Gay In 30s Wondering How Other 30s Gays Are Living!

[Creevie]

Hi everyone! First off, I'm born 1984 chn. 

 

I wonder how the the lives are of those who're in their 30s. Some I see are still trying to live it wild and young like they're in their 20s, some are still instagramming so much that it's quite pathetic in their attention seeking. (EDIT: I'm being blasted for calling instagrammers pathetic but no, I apologise for that sweeping statement; I don't mean to be disrespectful. I just saw some instagays posting so frequently with captions that are obviously fishing for praises and likes in such a lame fashion that one day I had enough... I look at Insta-guys time to time la that's why) Or do you all have established careers, adequate savings and healthy investments? Saving towards your own bachelor pad, or already owning yours, or still living with your parents (nothing wrong too)? Or maybe still job hopping, or just changed industry with a more positive outlook?  

You all got good and deep friendships or romantic relationships? Or still sleeping around with the philosophy of playing around all your life etc? Do you all exercise enough, like more for overall fitness and functionality and not just looks and steamroom sex like in your twenties? Watching your health and fitness too? 

Are you all at peace with yourself and accepting any flaws that you are born with? I think I'm less judgmental than before lol. I used to be so mentally corrupted and haughty... 

Just wondering la, since I have some lulltime at work now. A ramble but I hope it's thoughtful enough to gather some responses too haha. 

 

Are u all happy with yourselves  

For example,

- peace of mind / self-esteem

- finances (income/savings/investments etc)

- work

- love 

- friends and family

- health and fitness 

- media habits 

- lifestyle thoughts, fulfilment level, outlook

- etc

 

Thanks guys! 

Edited April 29, 2017 by Creevie
Purify a bit...

[dynox]

Sorry for intruding. I'm not 30 but I just wanted to say something about what you said.

 

i have met a quite a number of 3x (even 4x) who does act very care free, a lil wild and very youthful. It's refreshing actually. Some do behave like kids, but that's not localized to the 30/40/50s, even 20s behave like kids sometimes. The instagramming thing, why pathetic? No one said instagram had to be for kids - there isn't age limit. I follow guys in their 40s sharing about their life journeys. Beautiful sceneries, adorable selfies, and at times body progress. It's not about attention; they like to share and that's perfectly fine. But some people take it a little far (I agree with you on this), trying too hard to be relevant and cute - yeah that's not exactly a turn on. Sexiness is when they are confident in who they are and just act like themselves instead of trying to be someone else. Sometimes their own set can be unappealing to me so I try not to judge their actions, just be happy that they feel confident is sharing these pictures.

 

The rest im not commenting on because this post isn't really meant for me, hope you get the answers you seek:) 

[ZKT279]

I'm in my 34...

Careers :

Health :

Financial :

Saving : 

Relationship :

 

[suckmegood]

48 minutes ago, Creevie said:

I think I'm less judgmental than before lol.

 

really? that doesn't quite translate to the whole chunk of stuff that u were rambling about. in my 30s and still happily instagramming, not because i'm desperate for attention, but as a habit of sharing stuff that comes up along the way in my life - good food, holiday stuff or just random things.

 

so when u say that u r less judgemental now, i wonder how was it like in ur 20s... 

[reflector85]

To start off,  I'm in my early 30's this year.  I don't really agree on the part of instagramming that ts mentioned. What's wrong with that?  Sometimes u just wanna share your happiness with ppl ard u. After all,  pictures speaks of a thousand words isn't it?  

 

I glad and thankful to said that I have a stable job,  every month will save a decent sum for future house (looking forward to 35 so that can own a place of my own) but not doing any form of investment.  

 

I would also say that mindset will change as a person grows up & it's not always about sex especially in this circle.  U tend to think further for yourself,  family and friends.  I don't play as much as I do when I'm in my 20's,  meaning to say,  cutting down on drinking,  parties and think about your actions before things happened.  

 

I enjoyed deep friendship where I can be yourself without being judge however fail to achieve this in relationship.  No luck in that.  I always find ways that I can improve myself, reading books on self-improvement can helps a long way too.  

 

So basically that's my 2 cents of tot

Edited April 26, 2017 by reflector85

[suckmegood]

19 minutes ago, reflector85 said:

 

I would also say that mindset will change as a person grows up & it's not always about sex especially in this circle.  U tend to think further for yourself,  family and friends.  I don't play as much as I do when I'm in my 20's,  meaning to say,  cutting down on drinking,  parties and think about your actions before things happened.  

 

ah. i can so relate to this. 

Edited April 26, 2017 by suckmegood

[Guest Guest]

Hahaha my aunties and uncles still actively instagramming in their 60s 

 

whats wrong with doing that in 30s?

 

Is TS implying that as you age you can't Instagram?

 

is Instagram only for those below 30 years old?

 

 

 

[Guest Mtrx86]

I'm just entering my 30s. Yeah healthwise, I have started taking care of my health; in order to be better prepared for the future. Career wise, already in progression towards wellness; which is the recession proof industry. Still single and not really bothered about relationships at the moment. Honestly, I don't think much have changed except I started taking care of my body now.

[Hanzothetan]

After reading this post, i thought i have to change soon since i am reaching 30 next year. But i have a slow start. I started to slowly come out of closet at 27 years old. Still trying to get over myself with that. But all aside. i guess it is really time to think about my own future. I envy younger people who can party all nights but still able to wake up the next morning without hangover. 

 

I always thought that in this circle, people behave more mature because all of us when through social stigma/discrimination. we kind of go through something that 'straights' don't go through. But because we have been through so much, behaving like an adult doesn't really matter anymore. How people judge us isn't important anymore as well. we just wanna be ourselves, therefore i guess age doesn't really matter. 30s or 40s, we are still 'us'. Just have to be careful on our own health that's all. beside that nothing really change. =D

 

~come in peace~

Edited April 26, 2017 by Hanzothetan

[Creevie]

Ok la paiseh lah people coz I don't indtagram and when I do look at it, the few random ones I go to see mostly pose ripped bods of themselves and then caption things like "too fat, I need to exercise and diet more!" etc. These may be the extremes I know, so sorry ahh if I offended anyone. 

 

[Creevie]

2 hours ago, dynox said:

Sorry for intruding. I'm not 30 but I just wanted to say something about what you said.

 

i have met a quite a number of 3x (even 4x) who does act very care free, a lil wild and very youthful. It's refreshing actually. Some do behave like kids, but that's not localized to the 30/40/50s, even 20s behave like kids sometimes. The instagramming thing, why pathetic? No one said instagram had to be for kids - there isn't age limit. I follow guys in their 40s sharing about their life journeys. Beautiful sceneries, adorable selfies, and at times body progress. It's not about attention; they like to share and that's perfectly fine. But some people take it a little far (I agree with you on this), trying too hard to be relevant and cute - yeah that's not exactly a turn on. Sexiness is when they are confident in who they are and just act like themselves instead of trying to be someone else. Sometimes their own set can be unappealing to me so I try not to judge their actions, just be happy that they feel confident is sharing these pictures.

 

The rest im not commenting on because this post isn't really meant for me, hope you get the answers you seek:) 

No intrusion at all la. All viewpoints are valuable in some way. 

 

12 minutes ago, Hanzothetan said:

After reading this post, i thought i have to change soon since i am reaching 30 next year. But i have a slow start. I started to slowly come out of closet at 27 years old. Still trying to get over myself with that. But all aside. i guess it is really time to think about my own future. I envy younger people who can party all nights but still able to wake up the next morning without hangover. 

 

I always thought that in this circle, people behave more mature because all of us when through social stigma/discrimination. we kind of go through something that 'straights' don't go through. But because we have been through so much, behaving like an adult doesn't really matter anymore. How people judge us isn't important anymore as well. we just wanna be ourselves, therefore i guess age doesn't really matter. 30s or 40s, we are still 'us'. Just have to be careful on our own health that's all. beside that nothing really change. =D

 

~come in peace~

For ur second paragraph, I used to think that way, but I don't really believe that now hehe...

[camus]

people can instagram at any age.

 

but guys, once you hit 40, pls promise me you'll throw away your new urban male singlets

Edited April 26, 2017 by camus
typo

[ThePineapple]

Just hit 30...

Careers : 

Health : 

Financial : 

Saving : 

Relationship : 

good and deep friendship : 

Edited April 26, 2017 by ThePineapple

[Creevie]

15 minutes ago, ThePineapple said:

Just hit 30...

Careers : 

Health : 

Financial : 

Saving : 

Relationship : 

good and deep friendship : 

Friendship and finances look good haha! 

Nice

[ctglobal]

Mid-30s:

Career--- plateau, trying to change and improve that.  systemic issues more to blame tho than anything else, though i see many others on autopilot (think there will be a cold wake-up call for them in 40s!)

Health--- could be better, could be worse.  definitely need to keep close eye on a lot to prevent the little things from becoming big things and always act preventatively.

Financial situation --- not bad to be honest, and keeping close tabs on $$$ helps, also not spending money on frivolous items means more money to do what really matters in the way of experiences, investments etc.

Relationship--- as good as could hope after MANY ups, downs, false starts, slut phases, head cases, wrong turns and so on.  trying to remember i am human, others are human, and to communicate more/clearly/often.  think that and a bit of patience/perspective makes the difference here.

Friendships---- yeaaaah this one was a bit of a shocker. not sure if others have faced this but i noticed something: late 20s-early 30s social life is really, really great.  then all of a sudden ~35, seems like everyone you know (straight gay or otherwise) has some shift in life (career, relocation, married/partnered, babies, dog, some dumb other shit happenstance....) and you are left with fewer people who have far less time. not quite an implosion of the social life, but some days feels pretty close to it.

 

would say in terms of career, health, and friendships, some continual work needs to be done.  

 

ps creevie thanks for starting the post!

 

pps re insta, i dun think there is anything wrong with using it per se, but what i find rather annoying is the lifestyle posing, vanity, attention-seeking, and superficiality that often goes along with it.  that and people who document every.damn.thing.they.eat.do.touch.see.etc. -- its visual spam, really intrusive at times (read: while eating at a restaurant and someone you dont even know is documenting you and everything around the place), overdone and not particularly interesting.  i generally tend to steer clear unless it is really that stimulating. most of it isn't, which is sad considering the time and effort people spend on it.  this would probably be true of other techno-bsessions and bygone fads de jour (remember when livejournal and myspace were things? yeah.  give insta 3 more years then see how... probably all have an oculus screwed on our faces by then)

Edited April 26, 2017 by ctglobal

[benedict5856]

I already pass my 30s. sigh....

Monday- work, gym

Tuesday - work, gym

Wed-friday - work, gym

Sat- gym

sun- gym

Other than that, go sauna look see, kill time. 

Go facial.

Watch movie. Mahjong, go out bf dating.

 

In short, a bloody waste of my life.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

26 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

I already pass my 30s. sigh....

Monday- work, gym

Tuesday - work, gym

Wed-friday - work, gym

Sat- gym

sun- gym

Other than that, go sauna look see, kill time. 

Go facial.

Watch movie. Mahjong, go out bf dating.

 

In short, a bloody waste of my life.

 

 

 

Gym everyday still so fat? You are right. Bloody waste of your life. 

[Creevie]

1 hour ago, ctglobal said:

Career--- plateau, trying to change and improve that.  systemic issues more to blame tho than anything else, though i see many others on autopilot (think there will

Friendships---- yeaaaah this one was a bit of a shocker. not sure if others have faced this but i noticed something: late 20s-early 30s social life is really, really great.  then all of a sudden ~35, seems like everyone you know (straight gay or otherwise) has some shift in life (career, relocation, married/partnered, babies, dog, some dumb other shit happenstance....) and you are left with fewer people who have far less time. not quite an implosion of the social life, but some days feels pretty close to it.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to respond! About your reflections on career and friendship, wow... could be because we wouldn't have the burdens of bringing children up, so we have the luxury to find ourselves more alone... 

I've always felt that friends are very important to our mental and emotional health, and I do wonder if it's because I'm single too. 

[doncoin]

With regards to career, the only comment I have is if you can, this is the best time to go back to school. You have worked sufficient number of years already for experience. It is not a bad option to take a year or 2 off, or do part time graduate degree. 

[Guest Grateful]

Am 36.

 

property: just got my HDB few months back.

relationship: gonna hit our 8th year together (not without its ups and downs of course)

career: stable, moved in house to manage a smaller portfolio (traded off with a pay cut but am now able to spend more time with my loved ones)

financial: sufficient for a comfortable living in Singapore, and short to long haul holidays every year. It's all about managing expenses and prudent spending

friends: now, this is something I would never have expected back in my twenties. Was popular back in school and NS and even work, was always out hanging with friends and all. But as I got older, I began to spend lesser time outside and gradually, we all moved on. Frankly, I now have less than 5 really close friends but to my amazement, they are all I need now for company

health: could be better (I'm happy with my current mental and physical state) but living with a chronic disease makes me appreciate my loved ones more

pastime: jog, swim, read and weekly movies

media habits: Instagramming, YouTube, Financial Times and Business Times

others: straight acting (although IMO, I'm just being normal and myself) and unless people asked me directly on my sexual orientation, I don't flaunt or boast or brag my sexuality.

 

that my friend pretty much sums up my life journey to date.

[ctglobal]

1 hour ago, Creevie said:

Thanks a lot for taking the time to respond! About your reflections on career and friendship, wow... could be because we wouldn't have the burdens of bringing children up, so we have the luxury to find ourselves more alone... 

I've always felt that friends are very important to our mental and emotional health, and I do wonder if it's because I'm single too. 

Even the gay friends become flakey too though.  That's the sad part.  Agree with you that friends are actually quite important.  Need to make more of them I reckon to replace all the ones who have since segued to other paths.

 

 

45 minutes ago, doncoin said:

With regards to career, the only comment I have is if you can, this is the best time to go back to school. You have worked sufficient number of years already for experience. It is not a bad option to take a year or 2 off, or do part time graduate degree. 

 

Yup sir, got ya there on the school bit.  midway through a masters, tho sadly taking off to do it is not an option haha.  did you do yours?

[instantnoodles]

quite settled in career, finances...

always wanted to do more for society...

but work always gets in the way...

or probably just an excuse...

[doncoin]

53 minutes ago, ctglobal said:

Even the gay friends become flakey too though.  That's the sad part.  Agree with you that friends are actually quite important.  Need to make more of them I reckon to replace all the ones who have since segued to other paths.

 

 

 

Yup sir, got ya there on the school bit.  midway through a masters, tho sadly taking off to do it is not an option haha.  did you do yours?

 

 

Well, I did my tests and applied but ultimately decided to use the money then to start my own business. In my 40s now, and am reapplying for MBA program part time or executive. 

[barocco80]

5 hours ago, Creevie said:

Ok la paiseh lah people coz I don't indtagram and when I do look at it, the few random ones I go to see mostly pose ripped bods of themselves and then caption things like "too fat, I need to exercise and diet more!" etc. These may be the extremes I know, so sorry ahh if I offended anyone. 

 

 

Am like you not into insta and i don't buy the "sharing" of one's journey stuff... Anyway better zip  Going into mid 30's...

finances are ok coz being prudent most of the time...

career wise thinking of staying at comfort zone or take on more challenging roles

few good friends to turn to for emergency otherwise comfortable to be alone

can be playful sometimes but always responsible

cycle most weekend to Mandai, round island or trip to MY occasionally

ready for the next adventure be it scuba diving or trekking

relationship wise? hardly any good match so no luck...

[ChiSquare]

Everything seems ok to me (i.e. met expectations and targets)... just missing a companion. Sigh!

[Guest 30snow]

Careers :  stable, advancing faster now 

Health :  can be better but not bad 

Financial :  

Savings :  working hard -> 

Relationship : 

Friendship :  just kept to a handful (deep ones)

 

I can understand why TS mentioned the part on 'fishing for praises and likes', I can see how 'superficial' and 'insincere' bulk of the community appear to be. All these double life and differing standards + behaviour in person and on social media, and I certainly dislike feeding attention to these group of people. ain't nobody got time for dat!

However, worth mentioning that in every circle and social group, it's always a spectrum. If you look in the right places with the right people, there are plenty of sincere people who just want to make life better for others as well. 

 

 

[snowball]

so far so good, nothing to complain about, happy and jolly

[benedict5856]

8 hours ago, sexyspider said:

Going gym everyday n yet still chubby. U must doing wrong thing. I go to gym once a week eat a lot n still fit. The best is just 3-4 times a week

i go gym is not to carry weight, but attending classes, like body combat and yoga. 

And now i am already in my 40s, not 30s, its all history, and i love being chubby. In fact i am trying very hard to reach 100kg but failed. Got once finally hit 90kg but now drop back to 85kg. sigh....

I indulged myself with buffet at hotels, almost weekly going turf club having Ah Yat seafood and tim sum, Boon Tong chicken rice and many more.

Now i tried drinking beer, ordering a tower each time.

Thus, i don't think i am doing the wrong thing in gym.

I do NOT want to waste my life, trying to eat healthy, exercise, then look tanned, body without a single fats, and those 'extremists' i met at gym, in fact, personally i find them look so disgusting. They can talk for hours eating what kinda wholemeal bread or dunno what bread. They literally look like those science centre display items.

And i have no intention to look "skinny", which u guys call it lean and fit.

And after each class, i will go and eat curry chicken at bugis, curry chicken at tiong bahru market, instead of wasting time calculating how many calories can take per day, or drink what protein drinks.

 

i want to enjoy life, eating good food. Laksa, nasi lemak, fried kwey teoh, all come come. But exercise abit so that won't kena blood vessel blocked.

[ctglobal]

10 hours ago, Guest 30snow said:

 

I can understand why TS mentioned the part on 'fishing for praises and likes', I can see how 'superficial' and 'insincere' bulk of the community appear to be. All these double life and differing standards + behaviour in person and on social media, and I certainly dislike feeding attention to these group of people. ain't nobody got time for dat!

YESSSS! EXACTLY!!!!

10 hours ago, Guest 30snow said:

However, worth mentioning that in every circle and social group, it's always a spectrum. If you look in the right places with the right people, there are plenty of sincere people who just want to make life better for others as well. 

 

Pls share... where to find these "right places" with "right people"?  Been looking high and low and frankly speaking damn hard.  Even if you find a seemingly nice pocket of individuals, seems like everyone so tied up with their schedule and existing stuff, it's hard to try and break in to form anything new.

[Creevie]

I am thankful for the responses! I think relationships just fade off easily without us know in this rapidly accelerating digital age and time of distraction. Important. Later no stable relationships become neurotic. 

Money-wise, better be stable. The difference between an old man and a gentleman is money.  Saw that in a quote before

 

With regards to studying or starting your own biz etc, I think I wanna establish some competency or value in my hobbies, like my piano playing and Japanese language proficiency etc. Good to have more life than just working to maintain my bachelor pad, and working out to strut your stuff huhuhu......

 

Great comments, keep them coming. Let us all be mutually inspired. Not a lot of role models for us, the way I see it. 

 

 

[ctglobal]

6 minutes ago, Creevie said:

Not a lot of role models for us, the way I see it. 

 

SO DAMN TRUE! and so unfortunate.  in general I feel like the gay "community" is really lacking COMMUNITY and is instead a hedonistic bunch of superficials programmed to all like/do/become similar boring cliches.

 

Would be so good to actually be surrounded by a more cohesive group of inspiring, interesting, progressive people who help develop each other and themselves as well.

[Nipoet]

21 hours ago, Creevie said:

...

Are u all happy with yourselves  

For example,

1 - peace of mind / self-esteem

2 - finances (income/savings/investments etc)

3 - work

4 - love 

5 - friends and family

6 - health and fitness 

7 - media habits 

8 - lifestyle thoughts, fulfilment level, outlook

9 - etc

 

Thanks guys! 

 

1 - have always been ok with myself, not just when i am 30+. It's a character/maturity thing, and not something i somehow acquired when i hit 30.

 

2 - Not heavily in debt. In fact, no debt other than the home loan, so i guess I'm good in this aspect too.

Income can always be more, though.

Been investing since i started working, which wasnt that long ago, anyway. Also have around 3mths salary as safety buffer in savings.

 

3 - Work is good, hoping for more career progression. Probably gonna stay in it for the long haul, even though there are many other good opportunites outside.

 

4 - Finally got attached with someone who is crazy about me, so I'm good. :)) Sex isnt that great, though, but I'm ok with it.

 

5 - Finally moved out of my parent's house, and staying in my very own Ivory Tower!

 

6 - Didnt pass IPPT last cycle, but that's due to reno-ing Ivory Tower. I managed to pass last last year, though. So i guess my fitness is still there, just need to start training again...

But I'm mostly a couch potato for most of the time.

 

7 - Facebooking a little. I dont even post actively in it. Just use the acc to play FB games. No other social media activities otherwise.

 

8 - Sustainable current lifestyle, retirement plans, keep healthy, enjoy time with loved ones. Dont do crazy things. Occasionally maybe go holiday overseas. But why would i want to leave my Ivory Tower? :?

 

9 - I just turned 36, that's why i had bought my resale 2rm flat last year, at 35. 

[Lemonjuice]

This year marks my tenth year in Sydney.

 

Career : great. Working on for the next promotion.

 

Financial: improved with savings and investment.

 

Health: has changed weights with more HIgh Intensity Training. Man this back starts to acting up...

 

Relationship: i have found the one and we are thinking and planning about future together.

 

Friendship: this has shrunk into a handful number of people. No complain as life moves on and the people around are those "relevant" for this circumstances.

 

Daily activities: apart from work and gym. We are both avid gamers and Movie/ Netflix series addicts. I guess this keep us young. 

 

 

[paddle_up]

In my mid-thirties, recently back to Singapore due to overseas for my education and work for the past ten years plus.

 

Thankfully, I have 6 closed buddies, 3 ladies, 2 straight dudes and 1 gay pal.  They managed to offer their own unique perspectives to issues and matters and stir me onto certain path along my life journey.  My few best advices given have been “Don’t let history catch up with you, do whatever you wanna, just don’t regret”, and “a dashing look and sexy bod should not be your only asset, as these are declining asset but you gonna need more”.

 

Growing up has been identity searching, body excellence fixation and physical appearance attractiveness.  As moving into my 30s, priorities have shifted.  Financial independence emerges, family and friend relationships, better and mild personality, the maturity to accept failures and rejections.

 

Home – brought over the executive apartment from my dad and fully paid.  My dad stays at my place.

Finance – sound investment, no loan, able to survive at least ten years without the need to work.

Family – my family knew about me and they have accepted whole heartedly.  Appreciative for that.

Friends – Some getting closer and the 6 buddies are closely knitted till today.

Health – Regular working out in the gym, plus twice tennis games with my tennis pals.

Relationship – Hmmmmm I am working on it.  Wish me luck.

[ThePineapple]

6 hours ago, paddle_up said:

In my mid-thirties, recently back to Singapore due to overseas for my education and work for the past ten years plus.

 

Thankfully, I have 6 closed buddies, 3 ladies, 2 straight dudes and 1 gay pal.  They managed to offer their own unique perspectives to issues and matters and stir me onto certain path along my life journey.  My few best advices given have been “Don’t let history catch up with you, do whatever you wanna, just don’t regret”, and “a dashing look and sexy bod should not be your only asset, as these are declining asset but you gonna need more”.

 

Growing up has been identity searching, body excellence fixation and physical appearance attractiveness.  As moving into my 30s, priorities have shifted.  Financial independence emerges, family and friend relationships, better and mild personality, the maturity to accept failures and rejections.

 

Home – brought over the executive apartment from my dad and fully paid.  My dad stays at my place.

Finance – sound investment, no loan, able to survive at least ten years without the need to work.

Family – my family knew about me and they have accepted whole heartedly.  Appreciative for that.

Friends – Some getting closer and the 6 buddies are closely knitted till today.

Health – Regular working out in the gym, plus twice tennis games with my tennis pals.

Relationship – Hmmmmm I am working on it.  Wish me luck.

 

Not one but 6  Nice !
Let's  on Relationship... maybe that will work for us 

[Guest Strong alone]

6 hours ago, paddle_up said:

In my mid-thirties, recently back to Singapore due to overseas for my education and work for the past ten years plus.

 

Thankfully, I have 6 closed buddies, 3 ladies, 2 straight dudes and 1 gay pal.  They managed to offer their own unique perspectives to issues and matters and stir me onto certain path along my life journey.  My few best advices given have been “Don’t let history catch up with you, do whatever you wanna, just don’t regret”, and “a dashing look and sexy bod should not be your only asset, as these are declining asset but you gonna need more”.

 

Growing up has been identity searching, body excellence fixation and physical appearance attractiveness.  As moving into my 30s, priorities have shifted.  Financial independence emerges, family and friend relationships, better and mild personality, the maturity to accept failures and rejections.

 

Home – brought over the executive apartment from my dad and fully paid.  My dad stays at my place.

Finance – sound investment, no loan, able to survive at least ten years without the need to work.

Family – my family knew about me and they have accepted whole heartedly.  Appreciative for that.

Friends – Some getting closer and the 6 buddies are closely knitted till today.

Health – Regular working out in the gym, plus twice tennis games with my tennis pals.

Relationship – Hmmmmm I am working on it.  Wish me luck.

Weak that you need friends to spur you.

 

I have no friends yet I still get motivated to move on. Friends do not come by easily, if you have money and looks (judging by your comments you seem to have both) they will accept you into their circle even if they hate you behind. I do not rely on others to make myself be positive. You will probably burn down and suffer if they start to leave you, which they will as time goes by.

[Creevie]

Guests be just coming in and spewing their hate like usual. Our comments all give others insight into us as a person. People do get bitter and cynical as they're disappointed time after time, and their pompous, condescending attitude shows more then they might like. But you know, we all tend to be toxic like that when certain aspects in our lives are out of balance; filling the void with some sense of existence by talking smack about others. 

 

I am absolutely loving the recent comments by paddle_up, Lemonjuice, Nipoet, and Ctglobal. Very insightful! Glad to find resonance in all your comments. 

[ctglobal]

28 minutes ago, Creevie said:

Guests be just coming in and spewing their hate like usual. Our comments all give others insight into us as a person. People do get bitter and cynical as they're disappointed time after time, and their pompous, condescending attitude shows more then they might like. But you know, we all tend to be toxic like that when certain aspects in our lives are out of balance; filling the void with some sense of existence by talking smack about others. 

 

I am absolutely loving the recent comments by paddle_up, Lemonjuice, Nipoet, and Ctglobal. Very insightful! Glad to find resonance in all your comments. 

Yes, unfortunately we do have a few too many visiting cynics having a swipe at the rest of us.

Surely such people can find better entertainment elsewhere and leave the civilised conversation to the adults.

[Guest Scorpy]

6 hours ago, Guest Strong alone said:

Weak that you need friends to spur you.

 

I have no friends yet I still get motivated to move on. Friends do not come by easily, if you have money and looks (judging by your comments you seem to have both) they will accept you into their circle even if they hate you behind. I do not rely on others to make myself be positive. You will probably burn down and suffer if they start to leave you, which they will as time goes by.

I don't think that's what he meant by that you know. I may be wrong but I felt that he was trying to express how important his six friends are and perhaps, due to the diversity amongst them, he is able to get various perspectives to one situation.

 

he might even be more strong than we think, perhaps the anchor that keeps everyone together. 

 

That said, it's truly interesting and insightful how we can interpret the same words and phrasing differently.

 

#humansaretrulyunique 

[Guest Just hit 30]

Just hit 30 this month. 

Career wise seems to be moving forward. Fortunate to be part of a programme which allows me to rotate around various departments and find something I like. 

Financially wise quite okay. Able to have the occasional splurge on luxury goods and to have long and short holidays. Need to be more diligent in investing.

Family, single parent, still not out to my mum and I don't think I ever will. 

Friends, a few drifted apart and I guess we are all too busy with our own lives to keep in touch or take the initiative to meet up. Hahaha cut off all my partying. No more drinking as well.

Health, gym regularly. Still trying to look good and stay attractive. As I believe that there are no ugly ppl but lazy ppl. Need to focus more on not getting sick..

Relationship, still no luck... Hahaha maybe I am asking too much ..

 

Mostly importantly trying to stay positive .

 

 

[ThePineapple]

5 hours ago, Guest Just hit 30 said:

Just hit 30 this month. 

Career wise seems to be moving forward. Fortunate to be part of a programme which allows me to rotate around various departments and find something I like. 

Financially wise quite okay. Able to have the occasional splurge on luxury goods and to have long and short holidays. Need to be more diligent in investing.

Family, single parent, still not out to my mum and I don't think I ever will. 

Friends, a few drifted apart and I guess we are all too busy with our own lives to keep in touch or take the initiative to meet up. Hahaha cut off all my partying. No more drinking as well.

Health, gym regularly. Still trying to look good and stay attractive. As I believe that there are no ugly ppl but lazy ppl. Need to focus more on not getting sick..

Relationship, still no luck... Hahaha maybe I am asking too much ..

 

Mostly importantly trying to stay positive .

 

 

welcome to the  club ! 

[charvo87]

Pathetic loner since birth. 

[lonelyglobe]

30s should be the best part in your life, if we use 4 seasons to symbolise life, 30s is the mid summer, hot, hot......a stage where u have completed your study, national service and somehow stable in your career and financial aspects, over the years u have cultivate some nice friendship and still possible to look for a relationship, a chance to buy a hdb flat and stay independently or with your partner, health is still in the pink without much issues and yes, as u became more mature, u make better and wiser choice in life

[CCK central]

On 4/26/2017 at 3:36 PM, ZKT279 said:

I'm in my 34...

Careers :

Health :

Financial :

Saving : 

Relationship :

 

Same same haizzzz

 

[Guest Guest]

Does it feel bad for 30s to see so many young daddy guys, maybe even 20s, carrying and tending to babies in the malls, pushing baby cots...

Does it make you feel like inferior?

 

 

[Guest Lol]

4 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

Does it feel bad for 30s to see so many young daddy guys, maybe even 20s, carrying and tending to babies in the malls, pushing baby cots...

Does it make you feel like inferior?

 

 

Looking at them makes me appreciate that I do not need to spend money on diapers, milk and baby stuff, burn sleepless nights due to baby cries, stress when the baby is sick, stress when the wife also feels stress... being gay and single gives so much freedom. Also no tummy and balding as seen in many straight married men in their 30

[ctglobal]

1 hour ago, Guest Lol said:

Looking at them makes me appreciate that I do not need to spend money on diapers, milk and baby stuff, burn sleepless nights due to baby cries, stress when the baby is sick, stress when the wife also feels stress... being gay and single gives so much freedom. \

 

Amen. hahaha.  

[sgboy84]

Who cares. Age doesn't matter. Just live your life positively and be thankful for what you have. 

[Lemonjuice]

20 hours ago, Guest Lol said:

Looking at them makes me appreciate that I do not need to spend money on diapers, milk and baby stuff, burn sleepless nights due to baby cries, stress when the baby is sick, stress when the wife also feels stress... being gay and single gives so much freedom. Also no tummy and balding as seen in many straight married men in their 30

 

I second this. Getting married and having kids are NOT achievements.

 

Finishing a degree, landing a good job, buying your dream house these are achievements.

 

Having said that kids are blessing for those nurturing parents who wish to have kids and not just to fulfill the wish of the grandparents.

 

[tomcat]

This is an interesting topic, one I dont really think about much because I guess I don't spend much time comparing with others, what I have or don't have. But here goes, I am 36 yo by the way:

 

Mental: Lesser insecurities - better sense of identity, more confidence and accepting of myself and others.

 

Finances: Have set up proper investments/insurance to be able to retire at 50. No debt, Continue to be frugal and save up. Share a flat together with my life-partner, and will be paid off in full by 2025. 

 

Work: Settled, but always looking for advancements. The earlier I hit my target, the earlier I can retire.

 

Love: Committed relationship coming to 8 years, he shares same outlook on Life. We aim to retire together, and live a simple life. Some challenges along the way, relating to trust and expectations, but we overcome them by communicating and listening and adapting.

 

Family: We are accepted by my parents and immediate family - thankful for that. My sis and her husband also accepts us, and trusts us with their kids. They live different lives than us but try to understand, so I am grateful.

 

Health: Trying to constantly learn more to keep myself healthy for longer. Health is not just for looks anymore, but long term physicality. I want to still be able to swim, trek and travel at 70! So gym and exercise for strength, mindful eating for nutrition.

 

Media Habits: Hmm, not sure. We don't play video games, or own a TV. Home is a sacred space, so we are mindful about limiting negative intrusions like inviting images of war, or Donald Trump into the home. Haha. We prefer our projector, which we use for movie screenings. We have 3 cats that provide us sincere and positive entertaintment also. And we also enjoy movie dates and travelling.

Spirituality: Stronger now than in 20s, mindfulness helps to alleviate daily stresses of Life, people and other things. I realised this is so important now to help me refocus my energy, thoughts and actions into outcomes I desire, rather than just reacting blindly, or being emotionally driven. This is something I was only able to decipher and cultivate in my late 20s, and have been the way I live til today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 20, 2018 by tomcat