MY HEART IS SO PAINFUL, I WISH TO DIE

[benedict5856]

are u dead yet?

Just loiter around Bedok reservior.

[i8i8]

1 hour ago, benedict5856 said:

are u dead yet?

Just loiter around Bedok reservior.

As much as i wish God will quickly take me home so that my pain will be short lived, i leave it to Him to decide.  But the pain and emotions are really not easy to bear this being my first time at my age.  May be you have had more experience but not me.   Thank you for your enquiring concern.

[i8i8]

29 minutes ago, Nightingale said:

https://9gag.com/gag/aee19wB

You are totally right!  

[benedict5856]

Just now, i8i8 said:

As much as i wish God will quickly take me home so that my pain will be short lived, i leave it to Him to decide.  But the pain and emotions are really not easy to bear this being my first time at my age.  May be you have had more experience but not me.   Thank you for your enquiring concern.

 

perhaps u are so drama. thats why he don't want u.

drama is for kids

[i8i8]

6 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

 

perhaps u are so drama. thats why he don't want u.

drama is for kids

Drama?  This is not drama.  Why are you trivialising what i am truly experiencing?  

[benedict5856]

Just now, i8i8 said:

Drama?  This is not drama.  Why are you trivialising what i am truly experiencing?  

 

u are drama. whatever u are doing now, its drama.

[i8i8]

1 minute ago, benedict5856 said:

 

u are drama. whatever u are doing now, its drama.

Maybe you can define what you mean by "drama".

[benedict5856]

Just now, i8i8 said:

Maybe you can define what you mean by "drama".

wanna die.

 

thats drama.

[i8i8]

1 minute ago, benedict5856 said:

wanna die.

 

thats drama.

Frankly my life collapsed when he wanted to severe ties.  Before that we were fine.  i could not work, i could not control my grief ... maybe you can on and off your feelings because you never commit your all but i did, more than all.  As they said, those who sacrifice more will feel it more.  Those who contributed nothing or almost none of your feelings will have not problem switching off. 

[benedict5856]

Just now, i8i8 said:

Frankly my life collapsed when he wanted to severe ties.  Before that we were fine.  i could not work, i could not control my grief ... maybe you can on and off your feelings because you never commit your all but i did, more than all.  As they said, those who sacrifice more will feel it more.  Those who contributed nothing or almost none of your feelings will have not problem switching off. 

 

whatever u have gone through, its common. 

Especially to those in their first relationship.

 

And thats drama.

[i8i8]

2 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

 

whatever u have gone through, its common. 

Especially to those in their first relationship.

 

And thats drama.

i see.  this being my first time commitment to a very close friend, a soulmate, and at my age, it is especially new to me and it is tough to bear.  Thank you again for enquiring.

Edited September 14, 2017 by i8i8

[benedict5856]

Just now, i8i8 said:

i see.  this being my first time and at my age, it is especially new to me and it is tough to bear.  Thank you again for enquiring.

 

Everyday, now, u feel u wanna die. Why the car on the road don't skid and killed u on the spot?

why nothing dropped from the sky and hit on yr head and die instantly?

Why can't i die in my sleep?

 

U will no mood to eat, sleep.

Things u used to like to do, now u don't enjoy it.

U will not feel like shower.

U wanna rot and die.

Everything is meaningless.

i got so much money in the bank for xxxx?!

 

U know how to cure? there is a solution.

 

its very simple.

 

FIND ANOTHER MAN. and another and another... till the time u find relationship not so important. If its over, u just find another.

 

Its the process of any relationship.

 

U will learn from it. U will start to put LESS INTO THE NEW RELATIONSHIP.

 

[abang]

This is my motto in life.

 

***

Aiyah, no man, no looks, no money, no health is the NORM.

Just tell yourself, I live for myself.

If God is willing, He will never let me die in misery.

 

After that stay in the hospital in early 2016, I am changed (hopefully for the better).

Now I try my best to look at the bright side of things - very 阿精神.

There is no need to worry because that is not the purpose of life.

We should indeed find happiness in every corner ...

 

If you are afraid of loneliness, then do something to kill the time.

If you are afraid of man-less-ness, go out and meet others.

No one should be punished into severe depression... go out of your comfort zone..

I backpack across several countries every now and then.. and get to know 小鲜肉。

Talk to young people and try my best to understand their thoughts.

After the interaction, I realised I have much to learn and I don't want to die!

[i8i8]

13 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

 

Everyday, now, u feel u wanna die. Why the car on the road don't skid and killed u on the spot?

why nothing dropped from the sky and hit on yr head and die instantly?

Why can't i die in my sleep?

 

U will no mood to eat, sleep.

Things u used to like to do, now u don't enjoy it.

U will not feel like shower.

U wanna rot and die.

Everything is meaningless.

i got so much money in the bank for xxxx?!

 

U know how to cure? there is a solution.

 

its very simple.

 

FIND ANOTHER MAN. and another and another... till the time u find relationship not so important. If its over, u just find another.

 

Its the process of any relationship.

 

U will learn from it. U will start to put LESS INTO THE NEW RELATIONSHIP.

 

Understand your point but i am not such a person.  i am the old fashioned type, always faithful to the person i love to the point of sacrificing my interest or myself.  i mean, that is what true bossom friends are like.  Actually i have always been guarded and not open my heart for so long until he came along and i unknowingly opened it.  The relationship was simply too warm and comfortable.  Frankly it shocked me that his lose impact me so much.  Now is emptiness and void.  i don't expect to open my heart again, or at least not for a very long time.  i will be even more guarded and fearful now.

Edited September 14, 2017 by i8i8

[LeanMature]

10 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

 

Everyday, now, u feel u wanna die. Why the car on the road don't skid and killed u on the spot?

why nothing dropped from the sky and hit on yr head and die instantly?

Why can't i die in my sleep?

 

U will no mood to eat, sleep.

Things u used to like to do, now u don't enjoy it.

U will not feel like shower.

U wanna rot and die.

Everything is meaningless.

i got so much money in the bank for xxxx?!

 

 

Sound like you have been through it before.  To add on, he don't have the mood to surf internet as well.  He kept everything to himself.

[benedict5856]

2 minutes ago, i8i8 said:

Understand your point but i am not such a person.  i am the old fashioned type, always faithful to the person i love to the point of sacrificing interest and myself.  Actually i have always been guarded and not open my heart for so long until he came along and i unknowingly opened it.  The relationship was simply too warm and comfortable.  Frankly it shocked me that his lose impact me so much.  Now is emptiness and void.  i don't expect to open my heart again, or at least not for a very long time.  i will be even more guarded and fearful now.

 

I am in my 40s, not much different from u. I grew up in kampong, catch spider, go stream catch fishes, life without technology. Playing 5 stones, police catch thief, zero-point can be happiest thing in life.

i know what u mean by old-fashioned.

I am not a slut.

If u have yr first relationship earlier, u will realise, old fashion don't or rarely exist in a gay relationship. Even if yr partner is old fashioned, it also won't last long.

And old fashioned mentality will change, after few relationships.

[i8i8]

1 minute ago, LeanMature said:

 

Sound like you have been through it before.  To add on, he don't have the mood to surf internet as well.  He kept everything to himself.

i kept everything to myself for a few days but needed an outlet to let out some grief hence i pen it here.

[benedict5856]

1 minute ago, LeanMature said:

 

Sound like you have been through it before.  To add on, he don't have the mood to surf internet as well.  He kept everything to himself.

of course i went through before.

never bath for 2 days. Never eat.

 

Edited September 14, 2017 by benedict5856

[i8i8]

2 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

of course i went through before.

never bath for 2 days. Never eat.

 

Was that all?  You are right, many things i used to like to do i cannot bring myself to do them now.  No interest.  i cut short my working time, no more OT because really the mood is not there or not continuously through the whole day.   Hope it gets better with time as most shared here.

[benedict5856]

Just now, i8i8 said:

Was that all?  You are right, many things i used to like to do i cannot bring myself to do them now.  No interest.  i cut short my working time, no more OT because really the mood is not there or not continuously through the whole day.   Hope it gets better with time as most shared here.

 

yes, it will get better and faster if u find another man.

go to a sauna.

it heals faster.

don't think of it as sex.

try 10 men. 

talk to those uncles. why are they there? for sex? purely sex?

u will understand what i mean.

 

And to die for a man who don't love u, thats stupidity.

No big deal over a man.

There are plenty around.

Only concern is - do u have the looks and money. U find love faster.

[i8i8]

7 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

 

I am in my 40s, not much different from u. I grew up in kampong, catch spider, go stream catch fishes, life without technology. Playing 5 stones, police catch thief, zero-point can be happiest thing in life.

i know what u mean by old-fashioned.

I am not a slut.

If u have yr first relationship earlier, u will realise, old fashion don't or rarely exist in a gay relationship. Even if yr partner is old fashioned, it also won't last long.

And old fashioned mentality will change, after few relationships.

i see.  This is very sad right, no real dependable relationship for the long run?

[benedict5856]

Just now, i8i8 said:

i see.  This is very sad right, no real dependable relationship for the long run?

 

Presently i have a bf in his 20s. 

I give him all his freedom he wants.

He don't flirt around. If being a flirt, i would win him in that.

If one day he leaves me, i just moved on with another.

 

But in our present situation, i think to find another man would be me more than him. hahaha

[i8i8]

2 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

 

Presently i have a bf in his 20s. 

I give him all his freedom he wants.

He don't flirt around. If being a flirt, i would win him in that.

If one day he leaves me, i just moved on with another.

 

But in our present situation, i think to find another man would be me more than him. hahaha

Where did you meet him?

[Guest From Growlr]

3 minutes ago, i8i8 said:

Where did you meet him?

 

[benedict5856]

I met him from Growlr 

[doncoin]

You need to invest in loving yourself first before you love another person. Being in a relationship with another person is a learning process. Each one is unique and there is no formula. However, what is consistent is you. You are the other half of a relationship. The first breakup is the most painful, but the pain will go away over time. Relationships fail for various reasons but when it does, learn something from it about yourself. Think of each breakup as a crystallization process on how you want your next relationship to be. At some point, you will have a clear picture of what and how you want it to be for your life. You grow to be a better person. Just don't be bitter and learn to love yourself more, so that when the right man comes along, you know who you are. 

 

My BF and I are coming to 6 years, and we are committed to making our relationship work. It is work. It does not just happen or fall down from the sky. You put effort and invest your time and energy. 

Edited September 14, 2017 by doncoin

[i8i8]

6 minutes ago, doncoin said:

You need to invest in loving yourself first before you love another person. Being in a relationship with another person is a learning process. Each one is unique and there is no formula. However, what is consistent is you. You are the other half of a relationship. The first breakup is the most painful, but the pain will go away over time. Relationships fail for various reasons but when it does, learn something from it about yourself. Think of each breakup as a crystallization process on how you want your next relationship to be. At some point, you will have a clear picture of what and how you want it to be for your life. You grow to be a better person. Just don't be bitter and learn to love yourself more, so that when the right man comes along, you know who you are. 

 

My BF and I are coming to 6 years, and we are committed to making our relationship work. It is work. It does not just happen or fall down from the sky. You put effort and invest your time and energy. 

Thank you for the advice.

[i8i8]

10 minutes ago, Nightingale said:

Different people have different reactions.  One tends to think that age seniority acts as a buffer.  But then again, we should not apply a blanket rule for all.  For the inexperienced, the setback will be greater, no matter how old you are.  The breakup with my first bf was not traumatic for me, perhaps because our relationship lasted only 3 months (though problems started after the first month).  But if the time period were longer, probably I would have invested deeper feelings.

 

Back in 2012, I met a China guy who had previously studied in Germany and had a German bf.  They were very attached to each other then.  Subsequently, the China guy got a wife and had a child but still kept in touch with his bf.  Suddenly, the German bf announced breaking off.  The China guy was so devastated that he lost sleep for weeks and could not concentrate on his work.  I told him if he continued like that, he would experience a mental breakdown.  He had no one to confide in.  Luckily he happened to meet me and I spent the whole night discussing with him.  He felt better after that and he slept for only a couple of hours.  Next morning, I took him to an acupuncturist who also applied needles on his head and cups (baguan) on his back for his insomnia.  On the way back to his city, he even bought a couple of sleep-inducing Chinese medicine just in case.  When I returned to Sg, I called him to inquire about his well-being.  He told me he had overcome his grief and could sleep soundly.  He did not consume any of the medicine he had bought.  That was a good sign.  He thanked me for lending him a ear as no one in the world could do that at that point in time when he most needed a confidante.

 

Was he young?  No, he was already 42.  So for i8i8, it is worse because the only recourse for him was to write in Blowing Wind.  But writing can never beat the spontaneous outpouring of emotions to someone listening to you.  As the speaker repeats the words over and over, he gets the load off his chest.  But getting empathy is just an immediate relief.  Time is the great healer.  Now is the transition period and a period of learning, followed by a period of acceptance.  And while time does its job of diluting grief, one should distract oneself by having other pursuits as suggested by many contributors here, so I won’t repeat them.

Thank you Nightingale for understanding what i am going through now.  Yes, being an introvert and because i have to bear the pain alone without worrying my family members, i could only let it out in BW.  Thank you all for your encouragement.  Actually the worst thing that is eating me up is how he could misunderstand me so much despite befriending each other for almost a year.  i had never let him down before.  it is as though he never knew me.  Well.... 

Edited September 14, 2017 by i8i8

[lekoopi]

1st cut is always the most painful, but time will heal. Talk to the right person, write it out, dont keep the sad feeling in the heart for too long. It will make you feel worst and it will affect your life and the people around you will also feel it. It is painful but you still need to walk out of that zone and climb out of that valley, one step at a time. You just need to keep moving forward.

 

I remembered when my ex left me 2 years ago, i was very sad, it affected my work and my manager noticed my performance & my mood. Teammate were concerned and worried about, then I realised people around me actually felt it.  

[Guest concern]

All that matter now is that the writter is not lying.To solve it or to dwell about it is in own hands.Put it even i saw someone loitering at bedok resevior,unsurpisingly even if it the writer.I will not even take a second look on why someone look so dreadful.Time to go,time to go.

[Guest Leshen]

for me I gone through hardship though I do have what it takes. Make it a worthy ride and just accept the inadequate change.since can't be the most pitiful might as well put a smile over tears.

[i8i8]

5 hours ago, Guest concern said:

All that matter now is that the writter is not lying.To solve it or to dwell about it is in own hands.Put it even i saw someone loitering at bedok resevior,unsurpisingly even if it the writer.I will not even take a second look on why someone look so dreadful.Time to go,time to go.

You must have had too many fake friends to so suspiciously like my friend.  i don't lie to my friends, what more to the people i care a lot about, cherish and love?  Is the world so full of fakes that people like me who are genuine are so hard to believe?  There are a few types of love:  besides the boy-boy or boy-girl erotic love, can't there be genuine soulmate love or friendship love where we are still very concern and caring for each other?  Why must all love be the erotic type?

Edited September 14, 2017 by i8i8

[i8i8]

6 hours ago, lekoopi said:

1st cut is always the most painful, but time will heal. Talk to the right person, write it out, dont keep the sad feeling in the heart for too long. It will make you feel worst and it will affect your life and the people around you will also feel it. It is painful but you still need to walk out of that zone and climb out of that valley, one step at a time. You just need to keep moving forward.

 

I remembered when my ex left me 2 years ago, i was very sad, it affected my work and my manager noticed my performance & my mood. Teammate were concerned and worried about, then I realised people around me actually felt it.  

Yes, all my family members and colleagues noticed the big change in me and they are genuinely concerned ..... but i have not told them even till this day although i am better able to sleep now.  Used to be the entire night cannot sleep but maybe too tired as the days went by, and able to be in control of my mood to speak normally for short periods of time when necessary but when alone, my mood sinks again because i lament the loss of my close friend.    

[Guest Concern]

Don't you just understand that before going for these type of massage.Its already comes in different flavour of technique,so what does erotic meant just above all these.I think you are just turning to not accept that you are going to be a Gold citizen.You are a liability to your own action and don't just think going to Bedok reservoir can solve it.There are still lots of beautiful river here.

[fab]

On 09/09/2017 at 7:02 AM, i8i8 said:

I am unable to retract my love for him because I only love one person in my life.  He will always be my only love.   I will never open my heart to any one else in the future.  I pray God will let me die soon to end this agony in my heart. . 

 

 

作茧自缚

[Guest Concern]

let's don't talk among ourself and let the writer had some space and inspiration,and write till any action.I am going to ask the questions.

[lohwpr]

i8i8, I know what u r going thru. Believe me when I say the pain that u r feeling now is legit and real. No amount of maturity, years of experiences and logical arguments or advice can ease your pain quickly if u truly love this person which in your case, I believe u do.

 

When u post your suffering in BW, what do u want to get out of it? Sympathy, listening ears, advice or..........

 

It's not helping very much, isn't it.....?

 

You still feel the wave of pain, anger, and tear continues to flow despite reading msgs from ppl that empathize your situation or worst,  getting into a debate with the ppl who judge u or spoke ill of u when they don't even know you personally. 

 

This is what u get when u posted stuff on the internet, some will love u for what u did or who u r and some will judge u or even hate u for the exact same thing. 

 

My advice to you is to quit reading this thread for now and take time to heal.

 

The good news is, the pain that u r feeling now, is only temporary; look forward to the day that you are liberated from this suffering. 

 

One day, you will be free. 

 

Trust me.

Edited September 15, 2017 by lohwpr

[Guest concern]

I think there are few things pondering by this writer is not a just a few patches of ashes you could write on the paper.It pulls out the intergrity and righteous mindset to have already known to be here,by all means to separate the ashes and dusts which the writer itself not intended to come across.So what if to stop reading,won't that picture of hollow images still linger upon,unstoppably wanting to feel and understand more to overcome the fears.Apparently,does it works or deserve to be alone when blowing thread is a all day 24 7 web.Am we right.....

[Guest I was surprised many times]

21 hours ago, i8i8 said:

i see.  This is very sad right, no real dependable relationship for the long run?

You think too much,  may be your bf is not as bad as you think.  It is too premature to jump into any conclusion even though apparently it may seem what you've  suspected about.  However, thru my personal experience,  the length of  time can play trick and bring out the the most desired outcome.  Instead of boiling  in pain, why not still harbour the belief of hope.  Life may not be perfect, but miracle do exist.

[Guest concern]

I bet that words are too light to been able to weight here.Miracle needs to be heavier than anyone can thought.From a mouth,it just sounded too full......ops saliva.

[Guest Heartbroken]

I just had been told by a partner two days ago that he doesn't love me. He can't give anything else. 

 

I can understand OP feelings. You feel a sense of bitterness, lost, helplessness, pain, hope that things can come around. 

 

My relationship lasted 3 months but I found out that he was playing with my feelings all the while until now. He didn't get past his ex and he still have feelings for him. He said that he can "perhaps" give me a friendship. 

 

It is painful because of the moments that we have shared. I love him a lot and when he message me saying that he doesn't love me, it cuts my heart deep. He said that he doesn't miss me too. 

 

I am also a romantic at heart. It's my first experience at relationships. I decided to write down my feelings and keep all his messages and his pictures in a folder in my pc. Because I am still emotionally hurt,  I will write out my feelings, what I suspect went wrong and what I have learned and improve on.

 

I still think of him but I know that time will heal. I am still on FB with him and assure him that I won't cut him off. That's the minimum that I can do. 

 

He wants friendship "maybe" in the near future. I do not know or think of it. My mind is just trying to be more logical and focus on moving forward. Yes I am not stable but I know that time will heal. 

 

I am just worried that I will still miss him after time have passed. He is a lovely guy but he is also an asshole who have hurt me deep. He said that he will discuss with me further because I have confronted him with accusations that I perceived to be correct. He hasn't replied to me. Or rather he doesn't care about me. Sudden 180 degree change. 

 

Try to do those things that I have shared. You will feel better. I did. Think logically. And most importantly, love yourself. No one will love you more than you do. 

 

And yes, the world doesn't revolves around him. It's his loss for not loving and dumping you. 

 

Tomorrow is another day. Jiayou! 

 

 

[Guest concern]

There are probably much to know about some passer by,or maybe more to come for these kind of fast love.I had that too,much that i also don't want it to be.Suming up for these period since a 20 plus man.I am finding lots of way to be fulfilled by the criteria of mutual understanding.However,it don't happened and seem to be so.It takes so much considerations and well measured tenderness.Alternatively It may even turns out to be sometimes,unappreaciated or uncertain responds.I think i already kind of get used to these kind of bondage,in which it may called it as game by some.I feel the tireness that why a pleasant guy like me,for so long period of times had to be so endurance.Endure each and everytime for being easy to talk with.whyyyy

[i8i8]

On 9/15/2017 at 12:16 PM, Guest Concern said:

Don't you just understand that before going for these type of massage.Its already comes in different flavour of technique,so what does erotic meant just above all these.I think you are just turning to not accept that you are going to be a Gold citizen.You are a liability to your own action and don't just think going to Bedok reservoir can solve it.There are still lots of beautiful river here.

Sorry i don't quite understand your English here.  Because i am a private person, i preferred home-based massage.  I only started going for massage end of last year because i started gym 4 years ago and my muscles were very tight due to weights and i wanted a male masseur to help stretch back those contracted muscles.  It's that simple.  

Edited November 13, 2017 by i8i8

[i8i8]

5 hours ago, lohwpr said:

i8i8, I know what u r going thru. Believe me when I say the pain that u r feeling now is legit and real. No amount of maturity, years of experiences and logical arguments or advice can ease your pain quickly if u truly love this person which in your case, I believe u do.

 

When u post your suffering in BW, what do u want to get out of it? Sympathy, listening ears, advice or..........

 

It's not helping very much, isn't it.....?

 

You still feel the wave of pain, anger, and tear continues to flow despite reading msgs from ppl that empathize your situation or worst,  getting into a debate with the ppl who judge u or spoke ill of u when they don't even know you personally. 

 

This is what u get when u posted stuff on the internet, some will love u for what u did or who u r and some will judge u or even hate u for the exact same thing. 

 

My advice to you is to quit reading this thread for now and take time to heal.

 

The good news is, the pain that u r feeling now, is only temporary; look forward to the day that you are liberated from this suffering. 

 

One day, you will be free. 

 

Trust me.

Hi lohwpr, thank you for your understanding.  Actually whether positive or negative criticism, i prefer to treat all as their concern for me and therefore share their advice with me because i have never had such a relationship and feeling before.  

Today, despite being behind time to complete my work, half the time i was unable to concentrate continously so i requested to end my work at 5.30pm and walked aimlessly in a shopping centre, had a meal all by myself but could not eat much.  

[i8i8]

4 hours ago, Guest concern said:

I think there are few things pondering by this writer is not a just a few patches of ashes you could write on the paper.It pulls out the intergrity and righteous mindset to have already known to be here,by all means to separate the ashes and dusts which the writer itself not intended to come across.So what if to stop reading,won't that picture of hollow images still linger upon,unstoppably wanting to feel and understand more to overcome the fears.Apparently,does it works or deserve to be alone when blowing thread is a all day 24 7 web.Am we right.....

Sorry again i cannot understand your point.  

[snowball]

"If someone doesn't want me it's not the end of the world. But if I do not want me the world is nothing but endings." 

[i8i8]

3 hours ago, Guest I was surprised many times said:

You think too much,  may be your bf is not as bad as you think.  It is too premature to jump into any conclusion even though apparently it may seem what you've  suspected about.  However, thru my personal experience,  the length of  time can play trick and bring out the the most desired outcome.  Instead of boiling  in pain, why not still harbour the belief of hope.  Life may not be perfect, but miracle do exist.

My soulmate told me himself to get out of his life.  it was not due to my suspicion.  Of course i hope to reconcile with him in the future if you wishes but i promised not to look him up, respecting his wish.

Edited September 15, 2017 by i8i8

[i8i8]

1 hour ago, Guest Heartbroken said:

I just had been told by a partner two days ago that he doesn't love me. He can't give anything else. 

 

I can understand OP feelings. You feel a sense of bitterness, lost, helplessness, pain, hope that things can come around. 

 

My relationship lasted 3 months but I found out that he was playing with my feelings all the while until now. He didn't get past his ex and he still have feelings for him. He said that he can "perhaps" give me a friendship. 

 

It is painful because of the moments that we have shared. I love him a lot and when he message me saying that he doesn't love me, it cuts my heart deep. He said that he doesn't miss me too. 

 

I am also a romantic at heart. It's my first experience at relationships. I decided to write down my feelings and keep all his messages and his pictures in a folder in my pc. Because I am still emotionally hurt,  I will write out my feelings, what I suspect went wrong and what I have learned and improve on.

 

I still think of him but I know that time will heal. I am still on FB with him and assure him that I won't cut him off. That's the minimum that I can do. 

 

He wants friendship "maybe" in the near future. I do not know or think of it. My mind is just trying to be more logical and focus on moving forward. Yes I am not stable but I know that time will heal. 

 

I am just worried that I will still miss him after time have passed. He is a lovely guy but he is also an asshole who have hurt me deep. He said that he will discuss with me further because I have confronted him with accusations that I perceived to be correct. He hasn't replied to me. Or rather he doesn't care about me. Sudden 180 degree change. 

 

Try to do those things that I have shared. You will feel better. I did. Think logically. And most importantly, love yourself. No one will love you more than you do. 

 

And yes, the world doesn't revolves around him. It's his loss for not loving and dumping you. 

 

Tomorrow is another day. Jiayou! 

 

 

Sorry to hear that and thank you for your positive advice.

[i8i8]

55 minutes ago, Guest concern said:

There are probably much to know about some passer by,or maybe more to come for these kind of fast love.I had that too,much that i also don't want it to be.Suming up for these period since a 20 plus man.I am finding lots of way to be fulfilled by the criteria of mutual understanding.However,it don't happened and seem to be so.It takes so much considerations and well measured tenderness.Alternatively It may even turns out to be sometimes,unappreaciated or uncertain responds.I think i already kind of get used to these kind of bondage,in which it may called it as game by some.I feel the tireness that why a pleasant guy like me,for so long period of times had to be so endurance.Endure each and everytime for being easy to talk with.whyyyy

So sad to hear that.  Are most people really that fake without consideration for others, only selfish think of themselves only?

Edited September 15, 2017 by i8i8

[Guest concern]

Actually is to test your mentality stable or not.I trying to say keep your case current.There are lots of nice ppl here 24 7 waiting for you.They want to hear from you.Pardon for that engalish.