i8i8 Posted September 8, 2017 Report Share Posted September 8, 2017 (edited) I am in my 50’s. Early this year, I was suffering from mid life crisis, i was feeling lost in life, I lost the will to live, I was hoping to die to end it all. My life was so empty and meaningless. Since graduation, I have been working 16 hour days 6 days a week to meet family living commitments and I suddenly realised I have never lived for my own happiness, never enjoyed love in my whole life. I met a someone in BW. We got on surprisingly well from the start although both parties were discreet and guarded in the beginning like most friendships. We were both so similar. We chat, we ate, we supported each other in our ups and down, and unknowingly, I opened my heart to him which was never opened and guarded for 50 over years. He is very precious to me, he was my soulmate, my lover, even a son which I never had, I cared for him very much and wish to give my best to him. He gave my joy, meaning, purpose and stability in life and I was sure he felt the same way about me. We shared our deepest secrets with each other. Even though it was late at night and I still had work to complete, when he wanted to meet me, I would drive almost 40 minutes to be with him till the wee morning to keep him company. Since I was single, I had even willed part of my assets to him because to me, he was an important part of my life, he saved me and gave me the will to live on. Recently things suddenly changed. He met someone else. He told me this person was interested in him and loved him very much so he wanted to try out this new relationship with him. The smallest things done by this new lover was such a big deal to him, whereas the same things which I had sacrificed much more to do for him in the past was nothing and not appreciated by him. In fact, he accused me of loving him more than an ordinary friend, that i chatted with him way too often when actually we have always chatted daily! I was devastated. My life crumbled, my heart pierced with a thousand arrows, I felt totally lost. I pained and griefed so much I cried uncontrollably till now. I have not cried for more than 30 years! How could someone just turn on turn off his love for me? Was it all fake from the start? I felt it wasn’t, I am sure it wasn’t. Now I am in a worse situation than before we met. My spirits are down and I have even lost my will to work. I am sinking, I am in depression. He told me to focus on my health and family and forget about him, but how can i? It has always been my principle and conviction in life to be sincere, honest, loyal and stedfast to all my friends no matter what happens, to give beyond and even sacrifice, so that my friends can always depend on me because I am a true friend to them, not a fair-weather friend, what more for my lover. I am unable to retract my love for him because I only love one person in my life. He will always be my only love. I will never open my heart to any one else in the future. I pray God will let me die soon to end this agony in my heart. I pray he is happier now. Edited November 13, 2017 by i8i8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben S Posted September 8, 2017 Report Share Posted September 8, 2017 Sadly .... people can change. and it looks like it happens. it seems you're a logical person since you can analyze the situation. So, choose what's best for you and good luck with your choices mlydaddy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yoo Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Who is the masseur? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 I'm sensing some kind of confusion here. Does the masseur know you like him as more than just a friend? Did you actually tell him you want to be boyfriends? if yes, did he accept or decline? If no, how can you fault him for liking someone else? Just because you like as more than a friend doesn't mean he has to reciprocate with the same level of affection, you know. cmlf 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GuestLoveMature Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Time will mend all Broken Heart. It took me 2 years to be fully recovered when my ex mature Lover in his early 60s left for a new younger man. He is very caring n most of the time will drive me home after every appointment despite I tried to stop him to go home to have a ample rest. He broke off with his new BF after a year n wanted to patch up with me. I said a Big NO cause I was really felt like you, wanted to end up my meaninless Life too. The Pains of the broke out almost killed me. Move on n be Strong Brother. My ex lover is not very handsome but mature professional n manly discreet looking. I hope to meet a New Mature Man who will cherish me someday. A small Hope in Life can also make a big difference in your Life. Take care n dun take anything silly, not worth it. will mend all Broken Heart. It took me 2 years to be fully recovered when my ex mature Lover in his early 60s left for a new younger man. He is very caring n most of the time will drive me home after every appointment despite I tried to stop him to go home to have a ample rest. He broke off with his new BF after a year n wanted to patch up with me. I said a Big NO cause I was really felt like you, wanted to end up my meaninless Life too. The Pains of the broke out almost killed me. Move on n be Strong Brother. My ex lover is not very handsome but mature professional n manly discreet looking. I hope to meet a New Mature Man who will cherish me someday. A small Hope in Life can also make a big difference in your Life. Take care n dun take anything silly, not worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pope Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 4 minutes ago, Guest GuestLoveMature said: Time will mend all Broken Heart. It took me 2 years to be fully recovered when my ex mature Lover in his early 60s left for a new younger man. He is very caring n most of the time will drive me home after every appointment despite I tried to stop him to go home to have a ample rest. He broke off with his new BF after a year n wanted to patch up with me. I said a Big NO cause I was really felt like you, wanted to end up my meaninless Life too. The Pains of the broke out almost killed me. Move on n be Strong Brother. My ex lover is not very handsome but mature professional n manly discreet looking. I hope to meet a New Mature Man who will cherish me someday. A small Hope in Life can also make a big difference in your Life. Take care n dun take anything silly, not worth it. will mend all Broken Heart. It took me 2 years to be fully recovered when my ex mature Lover in his early 60s left for a new younger man. He is very caring n most of the time will drive me home after every appointment despite I tried to stop him to go home to have a ample rest. He broke off with his new BF after a year n wanted to patch up with me. I said a Big NO cause I was really felt like you, wanted to end up my meaninless Life too. The Pains of the broke out almost killed me. Move on n be Strong Brother. My ex lover is not very handsome but mature professional n manly discreet looking. I hope to meet a New Mature Man who will cherish me someday. A small Hope in Life can also make a big difference in your Life. Take care n dun take anything silly, not worth it. How about match make you with TS? Two lonely hearts will heal faster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowingember Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Dear TS, It took me some time to get over someone I liked a lot and I also thought the heartache would last forever. But all things will pass, including grief, loss and heartaches. Take care. up2xgd and mlydaddy 1 1 After all, tomorrow is another day. ~ S O'Hara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Sad but its true: you cant make him love you. Grieve for now. Dont forget there are better things in life. You just havent found them yet. cmlf 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boydsg Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Like the old adage, time heals all wounds. You know why it's true? Because we love ourselves the most. And that's the right thing to do, one should love oneself above and beyond anyone. However, if u realize you don't love yourself the most, then that's true love for you. Pubic01 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lohwpr Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) Grief....Cry....and ..... grief again.... Time will heal. But u must be patient.... U have good days and many bad days....Wave of emotion will hit you suddenly. But, Time will heal. Eventually, u have more good days then bad days......but the scars remains.... Time will heal.. Look forward to the day when u r liberated from this pain....Know the fact that the pain will eventually subside. All u have to do is endure and wait for that day... Time will heal. I been thru this process and I know exactly how you feel... Stop following him in FB, Instagram and all social media....Condition your mind to live a life without him. Time will heal Edited September 9, 2017 by lohwpr cmlf 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
share Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Aiyoh thought what happen to you. Wake up bro. 别要生要死。Life is too short & precious for all these. Cry your heart out if it makes you feel better. Accept it. Let go & move on. I've learned that nothing is fair. No expectation no disappointment. Take it as part of our life journey. I know it's not ez. Makes us stronger once you overcome the situation. Already 50's. How many years left? 要为自己而活。Love ourselves. Enjoy life. Go for nice food, gathering with friends. Go holiday. Take a break. Take care... cmlf and mlydaddy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sean Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 3 hours ago, i8i8 said: I am in my 50’s. Early this year, I was suffering from mid life crisis, i was feeling lost in life, I lost the will to live, I was hoping to die to end it all. My life was so empty and meaningless. Since graduation, I have been working 16 hour days 6 days a week to meet family living commitments and I suddenly realised I have never lived for my own happiness, never enjoyed love in my whole life. I met a popular masseur still operating in BW. We got on surprisingly well from the start although both parties were discreet and guarded in the beginning like most friendships. We were both so similar. We chat, we ate, we supported each other in our ups and down, and unknowingly, I opened my heart to him which was never opened and guarded for 50 over years. He is very precious to me, he was my soulmate, my lover, even a son which I never had, I cared for him very much and wish to give my best to him. He gave my joy, meaning, purpose and stability in life and I was sure he felt the same way about me. We shared our deepest secrets with each other. Even though it was late at night and I still had work to complete, when he wanted to meet me, I would drive almost 40 minutes to be with him till the wee morning to keep him company. Since I was single, I had even willed part of my assets to him because to me, he was an important part of my life, he saved me and gave me the will to live on. Recently things suddenly changed. He met someone else, a married man. He told me this person was interested in him and loved him very much so he wanted to try out this new relationship with him. The smallest things done by this new lover was such a big deal to him, whereas the same things which I had sacrificed much more to do for him in the past was nothing and not appreciated by him. In fact, he accused me of loving him more than an ordinary friend, that i chatted with him way too often when actually we have always chatted daily! I was devastated. My life crumbled, my heart pierced with a thousand arrows, I felt totally lost. I pained and griefed so much I cried uncontrollably till now. I have not cried for more than 30 years! How could someone just turn on turn off his love for me? Was it all fake from the start? I felt it wasn’t, I am sure it wasn’t. Now I am in a worse situation than before we met. My spirits are down and I have even lost my will to work. I am sinking, I am in depression. He told me to focus on my health and family and forget about him, but how can i? It has always been my principle and conviction in life to be sincere, honest, loyal and stedfast to all my friends no matter what happens, to give beyond and even sacrifice, so that my friends can always depend on me because I am a true friend to them, not a fair-weather friend, what more for my lover. I am unable to retract my love for him because I only love one person in my life. He will always be my only love. I will never open my heart to any one else in the future. I pray God will let me die soon to end this agony in my heart. I pray he is happier now. You sure you are in your 50's ? or in your 15 ? This topic was created to ease boredom I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Detachment Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 People cave in to societal pressures about having a romantic relationship. This is the fatal mistake of putting all your eggs in one basket. Always have backup plans so that your fall won't ruin everything. You have lived 50 years and I'm surprised that you have not lived long enough to realize that having a relationship is not the most important thing to have in order to live a meaningful life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pubic01 Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Relationship is a risk in itself. It's about trust. Trust of love, of commitment, of fidelity, whatever, etc. But this trust once given out is no longer yours. It's now up to how much the other person honour and value that trust. From that moment on, you cannot control how that person uses that trust. He can trample it, use it to manipulate you, treasure you, anything. Now I understand why true relationship is so hard to find and maintain. We are all taking steps to protect ourselves and we start locking ourselves inward. Having a love relationship is not a bad thing. It can be the most beautiful memories one can create in his lifetime. But it is also a risk that can tear you into shreds. Choose to give your trust wisely. It's very precious. cmlf 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 never give up hope, no matter how dark things seem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wake up la Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Hey TS, your rantings sound more like you having an infatuation on this so-called "soulmate" of yours. You need to realise that he probably never thought of you as anything more than a client or customer. Furthermore, he is with a married man now. That in itself is an blatant clue to what kind of person he really is. This bored married sociopath will probably be done with him once he finds someone else to be entertained by. So, wake the fuck up and get over this. There is so much more in life to live for. PS: you sound really unstable, please consider getting professional help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimlife Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 These days there are many broken hearted and instead of healing hearts most would only think of going to die... please don't think that's the only way. You have choices, in fact many choices... so please do treasure precious life. Your heart will heal but it needs time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAntisen Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) I'm kinda confused tbh. Is this your first time getting screwed over by someone? Cause dude, it happens all the time and it's just weird that it took you this long to realize that people are fickle. Love has never been the end all and be all. Whoever told you that lied to you, and you fell for it. What you're feeling is the equivalent of a kid realizing that Santa isn't real. I'm sorry if I'm marginalizing how you're feeling, but you need to own the reality that your mindset, perspective and naivety is a huge part of why you're feeling heartbroken. How we choose to feel and perceive things lie solely on ourselves. I'm not saying you need to turn into an emotionless jackass, but the thing is that you cannot expect anyone to stay in something they just don't feel like staying in. It happens. There's nothing more fickle that human emotion. The healing process doesn't just... happen. As much as we all like to say that things happen at its own pace, you need to remember that it all depends on you. Learn what your emotions are trying to tell you, and grow from it. You mention that you've not cried for 30 years. What happened that made you block out your emotions that much? That's what the healing process is. Growing up, fighting your demons, accepting yourself, forgiving yourself, forgiving others who have wronged you, but most importantly... building a strong foundation for yourself to fall on. There a belief that I follow that people come into our lives to teach us something. They may be in our lives for a day, a week, a few months, or years. But ultimately, they'll all go away and we'll always come out of that experience learning something new about ourselves. And what I've found throughout my life, after my own heartbreaks and struggles is that I've always been glad for them. Because what I learn and overcome has always made me a better person. I hope you'll see that for yourself eventually as well. Edited September 9, 2017 by TheAntisen R_CF_L and iknikn 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest :-( Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Live so old but never fallen in love before you want to bluff who. Aiyo you should look for the MB that someone was posting days back. After seeing and having intimate session with another hot guy, your soul and kkj will be happier. If you are really 50, then start acting like a matured person. I may not be 50 but I know what is called moving on. Stop whining like a princess, can't stand that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noomi Rapace Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 I am intentionally single most of the time. Get together with lonely friends only for chit chat, and have zichar. Try not to go into serious dating nowadays as everyone is basically a switcher.. If you get too serious, you will be injured the most. Ever wonder why Singapore's birth rate is so low? That is the reason. Too many divorces even after marriage. Lots of heart breaks these days. Love yourself first before you love others. If you love others, do not will away your wealth so quickly without leaving some for your family. It is a gift. Once you part a gift, it can't be return. Life is not the end. One more day, you stay lonely. One more day, someone can date you out. You are loved by the world. Just that you do not know it. I am here writing to you, so that you feel better. Anyway, if you need a chat, just pm me. feeder1234, ThePineapple and swimlife 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKW Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 I ever had something similar before but as many others above have said: time will heal. In the meantime, find a hobby or distract yourself with other things. Go shopping, go to the beach, buy a DVD box set of a nice Korean drama, Game of Thrones, etc., and have fun. Don't let your whole life revolve around one person. There's much more to life than that guy. Lastly, as others have said, did he know that you regard him as a bf? Cos he seems offended by it, even though to a large extent he seemed to have been using you as a bf to enjoy the "benefits", including and especially financial benefits. He was probably just seeing you as a rich sugar daddy, and never really cared about you. In any case, let him go and do be more careful with who you lavish your affection and money on next time. R_CF_L 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8i8 Posted September 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Guest :-( said: Live so old but never fallen in love before you want to bluff who. Aiyo you should look for the MB that someone was posting days back. After seeing and having intimate session with another hot guy, your soul and kkj will be happier. If you are really 50, then start acting like a matured person. I may not be 50 but I know what is called moving on. Stop whining like a princess, can't stand that! Thank you all for your kind encouragement. i am a simple straight forward person of the old school: to be faithful to the one you love, only one and forever till we die. To secure some financial stability for my family, i had to work very hard with no time to consider love for myself all these years. This being my first time loving, at my age, this blow is more painful for me to manage, I suppose. Pray I get over this successfully but I know it is not easy because I really considered him more than I considered for myself sacrificially because he "saved" me when i was suffering my mid-life crisis beginning of this year, for this i am eternally grateful. up2xgd 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8i8 Posted September 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 1 minute ago, i8i8 said: Thank you all for your kind encouragement. i am a simple straight forward person of the old school: to be faithful to the one you love, only one and forever till we die. To secure some financial stability for my family, i had to work very hard with no time to consider love for myself all these years. This being my first time loving, at my age, this blow is more painful for me to manage, I suppose. Pray I get over this successfully but I know it is not easy because I really considered him more than I considered for myself sacrificially because he "saved" me when i was suffering my mid-life crisis beginning of this year, for this i am eternally grateful. For once, i felt warmth, happiness and loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sagui_32 Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 That's life.. people in our lives come and go... we have to deal with it.. just let it out.. cry if u really have to.. but after that you have to move on... you just need to accept things as they were.. there's always a rainbow after the rain... cheer up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 It's not the end of the world. 50 is not as old as you may perceive. True, not all of us look like Chuan Do, but if you give it a shot, join a gym and be the best version of yourself, then age is just a number. That will also take your mind off stuff (serious training requires a lot of mental effort and discipline which leaves you little time to 胡思乱想). There's this late 40s early 50s guy who just joined my gym. Very dedicated, goes every evening. Obviously no prior gym training, but he's making good gains (ok, I've been stealing glances, lol!). If you don't let go of what is in your hands, how can you grab something else? If what is in your hand is already rotten, why don't you let it go? Cheer up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 In your 50s and falling in love with a young masseur. He "saved" you from mid-life crisis, and that win your heart and mind over. Then when he found someone supposedly better than you, he dumped you. This is a one-sided love thingy, move on my friend. Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noswilnat90 Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 I guess both of you met when you needed each other. He also thought that you were meant for each other. However, he found that this might not be the case anymore. This didn't mean that either of you was bad. In fact, both of you just need to move on. No one will be there forever. Just be glad there is such a memorable guy in your life before. wuyong 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jogger Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Go jogging, good for your heart. I am going off now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abang Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 I am amazed the charm of Karen Mok..莫文蔚。 She sounds pitchy most of the time but somehow she has that extra charisma to "hook" the listener with that voice.. 听起来有点走音但非常“疗伤”。。 旧的不去， 那新的怎么会来呢？ 三首歌 - 他不爱我， 阴天， 忽然之间。。送给情路不顺的兄弟/姐妹们。 唱到心坎里吧。。。 R_CF_L 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abang Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) More Mok ...when I fall out of love, I listen to her... 莫文蔚不够漂亮， 但很有魅力。。 如果我是直男， 看来我会找这样的女生/女神。 在歌词里，找到温馨提醒吧。。 。。因为我会想起你我害怕面对自己 我的意志 总被寂寞吞食 。。有种 真爱不是我的。。。有些幸福不是我的 。。爱是折磨人的东西 却又舍不得这样放弃 。。愿被你抛弃 就算了解而分离 不愿爱的没有答案结局 Edited September 9, 2017 by abang 中文字 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stop crying princess Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Move on, sounds absolutely one sided from the get-go. And he's with a married man now ? lol, I guess we can wish him the best of luck with that and get on with our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest -_- Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Dear Bro, Time will really make things easier. When the person I liked left me a couple of years ago, I too felt like it was the end of the world and that he would be THE ONLY person I loved. That was how I felt THEN. Over time, after the harsh emotions you are experiencing right now will fade off, you become more clear headed, and meet somebody else Do not despair. Take care and be strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonlittle Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 放下对他的感情，收起过去的回忆，整理自己的心情，就把他给忘掉吧。谁对谁错，谁放弃谁，再也不重要。重要的是：经一事，长一智。就把那段情看作是人生数十年里的另一个历练。 别埋怨什么，别哭泣太久，别失去希望。要重新出发，要爱你自己，要快乐。没有他，你也会幸福。加油！ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GuestLoveMature Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 8 hours ago, noswilnat90 said: I guess both of you met when you needed each other. He also thought that you were meant for each other. However, he found that this might not be the case anymore. This didn't mean that either of you was bad. In fact, both of you just need to move on. No one will be there forever. Just be glad there is such a memorable guy in your life before. 不在乎天长地久，只珍惜曾经拥有！Brings back all the memories of 发哥's Solvil et Titus ads. Millennials can scratch their heads wondering! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironrod Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Why don't u seek recourse in religon? It could provide u the much wisdom and comfort u require. If u want community love and a "invisible" GOD - u can look at Christianity (just don't tell them u gay as they may condemn u) If u want self-help and wisdom - u can look at Buddhism (but really u have to do a lot of self-help) Some ppl claims at your age u should be more mature but they forgotten as u have mention u have not lead your own life because your whole life was commited to your family. They couldn't believe nobody never fall in love till 50s. Well, I believe but as mention I won't pity u. I hope in your time of need your family will provide u the strength to live-on since u sacrifice much of your life to them. My last advice to you is, don't ever think anything u brought with money is call love. U paid for the masseur time, u are his client so he treat u nice and polite is super normal. I also won't be rude to my customer if he wants to be friendly with me. I am not being fake, but I just being polite and if he were to tell me his family problems, I will be super polite and listen but the most we become friends. Unless there is strong evidence of love - pls don't fool yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Own your life ... it's all on you ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 Cry and take your time to grieve over the relationship. Once the grieving is done, you will look back and be thankful for the experience. It may be painful but you will be a better, and hopefully wiser person from it. Relationships end for various reasons. Sometimes it just is. You've done your part. Let it be. adamsam, slayer2050 and totalitarianism 3 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanmeat Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 My favourite quote: Don't make someone yr priority when you are just an option. CKW and totalitarianism 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanmeat Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 May not be easy to apply. It takes one who knows how to love himself to understand it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedict5856 Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 first time is painful one. few more times, its a norm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah ling Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 On 9/9/2017 at 7:02 AM, i8i8 said: I am in my 50’s. Early this year, I was suffering from mid life crisis, i was feeling lost in life, I lost the will to live, I was hoping to die to end it all. My life was so empty and meaningless. Since graduation, I have been working 16 hour days 6 days a week to meet family living commitments and I suddenly realised I have never lived for my own happiness, never enjoyed love in my whole life. I met a popular masseur still operating in BW. We got on surprisingly well from the start although both parties were discreet and guarded in the beginning like most friendships. We were both so similar. We chat, we ate, we supported each other in our ups and down, and unknowingly, I opened my heart to him which was never opened and guarded for 50 over years. He is very precious to me, he was my soulmate, my lover, even a son which I never had, I cared for him very much and wish to give my best to him. He gave my joy, meaning, purpose and stability in life and I was sure he felt the same way about me. We shared our deepest secrets with each other. Even though it was late at night and I still had work to complete, when he wanted to meet me, I would drive almost 40 minutes to be with him till the wee morning to keep him company. Since I was single, I had even willed part of my assets to him because to me, he was an important part of my life, he saved me and gave me the will to live on. Recently things suddenly changed. He met someone else, a married man. He told me this person was interested in him and loved him very much so he wanted to try out this new relationship with him. The smallest things done by this new lover was such a big deal to him, whereas the same things which I had sacrificed much more to do for him in the past was nothing and not appreciated by him. In fact, he accused me of loving him more than an ordinary friend, that i chatted with him way too often when actually we have always chatted daily! I was devastated. My life crumbled, my heart pierced with a thousand arrows, I felt totally lost. I pained and griefed so much I cried uncontrollably till now. I have not cried for more than 30 years! How could someone just turn on turn off his love for me? Was it all fake from the start? I felt it wasn’t, I am sure it wasn’t. Now I am in a worse situation than before we met. My spirits are down and I have even lost my will to work. I am sinking, I am in depression. He told me to focus on my health and family and forget about him, but how can i? It has always been my principle and conviction in life to be sincere, honest, loyal and stedfast to all my friends no matter what happens, to give beyond and even sacrifice, so that my friends can always depend on me because I am a true friend to them, not a fair-weather friend, what more for my lover. I am unable to retract my love for him because I only love one person in my life. He will always be my only love. I will never open my heart to any one else in the future. I pray God will let me die soon to end this agony in my heart. I pray he is happier now. l do understand the pain and hurt in your heart as I just had one recently too..... Well it take time to recover back but on and off you will recall back again and again... Just let the time to take over your pain and hurt.... take care and hug hug...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 Your pain will stop If u start using your head, the big one, to think Instead of using your pole or hole to think. 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorzguy Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 TS, sorry to read about your encounter. As many have mentioned (and I agree totally) - only time will heal. Meanwhile, please remain nice and loving, to yourself. You need to love yourself more before you can love others. And there are many beautiful things in life. Each of us been thru shit, is how you choose to focus and handle that. Take care of yourself ok? Life is too short to have unhappy memories. CKW 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest concern Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 I do know how to read face reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Right? Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 On 9/9/2017 at 7:02 AM, i8i8 said: I am in my 50’s. Early this year, I was suffering from mid life crisis, i was feeling lost in life, I lost the will to live, I was hoping to die to end it all. The good thing is, you can still visit him and pay him to give you a sensual massage once in a blue moon and if possible, provided addded "service". Right? Tell him it is OK to be friend....... As for the outcome, let destiny decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clement_c Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 For the nasty comments above this or future*. You guys are kind of mean... he is already old and it is really scary to be alone at older age. Please stop adding salt and chilli padi on his wound. Old people not human or are their heart also old already that is why he cannot feel anything?? Please put yourself in his shoe as this situation is not what you want as well. Its happen on any time of your life but you will never know when until its happen. Not sure how long you have been with this guy but lets hope he is not cheating your feeling because he want you to spend money on him. I am sure you have went through many difficult problems and still survive. Now is just another harder one. You can have great buddies too instead of a boyfriend if you find it hard to get. For me, i have not been in a relationship before and the guys i met are always taking advantages of me. I know but i kept quiet. Its hurt but i believe i will find someone that really cherish me and someone i can trust. Finding a boyfriend will not give you your whole life happiness, only cover a part of it. Finding a soulmate(best friends/bros) also can be really happy to be with. Take care i8i8, happiness is in your hand. You have all my support sincerely. blowmenow 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolbriz Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 Dear TS, the fact that your failed attempt for your first relationship didn't land you in hatred is commendable as it could turn out worse if you allow emotion to take control in that direction. It will help if you could find someone to confide in, be it a close friend or someone you trust. Try not to keep it all to yourself as your thoughts may linger and you might find nights are too long to bear. As many have advised, time will heal but you got to find something (a life buoy) to hold on to before you see light. You need someone to pull you along as your will is weak. So please do not give up hope. Occupy yourself with activities. Would like to quote a Chinese saying, " 山穷水尽疑无路，柳花暗明又一村“. Be cool, like a breeze... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest concern Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 Its a sin to end life within own means.WHETHER it is infliciting pepper or salt,comments are always complex within an enquiry.Moreover this is a blowing boudaries of different judging panels.I am not saying is right to be hypocritical,or humble bragging.The world is just too small to be infinite of such small issue compared to what now others are weathering the storms,quakes and hurricane.Likewise,if one can't take the heat.Boy you got to get out of the kitchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SazNura Posted September 10, 2017 Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 I think it is narrow minded and very very stupid of TS to think that ending his life for a person who doesn't even care for him. Look around no human being is truly alone, you may have have family members/friends who truly care who will be devastated if you end your life stupidly . What will your death prove? your life is not for love alone, you can care for others without the dick or hole involved. Yes it is painful to have a love rejected. But move on, someone who could love you more might be waiting for you to open your heart. Even if you think human relationships is hopeless for , take a cause, teach young gays who been victimized and abused etc.If you have the fortune, the spend your assets on people who needs it. Care for the other elderly , save the lonely pets from being put to sleep. Heck even spend time as a caregiver to some poor family. Pour your energy something more worthwile than some massuer who don't give a shit about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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