What Are Gays Most Worrying Problem about growing old? + Anxiety of growing old (compiled)

[Guest swimming]

This reminds me. The other day when I went swimming...

 

I noticed this guy swimming next to me - he was doing laps non-stop, body looked very firm, athletic, tanned and smooth and I was admiring his body every time we passed. He was wearing jammers, swim cap and swimming-earphones. From his body and his speed, I expected him to be between 20-30's.

 

But when he finished his swim, he got out of the water and took off his cap - it's all sparse grey-white hair. I got a better look at his face, although he was not wrinkly, I was sure he was definitely in his 50's or maybe even 60's. His body was smooth, muscles were lean, the only thing on his body that hinted at his age, was his thin skin that stretched over his toned muscles.

 

I was in awe and very attracted (and I usually go for guys 25-35.) He looked aloof and that made him even sexier to me. (I'm quite sure he's straight but is aware of the gay admirers.)

 

So... guys, there is still hope. Just look after your body and health, and eat well. Be confident (that's so man), and don't look lusty (cos that's very turnoff). Definitely don't haunt the showers and restrooms (cos that's sick and creepy)

[fab]

50s is the new 30s.

 

Some people looks better in their 50s than 30s. Zheng geping, cd, Aaron, Andy lau etc.

[Zealouslogue]

4 minutes ago, fab said:

50s is the new 30s.

 

Some people looks better in their 50s than 30s. Zheng geping, cd, Aaron, Andy lau etc.

Zhang Geping buff and hunky AF. 

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Guest True Meaning said:

TS meant that if you are older, both in look and age, then game over!

 

7 hours ago, Guest MRT toilet cleaner said:

Go visit Clementi MRT toilet and the anxiety of TS is not unfounded.

 

8 hours ago, Guest 小熊叔 said:

Sigh. Even though I'm still well maintained and have no problem getting hookups, at times I'm feeling the same anxiety.

 

It seems that the anxiety about old age is centered around not getting sex and not being sexually attractive.

 

Is sex the most important thing in our life,  the primary reason for being alive?  It might be in young people, from puberty until the 30s perhaps...

One factor we don't consider is that with advanced age, the interest, the desire, the need for sex declines as we age.

I am not there yet, but in ten years sex may have dropped very low in importance,  and then if I don't get it up or "game is over", why should I worry?

 

I used to be a smoker.  There was nothing as delicious as to light a cigarette after a good meal, and my brain was the most creative while I smoked.  I would have been horrified at losing these gifts from smoking.  It takes some minutes to smoke a cigarette, and this makes such high to last longer than an orgasm.  TODAY, about 40 years after I smoked my last cigarette, I couldn't care less about the pleasures of smoking.  I still remember them, and something may flash in my mind seeing someone light up after a meal,  but I am infinitely grateful to the circumstance (the birth of my son) that made us parents quit.  Now I am as creative and enjoy after a meal as much as when I smoked.

 

Should I feel sorry for those who don't have the pleasure of smoking?  NO WAY!   Should you feel sorry for me in ten years if I don't have the pleasure of sex?  NO WAY!

 

One difference between quitting smoking and losing the interest in sex is that there is no effort of withdrawal from sex.  The interest just vanishes,  and while there is still something left there there is no "urge", so we can perfectly satisfy ourselves with some masturbation while porn watching,  some creative sexual writing or whatever.  

 

I think that a good formula for aging gracefully without anxiety is this:  live judiciously before old age by accumulating enough wealth to remain financially independent until death, and by preserving health and good looks for as long as possible to keep playing the game well into the 70s.  By then sexual urges may have eased and it is good enough to mostly play with oneself.  Once really old, we can forget about sex, youthfulness and anything related to that, and concentrate on preserving health, while cultivating intellectual and emotional activities. 

.

 

 

Edited December 28, 2019 by Steve5380

[Guest 小熊叔]

27 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

 

 

It seems that the anxiety about old age is centered around not getting sex and not being sexually attractive.

 

Is sex the most important thing in our life,  the primary reason for being alive?  It might be in young people, from puberty until the 30s perhaps...

One factor we don't consider is that with advanced age, the interest, the desire, the need for sex declines as we age.

I am not there yet, but in ten years sex may have dropped very low in importance,  and then if I don't get it up or "game is over", why should I worry?

 

I used to be a smoker.  There was nothing as delicious as to light a cigarette after a good meal, and my brain was the most creative while I smoked.  I would have been horrified at losing these gifts from smoking.  It takes some minutes to smoke a cigarette, and this makes such high to last longer than an orgasm.  TODAY, about 40 years after I smoked my last cigarette, I couldn't care less about the pleasures of smoking.  I still remember them, and something may flash in my mind seeing someone light up after a meal,  but I am infinitely grateful to the circumstance (the birth of my son) that made us parents quit.  Now I am as creative and enjoy after a meal as much as when I smoked.

 

Should I feel sorry for those who don't have the pleasure of smoking?  NO WAY!   Should you feel sorry for me in ten years if I don't have the pleasure of sex?  NO WAY!

 

One difference between quitting smoking and losing the interest in sex is that there is no effort of withdrawal from sex.  The interest just vanishes,  and while there is still something left there there is no "urge", so we can perfectly satisfy ourselves with some masturbation while porn watching,  some creative sexual writing or whatever.  

 

I think that a good formula for aging gracefully without anxiety is this:  live judiciously before old age by accumulating enough wealth to remain financially independent until death, and by preserving health and good looks for as long as possible to keep playing the game well into the 70s.  By then sexual urges may have eased and it is good enough to mostly play with oneself.  Once really old, we can forget about sex, youthfulness and anything related to that, and concentrate on preserving health, while cultivating intellectual and emotional activities. 

.

I'm surprised you don't know the importance of sex when you openly advocate open relationship.

 

Like it or not, sex is a primary function of our body. If we lose that function, our body will automatically start to deteriorate because it's not producing the vital hormones that keep our body in healthy balance. 

 

If you look at those senile old men sitting around the whole day staring into emptiness, they have lost the fire in their lives and as men we know somehow that fire is regulated by the fire in our groin. We know that after good sex, there's that unmistakable feel good that put the spring in our step.

 

Amongst old friends we are bashful to talk about our sex lives. But amongst total strangers, we can be direct right down to anal sex so we also talked about our sex lives. One of the things that old man asked me was whether I still have morning hardon. Luckily I still have that and quite strong too. But that moment when he was sucking me, my hardon was a bit soft.

 

Then he parted my legs, I knew what he wanted to do to me and I told him don't go too far. He told me to relax and he'll test sometime to show me. I still refused to open up, he said no need to be shy he can tell. It's those face thing, I reserved only for the special few. Somehow he managed to wiggle a finger in. His wiggly finger found my g-spot and soon my hardon was raging hard and leaking. 

 

So basically my sexual function has weakened hence I needed more stimulation than before. He claimed that my prostate was blocked up and he's clearing it for me, that's why my hardon was so strong. Ahem, there's also another way to clear the blockage...

 

Anyway, as gays we still want to be attractive to others even if we didn't have sex with them. Masturbation is okay but intimacy with another person has another higher level. I used to scare people off by telling them, " oi, you know uncle how old already or not? don't play play." 

 

But now, it's a weaker, " old man you still want ah?" The worse part is my tone(they told me) like I'm so flattered and willing. I myself don't  know it but it shows. Having a man fucking my lights out is at least better than masturbation and nice feeling that I'm desirable. I know since I've been top before. But then I also know that superior feeling of screwing another man so I recognize that smug grin on his face as parted my legs and played with my body while looking into my eyes to see that I'm under his control and I coyly avert my eyes in deference.

 

Sigh, I'm so ambivalent about being old that I can't even express my thoughts properly here.

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, Guest 小熊叔 said:

I'm surprised you don't know the importance of sex when you openly advocate open relationship.

 

Like it or not, sex is a primary function of our body. If we lose that function, our body will automatically start to deteriorate because it's not producing the vital hormones that keep our body in healthy balance. 

 

If you look at those senile old men sitting around the whole day staring into emptiness, they have lost the fire in their lives and as men we know somehow that fire is regulated by the fire in our groin. We know that after good sex, there's that unmistakable feel good that put the spring in our step.

--------

Sigh, I'm so ambivalent about being old that I can't even express my thoughts properly here.

 

My advocacy of open relationships has more to do with the importance of relationships than with the importance of sex.

 

The absolute importance of sex has fallen with the rise in overpopulation. 

The relative importance of sex in our bodies is something where you don't have the complete picture. If you had a little more knowledge of medical practice and knowledge of old men you would realize that losing the sex function does not necessarily make old men lose their fire or a spring in their steps.

 

There is a high incidence of prostate cancer among older men.  In some cases to avoid metastasis of the cancer, patients receive, in addition to their primary treatment of surgery or radiation, an ADT (Androgen Depravation Therapy).  Androgen here means testosterone.  Modern drugs can cause chemical castration, the reduction of testosterone to castrate levels, without major side effects.  Prostate cancer stops growing in the absence of testosterone, but this benefit decays with time. A prophylactic ADT lasts for about two years.  In more severe cases, to try to eliminate the spread cancer the treatment can last many years, sometimes intermittently forever.  These men have zero sexual function for long times.  Yet the lack of testosterone is not serious for a year or two, and the loss of muscle mass can be made up with proper weight lifting. These men recover well if the treatment is not too long, and they don't become senile invalids.

 

You are right that sex is a contributor to good health and satisfaction at an advanced age,  the prostate gland benefits from many orgasms,  and one can say perhaps that "use it or lose it". But there is no data on the importance of anal sex.  Nothing indicates that being fucked is healthy in old age.   Orgasms yes,  and if you have a minimum of intelligence you find ways to get off by yourself.   The heavenly superiority of sexual intimacy is a rich material for those who write erotic stories for their readers.  In reality, since the beginning of times humanity only needs a sperm to come in contact with an egg to have a human baby come alive.

.

 

Edited December 29, 2019 by Steve5380

[Guest Guest]

8 hours ago, Guest 小熊叔 said:

I'm surprised you don't know the importance of sex when you openly advocate open relationship.

 

Like it or not, sex is a primary function of our body. If we lose that function, our body will automatically start to deteriorate because it's not producing the vital hormones that keep our body in healthy balance. 

 

If you look at those senile old men sitting around the whole day staring into emptiness, they have lost the fire in their lives and as men we know somehow that fire is regulated by the fire in our groin. We know that after good sex, there's that unmistakable feel good that put the spring in our step.

 

Amongst old friends we are bashful to talk about our sex lives. But amongst total strangers, we can be direct right down to anal sex so we also talked about our sex lives. One of the things that old man asked me was whether I still have morning hardon. Luckily I still have that and quite strong too. But that moment when he was sucking me, my hardon was a bit soft.

 

Then he parted my legs, I knew what he wanted to do to me and I told him don't go too far. He told me to relax and he'll test sometime to show me. I still refused to open up, he said no need to be shy he can tell. It's those face thing, I reserved only for the special few. Somehow he managed to wiggle a finger in. His wiggly finger found my g-spot and soon my hardon was raging hard and leaking. 

 

So basically my sexual function has weakened hence I needed more stimulation than before. He claimed that my prostate was blocked up and he's clearing it for me, that's why my hardon was so strong. Ahem, there's also another way to clear the blockage...

 

Anyway, as gays we still want to be attractive to others even if we didn't have sex with them. Masturbation is okay but intimacy with another person has another higher level. I used to scare people off by telling them, " oi, you know uncle how old already or not? don't play play." 

 

But now, it's a weaker, " old man you still want ah?" The worse part is my tone(they told me) like I'm so flattered and willing. I myself don't  know it but it shows. Having a man fucking my lights out is at least better than masturbation and nice feeling that I'm desirable. I know since I've been top before. But then I also know that superior feeling of screwing another man so I recognize that smug grin on his face as parted my legs and played with my body while looking into my eyes to see that I'm under his control and I coyly avert my eyes in deference.

 

Sigh, I'm so ambivalent about being old that I can't even express my thoughts properly here.

 

Aiyah... Just ignore that troll la...

[koolkai]

On 12/27/2019 at 2:14 PM, Guest Aging said:

A couple strand of grey hair on my brow is noticeable.  My neck showed turtleish wrinkles  when I swallowed food otherwise it is smooth.  No moisturiser can  save what I saw.  There were few darks spots on my hand.  I am scared.  I used  to look youthful until last year.  Now it seems aging started very fast.  Did i use the wrong  skin care products or having exposed under the sun for too long?  I hated aging.  I am not ready emotionally.  I wanted to look young and be accepted.  Heard too many old men being rejected everywhere and in every part of our society. Our society is not ready and unprepared for old age.   I don't want to be part of that group of old men.  I am depressed to think that my life is over and nothing can reverse my youth. We are all depreciating asset like our Hdb.

 

Don't worry! It's ok getting old. You are showing signs of aging. It is inevitable! Nothing will be able to reverse your youth as it is part and parcel of life!

[Guest 小熊叔]

21 minutes ago, koolkai said:

 

Don't worry! It's ok getting old. You are showing signs of aging. It is inevitable! Nothing will be able to reverse your youth as it is part and parcel of life!

Sometimes being pc doesn't help people's real anxiety. It's so insincere, pedestrian and condescending. 誰了等於沒有說。

[fab]

Both of  you are not wrong. Hence I ask ts for his age.

 

Imagine if one is already 70s but still having entirely black hair with a wrinkled face. If you wanna Botox, don't go overboard looking too plastic.  

 

Also, very important is the overall package. Be neat, be fit and be healthy looking. Age gracefully with dignity.

Edited December 29, 2019 by fab

[Guest 小熊叔]

9 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

My advocacy of open relationships has more to do with the importance of relationships than with the importance of sex.

 

The absolute importance of sex has fallen with the rise in overpopulation. 

The relative importance of sex in our bodies is something where you don't have the complete picture. If you had a little more knowledge of medical practice and knowledge of old men you would realize that losing the sex function does not necessarily make old men lose their fire or a spring in their steps.

 

There is a high incidence of prostate cancer among older men.  In some cases to avoid metastasis of the cancer, patients receive, in addition to their primary treatment of surgery or radiation, an ADT (Androgen Depravation Therapy).  Androgen here means testosterone.  Modern drugs can cause chemical castration, the reduction of testosterone to castrate levels, without major side effects.  Prostate cancer stops growing in the absence of testosterone, but this benefit decays with time. A prophylactic ADT lasts for about two years.  In more severe cases, to try to eliminate the spread cancer the treatment can last many years, sometimes intermittently forever.  These men have zero sexual function for long times.  Yet the lack of testosterone is not serious for a year or two, and the loss of muscle mass can be made up with proper weight lifting. These men recover well if the treatment is not too long, and they don't become senile invalids.

 

You are right that sex is a contributor to good health and satisfaction at an advanced age,  the prostate gland benefits from many orgasms,  and one can say perhaps that "use it or lose it". But there is no data on the importance of anal sex.  Nothing indicates that being fucked is healthy in old age.   Orgasms yes,  and if you have a minimum of intelligence you find ways to get off by yourself.   The heavenly superiority of sexual intimacy is a rich material for those who write erotic stories for their readers.  In reality, since the beginning of times humanity only needs a sperm to come in contact with an egg to have a human baby come alive.

.

 

I don't confess to know everything, that's why I'm having anxiety. That's why I'm doing and trying.

 

But your know it all attitude and rudeness just turn people off. You're so full of your own shit. Your excuse is you don't sugarcoat the truth but there's always more civil ways to say even the hardest truth. You are so immature in human interactions, I wonder if you're normal at all. 

If a doctor just rudely proclaim, " Your father just died, just get over it, everybody dies." He's not qualified to be a doctor. In the same way, your kind of attitude is not fit to be human.

 

Your distaste for anal sex doesn't negate the fact that physically it's the closest physical contact between 2 men. Sometimes I wanted someone so much that kissing and cuddling is not enough, recently I feel that I wanted him inside me, I want him to take me physically and the natural emotions of being fucked. It may not be making love, but for goodness sake, let me just enjoy that precious moments. I may regret it, I may hate myself for being so cheap but the person that I like enough to do it with don't happen often.

[Guest Yuck]

On 12/27/2019 at 2:14 PM, Guest Aging said:

A couple strand of grey hair on my brow is noticeable.  My neck showed turtleish wrinkles  when I swallowed food otherwise it is smooth.  No moisturiser can  save what I saw.  There were few darks spots on my hand.  I am scared.  I used  to look youthful until last year.  Now it seems aging started very fast.  Did i use the wrong  skin care products or having exposed under the sun for too long?  I hated aging.  I am not ready emotionally.  I wanted to look young and be accepted.  Heard too many old men being rejected everywhere and in every part of our society. Our society is not ready and unprepared for old age.   I don't want to be part of that group of old men.  I am depressed to think that my life is over and nothing can reverse my youth. We are all depreciating asset like our Hdb.

 

You have to pay the price for getting tanned to look good when younger, now all the ugly wrinkles, crows feet and black spots will start appearing and become very obvious. It's irreversible and hideous.

[Garyl]

Sleep early and reduce unnecesssary loxxxxng sessions. 😈

Lesser anxiety.. 

Make more $ too.. at least you have 1 more weapon to use when you are old.. 

[Guest Guest]

16 minutes ago, Garyl said:

Sleep early and reduce unnecesssary loxxxxng sessions. 😈

Lesser anxiety.. 

Make more $ too.. at least you have 1 more weapon to use when you are old.. 

 

What is " loxxxxng sessions"? 

[fab]

14 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

What is " loxxxxng sessions"? 

 

let me guess.

 

Lots Of XXXiNG sessions?

[Guest Air Supply]

Sure got anxiety.  No anxiety is a bluff. 

 

When you were a little boy, the world paid so much love on you. They Goo Goo at you here and there, and told everyone you are so adorable.

 

When you became a teenager, you wanted everything a parents could afford to give you without needing you to struggle.  You wanted computer game, next day they were on your table,  you wanted best cuisine, they will find time to book one...nothing can stop you from wanting this and that  You are still getting their best attention - the mama or papa boy.

 

When you entered army...gosh..if you have a maid, she probably will wash all your barang barang for you.  Your hormones give you the upper hand to get sex easily because you have the asset - youth.  Old men will oogle at you,  lau auntie will say call you "Ah Boy"  or "Xiao Yeng Dao".  There is no lack of courtship, suitors and even job opportunity to lure your interest because of your youth. Employers are willing to give you all the opportunity out there because not of your potential or experience, but your youth.

 

If you are straight, you probably will be having love relationship by then.  If you are gay,  marriage is not your cup of tea and you decided to either pursue your study or other form of interest...cruising comes only later - probably in your mid 20s, but still you have no lack of everything you crave in this age group.

 

Than when you reached 30,  you started to compare.  You wanted independence, you are probably in love.  Those straight people would have got married or have kids by then.  As for gay, you wanted sex, cruising, apps, chatroom and eventually you wanted to have your own house....to live life of your own.  You are still considered mid-youth, still not so bad, got market value.  People still look for those your age, half matured, half youthful.  Half experienced , half naive. Very wanting.

 

When you reached 40..desperation sets in.  You are not so willing to announe your age - probably shy or still in denial.   Relatives or colleagues wondered why you remain Single.  It was a year of struggle, career crisis, identity crisis...and you eventually have to face reality by looking around you - those who once loved you have aged considerably.  Your friends all distanced you and familiar faces were just stranger.  People may not recognise you or you can't recognise them.   Luckily,  some people still can get away at age 40 onwards, due to parental youthful genes.  You tired to conceal as much as possible,  but also desperately cruising to find the other permanent half.  Oogachaga will reached out to this group, for other form of social activity as to help them mingle among themselves because they know, it is either now or never as your progress into the following age...

 

When you reached 50...that is probably when TS began his anxiety. Times began to travel very fast here,  each year means a drastic change.  51 is not the same as 52 nor was it 53 and you can see how each year could change your phsyical look quite drastically,  Health supplment or skin care product is the only hope left to contain the aging at this stage both the straight and gay world.

 

When you reached 60,  nobody is going to "goo goo" at you, but a loud "BOO BOO" instead.  That will be a clear sign of society stigma against aging.  People at this age will face lots of policy issues - inflation, price,  job rejection,  gay rejection, housing (if you haven't got one yet),  friendship issues.  You can see your line between this and the teenager group are stark..  You can't be with the younger ones without being mistaken as a phedophile in public eyes. Even when a relationship is non-sexual.   Health...may suddently took a turn and change your lifestyle forever.  Let's pray, you are still strong and healthy at this age group.

 

At 70....things may slowly dis-integrate.  Some people can become crazy, completely lonely and pondered about many things in the past.  They may not think about future anymore, though they crave heavily for companiionship and even sexual element.  There will be lots of reminisce, and living in the current form of existence - one day at a time.  Simply, waiting, and spending most of their time in the neighbourhood - staring at passer bys or drinking Kopi-O siew dai and talking loudly about themselves and most likely complaint about many things.   NO more strenous activities like jogging, gyming or fucking..

 

80....probably the same as 70,  but your movement tend to be a little slow and retarded.   Many times, you wished there is help in some form  coming - to bring you from one place to another or dealing with basic hi-tech equipment, even plumbing issues at home....etc  as we moved towards becoming a cashless society or a smart nation...

 

90....You are completely retired from all form of activities and eat simply - one or two form of simple meal.  Nothing happen outside is going to bother you much. Even if there is an earthquake at your doorstep, you probably won't be so  bothered by it and let the world take care of itself.  Your behavior may just proved you are counting your year...one at a time and not afraid of eventuality.

 

@100......Steve5380 may still be around to tell BW members that it is unlikely to be called game over at this age, provided he has the energy to lift his fingers and type on his keyboards.  

 

110......Anyone want to live longer from here?

 

I rest my case.

 

 

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, Guest 小熊叔 said:

I don't confess to know everything, that's why I'm having anxiety. That's why I'm doing and trying.

 

But your know it all attitude and rudeness just turn people off. You're so full of your own shit. Your excuse is you don't sugarcoat the truth but there's always more civil ways to say even the hardest truth. You are so immature in human interactions, I wonder if you're normal at all. 

If a doctor just rudely proclaim, " Your father just died, just get over it, everybody dies." He's not qualified to be a doctor. In the same way, your kind of attitude is not fit to be human.

 

Your distaste for anal sex doesn't negate the fact that physically it's the closest physical contact between 2 men. Sometimes I wanted someone so much that kissing and cuddling is not enough, recently I feel that I wanted him inside me, I want him to take me physically and the natural emotions of being fucked. It may not be making love, but for goodness sake, let me just enjoy that precious moments. I may regret it, I may hate myself for being so cheap but the person that I like enough to do it with don't happen often.

 

I had expected that my posts would relieve some of your anxiety by making the case that old age is not necessarily undesirable, and depending on how you live your life, it can be a period of calm and happiness.  But your sudden turn to the insulting may indicate that your anxiety is more severe than imagined, and more hurtful... to others!

 

The solution is simple:  ignore my posts and live your life the way you want.  Me, I will ignore your posts and proceed with my satisfying life 

 

[Guest guest]

Think TS not scare getting old, it should be the anxiety that make TS scare getting old. If you have anxiety, you would scare this and scare that.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Air Supply said:

<... times of blissful youth, no major conflicts here....😄>

 

When you reached 50...that is probably when TS began his anxiety. Times began to travel very fast here,  each year means a drastic change.  51 is not the same as 52 nor was it 53 and you can see how each year could change your phsyical look quite drastically,  Health supplment or skin care product is the only hope left to contain the aging at this stage both the straight and gay world.

 

When you reached 60,  nobody is going to "goo goo" at you, but a loud "BOO BOO" instead.  That will be a clear sign of society stigma against aging.  People at this age will face lots of policy issues - inflation, price,  job rejection,  gay rejection, housing (if you haven't got one yet),  friendship issues.  You can see your line between this and the teenager group are stark..  You can't be with the younger ones without being mistaken as a phedophile in public eyes. Even when a relationship is non-sexual.   Health...may suddently took a turn and change your lifestyle forever.  Let's pray, you are still strong and healthy at this age group.

 

At 70....things may slowly dis-integrate.  Some people can become crazy, completely lonely and pondered about many things in the past.  They may not think about future anymore, though they crave heavily for companiionship and even sexual element.  There will be lots of reminisce, and living in the current form of existence - one day at a time.  Simply, waiting, and spending most of their time in the neighbourhood - staring at passer bys or drinking Kopi-O siew dai and talking loudly about themselves and most likely complaint about many things.   NO more strenous activities like jogging, gyming or fucking..

 

80....probably the same as 70,  but your movement tend to be a little slow and retarded.   Many times, you wished there is help in some form  coming - to bring you from one place to another or dealing with basic hi-tech equipment, even plumbing issues at home....etc  as we moved towards becoming a cashless society or a smart nation...

 

90....You are completely retired from all form of activities and eat simply - one or two form of simple meal.  Nothing happen outside is going to bother you much. Even if there is an earthquake at your doorstep, you probably won't be so  bothered by it and let the world take care of itself.  Your behavior may just proved you are counting your year...one at a time and not afraid of eventuality.

 

@100......Steve5380 may still be around to tell BW members that it is unlikely to be called game over at this age, provided he has the energy to lift his fingers and type on his keyboards.  

 

110......Anyone want to live longer from here?

 

I rest my case.

 

 

 

The early youthful life you described is one I often envied in others because mine was different  (so I left it out of your post)

 

At 50 and some years after divorce my life in the gay scene started.   This was nearly 27 years ago. Enough to catch up with other gays.

 

Now in my later 70s I have not disintegrated but I expect to get my Aikido black belt in a year or two.  But my four weekly workouts in the gym have become less strenuous.

 

In my 80s I plan to continue with tourism, not too much because it can become repetitive.  On the other hand, I will have gained plenty of patience.  A main interest will be health, all the possible moves to remain healthy.

 

In my 90s I plan to take care of myself, make my life as easy as possible and counting on great advances in geriatric life like self-driving cars, automation in the home.

 

At 100 I want my journey to be over.  Simple and fast.  The last event should be the celebration of my 100th birthday with my sister, who plans to live to 104 to be there with me.  

.

 

Edited December 29, 2019 by Steve5380

[kidster]

1 hour ago, Guest Air Supply said:

Sure got anxiety.  No anxiety is a bluff. 

 

When you were a little boy, the world paid so much love on you. They Goo Goo at you here and there, and told everyone you are so adorable.

 

When you became a teenager, you wanted everything a parents could afford to give you without needing you to struggle.  You wanted computer game, next day they were on your table,  you wanted best cuisine, they will find time to book one...nothing can stop you from wanting this and that  You are still getting their best attention - the mama or papa boy.

 

When you entered army...gosh..if you have a maid, she probably will wash all your barang barang for you.  Your hormones give you the upper hand to get sex easily because you have the asset - youth.  Old men will oogle at you,  lau auntie will say call you "Ah Boy"  or "Xiao Yeng Dao".  There is no lack of courtship, suitors and even job opportunity to lure your interest because of your youth. Employers are willing to give you all the opportunity out there because not of your potential or experience, but your youth.

 

If you are straight, you probably will be having love relationship by then.  If you are gay,  marriage is not your cup of tea and you decided to either pursue your study or other form of interest...cruising comes only later - probably in your mid 20s, but still you have no lack of everything you crave in this age group.

 

Than when you reached 30,  you started to compare.  You wanted independence, you are probably in love.  Those straight people would have got married or have kids by then.  As for gay, you wanted sex, cruising, apps, chatroom and eventually you wanted to have your own house....to live life of your own.  You are still considered mid-youth, still not so bad, got market value.  People still look for those your age, half matured, half youthful.  Half experienced , half naive. Very wanting.

 

When you reached 40..desperation sets in.  You are not so willing to announe your age - probably shy or still in denial.   Relatives or colleagues wondered why you remain Single.  It was a year of struggle, career crisis, identity crisis...and you eventually have to face reality by looking around you - those who once loved you have aged considerably.  Your friends all distanced you and familiar faces were just stranger.  People may not recognise you or you can't recognise them.   Luckily,  some people still can get away at age 40 onwards, due to parental youthful genes.  You tired to conceal as much as possible,  but also desperately cruising to find the other permanent half.  Oogachaga will reached out to this group, for other form of social activity as to help them mingle among themselves because they know, it is either now or never as your progress into the following age...

 

When you reached 50...that is probably when TS began his anxiety. Times began to travel very fast here,  each year means a drastic change.  51 is not the same as 52 nor was it 53 and you can see how each year could change your phsyical look quite drastically,  Health supplment or skin care product is the only hope left to contain the aging at this stage both the straight and gay world.

 

When you reached 60,  nobody is going to "goo goo" at you, but a loud "BOO BOO" instead.  That will be a clear sign of society stigma against aging.  People at this age will face lots of policy issues - inflation, price,  job rejection,  gay rejection, housing (if you haven't got one yet),  friendship issues.  You can see your line between this and the teenager group are stark..  You can't be with the younger ones without being mistaken as a phedophile in public eyes. Even when a relationship is non-sexual.   Health...may suddently took a turn and change your lifestyle forever.  Let's pray, you are still strong and healthy at this age group.

 

At 70....things may slowly dis-integrate.  Some people can become crazy, completely lonely and pondered about many things in the past.  They may not think about future anymore, though they crave heavily for companiionship and even sexual element.  There will be lots of reminisce, and living in the current form of existence - one day at a time.  Simply, waiting, and spending most of their time in the neighbourhood - staring at passer bys or drinking Kopi-O siew dai and talking loudly about themselves and most likely complaint about many things.   NO more strenous activities like jogging, gyming or fucking..

 

80....probably the same as 70,  but your movement tend to be a little slow and retarded.   Many times, you wished there is help in some form  coming - to bring you from one place to another or dealing with basic hi-tech equipment, even plumbing issues at home....etc  as we moved towards becoming a cashless society or a smart nation...

 

90....You are completely retired from all form of activities and eat simply - one or two form of simple meal.  Nothing happen outside is going to bother you much. Even if there is an earthquake at your doorstep, you probably won't be so  bothered by it and let the world take care of itself.  Your behavior may just proved you are counting your year...one at a time and not afraid of eventuality.

 

@100......Steve5380 may still be around to tell BW members that it is unlikely to be called game over at this age, provided he has the energy to lift his fingers and type on his keyboards.  

 

110......Anyone want to live longer from here?

 

I rest my case.

 

 

 

Very detailed and insightful indeed. Thanks for sharing.

 

I think as a human, at the end of the day, we just want to love and be loved regardless of the age we are at.

 

Given a chance, what would you have told your younger self to be more prepared physically and mentally to face the ordeals and challenges life plans for us?

 

I hope to take proactive actions to avoid experiencing what TS is facing now.

 

Edited December 29, 2019 by kidster

[Pubic01]

I kind of suspect that no amount of skin care, exercise, diet nor amazing surgery works can hide our age/jadedness. That patina of time is etched forever into our faces and bodies whether we like it or not. Some faster. Some slower. That’s just what time does to us all. We all get worn out eventually (physically & mentally.)

 

I hope (and believe) that future attitudes/cultures towards aging and the aged will experience shift in the coming decade or so. 

Meanwhile a concealer or two will be pretty handy to ‘’mask” those pesky spots. 

Edited December 29, 2019 by Pubic01

[Guest Guest]

2 hours ago, kidster said:

 

Very detailed and insightful indeed. Thanks for sharing.

 

I think as a human, at the end of the day, we just want to love and be loved regardless of the age we are at.

 

Given a chance, what would you have told your younger self to be more prepared physically and mentally to face the ordeals and challenges life plans for us?

 

I hope to take proactive actions to avoid experiencing what TS is facing now.

 

 

Insightful? Lol! Are you trying to suck up?

[Guest A Door greatly feared]

Old age is not scary.  What is scary is our leaders are not giving up regularly, painting these group of people as unproductive, being slow, expensive,  not talented and not in line with the future thinking.  Even when you are a 60+ IT expert who can build a latest jet, it is still not enough to assure the govt that you are talented, based simply on age.

 

As such, Singapore older generations became stereotyped in every profession and skin colors. Every year, on Labour day, New year day,  in every rally messages, on TV, on newspaper, putting ageist words into employers' mouth to  justify the influx of  foreigners, who talked loud, behaved badly without consequences and did nothing much except paper works in the bank the like of Ramesh. 

 

Such Mother F'ucker's rhetorics from our leaders, obviously have a single brush of intent - to push older generations to the brim of destruction in order to make way for the new - local or foreigners.   Old age friendly facilities were not part of their game plan until only in recent years, they started to ram up facilities - to buy votes from our fast aging populations.  It came a little too long and too late.  However, that still does not dampen the leader's mood to constantly and verbally "bash" older people for not keeping up with time, with productivity and with our leaders' policies.  False threat were build into their speeches, as if the older people are akin to some serious diseases Singapore cannot afford to ignore.  Contradictory, these older leaders are still holding on to their power  with slow succession planning. It was a conflict between those older generations leadership still holding on to power and bashing older workers for just being old, and wanting  to make a simple living.  

 

TS anxiety was caught between standing at the door between the black (hair) and the white (hair).  The door has a name to it, called Pioneer or Merdeka or every name  make possible to divide the population between those the young and old.  The black is loved, the white is rejected. Obviously, the grey will start to get anxious at this stage.   It is a well known phenomenon in Singapore society.  As each generations were pushed towards those doors of segregation, fear and anxiety sets in, unless we stop talking and stereotypicing older people in our society, and they deserved more respect and well taken care for helping to build Singapore.   Until then, be prepared for a populace of depression, stress and unhappiness as everyone move forward to a new 2020. 

[Garyl]

14 minutes ago, Guest A Door greatly feared said:

Old age is not scary.  What is scary is our leaders are not giving up regularly, painting these group of people as unproductive, being slow, expensive,  not talented and not in line with the future thinking.  Even when you are a 60+ IT expert who can build a latest jet, it is still not enough to...  then, be prepared for a populace of depression, stress and unhappiness as everyone move forward to a new 2020. 

I think nobody except you see the relevance of your post. But anyway, only mod will be interested in handling these.. 👿

[LeanMature]

13 hours ago, kidster said:

 

Very detailed and insightful indeed. Thanks for sharing.

 

I think as a human, at the end of the day, we just want to love and be loved regardless of the age we are at.

 

Given a chance, what would you have told your younger self to be more prepared physically and mentally to face the ordeals and challenges life plans for us?

 

I hope to take proactive actions to avoid experiencing what TS is facing now.

 

 

It is good to take care of our body and mind when we were younger so as to age gracefully into old age. At the end of the day, less suffering before passing away. 

[Guest Guest]

3 hours ago, Garyl said:

I think nobody except you see the relevance of your post. But anyway, only mod will be interested in handling these.. 👿

 

I can see the relevance. This is  indeed an important anxiety facing the older generation in Singapore now. In the past, the older generation feels that as long as they do their job well, there will be food on the table. But nowadays, the leaders are simply bringing in the cheaper workers to replace the local workers, and even outmoding the older generation. To make things worse, new job creation doesn't seem to be much of a priority to the leaders at all. Even basic healthcare might be out of reach to the older generations now, if they hadn't planned for their own insurance when there were younger.

 

You think the anxiety of the older generation is only about how many white haired you grew and how many people you have sex with? Financial concerns is a huge cause for anxiety too. In fact, for the older generation, you might be able to get by well enough with $500k in your savings account. But in the near future, even $2 million in your bank account for the younger generations may mean nothing at all.

 

So get a grip on reality, you idiotic little kiddo. Just because it is not a concern for you, doesn't give you the right to go around bashing other people's worries.

[Ziqzac]

I guess theres really no evading from getting old. Perhaps the best way to move forward is to embrace it. A friend of mine used to tell me to sieze every opportunity available while we are still young. Live without regrets. Create memories. Instead of focusing on getting old maybe you could utilize the time you have left and make the best out of it.

[Guest swimming]

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[Guest swimming]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DJzhxU6fNxM" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Guest huh?]

34 minutes ago, Ziqzac said:

I guess theres really no evading from getting old. Perhaps the best way to move forward is to embrace it. A friend of mine used to tell me to sieze every opportunity available while we are still young. Live without regrets. Create memories. Instead of focusing on getting old maybe you could utilize the time you have left and make the best out of it.

Cop out reply.  There is no lack of time to make use of.  The gist of this topic is about acceptance, relationship and love/sex, all of which are time-sensitive. 

[Steve5380]

18 hours ago, Garyl said:

I think nobody except you see the relevance of your post. But anyway, only mod will be interested in handling these.. 👿

 

14 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

I can see the relevance.  ...  So get a grip on reality, you idiotic little kiddo. Just because it is not a concern for you, doesn't give you the right to go around bashing other people's worries.

 

Son, I had to give a "like" to you post since,  for an "idiotic little kiddo"  you bashed the worries of this "Guest Guest" quite well!  

[Guest Guest]

15 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

 

Son, I had to give a "like" to you post since,  for an "idiotic little kiddo"  you bashed the worries of this "Guest Guest" quite well!  

 

You should be getting worried about having demntia or growing senile. Garyl was not bashing Guest Guest. On the contrary, Guest Guest was bashing Garyl, the "idiotic little kiddo". Go get your facts straightened out

[Guest look young]

Many of us lie about our real age at the beginning just to have an opportunity to meet up with someone you like.

 

Let's say you maintain really well. You look 10 younger than your real age and he did not discover that. Things went well. After some time, both of you have feeling for each other.

 

When do you reveal your real age to him? Do most people mind after knowing you are actually 10 years older? Worse still, imagine already have sex with you.

 

Is this blatant lie you should have never told or a survival tactic you have no choice but to try your luck and hope for the best?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest 花木小妹妹]

On 1/1/2020 at 10:15 PM, Guest look young said:

Many of us lie about our real age at the beginning just to have an opportunity to meet up with someone you like.

 

Let's say you maintain really well. You look 10 younger than your real age and he did not discover that. Things went well. After some time, both of you have feeling for each other.

 

When do you reveal your real age to him? Do most people mind after knowing you are actually 10 years older? Worse still, imagine already have sex with you.

 

Is this blatant lie you should have never told or a survival tactic you have no choice but to try your luck and hope for the best?

 

 

Just like Hua Mulan lied about herself being a Male.   Fortunately for her, she eventually found her 阿兵哥 through her lying and disguising.  I wanted to be like her. 

[amuse.ed]

How can the gay community age with a higher

1. Quality of holistic care

2. Dignity

in Singapore?

[lonelyglobe]

On 1/1/2020 at 10:15 PM, Guest look young said:

Many of us lie about our real age at the beginning just to have an opportunity to meet up with someone you like.

 

Let's say you maintain really well. You look 10 younger than your real age and he did not discover that. Things went well. After some time, both of you have feeling for each other.

 

When do you reveal your real age to him? Do most people mind after knowing you are actually 10 years older? Worse still, imagine already have sex with you.

 

Is this blatant lie you should have never told or a survival tactic you have no choice but to try your luck and hope for the best?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't reveal the exact age,  a lot of people say age is just a number but actually most people still mind,  so just say u r in your 30s which can be 31 or 39 or let them guess, if they say u look not more than 35, just say u have already bought a hdb flat, something like that along that line. 

[mate69]

2 hours ago, amuse.ed said:

How can the gay community age with a higher

1. Quality of holistic care

2. Dignity

in Singapore?

 

1. lessen the inherent/latent discrimination against and within the community, if that is even possible

2. 377A has to go first before the issue of dignity can be brought up and discussed rationally, objectively 

[Guest PFOMA]

There are few major lies in the human gay world.

 

1)  Age is not important, it is just a number

2)  Inner beauty is more important than physical beauty

3)  We are only interested in permanent relationship (most of the time it won't last)

4)   I am good looking (the fact is, beauty can  lies in the eyes of the beholder, not what you say)

[LeanMature]

14 hours ago, Guest PFOMA said:

There are few major lies in the human gay world.

 

1)  Age is not important, it is just a number

2)  Inner beauty is more important than physical beauty

3)  We are only interested in permanent relationship (most of the time it won't last)

4)   I am good looking (the fact is, beauty can  lies in the eyes of the beholder, not what you say)

 

1)You still can achieve a sexy bod at 50 than when you are not training at 30. That's what it means by age is just a number.

2)Inner beauty is more important only when the physical beauty is gone, which is usually the case.  

3)There is no permanent relationship,  only long term relationship, which will come to an end one day. 

4)Good-looking only when you never grow old.

[Caberlot1234]

I was a late starter in gay life, having entered the scene in my late 20s. At that time I felt old and thought I had missed the boat.
 

But as the years went by, and I got older and older, I realized I did not cease to continue attracting others, including the younger ones. But another interesting development was happening inside — I was gradually accepting physical self For what it was and continues to become, growing more and more comfortable in my own physical skin, so to speak. Now I wear my salt-and-pepper hair with pride. I keep myself well. I have developed spiritually, and feel like I can derive my happiness from non-physical pleasures. I can admire the physical beauty in youth from a distance as works of art without feelings of lust for them. I am still work in progress, both physically and mentally, but the important thing is to continue developing and progressing, and to seek to overcome your fears and anxieties. 

[lean n mean]

There are many people who are getting older and getting happier. Observe and learn from them. Unless your mind is dead set that such and such a thing/state is bad (when we know that there are always exceptions to stereotypes),  and you choose to be always focused on the negatives, you will get them in spades. If you can't let go of physical beauty, you will of course dread getting old. But you can try and find a replacement for it, e.g spirituality can ease you into accepting that you don't have to depend on your looks forever to be contented. 

[Guest Huh??]

13 hours ago, lean n mean said:

There are many people who are getting older and getting happier. Observe and learn from them.

I thought so too.  But after some observations and thru personal experience about them, I realised HAPPYINESS can be faked.   Even though they small outwardly and beaming all day long, the way they behaved, talk and thought didn't quite relate to their being happy.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Huh?? said:

I thought so too.  But after some observations and thru personal experience about them, I realised HAPPYINESS can be faked.   Even though they small outwardly and beaming all day long, the way they behaved, talk and thought didn't quite relate to their being happy.

 

Let's give credit to those who fake their happiness for being considerate with the people around them.  A faked happiness makes them much nicer than if they show unhappiness.

And hopefully you have also realized that happiness does not come naturally but needs to be nurtured. It takes spiritual work to be and stay happy.

 

14 hours ago, Caberlot1234 said:

I was a late starter in gay life, having entered the scene in my late 20s. At that time I felt old and thought I had missed the boat.
 

But as the years went by, and I got older and older, I realized I did not cease to continue attracting others, including the younger ones. But another interesting development was happening inside — I was gradually accepting physical self For what it was and continues to become, growing more and more comfortable in my own physical skin, so to speak. Now I wear my salt-and-pepper hair with pride. I keep myself well. I have developed spiritually, and feel like I can derive my happiness from non-physical pleasures. I can admire the physical beauty in youth from a distance as works of art without feelings of lust for them. I am still work in progress, both physically and mentally, but the important thing is to continue developing and progressing, and to seek to overcome your fears and anxieties. 

 

My story is quite similar to yours, although I entered the gay scene at about 50.  At that time I didn't feel old, and now more than 20 years later I still don't feel old.   I have kept myself well and healthy thanks to good habits (exercise and good nutrition) and I am doing what I can to keep old look at bay, within moderation.  We gain spirituality as we age, and this is a benefit of old age that the young don't know about,  therefore they fear old age and think that it is all a loss.  It is not, of course, but an exchange of some losses for some gains.  One excellent trait you have is that you consider yourself a work in progress.  We should never give this up but always strive for improving ourselves.  Some may ask:  what is the point in keeping improving when you are old, let's say after 70,  when you have so few years left?  Well, there is satisfaction in the PROCESS of improving. Death may interrupt this process, but so it can in persons who are very young.  

[LeanMature]

15 hours ago, lean n mean said:

There are many people who are getting older and getting happier. Observe and learn from them. Unless your mind is dead set that such and such a thing/state is bad (when we know that there are always exceptions to stereotypes),  and you choose to be always focused on the negatives, you will get them in spades. If you can't let go of physical beauty, you will of course dread getting old. But you can try and find a replacement for it, e.g spirituality can ease you into accepting that you don't have to depend on your looks forever to be contented. 

 

Agreed.  Basically, spend more time on other stuff, beside sex. 

[amuse.ed]

I wonder how our forefathers invented the years in which became our age. Nonetheless, its important how a person matures despite facing the time factor challenges. I learnt from my ex lecturer that it's how you age that matters. Of course there will be different opinions and expectations but in general is to be with a group of like minded people who one can render and garner support. 

[amuse.ed]

On 1/6/2020 at 7:09 PM, mate69 said:

 

1. lessen the inherent/latent discrimination against and within the community, if that is even possible

2. 377A has to go first before the issue of dignity can be brought up and discussed rationally, objectively 

With our current ecological system, its seriously very tough to achieve these, especially No. 2. 

[Steve5380]

On 1/6/2020 at 2:38 AM, amuse.ed said:

How can the gay community age with a higher

1. Quality of holistic care

2. Dignity

in Singapore?

 

Aside from plans the government provide for older folks, which is something the individual has little control, the quality of holistic care is in each of our hands throughout life. Ways we live when younger will have an impact when we are old.  It is both saving money for retirement and living healthy to reach old age in good health.

 

Dignity?  We are the holders of our dignity also throughout life.  You mean that society should deal with the aged with more dignity?  It is hard to force people to treat others with more dignity,  but we older people should not let our dignity be violated, for which the first step is FOR US to preserve our dignity.   Someone offends our dignity?  Don't deal with the scumbag but ignore him. If having to deal with him (like a public employee), then protest, file complaints.  If the violation of dignity comes from physical abuse,  then learn a Martial Art. 

[earth_tone]

-

Edited September 12, 2021 by earth_tone

[AFter8]

This octogenarian has this piece of advice to offer us @ 1'25":

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLm6xVs79Lk

[gucici]

Ya, as reality sets in, you cannot just not acknowledge that you are no longer part of the 20s outing to ktvs, drink till late.. You can only think that you used to be at their age and at that age, how you tell yourself you are not that other 30s uncle and no topics to chat abt with them. 

Now you have become the 30s uncle. But you have new goals in life now. Thats the only best part.