others, but none of them treat me as nice as him. Each time we met, he treat me like his own. Not like a friend, not like a bestfriend, but like his boyfriend. He tried his best to make me happy by digging up jokes that specifically make me laugh; fed me in public although I told him not to; and just texted me while on the way to meet him. Sex aside, we cuddled so much till I almost forgot he's only my fwb. It's been 4 days since I've met him and I still couldn't forget about him, since he's busy all the time and wouldn't want to reply my texts after we met. He has an almost 24h schedule which consists of his work and his practice for his upcoming competition. Could anyone suggest me any ways to forget about him? I kinda regretted having an fwb in the first place, most importantly because I fell for him and the friendzone feels are there. P.S: On the last few hours after the sleepover 4 days ago, after lunch, I noticed he was wearing a ring on his fourth finger on his left hand. I'm worried that he might be already married and I'm still lingering around with a married man, which is my fwb. Honestly, I don't like to disrupt people's relationship if I had known that earlier. I've never seen him wear that ring for the past outings. It was a silver ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 Just call him up and let him know you want to break off the arrangement. If he ask why then tell him you want to be more than friends and it's making you really uncomfortable. But tbh, if you could separate your emotions from logical thinking in the first place, you wouldn't be in the mess. So... not sure how useful my advice would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 Let go. 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killerwhale Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 seems to me he just wants a physical relationship and not an emotionally-connected one plus, if the ring on his ring finger is true, then he already has someone else and he is being unfaithful WightTonguehlk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemnes Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 You're on the path to making one huge around around your current relationship with him, and destroying it. I was in your place bout years back. It's rly foolish to fall for an fwb, shows how little control you have over ur own feelings. You need to stop before you wind up getting hurt. There's always ways for you to risk it, but I'd advice against it as boundaries like such established around friends with benefits are there for a reason. I used to think to myself why can't I fall in love with a fwb.. but soon come to realise on my own that it's all my one sided thinking and I should embrace this fwb boundary, not try to cross it. After all you may never know someone fully. You guys are friends with benefits because he doesn't want you cutting into his personal life just yet. Enjoy your sex with him. I've seen my friends within the circle go down that road despite me telling them not to. All ended up hurt, both parties. I'm thankful that I didn't let emotions and feelings get the better of me. im hoping that you can overcome this. All the overthinking, the unnecessary feelings and extra time spent into thinking of him will only be harmful. You could either risk let this one go by telling him you wanna be more than friends, but I'm pretty sure you won't because of how much you cherished his sex as you described. Choose wisely. ; ) LoQueSea 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Confused Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 2 hours ago, EasleyLim said: Just call him up and let him know you want to break off the arrangement. If he ask why then tell him you want to be more than friends and it's making you really uncomfortable. But tbh, if you could separate your emotions from logical thinking in the first place, you wouldn't be in the mess. So... not sure how useful my advice would be. I would if i had the courage, but the way he treats people isn't what you normally get from other people (from what i experience). I think i couldnt really separate my emotions from logical thinking mainly because of his misinterpreted behaviour, and also because I have never been lovestruck or been loved before. But i'd try to erase this off and start anew. Thanks for your comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Confused Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 1 hour ago, killerwhale said: seems to me he just wants a physical relationship and not an emotionally-connected one plus, if the ring on his ring finger is true, then he already has someone else and he is being unfaithful Im not sure about that. But the ring finger issue, i havent asked yet. If he is being unfaithful to his other relationship, I would call it off and not be interested in him already. Waste my time de. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Confused Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 51 minutes ago, Uomo said: You're on the path to making one huge around around your current relationship with him, and destroying it. I was in your place bout years back. It's rly foolish to fall for an fwb, shows how little control you have over ur own feelings. You need to stop before you wind up getting hurt. There's always ways for you to risk it, but I'd advice against it as boundaries like such established around friends with benefits are there for a reason. I used to think to myself why can't I fall in love with a fwb.. but soon come to realise on my own that it's all my one sided thinking and I should embrace this fwb boundary, not try to cross it. After all you may never know someone fully. You guys are friends with benefits because he doesn't want you cutting into his personal life just yet. Enjoy your sex with him. I've seen my friends within the circle go down that road despite me telling them not to. All ended up hurt, both parties. I'm thankful that I didn't let emotions and feelings get the better of me. im hoping that you can overcome this. All the overthinking, the unnecessary feelings and extra time spent into thinking of him will only be harmful. You could either risk let this one go by telling him you wanna be more than friends, but I'm pretty sure you won't because of how much you cherished his sex as you described. Choose wisely. ; ) I think you gave the best response here. You made me realise how much I was a fool for having so much thoughts for a friend, else i'd get hurt emotionally. Thanks for saving me before my emotions go into a shipwreck. You're right about cutting into his personal life. Although he'd mostly tell about his personal life (eg, what he did during work, and free time), he didn't really tell me about his relationship and all that; though he told me he had been in a relationship with a girl before. For now, i'd think ill try to overcome this by distracting myself away thinking he might have been already married (so that i'll lose interest in him). Thanks for your comment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemnes Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 (edited) 3 hours ago, Guest Confused said: I think you gave the best response here. You made me realise how much I was a fool for having so much thoughts for a friend, else i'd get hurt emotionally. Thanks for saving me before my emotions go into a shipwreck. You're right about cutting into his personal life. Although he'd mostly tell about his personal life (eg, what he did during work, and free time), he didn't really tell me about his relationship and all that; though he told me he had been in a relationship with a girl before. For now, i'd think ill try to overcome this by distracting myself away thinking he might have been already married (so that i'll lose interest in him). Thanks for your comment! Wanted to pm you but you're a guest haha. No probs. And yes the fwb I had did not tell me he had a boyfriend until I found out later on, which is the reason why we only meet up for a meal or some catching up. I didn't confront him about it though, cos I shouldn't know or talk to him too much about such forbidden topics. im glad you have my comment a good thought! I hope you could sort things out because it's gonna be very difficult as you have already developed feelings which stay rooted. One way to help yourself is to find another source where you could invest your energy. Such as a new hobby, someone else to be attached to emotionally etc, or maybe just a good Friend will do all the best once again you could also add me on Line should you need someone to talk to about this and remain anonymous. My line ID is bettase. Mod pls don't warn me I'm not advertising intentionally Edited March 15, 2017 by Uomo Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Passerby Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 If a guy can cheat on his wife or bf for you, he can do the same thing to you. Been there, experienced that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Confused Posted March 16, 2017 Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 11 hours ago, Uomo said: Wanted to pm you but you're a guest haha. No probs. And yes the fwb I had did not tell me he had a boyfriend until I found out later on, which is the reason why we only meet up for a meal or some catching up. I didn't confront him about it though, cos I shouldn't know or talk to him too much about such forbidden topics. im glad you have my comment a good thought! I hope you could sort things out because it's gonna be very difficult as you have already developed feelings which stay rooted. One way to help yourself is to find another source where you could invest your energy. Such as a new hobby, someone else to be attached to emotionally etc, or maybe just a good Friend will do all the best once again you could also add me on Line should you need someone to talk to about this and remain anonymous. My line ID is bettase. Mod pls don't warn me I'm not advertising intentionally Hey thanks for the concern and giving me your line ID. But were you the one with the Spanish username? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Confused Posted March 16, 2017 Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 9 hours ago, Guest Passerby said: If a guy can cheat on his wife or bf for you, he can do the same thing to you. Been there, experienced that. I have no idea why these kind of people exists in this world. I know, life is not perfect, but this one is just plain nonsense. What's the point of having an intimate relationship with a person when he knows he's cheating on that very same person with another one? Like what they gain, smh.. only misery, emotional pain and confusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemnes Posted March 16, 2017 Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 1 hour ago, Guest Confused said: Hey thanks for the concern and giving me your line ID. But were you the one with the Spanish username? Yas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hmm Posted March 16, 2017 Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 Hmm you could be a nice side toy to him? Someone to enjoy sayang n fuck. But he doesn't want you to be his official bf. If its hurting u so much, leave him. If not just enjoy everything but not with an official bf title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2017 Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 Sorry for my ignorance. What is FWB ? Can someone elaborate more. IS it money boy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fwbfb Posted March 16, 2017 Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 1 hour ago, Guest guest said: Sorry for my ignorance. What is FWB ? Can someone elaborate more. IS it money boy? Friend with Benefit aka Fuck Buddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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