Share Your Grindr / Jack'd Experience

[singalion]

What I find annoying more recently on the apps is that exponential use of the word "cuddle".

 

Often I don't understand it or the context.

 

Shall it be a nicer word for sex?

 

In most cases in my experience the other guy didn't seek some cuddling time in bed but just plain fun.

 

I think guys should try to use it lesser or to place it into the desired context.

 

 

[GayNomad]

On 12/15/2024 at 1:46 PM, Baredom said:

I get it though. Some people just don’t do well in open settings face to face. Through screens, we’re all able to freely express without worrying about how we look or sound or smell or even come across. In person, we have to think quick, look attractive, make sure there’s no vege stuck in our teeth. 

You can always meet the person face to face, have him sitting opposite u then continue to text each other without uttering a word.

 

On a side note, I think it's plain rude if a person meets up with u but spends more time texting (or just constantly starting at the phone) than actually having a proper conversation. It goes to show that the person is not interested to engage.

[Baredom]

11 minutes ago, GayNomad said:

You can always meet the person face to face, have him sitting opposite u then continue to text each other without uttering a word.

 

On a side note, I think it's plain rude if a person meets up with u but spends more time texting (or just constantly starting at the phone) than actually having a proper conversation. It goes to show that the person is not interested to engage.

Still fraught with problems because you can see his reactions. Imagine trying to be funny and realising he thought it lame coz he frowned and made a face when reading it. Die. 
 

Just to add, meeting in person is also daunting when the other person turns out to be such a hottie that he’s so absolutely distracting and you can’t even think straight. I concede that this probably affects less secure and confident people more but it can be incapacitating. Doubts creep in and before you know it, you can’t string a sentence together anymore. Hahaha. 
 

Phones should be banned when meeting someone in person. It is so rude when you even read a message let alone reply to it. Unless it’s a very important one and you’ve obtained the other person’s consent first. These days, some people take this too lightly. It’s a very telling sign of disrespect. 

[youdoyou]

On 12/15/2024 at 1:46 PM, Baredom said:

I get it though. Some people just don’t do well in open settings face to face. Through screens, we’re all able to freely express without worrying about how we look or sound or smell or even come across. In person, we have to think quick, look attractive, make sure there’s no vege stuck in our teeth. 

I had veggie stuck in my braces one time. The guy I was on the date with said nothing. I only found out later in the loo, and laughed about it.

Edited December 18 by youdoyou

[GayNomad]

Since I am into this topic, let me share some of my experiences of meeting ppl and the ones that I absolutely hate: 

 

1. Guys to who are glued to their phones. As mentioned in my previous post.

 

2. Touchy guys.

Met this guy once for a meal and he was so touchy in public. He was like touching my hands, patting my shoulders, stroking my arms and brushing my legs under the table.

I told him I was not comfortable being touch. But he just kept going on and on. It was creepy tbh.

 

3. Guys who cock tease.

Absolutely hate this kind of guys. And I had the unfortunate fate of meeting a few of them. Everything was well when we texted on the app, the guy somehow showed interest to date and was constantly cock teasing me over a period of time. Had dinner dates a few times and when I extended the invitation to get physical, the guy just backed out saying that he is ATTACHED/DATING SOMEONE and feels guilty if we got physical. 

Guys please, if u are already attached/dating, please be upfront about it and don't cock tease others and give them false hope. And the worse thing is they disappear for a while but come back weeks later saying how they miss the conversations and dates we had. Please just fxxk off.

[paddle_up]

3 hours ago, Baredom said:

Still fraught with problems because you can see his reactions. Imagine trying to be funny and realising he thought it lame coz he frowned and made a face when reading it. Die. 
 

Just to add, meeting in person is also daunting when the other person turns out to be such a hottie that he’s so absolutely distracting and you can’t even think straight. I concede that this probably affects less secure and confident people more but it can be incapacitating. Doubts creep in and before you know it, you can’t string a sentence together anymore. Hahaha. 
 

Phones should be banned when meeting someone in person. It is so rude when you even read a message let alone reply to it. Unless it’s a very important one and you’ve obtained the other person’s consent first. These days, some people take this too lightly. It’s a very telling sign of disrespect. 

I can resonate with those boys that have met you and in a loss of words or can’t really string a complete sentence. I reckoned I will be brain freeze as well with such a fine specimen sitting opposite me. 

[youdoyou]

22 hours ago, Baredom said:

Still fraught with problems because you can see his reactions. Imagine trying to be funny and realising he thought it lame coz he frowned and made a face when reading it. Die. 

I cracked a joke once with this guy and he gave an icy response. We were at the Esplanade terrace. I genuinely thought he was going to throw me over the ledge.

[deeperin]

On 12/14/2024 at 6:59 AM, youdoyou said:

I honestly don’t get guys who say they’re not good at making conversation. I mean, how do you expect to meet people if it’s going to be a one-way street? I understand being shy - I used to be a lot quieter when I was younger when meeting people for the first time. But you’d need to make an effort. It’s not uni where you need to ask smart questions - simple ones about someone’s day/week, what they do in their free time, where they’re travelling to, etc., would easily do the trick.

I used to be more reserved when I was younger. I was the primary school kid that would be shy to say hello to a neighbour when I bumped into them while returning home with my mum. A couple of years ago I started opening up more, and began feeling more comfortable with myself and how I relate to people. It’s been a journey. 

Edited December 19 by deeperin
edit

[youdoyou]

Just now, deeperin said:

I used to be more reserved when I was  younger. I was the primary school kid that would be shy to say hello to a neighbour when I bumped into them while returning home with my mum. A couple of years ago I started opening up more, and began feeling more comfortable with myself and how I relate to people. It’s been a journey. 

Me too. In a way, meeting guys helped to change the situation. Travelling did too, especially cos I mostly go it solo, so I “have to” talk to people.

[deeperin]

3 hours ago, youdoyou said:

Me too. In a way, meeting guys helped to change the situation. Travelling did too, especially cos I mostly go it solo, so I “have to” talk to people.

Meeting people during travels is such a joy in traveling. Crossing paths for a moment in time, and perhaps having an interaction enliven the travel experience. 
 

I stayed at a beach resort and the hotel manager was so friendly and approachable, which made it great.

Edited December 19 by deeperin
edit

[Baredom]

1 hour ago, youdoyou said:

I cracked a joke once with this guy and he gave an icy response. We were at the Esplanade terrace. I genuinely thought he was going to throw me over the ledge.

Now see, you wouldn’t have had that anxiety if you had just texted that joke to him, no?

 

if it’s any consolation, it brought out a guffaw from me. 

[Baredom]

I’m naturally reserved. But the nature of my job requires me to socialise and interact so I’ve learnt to do so. Yet, left to myself, I wouldn’t be chatting to anyone. On the other hand, if someone approached me and was engaging, I’d be fine. If someone amazing, be it looks or personality or charisma, spoke to me, I’d be somewhat disabled coz overwhelmed. 

[youdoyou]

11 minutes ago, Baredom said:

If someone amazing, be it looks or personality or charisma, spoke to me, I’d be somewhat disabled coz overwhelmed. 

I think the trick is to pay attention to what they’re saying; if they are spouting nonsense, you know they might not amount to much. But if the sex is good, I won’t complain.

[Notti]

Deleted the app long ago. Mostly catfishers and wasting time.

[Baredom]

39 minutes ago, youdoyou said:

I think the trick is to pay attention to what they’re saying; if they are spouting nonsense, you know they might not amount to much. But if the sex is good, I won’t complain.

Might not even make it to the sex part. Then again, I think the tolerance level is directly related to the hotness level. 

[youdoyou]

11 minutes ago, Baredom said:

Might not even make it to the sex part. Then again, I think the tolerance level is directly related to the hotness level. 

Oh if the convo happens first, sex might not happen. But if sex happens first and then he reveals himself to be a knucklehead, I know not to meet again.

[Baredom]

19 minutes ago, youdoyou said:

Oh if the convo happens first, sex might not happen. But if sex happens first and then he reveals himself to be a knucklehead, I know not to meet again.

Wah high standards. Good sex but no brain, reject. 😆

 

I think you’re the exception though - my impression is that Grindr was founded on and is driven by physical desires rather than intellectual pursuits.  

[youdoyou]

5 minutes ago, Baredom said:

Wah high standards. Good sex but no brain, reject. 😆

 

I think you’re the exception though - my impression is that Grindr was founded on and is driven by physical desires rather than intellectual pursuits.  

Oh no, I mean I still meet guys for sex during the first meet. If we have sexual chemistry, that’s great. And I’ve had that with guys who become regulars. We have good convos in and out of bed.

But I’d rather not meet guys who can’t carry a convo after the first hook up. If we literally meet just for sex and don’t go beyond “hi, how’s was your day/week”, that’s completely fine. But if they decide they want to meet for meals or coffee but are rubbish at making conversation, then no.

[abc_sg]

5 minutes ago, youdoyou said:

Oh no, I mean I still meet guys for sex during the first meet. If we have sexual chemistry, that’s great. And I’ve had that with guys who become regulars. We have good convos in and out of bed.

But I’d rather not meet guys who can’t carry a convo after the first hook up. If we literally meet just for sex and don’t go beyond “hi, how’s was your day/week”, that’s completely fine. But if they decide they want to meet for meals or coffee but are rubbish at making conversation, then no.

I think lots of guys are just wanna meet for sex and they don't wanna have any convo other than that. Like, they disappear after the sex or just text a few words, but then after some time they texted again asking to meet up, and the conversation just stop there. So ya, i just respect what they want and don't wanna push further for chitchat

[youdoyou]

5 minutes ago, abc_sg said:

I think lots of guys are just wanna meet for sex and they don't wanna have any convo other than that. Like, they disappear after the sex or just text a few words, but then after some time they texted again asking to meet up, and the conversation just stop there. So ya, i just respect what they want and don't wanna push further for chitchat

Yea i don’t either. It really depends on the vibe you share with someone you meet. 

[bwf15]

On 11/24/2024 at 2:54 AM, doncoin said:

While I was in Singapore, I had some guy chatting with me on Grindr and asked me take the conversation to Telegram. On Tele, after a while it became clear that he was trying to hook me on some stocks stuff by bragging how much he made that day etc. He stopped chatting with me once he realised that I have zero interest in whatever he was selling.  

This is the general workflow. Sometimes it is stocks, if not bitcoins. These are just signs of scams.

[singalion]

On 12/19/2024 at 10:05 AM, Baredom said:

Wah high standards. Good sex but no brain, reject. 😆

 

I think you’re the exception though - my impression is that Grindr was founded on and is driven by physical desires rather than intellectual pursuits.  

 

the question is rather, whether you search good sex or intellectual talk.

I don't think Grindr or any sex dating app is the best way to find guys ready for intellectual talk.

It might happen if you are willing to know the guy better in terms of meeting outside of the sex context.

 

But acting too intellectual on the dating apps might result in plenty of rejections or reservations to meet. It is probably not the recipe for finding good sex. haha

 

 

[singalion]

1 hour ago, bwf15 said:

This is the general workflow. Sometimes it is stocks, if not bitcoins. These are just signs of scams.

 

Best not to share the private numbers so fast. I tease the guys a bit further to check if they are just scams or really interested in sex.

 

The more perfect the profile looks with pics etc I am very cautious anyway... Mostly a sign of scammers.

I noted they like to put the age often around 35 to 45y.

 

[youdoyou]

17 hours ago, singalion said:

 

the question is rather, whether you search good sex or intellectual talk.

I don't think Grindr or any sex dating app is the best way to find guys ready for intellectual talk.

It might happen if you are willing to know the guy better in terms of meeting outside of the sex context.

 

But acting too intellectual on the dating apps might result in plenty of rejections or reservations to meet. It is probably not the recipe for finding good sex. haha

 

 

Not expecting an intellectual chat, as I said. “Hi, hello”, and wham bam thank you Sam is perfectly fine, as I mentioned. 
My point is if you want to connect beyond sex, be able to hold a basic convo. No one is asking to discuss astrophysics. 
Also, Grindr in Singapore is abysmal as it is so… although having said that, I’ve met some really cool guys on the app here and elsewhere.