Share your experience of being Ghosted, Catfish encounter (compiled)

[Guest jaded]

Just wish to highlight this so that others will not fall in the same trap

Today in another website someone sent me a pvt msg asking me to meet up to have fun. He goes by the nick 'dancingboi' and cos his stats is wat I like plus he stays near me so i agreed. He gave me his mobile and ask me to sms him. So I sms him to check if his place is available now and till wat time.

his reply was a strange :"ya, who's this?"

me : we just msg each other in (website)

him: cool what you seek?

this is the weird part as we already in the website already exchanged about what sort of fun we seeking.

me : huh din we msg about meeting up for fun? haha

him : where are u? let's meet now.

so I clarified with him the direction/address was arranged that I go over his place.

When I reached his house a condo unit in woodlands (famous - mainly whitish walls at Dr 16), I was a bit lost and called him to ask how to find his unit.....while on the phone I could still hear the 'sound' notification on that website notifying users of new msgs. I was surprised to see his maid ironing in his house....so i thot maybe it's ok for him and he invited me in. In his room then he expressed that he wasn't aware that his maid was around and so he dun think it's possible to have any fun then and so I left thinking how lame could he be.

I guess he just wasn't too keen and was finding an excuse.

The silliest thing is when I reach home the moement I log onto that same website again, I received another pvt msg sent in that instance from that website from 'dancingboi' asking me if I'm keen to meet up for some wild fun'.

I therefore came to the conclusion that 'dancingboi' and the guy whom I met up are separate entities. So I decided to share my bad experience here so that I hope there will not be anyone fall into the same trap.

[Guest Sauna idol]

May be he just want to see how you look like. He could also be using another person hp number and act as middleman between you and the stranger. There are lots of possibility. Chat room is already an outdated place to find love. Sauna is still the best place to find someone you like and free testing in bed too.

[Guest -jaded]

May be he just want to see how you look like. He could also be using another person hp number and act as middleman between you and the stranger. There are lots of possibility. Chat room is already an outdated place to find love. Sauna is still the best place to find someone you like and free testing in bed too.

pls read carefully, I wasn't in chatroom. secondly I wasn't looking for love.

[Guest good lesson]

So I decided to share my bad experience here so that I hope there will not be anyone fall into the same trap.

traps r everywhere. Jerks, weirdos, nuisances and bad gays r everywhere too. This everyone shd know already.

oh u shd also hope that everyone here also learn not to be naive and gullible like u?

[Guest jaded]

I just post with the good intentions to get people to be more aware. Do I deserve being chided like this? ask your conscious if you have one. Bad gays - do u mean people who read postings and still feel u're not unlucky enough and still wanna plunge a knife into u?

[Guest jaded]

Neither am I asking for sympathy.

However if you have nothing nice to say, then dun say.

We are already living in a society that can't wait to prosecute us, discriminate against us....yet what do we do? instead of helping one another, we step onto each other, laugh at other's misfortune. We ask others not to be so judgmental but still we do so. We ask others not to discriminate us but we discriminate against each other.

Gay used to mean happy. Are we really really happy?

[alex666]

maybe u just not his type, thats all.....meeting with strangers always carry a certain "risk".

[Guest Anonymous Gay Hooker]

Neither am I asking for sympathy.

However if you have nothing nice to say, then dun say.

We are already living in a society that can't wait to prosecute us, discriminate against us....yet what do we do? instead of helping one another, we step onto each other, laugh at other's misfortune. We ask others not to be so judgmental but still we do so. We ask others not to discriminate us but we discriminate against each other.

Gay used to mean happy. Are we really really happy?

Anyway here is my take.

You are right, gay people (especially in Singapore) are no longer "gay". And to me, it is not so much to do with external discrimination (government, society, etc, etc).

Now its all about if you have six pack abs, tanned and waxed like pxxn stars, carrying the most loud and expensive "man" bags (gucci, prada, LV, take your pick), $$$ in your bank, lives in District 10 or drives a porsche.

Its all about how many guys u can f**ked (like sport trophies), how many toyboys you can keep (again like some sort of trophies), affairs you can have and how many naive fools (like you, dun mean to be an offense) one can get away.

Its me me me me me me. Thats all to it.

WHATEVER *ROLL MY EYES* (Like some mean Valley high school girls).

[oralb]

2 possibilities:

1. He was the guy from the internet, however maybe you are not his type, hence no sex. as for why he asked you what you were seeking, he definitely was messaging and chatting with a few guys all at one go, in fact I am sure he couldnt even remember your nick when you called him. That would explain why he sent you the message again later. He couldnt recall who did he contact anyway

2. His friend was trying to hook up for him.

That said, moved on. As someone commented blind date carries a certain risk. I dont really see you got played out.

Let me put it this way, say you met him, and somehow he wasnt your type, would you have continue to stay on and have sex with him? Or would you find a reason to excuse yourself? If you choose the latter, would he feel "played out" also?

[wolfz]

To Jaded's defence, what I got from his post was that he was just trying to warn everyone else about the whole middleman thing going on behind the scenes. And although the title to his post may have led some to believe that he was just bitter about being 'played out', the message at the end of the day was to beware of possible fraud or setups.

It could be the cops, just some innocent guy, or maybe someone totally unlike what he described online. Noone knows for sure, and the possibilities are endless, so just keep a keen eye on things when we meetup with strangers.

Anyway, thats my take on this post. Just disregard me if you think otherwise.

[raymond]

I think jaded is trying to caution those have similar intention. Hooking up via chat, pvt msg or phone is always a big risk. You can meet all sort of people i.e. gay basher (this is extreme case), undercover police, gd lking or ugly looking...etc and most will not give their true stats. Best maybe u want to meet outside before proceeding to his or your house to play safe... But I must say some would love the thrill of meeting someone unknown to have sex....

I know of a few friends logging on to chat room to find sex (ONS) and they are still doing it now.. They find it thrilling..but I would say they haven't encountered something nasty yet. Once they encountered, they might not do it again... Just like most of us know driving into JB has a risk but most will think "nothing will happen to me" until one find day when it struck, then it is too late... Read the past newspaper and you will know always quote " I drove in so many times and nothing happen and I don't think it will happen to me but why now???"

Personally, I still think Sauna is a good place to hook up...or like 1 of my friend try all island wide masseurs and hoping to find sex there too... To each his own... but just be careful.

[raymond]

Yesterday was a rainy day...so may nt be a good gauge... Usually, the most crowded time, it is around 6pm - 8pm timeframe...

[Guest jaded]

maybe u just not his type, thats all.....meeting with strangers always carry a certain "risk".

This is clearly not a simple case of who's each other's type but more of like mentioned like oralb.....2 possibilities.

Else how u explain why he dunno who I am when I SMS him? secondly why dancingboi still sent me pvt message from the website asking if I "wanna meet up for wild fun now" when I reach home.....this shows he's mass sending pvt msg to all and perhaps trying to sabo that guy.

And hence pls understand again that

1) I've been in this circle long enough to know the risks - hence yes i took up the risk and I'm not posting not complaining about that risk I took

2) my intention or purpose of my posting is to inform others beware of that guy and/or someone by the nick of dancingboi.

[Eragon]

traps r everywhere. Jerks, weirdos, nuisances and bad gays r everywhere too. This everyone shd know already.

oh u shd also hope that everyone here also learn not to be naive and gullible like u?

A lot of people in this forum can be really nasty, mean and ignorant. The people makes the place and obviously, this is what we have over here.

[junxiang]

supposed to meet a 20yo Indian boy around my place.

He was rather arrogant in stating that he just want a BJ. will not do anything for me in return. Got his contact from one of the related thread here. He told me he was 20yo, good looking and 7", I thought, why not, so I dated him here.

He turn up to look at least 30 plus, with a big tummy, totally out of shape, thick moustache. totally different from the boy image I expecting to see.

I decide not to see him, out of courtesy, i send him a sms stating the reason and tell him I am not meeting him. Even if i meet him, I also cannot do anything.

Is that call aeroplane him?

as if getting my just dessert, today supposed to meet a 23yo boy.

We arrange to meet around his place. I told him I will be there is 20 mins..

reached there on time but he msg and tell me to give him 5 mins to bath.

waited 20 mins for him and he finally msg me to go up to 11th floor. ask for unit number but no response.

waited another 20 mins on the 11th floor but no response.

then later msg me to say since I cannot wait, then dun meet lor.

we are talking from Scruff which happens to have the GPS.

One minute I see his location as "a few steps away" and next minute he was 300m away.

I just realised that before I went up, I saw a rather good looking guy in his 20s walking past my car. He must have seen me and decide that I am not his type, that's why such reaction.

haha, karma for me right?

He actually seen my pic on Scruff and we have been chatting everyday for almost 2 weeks. all gone. this is gay life.!

[Guest Show la]

Show us ur pic la. Wonder why u kenna reject lor

Pic not recent issit?

[junxiang]

Show us ur pic la. Wonder why u kenna reject lor

Pic not recent issit?

Haha, my pic quite recent.

but most ppl I met always said I look better in real

[imran]

Haha, my pic quite recent.

but most ppl I met always said I look better in real

i always ask to see the person's pic b4 meet.See from few diff sources (msn, blog, fb, myspace..etc). Better to reject ol than face to face akwardness.

[Mohd_Ben]

Had the same experience before... Been there and done that...

[mfn.live81]

Actually not exactly the same case lei ...

The first scenario where u allegedly aeroplane; u were sort of being deceived but u actually politely smsed him promptly stating the reason y u cant accommodate his needs.

Second scenario; u were strung up and being delayed for a total of 40mins before being impolitely rejected when just a simple polite sms to state reason y the meetup cant proceed by the other guy would save u so much time.

In the end, i do agree with you that this is gay life ... ppl higher up in the stats ladder always treat others however they feel like but its up to u to not treat others lower than u the same.

[skbi]

chatted with someone here,supposed to meet up and have a nice session.reached his block,sms him...no reply...call him few times..hp off...sad...

[Guest James]

For me, when i reached the place and relised that he is not my type, i will still go forward to greet him and ve a drink with him tats all.

[tokiwado]

I echo what james say. Will not be rude n totally ignore.

[snowball]

this is gay life.

not only gay will do that, even straight, it is the ugly side of human

i will still go forward to greet him and ve a drink with him tats all.

:thumb: you are kind enough, but most people not even a sms or call telling the person not his type & make the person keep on waiting.

that is life, either we reject or get rejected, no right or wrong, don't need to take it so serious, is just a game afterall, not worth to make yourself unhappy

[Guest Karren Mok]

Those who treat pp in this way, will get it oneday. Because the earth is round and soon you will get it back.

[Guest Guest]

I gave up meeting ppl from internet long time ago. Just go to suana...what u see is what u get....just fxxk and forget

[junxiang]

Those who treat pp in this way, will get it oneday. Because the earth is round and soon you will get it back.

When he did not give number, I already suspect not that smooth.

when he delay, I tried to maintain my cool cos I dun want him to use that excuse not to come down.

when he give floor but not give unit, i already smell a dead rat.

then he start to blame his iphone low batt and he was charging it. next min he blame Scruff for lagging. If he really cannot get he, he should have call me as he already have my number.

Then he start to blame me "wait a while (almost an hour in total) also cannot"

after waiting a good 20 mins on the 11th floor, I finally confirm he just playing.

his Scruff GPS shows him 300m away and he stay say he is at home.

I am sure he was having a great time giggling at his victory.

anyway, his nick on Scruff is slimwest25 and he supposed to stay at blk 412 Teban Gdn.

[Mohd_Ben]

I really don't like being played out at all...

[Guest Donna Summer]

When he did not give number, I already suspect not that smooth.

when he delay, I tried to maintain my cool cos I dun want him to use that excuse not to come down.

when he give floor but not give unit, i already smell a dead rat.

then he start to blame his iphone low batt and he was charging it. next min he blame Scruff for lagging. If he really cannot get he, he should have call me as he already have my number.

Then he start to blame me "wait a while (almost an hour in total) also cannot"

after waiting a good 20 mins on the 11th floor, I finally confirm he just playing.

his Scruff GPS shows him 300m away and he stay say he is at home.

I am sure he was having a great time giggling at his victory.

anyway, his nick on Scruff is slimwest25 and he supposed to stay at blk 412 Teban Gdn.

You are indeed very cruel. Things you can't get you just want to get it back to pp. Even post his address on the web.

I dun know wat to say, but i always believe in one thing. What you did to pp, you will get it back one day. Wait till this day come, you will know how is it like and feels..

[junxiang]

You are indeed very cruel. Things you can't get you just want to get it back to pp. Even post his address on the web.

I dun know wat to say, but i always believe in one thing. What you did to pp, you will get it back one day. Wait till this day come, you will know how is it like and feels..

Dun think too much la Bro.

for a start, I already say that it's my Karma to meet such a person.

what address? I only give his blk number. It might not even be the right one from the way he protect himself by not giving contact number and unit number means he planning to do something.

i have suspect that he might even give me opposite blk and watch me from there.

all these given just to prevent others to end up like me. it's just an indication only. but I can 100% confirm that he is AROUND there according to my Scruff's gps. so next time if anyone chat with anyone around that area, just be careful. So why can't you think of the positive side and be appreciative?

Nick on Scruff can be change anytime too. so relax, I not that evil.

Edited October 13, 2010 by junxiang

[Guest Karma]

for all you know , it's not karma but rather the guy who played you out ask his friend to play you back. Anyway for me , I had my fair share of being play out since i know I am not good looking. But every time i meet people for sex, I will make it clear first , I will go over or he will come over but if Clicked , then we will do , if not it's ok, then just for a cup of coffee or jerk off or just good bye.

Worst case was , I was waiting for this guy under his blk , I saw someone who look like him walk past but he act as if never see me , then i waited for more then 30 min , sms him also no reply , then i sms him to say I not waiting and going off le , then he replied , he was the guy whom i think i saw and i am not his type , but still he let me wait for more then 30 min to tell me that.

Well but so far had been lucky these few years , never been played anymore

[kk123boy]

Seldom meet people as not really convenient..

But do have some experience, when meet, he is not as wat he described... Will still meet, chat abit, and tell him, "maybe we meet again next time" most of them understand wat i mean la..

[Guest Turned-Off]

I don't know why people bother to use fake photos to let people have the impression that they are very good-looking and when we finally meet up, then he will just shrug it off and say, "Oh, that picture was a couple of years back" when in the first place, his face does not even have the slightest resemblance to what was being shown on the internet. He wasn't as toned as what the picture showed either. Instead, he had 1 big pack in front.

What I couldn't figure out was why did he even put in the effort to try to deceive when he should know he will be exposed almost immediately when we meet up. Of course, I did not have the mood to proceed further but I still entered his house with the intention of chatting with him. Afterall, I did travel all the way to Kallang from the west side.

He looked like he wasn't impressed with me either when I politely declined his offer to let my suck me. The he said, "Oh, actually I don't find you attractive either"

LOL I told him yea, same here. Maybe we should just end it here and I left his place. Totally a waste of my time. :yuk:

[XiaoYuEr]

I don't know why people bother to use fake photos to let people have the impression that they are very good-looking and when we finally meet up, then he will just shrug it off and say, "Oh, that picture was a couple of years back" when in the first place, his face does not even have the slightest resemblance to what was being shown on the internet. He wasn't as toned as what the picture showed either. Instead, he had 1 big pack in front.

What I couldn't figure out was why did he even put in the effort to try to deceive when he should know he will be exposed almost immediately when we meet up. Of course, I did not have the mood to proceed further but I still entered his house with the intention of chatting with him. Afterall, I did travel all the way to Kallang from the west side.

He looked like he wasn't impressed with me either when I politely declined his offer to let my suck me. The he said, "Oh, actually I don't find you attractive either"

LOL I told him yea, same here. Maybe we should just end it here and I left his place. Totally a waste of my time. :yuk:

That was creepy 'cos that's exactly the SAME experience I had! I went all the way from the west to Kallang to meet up with that guy. And he looked totally different from his photo yet he insisted it was him a few years back. Anyway I decided to stay on intending to chat for a while as I am not quite the type to reject ppl in their faces.

Turned out to be a disaster... eg, showed me profiles of his hookups from sgboy, told me he is a part time hair stylist and even start to comment on the skill of my stylist based on my haircut.. etcetc. And when he wanted more I declined politely (as he is totally nowhere like his pics) and his retort was "oh actually I am not into you too" and in my mind I was like "...???". One totally weird experience that I'll nv forget. Perhaps it's the same fella?

Seriously, I dont get what's it with guys who put up pics which obviously aren't their's? What's the rationale behind it? Are they hoping that guys they deceived couldnt spot the difference or they wouldnt mind? It's quite a waste of time for both parties actually.

Edited October 13, 2010 by XiaoYuEr

[Guest tebanite]

When he did not give number, I already suspect not that smooth.

when he delay, I tried to maintain my cool cos I dun want him to use that excuse not to come down.

when he give floor but not give unit, i already smell a dead rat.

then he start to blame his iphone low batt and he was charging it. next min he blame Scruff for lagging. If he really cannot get he, he should have call me as he already have my number.

Then he start to blame me "wait a while (almost an hour in total) also cannot"

after waiting a good 20 mins on the 11th floor, I finally confirm he just playing.

his Scruff GPS shows him 300m away and he stay say he is at home.

I am sure he was having a great time giggling at his victory.

anyway, his nick on Scruff is slimwest25 and he supposed to stay at blk 412 Teban Gdn.

Block 412 Teban Garden... 11th floor... door to door knock la HHAAAAAA

[Guest Crap]

That was creepy 'cos that's exactly the SAME experience I had! I went all the way from the west to Kallang to meet up with that guy. And he looked totally different from his photo yet he insisted it was him a few years back. Anyway I decided to stay on intending to chat for a while as I am not quite the type to reject ppl in their faces.

Turned out to be a disaster... eg, showed me profiles of his hookups from sgboy, told me he is a part time hair stylist and even start to comment on the skill of my stylist based on my haircut.. etcetc. And when he wanted more I declined politely (as he is totally nowhere like his pics) and his retort was "oh actually I am not into you too" and in my mind I was like "...???". One totally weird experience that I'll nv forget. Perhaps it's the same fella?

Seriously, I dont get what's it with guys who put up pics which obviously aren't their's? What's the rationale behind it? Are they hoping that guys they deceived couldnt spot the difference or they wouldnt mind? It's quite a waste of time for both parties actually.

Oh Gosh!! I had a similar experience too! I drove to the coffeeshop next to Kallang MRT after he shown me "his" profile in Trevvy and when i meet up with him, it's so obvious that it wasn't him at all. I turn him down and he still persuade me that since i come all the way, why not just relax and let him suck me off? I rejected him a few times and he say he wasn't very keen with me either. I was being very kind and even offer to sent him and drop him off at the road side near the KPE exit. haha!! I think it's the same guy we are referring to... Damn stress that i had to put up a smile to escape away... when he alight, i was "phew"... SWEAT!!

[Guest chubachub9]

I had a bad experience going to a guy's place when his MOTHER was still at home....

Anyway, that's why I always ask 'Are you alone?' before I go to someone's place.

Recently, I went to this guy's place and a woman answered the door when I knocked. I was shocked as he had implied that he was alone.

I left, and later blamed him for not telling the truth. He also scolded me for not sms-ing him right before I knocked, so that he would open the door and not his mom. But the point was I asked he was alone and he implied so!

Wasted a long drive...........!

[Guest Super Chub]

I had a bad experience going to a guy's place when his MOTHER was still at home....

Anyway, that's why I always ask 'Are you alone?' before I go to someone's place.

Recently, I went to this guy's place and a woman answered the door when I knocked. I was shocked as he had implied that he was alone.

I left, and later blamed him for not telling the truth. He also scolded me for not sms-ing him right before I knocked, so that he would open the door and not his mom. But the point was I asked he was alone and he implied so!

Wasted a long drive...........!

Or Bee.

[snowball]

always a risk when you meeting someone, your Luck

[junxiang]

Haha, how about a change?

anyone got stories to share about how they aeroplane people? and their reasons(excuses behind it.

any professional pilot (aeroplaner) around here who did it for shiokness? let us hear yr stories.

Edited October 19, 2010 by junxiang

[Guest Guest]

Oh Gosh!! I had a similar experience too! I drove to the coffeeshop next to Kallang MRT after he shown me "his" profile in Trevvy and when i meet up with him, it's so obvious that it wasn't him at all. I turn him down and he still persuade me that since i come all the way, why not just relax and let him suck me off? I rejected him a few times and he say he wasn't very keen with me either. I was being very kind and even offer to sent him and drop him off at the road side near the KPE exit. haha!! I think it's the same guy we are referring to... Damn stress that i had to put up a smile to escape away... when he alight, i was "phew"... SWEAT!!

Oh Gosh!! I had a similar experience too! I waited for 1/2 hour and noticed a damn ugly guy walked past me twice. I was praying it is not him. I expected he will not be like in his profile but this is cheating really too much. In the end I quickly went off.

Then he called me and to say sorry and he was actually there but too afraid that I will reject him. Immediately I was saying heng ah otherwise I talk to him also dont know what to scold him or console him. He is really really damn ugly and I dont want to describe here because very obvious. If he read it he will know I am describing him.

But since he lie and waste my time, I must take revenge. So I told him that I already promised him to be his friend he should not worry. He was so happy and quickly asked to meet again. So we arrange again same place.

This time I did not turn up and off my phone hehe. When I on my phone few hours later, he sms already scold me for not keeping promise and he wait 2 hour for me. I sms back hahaha hehehe hohoho. Then off my phone.

[Guest Being Playout]

I got to know this btm chub guy from this forum. After a few emails exchange, we exchange our contact no. and made arrangement to meet up.

As his place will only be available at around 230am. So I have to take cab from hougang area to his place at bedok. We sms each other till about 1230am. Then i went to prepare myself and took a cab down.

When I reach his blk at 230am, called and sms him, no responds. I was pretty upset. Even if last min, something pop up, and his place is no longer available he could have just sms me to inform me, and i be ok. Why play pple out at 230am in the morning? Waited for about an hour before I left. The cab fare to and fro already cost me near to $40. Sigh!

[kidster]

The objective of this poll is to bring your attention such unwarranted behavior on Grindr. We are all out to find friends, sex for some (let's not deny it) and LTR for many in this small lonely circle.

 

Life as an aj is already very tough. Why makes it worse for our fellow members? 

[kidster]

Hi Admin, how come my post ends up in IT rest room section?

[bigdanbeam]

"No answer will be deducted for wrong answer. "

 

??

[lonelysarawakian89]

i dont like this scenario .. it happened alot in Malaysia . Seriously, certain gay in Malaysia is totally "freaking out" and too choosy like "sheet". haha

[escapelife]

This is a huge rant!

 

Why are there very sick people in this community? 

 

Grindr is a quick hook up app. 

Casually chatting guys up for fun and see whose interested. Then theres tht one guy who replies. We agreed to meet at his place and when Im there, he disappears from the app.

Like what the fucking fuck! Its just a random hook up. Why would someone play such a nasty and cruel joke. And the cheek that they still can be using somebody else photo. 

 

Whats worse is that this incident happened to me twice! 

 

Oh god I give up men. Its alreasy insanely hard to find someone, but even when Im just looking for a quick fuck... the world is against me. 

[Guest not guest above]

For God's sake, arent you using a hookup app. 

 

A hookup is a NSA , quick connect, quick blast, 炮友 encounter。

 

same like you can drop and reject ppl, ditto others can drop the ball.

[Slimflex]

At least have the courtesy to say no in the face. But most likely you met a Catfish.

[Guest Guest]

4 hours ago, escapelife said:

This is a huge rant!

 

Why are there very sick people in this community? 

 

Grindr is a quick hook up app. 

Casually chatting guys up for fun and see whose interested. Then theres tht one guy who replies. We agreed to meet at his place and when Im there, he disappears from the app.

Like what the fucking fuck! Its just a random hook up. Why would someone play such a nasty and cruel joke. And the cheek that they still can be using somebody else photo. 

 

Whats worse is that this incident happened to me twice! 

 

Oh god I give up men. Its alreasy insanely hard to find someone, but even when Im just looking for a quick fuck... the world is against me. 

Now you have sex with women? Give up on men because of hook up..hahaha..men give up on you lah...see u men run away.