Married Disappearing Syndrome

[ctglobal]

I have now experienced this twice in my life.  Situation:

 

You have a good friend who you seem on a semi regular basis.  Quite friendly, happy go lucky, enjoyable times.  There's just one problem: they're straight.  Yes, you know this unnatural affliction will one day morph into this unfortunate illness called "marriage" which will engulf them.

 

Then that day comes-- you get the wedding invitation.  You think to yourself, "well, we're close, I should go, how exciting for them, I am going to be happy for them and help them celebrate their big day." 

 

You attend the ceremony, dress up all nice, bring ang bao, take pictures, put up with the usual shenanigans and small talk with whoever you get lumped at a table with.

 

And then, it happens: Married Disappearing Syndrome, or "MDS" for short, kicks in.  The friend you once had now disappears out of your life as fast as the suitcases are back in the closet from their honeymoon.  Their communication skills suffer first.  No messages, no word, no catch ups, no closeness anymore.  Any attempt to try and catch up with them even on the usual social media are greeted with non-committal replies and generalities, as of they have become zombified and have lost all use of their calendar and time management skills.  This syndrome eventually morphs into pregnancy, fatness, and inability to leave the house for periods longer than a few hours at a time.

 

Medical professionals are still searching for a cure for MDS and are currently seeking volunteers to share their experiences as part of a research study. 

 

Please detail your history in dealing with those afflicted by MDS below.

[Junhui]

=)

Edited June 11, 2017 by Junhui

[axelrod]

Getting married means they have chosen and partnered someone for life, of course they will become their priority. Their spouse's, children's and family's needs and time will naturally take precedence over friends. 

[lonelyglobe]

is very common, beside his own family and friends, he now have to spend time with their partner, partner's family and friends, wait till they have baby, that is almost the end of friendship (no matter how close you are before), is already a blessing if can meet up once a year during x'mas or cny, even meet up also not much similar topics to talk about

[SexySteps]

Different folks 

Different strokes... 

[nate42]

On 6/11/2017 at 8:44 PM, lonelyglobe said:

is very common, beside his own family and friends, he now have to spend time with their partner, partner's family and friends, wait till they have baby, that is almost the end of friendship (no matter how close you are before), is already a blessing if can meet up once a year during x'mas or cny, even meet up also not much similar topics to talk about

 

Agreed. Quite common here in Singapore. Once you get married, you pretty much give up your old life. I have lost track of my close friends long time ago. It isn't as bad if one get married as you still get to meet for drinks. But once, the group gets married...that's it!! With 2 income families now, it is a constant pressure to have to contribute at home in taking care of the kids etc.

 

I miss my life in the Seattle. In fact it is common that the men have a "guys' night out." What you see on TV where the guys have poker, play sports, go to the bar etc; isn't fictitious.  It actually happens at least once a week and it is always a hoot (pun intended) when I would go for cheap drinks at the local Hooters!! 

 

We just have to make time I guess...

[upshot]

It is always the case... once you married a girl, she will get you to give up your friends and keep her's (unless they are prime important to your career which is your money they want to see grow from those relationship) ... I have so far spend a good hour trying to think of relatives, good friends and past colleagues for an exception. I can only think of 3 and they are because they learn to make their relationship equal to each other work and also they are the bigger money earner and can afford to lose their wives so their wife dare not play the power game with them nor her families. heheh

 

Most g/f and wife will make the guy lose their friends over their own. Now I might be that unlucky but anyone else notice this or it is so biologically or socially accepted naturally that you guys take this for granted over time or just been in the simmering hot water analogy for too long? Just so long you happy she allow you to have sex with her once in a while so you best listen to her to keep having that once in a while sex? LOL. They call it make love remember or an act of love.... but when you want it, they call it DREADED WORK.  I lost many good friends that way and they only come back after they divorce or start to stray and only stay for the kids when they notice who is overtime getting the best deal of  the marriage deal over time. Equal footing between couples... there are some but far few I can even think of from my own experiences. While you have your expectation in a marriage.. remember she has her's too and they might not always be as upfront as they will let on. But if we are only after them for one thing and you are not looking at who she truly is, you are in for a rough ride when the honeymoon is over and the mask and kid gloves comes off. That's not to say male are such fucking angles too heheh.. but it is almost accepted among women that all males are scum...but keep your dick in check guys... there are as many bad women who are scum too. So becareful.